Total WWE Island: The Complete First Season
by x.Cult Of Personality.x
Summary: Re-Uploaded. Chris Jericho is the host as 24 WWE Superstars and Divas reside on one island for a grand prize, 500,000 bucks! As the cast collides, chaos ensues.
1. Episode 1

**_AN: Had to re-upload this into one whole story._**

* * *

Total WWE Island: Welcome To TWI pt. 1

Episode 1

"Hey world, you know who this is! The Madonna of Sports Entertainment, the ayatollah of rock and rolla, the

codebreaker, Y2J, Chris Jericho! And I'm your host for one crazy little show McMahon only paid me $20 grand to do!

Anyways, you've seen shows like Lost and Survivor, right? Well, this show's just like those. Here's the deal: 24 WWE

Superstars and Divas are on their way here as we speak. They'll be separated into two teams, Team Raw and Team

SmackDown, go Raw! The two teams will compete in mind grueling, insane games and competitions and whoever team

loses, one member of the team has to take the walk of shame and get the hell up outta here! The last contestant

standing will indeed win a whopping $500,000! Now let's stop talking and get this show on the road!"

* * *

*Guitar riff*

_"Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!...I walk the miles inside this pit of danger, a place where no one follows me, I walk alone!"_

"Hey, it's Batista!" cried Jericho. "How's it going, man?"

"Cut the crap, Jericho. How long am I gonna be here and how much do I get paid?" he asked.

"Dude, I'M barely getting paid myself! So don't complain, all right?" he replied.

_"Time to play the Game...TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!...It's all about the game, and how you play it, all about control..."_

"Triple H, my man! How's it feel to be here?" asked Jericho.

"Uh, where am I? I was told I was going to Florida to get my other paycheck!" he exclaimed.

"Well, change of plans, ok? NEXT!"

*rap beat*

_"Your time is up, my time is now, you can't see me, my time is now! It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin' now, you can't see me, my time is NOW!"_

"Yo, what's up, everyone! The champ...is...heeeeerrreee!" he announced.

"Just like old times, eh Cena?" asked Batista.

"Ditto." agreed Triple H.

"Where's Maria?" asked John.

"Not ready to see you, I'm guessing." he replied.

_"Oh, yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh...whoo!...I can slap a tornado, I can dry up a sea, yeah. When I live for the moment, there ain't no ain't knowing me..."_

"Matt Hardy, one half of the Hardy boys! How you doing?" asked Jericho.

"Pretty good, thanks. Uh, no one told me I was camping with Hunter, Cena, and Batista." he replied, looking at his competition.

"Matty! Welcome to the club!" exclaimed Triple H.

"Finally, a formidable opponent." agreed Batista.

"What about me?" asked Cena.

"What about you?" Batista asked dully.

_"I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they tell me things that I will do, they show me things I'll do to you, they talk to me..."_

"Orton." the guys said darkly.

"Why the hell am I here with these guys?" he demanded.

"Oh, believe you, me, I'm no angrier than you are." Jericho replied.

"Whatever. All of you better just stay the hell outta my way!" he exclaimed.

"I feel like kicking his ass after dinner." Triple H replied.

"I got dibs on him first." interrupted John.

_"Don't you see the writing on the wall (Don't you see the writing on the wall), You're way in over your head, you're gonna drown in the things that you said, Time has come and gone for words, a thousand threats I've heard before, but words are cheap, but lies are faint to me..."_

"Jeff Hardy! The second half of the Hardy boys!" exclaimed Jericho. "How you doing?"

"Not bad, not bad. Hey, Matt! Wow, what's everyone doing here? What am I doing here?" he asked.

"All will be revealed once everyone gets here." he replied.

"Then how many other people are coming?" asked Batista.

"Uh...about 18." replied Jericho.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" screamed Orton from a distance.

"Man, you say that again, and I'm officially calling a championship match!" exclaimed Triple H.

"Make that a Triple Threat match for the title!" added Cena.

_"YeeeeAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh...yeah...All I ever wanted was destiny to be fufilled, it is in my hands, I must not fail, I must not fail!...even through the darkest days, this fire burns always, this fire burns, always..."_

"Punk." Jericho and Orton said darkly.

"Aw, hell no! Don't tell me I have to deal with you two." CM Punk replied. "Orton, you couldn't stop jerking around, so you had to ambush me and take away my chance at defending my title! And YOU Jericho! You just jumped in the ring and stole that title away!"

"YOU LISTEN TO ME-" started Orton.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SOB STORY-" exclaimed Jericho.

"!#)*_#(*#(*$(*#(_#*!_$(!_(!_$(!_!" they all screamed.

"Guys, guys!" screamed Batista. "Break it up, damn it!"

Later...

_"You know (you know), What me say SOS, I hear them shoutin SOS, I hear them cryin, because you woke up in a badman place, you no safe you could run for days, you can't get away, I bring relief for sorrow and pain, you should of never tried get in my face..."_

"Well, well, well. Kofi Kingston. The former Intercontinental Champion." announced Jericho.

"No, mon, I'ma win that title back, y'see!" he exclaimed.

*Vicotry is Mine theme*

"Make-a way! Make-a way! Glamarella-a coming through!" called Santino.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?" Batista asked dully.

_"You think you know me...On this day, I see clearly, everything has come to life, bitter place, and a broken dream, and we leave it all behind..."_

"Aw, come on! Orton, Edge, Jericho, I'm afraid to see who's next." said Triple H.

"Jealous much, Hunter?" asked Edge. "After all, I AM the Rated R Superstar."

"Shut up, nimrod." he muttered.

_"I think I'm cute. I know I'm sexy. I got the looks, that drive the girls wild, I got the moves, that really move 'em, I send chills, up and down their spine, I'm just a sexy boy (sexy boy), I'm not your boy toy (boy toy), I'm just a sexy boy..."_

"Well, it seems like I'm making more enemies than friends here today." Jericho said darkly.

"Likewise. You, Edge, and Orton make me wanna hurl." Shawn replied.

The three guys just glared at him.

"But I've got friends in good places! What's up, everyone?" he asked the gang.

*Ding ding ding ding. JBL's theme*

"Now JBL's here!" CM Punk cried in despair.

"Now that's no way to speak to one of the most respected wrestlers this business has ever seen! I demand respect, and I demand it from each and every one of you, understand me-what the hell-WAKE UP!" he cried, waking everyone up.

"Is it Saturday yet?" Jeff asked.

*Obsession theme song*

"Mickie!" Matt cried happily.

"Matt!" she cried back. "Hey, Chris!"

"Hey, Mickie! How are you doin'?" he asked.

"I'm better now that I've seen my Matty!" she exclaimed, hugging him.

"Hey now! Glamarella's supposed to be the ONLY couple on this show!" exclaimed the Glamazon.

"Well, things change, now don't they?" Matt replied with a smile.

_"Holla, holla...Now all my girls in the club say oh, cause you know just how we do, side to side and front to back, if you ain't taking that (holla holla)"_

"Hi, everyone!" Kelly Kelly exclaimed.

"It's so nice to see some civilized women here to take our minds off of this Orton/Edge/Jericho crap." John said with a smile.

Jericho glared at him. "Anyway, how're you doing, Kel?" he asked.

"Great! This show's gonna be awesome!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, Kel!" Jeff called, blushing. "How you doing?"

"Hey, Jeff!" she replied, blushing. "I'm good, you?"

"Yeah, uh, same here." he said with a smile.

Blushing, the two just looked at each other and chuckled.

_"Here she comes again, like good medicine, every step she takes, my blood is flowing, her legs go on and on for days...look out! She'll tear your heart out! Look out! She'll rock your world, there's no doubt..."_

"MARIA!" cried Cena.

"Uh oh. Cena, calm down! Don't give yourself a heart attack." she replied.

"I'm so glad you're here. I planned out all the things we should do together, this is gonna be sweet!" he exclaimed.

"Whatever you say, John. Whatever you say." she smiled.

"Maria!" Jericho said slyly.

"Hey!" she replied.

"She's mine, bub." John said threateningly.

_"You're not enough for me, just another man in love with me...gotta open up your eyes and see...you're not enough for me..."_

"Michelle McCool! Welcome to the show!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Thanks, Chris! Wow, everyone's here!" she exclaimed.

*Paparazzi theme song*

"Hey, Melina!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Outta my way. I was told I was on my way to a photo shoot and I ended up...here! I have a manicure appointment in like, 1 hour!" she exclaimed angrily.

"She bothers me in so many ways." Mickie said dully.

"Same here, sweetie." agreed Kelly.

*Maryse's theme song*

"Maryse!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Move it or lose it." she scoffed with a heavy accent.

"Bitch." Michelle muttered.

"Such biting words coming from a long haired skank!" she snapped.

"Look who's talking, Cleopatra Bones!" Michelle snapped back.

"Oh!" exclaimed everyone else.

"Hey, leave her alone, Maryse!" CM Punk exclaimed. "Michelle didn't do anything to you, so knock it off!"

Maryse scoffed, while Michelle blushed.

"You leave Maryse alone!" Natalya cried, leaping from the yacht. "You're all just jealous-WHOA!"

After she leapt off the yacht, she missed, and her chin hit the dock before she fell in the river.

"Really, don't get up. I'm fine." she said dully, climbing back up.

_"Let me show you what love is, let me show you how to move your body, move your body, move your-move your-move your-momomomomomomomomomo-move your body, move your-your-your-body...raise your hands up, raise your hands up-all..eyes..on..me!"_

"Hey Candice!" exclaimed Jericho. "Ready for the show?"

"Sure am! Hey guys!" she exclaimed.

*BOOM!*

_"The wonder of the world is gone now I know for sure, all the wonder that I want I've found in her, as a whole becomes a part I strike to burn, and the flame returns..."_

Everyone was dead silent.

"Kane, n-nice to see you around." Jericho said shakily.

"I don't want to be here right now." he whispered darkly.

"I-I'm sorry, Kane, but I really can't do anything about that." he stuttered.

He just stared at him. "Fine." he replied.

"Well, things can't get any worse, mon." replied Kofi.

*DONG*

"Spoke too soon, mon-man." said Triple H.

10 min later...

"Undertaker. H-Hey!" Jericho stuttered again.

He just glared at him, rolled his eyes in the back of his head, and went to join Kane in a corner.

"All right, I think that's everyone-" started Jericho.

"I don't think so." called a voice.

"It's him." Matt said nervously.

Then, the ground started shaking as Big Daddy V arrived last.

"I'm on the list, too." he replied.

"Ok, now that everyone's here, welcome! I'm your host, the Madonna of Sports entertainment, the ayatollah of rock and-" he started.

"Oh, shut up." muttered Randy.

"Anyway, welcome to a little place I call, Total WWE Island! Now before I do anything else, I need to take a pic of you guys to show McMahon I actually decided to do this. Everyone, down to the docks!" he announced.

Everyone got together and posed. Some looked happy, while others looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.

"All right 1,2...hold it, I forgot the lens. Ok, 1,2...crap! Wrong button." Jericho muttered.

"Will you move it? I'm not getting any younger!" cried Melina.

"1...2...3!"

*CRASH!*

Everyone got too heavy for the boardwalk and crashed into the ocean.

"Ok, gang. I've got the 24 of you here to compete for a special prize." said Jericho.

"World Heavyweight Championship?" asked Cena.

"No. Now I-"

"US Championship?" asked Matt.

"No. Now-"

"Women's Championship?" asked the Glamazon.

"Will you let me finish?" he demanded. "Now, the 24 of you won't be competing together, because I've split you up into two separate teams."

"This better be good, damn it." muttered Batista.

"Ok, when I call your name, stand over here. Batista, John Cena, Randy Orton, CM Punk, Santino Marella, Shawn Michaels, Mickie James, Maria, Melina, the Glamazon, Big Daddy V, and Kane."

"But...what about Matt?" asked Mickie.

"Sorry Micks. You'll have to face a little separation in life." Jericho replied.

"No! I want my boyfriend with me!" she cried.

"Come on, Jericho, let us be on the same team." Matt assured.

"All teams are final, sorry." he replied.

"Matt!" she cried.

"Don't worry, babe. I'll make sure we find a way to see each other." he replied.

"Ok then. Now, you're officially Team Raw!" he announced.

"Whoo!" some of them cheered.

"Now the rest of you guys, Triple H, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, JBL, Kofi Kingston, Edge, Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, Maryse, Natalya, Candice, and Undertaker, you're officially Team SmackDown!"

"I'm glad we're on the same team, Jeff." Kelly said, still blushing.

"I'm glad, too. I just wish I could say the same for Matt and Mickie." Jeff agreed.

"I can't believe this." Matt muttered to himself.

"I know how you feel, Matt." said Michelle.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Someone special to me is on the other team, too." she answered, gazing towards CM Punk.

"Now, here's how things work around here. Both teams will be competing in various events, called by me, of course. One event a week. Whichever team loses comes with me to the Campfire of Truth." he explained.

"Campfire of Truth." scoffed Triple H.

"When we're there, they'll be smores for you, but only enough for everyone except one person. During your time there, you'll each vote on who you want off the show. The one guy or girl who doesn't receive a smore and gets the most amount of votes is the one who's eliminated, and takes the dreaded walk of shame. Got it?"

"Yeah, whatever." muttered some voices.

"Also, each team'll get their own campsite, complete with your own hidden camera room to dish out on whatever you want." Jericho continued.

"You mean that outhouse?" pointed out Cena.

"Hidden Camera room!" he cried back. "So, those are the rules. Now we'll begin the first challenge...right now."

A few minutes later, both teams arrived at the edge of this 1000 ft cliff...

"Ok, gang, this is your first challenge - The Death Drop." announced Jericho.

"I like it already." Undertaker said with a twisted smile.

"I second that." agreed Kane.

"O-Ok. Now here's how it works: Each one of you will jump off this cliff and your goal is to land in that itty bitty target down there. Sounds easy, right? Well, there are also man-eating sharks down there, so you need to swim back to shore before...well, you know." he explained.

"That's insane! I'm not doing that!" exclaimed Melina.

"Fine. Then you'll just be costing your team the win. You see, the less people who go, the less of a chance there'll be of your team winning. And whoever doesn't land in the target loses, too." he finished.

-Hidden Camera-

Melina: "Too many damn rules, I tell you! I say I get the rest of the team to push Jericho off the cliff and then we'll be the ones laughing."

-Back Outside-

"All right, Team Raw's up first. Any volunteers?"

Silence.

"Fine, I'll choose. Randy, you're up." Jericho said, eying him.

"All right. I'll show you all how a true champion prevails." he replied, jumping off.

"Good riddance." muttered Triple H.

He landed in the water with a splash, right in target's reach, but then he saw the sharks headed towards him. He swam as fast as he could and reached shore in record time.

"Let's see you losers beat that!" he called to everyone else.

"What a show-off! That's it, I'm comin' in next!" exclaimed CM Punk.

"No, man, I'm goin in next!" replied Batista.

"The Champ is goin' in next!" exclaimed Cena.

"Guys! One at a time!" cried Jericho.

Instead of listening to him, the three guys jumped in at the same time.

"Now wait-a a minute!" cried Santino. "The REAL-a champion is-a right here! And I'm-a gonna prove all of you wrong! Geronimooooooooo!" he cried, jumping in next.

"That's my boy." the Glamazon called to him.

The four guys totally forgot the rules and just held their own race to see who could get there first and beat Orton's time.

"OOWWWIE!" cried Santino. "A shark-a bit my tushie!"

"I DID IT!" cried CM Punk. "I knew I was gonna win!"

"What, did that water get to your brain? I got here first!" exclaimed Batista.

"You both got water in your brains? Me, Cena, won this race!" he cried.

"Hahahahahaha! You're all so pathetic, you make me laugh!" interrupted Randy.

"A shark-a bit my tushie!" Santino cried again.

"Tino!" cried the Glamazon.

While he kept whining, Randy decided to RKO his teammates, while Batista powerbombed them, CM Punk GTS'd them, and Cena applied the STFU.

"Unbelievable." muttered Jericho.

"I'd hate to say it, but we lost...miserably." Maria told Mickie.

Then, while Jericho had his back turned, Shawn was about to shove him in the water, but the girls stopped him.

"Shawn, don't do it!" called Mickie.

"Why not?" he asked.

"If you do anything to him, you'll risk yourself being eliminated." answered Maria.

"True. But if I push him and run away, no one'll know." he said with a smirk. "Mickie, he separated you and Matt, remember?"

"Yeah. YEAH! Let's make him pay!" she exclaimed.

They shoved Jericho, but instead of falling in the water, he bumped into Kane, who bumped into Big Daddy V, who bumped into the Glamazon, who then bumped into Melina.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the girls screamed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kane laughed evily.

"The V man is comin' so watch so watch your back!" he called out.

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Jericho.

The sharks looked terrified and swam away as fast as they could.

*SPLASH!*

"Whoever did this is gonna pay!" cried Jericho.

"Uh oh, he's onto us. RUN, GIRLS!" Shawn cried, dragging them along.

"Hey! The water's missing!" cried Melina.

"It's not missing, Big Daddy V absorbed it all!" exclaimed Jericho.

"My-a tushie!" Santino kept whining.

"Tino!" cried the Glamazon.

After Team Raw made it back in one piece, it was Team SmackDown's turn...

"All right, let's try and forget that happened." Jericho said, still soaking wet. "Kelly Kelly, you're up first."

"Me? I-I don't know. It looks like a really long fall." she said nervously.

"Don't be afraid, Kel." said Michelle.

"Yeah, just remember to do it for the team." added Candice.

"I can't! I'm afraid of heights!" she replied.

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll go with you." Jeff replied with a smile.

Then, she said nothing, daydreaming about him emerging from an ocean on the beach, his chiseled body gleaming in the sunlight and-

"Kelly?" he asked, snapping her out of it.

"Oh! Huh?" she asked.

"I'll jump with you if It'll make you feel better." he replied.

"You will? That'd make me feel a lot better." she said, blushing again. "Chris, can he please come with me?"

"Well, the rules say one at a time." he replied.

Then, he caught Undertaker glaring down at him again, as if he were defending them.

"Then again, suit yourself." he said quickly.

"Awesome!" she cried. "You ready?"

Jeff took her hand. "Ready if you are." he said with a smile.

Then, the two jumped off the cliff and landed with a huge splash.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they both cried.

"Holy crud, that was insane!" Kelly cried in excitement.

"Totally insane!" agreed Jeff.

Then, they looked in each other's eyes and leaned in for-

"Uh, lovebirds? This is a CONTEST! Hurry up before you cost your team the win!" called Jericho.

"Come on, Kel. Let's go before those sharks bite our asses off." he told his friend.

Kelly Kelly giggled and followed him back to shore.

"Well, looks like your bro found himself a new girlfriend." Triple H told Matt.

"He probably wouldn't admit it, but I think you're right. Every time they look at each other, they turn all red." he agreed.

Then out of nowhere, Edge came from behind and shoved the two off of the cliff. "You guys wanna fly? Hahahahahaha!" he laughed.

"You better not be up there when we get back because you're dead!..." Triple H cried as they fell.

"Yeah! Yeah, sure! Hahahaha-OH!" Edge cried as Kofi attacked him.

"You're a twisted man, mon! And I'ma gonna be here to stop it!" he exclaimed.

"Well, they call you the Angry Jamaican, right? Well, I'd like to see you even angrier after THIS!" he cried, shoving him off the cliff next.

Then, when he turned around, he caught Undertaker staring down at him.

"Now Taker, you have nothing to do with this, all right? No hard feelings?" asked Edge.

Instead of an answer, Undertaker charged towards him, but before he could attack, Edge tripped him, causing him to fall next.

"Edge, you can't do that!" exclaimed Jericho.

"I can do whatever the hell I want!" he cried back.

Then, he heard Orton clapping for him in the background. He smiled as if to say 'Finish them all!'

Edge nodded back and targeted the girls.

"I'd love to shove you down that cliff." Maryse told Michelle.

"All right, listen here, you spoiled little bitch, you've been ticking me off me off since the moment you got here, and I'm not gonna let whatever you say out of those pieces of plastic you call lips bother me!" she snapped.

"Plastic?" screamed Maryse. "Come here!"

Then, the girls pulled each other's hair, and fought each other right off the cliff.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!..." they screamed.

"Michelle!" called Candice. "Look what your bitch of a friend started!"

"MY friend's a bitch?" exclaimed Natalya.

"You want to start something, too?" Candice exclaimed.

"Girls, knock it off!" cried Jericho.

"BUTT OUT!" they screamed, shoving him down the cliff.

Then, the girls fought themselves off the cliff, too!

"Wow! That worked out well!" Edge said happily.

Then, he caught JBL typing something on his laptop.

"JBL? Where the hell did you get that from?" he asked him.

"None of your damn business! Now let me make my billions of dollars a minute in peace!" he exclaimed.

Then, he grabbed the laptop, tossed it into the ocean, and pushed JBL off while he yelled, "You son of a bitch...!"

"My work here is done." Edge said proudly.

"I'm impressed, man. Hey, who gives a damn we're on different teams? Let's team up, you know, like old times." said Orton.

"Rated RKO. Good plan, Rand. We can really mess things up around here!" he agreed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" they both laughed.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Get ready, bitches, cause Rated RKO is back in business! If anyone else expected a pleasant trip, oh, they've got another thing coming!"


	2. Episode 2

Total WWE Island - Welcome To TWI, pt.2

Episode 2

After that failed contest, both teams met up with Jericho back at the camp's 'auditorium'...

"Well, after seeing how you all failed at that first contest, there obviously aren't gonna be any winners. So, I'm gonna think up another plan-I mean contest for you guys. And while I do that, you all get to go have a delicious lunch cooked by someone we all know very well." Jericho said with an evil smile. "Have fun."

A few minutes later, everyone crowded up the cafeteria, ready to meet their new chef...

"Well, at least lunch won't be so bad." said Candice.

Then, a huge hand released a clump of some mushy brown stuff on her tray.

"Ugh." she muttered.

"Yum!" exclaimed Maria.

"Uh, what the hell is this stuff?" asked Batista.

Then, Big Show stuck his head out and said, "Is there anything wrong?"

"Yeah. Why are you serving us crap?" Edge asked rudely.

Then, Big Show dumped a whole pot of the stuff on top of Edge's head. The entire lunchroom laughed hysterically.

"Grrrrrr!" he growled, walking away.

While on line, CM Punk accidentally bumped into Michelle.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Michelle. You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine." she replied, blushing.

"You wanna join Cena, Maria, Candice and I at our table? I saved you a spot." he said.

"Really? Sure!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, Michelle!" called a voice.

She and Punk turned around to find Matt, Mickie, Jeff, and Kelly waving towards her.

"We saved you a seat!" called Mickie.

"Oh, ok!" she called back. "Man, I don't know who to sit with."

"You can go with them if you want. It's all right." replied Punk.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'll see you later, then." he said, heading back to his table.

As she headed with her friends, she still had a distracted look on her face.

"Michelle? You ok?" asked Jeff.

"Oh! Yeah, I was just distracted for a sec." she replied.

"To him?" Kelly asked, pointing towards Punk.

"That obvious, huh?" she asked.

"If you really have a thing for him, why won't you just say something?" asked Matt. "Who knows? Maybe he has the same feelings for you."

"Two reasons: One, we're on different teams, and two, I can't just go up to him and say, 'Hi, I just realized that I have a huge crush on you. Wanna date?' " she explained.

"Sure, baby." said a voice.

Everyone whipped around to see Big Daddy V behind them.

"When you're with Big Vis, the lovin' never ends." he said with a creepy smile.

"Ehhhh…." Mickie shuddered, slowly inching away.

"Just when I thought my lunch was gross." Jeff said, wincing at him.

At another table, Batista, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Kofi Kingston witnessed just how close Glamarella were...

"I'd rather wolf down spoiled eggnog than this crap." Triple H said dully.

"Keep it down, Hunter. Jericho might be around and we don't want to give him any ideas." replied Shawn.

"Excellent! This-a stuff will-a give me the power of-a 100 men!" Santino said happily.

Before he ate, the Glamazon said, "No, Tino. This needs to be pre-chewed so you don't wear out that cute little mouth of yours."

Then, to everyone's surprise, she gulped down the stuff, chewed it up, and then spit it back on his plate.

"There you go." she said with a smile.

The four guys just stared at them.

And if things couldn't get any worse, he happily wolfed down the stuff.

"Oh no! That ain't right, mon!" exclaimed Kofi.

Batista's sunglasses leaned to the edge of his nose while his eyes bugged out.

Triple H turned green and Shawn just glared with a glazed look in his eyes.

"Another table, men?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah-uh huh-let's get out of here, mon!" they all agreed, leaving the couple behind.

"Fine! We're better off on our own, anyway!" The Glamazon called back.

Meanwhile, Santino finished up the rest of his meal. "More, please!" he exclaimed.

At another table, Kane and Undertaker ate their lunch in of course, a dark corner...

"I don't know why everyone hates this stuff." said Taker. "This crud's pretty damn good."

"Probably the only good thing in this whole damn camp." agreed Kane. "Except for that death drop."

"I would've liked it more if there were flames down the bottom. I'd basically be doing my job. Sending people to hell." he replied.

Then, JBL came to their table and said, "As much as I'd hate to ask, do you have an extra seat?"

The brothers of destruction glared at him.

JBL stared back.

They kept staring at him.

"Never mind, damn it!" he exclaimed angrily.

"Should've dumped this stuff down his pants." Kane muttered.

While JBL tried to find another table, he bumped into Randy and Edge.

"Layfield. Seems like you have no place to sit." said Randy. "Would you like to join Edge and I?"

"I really don't give a damn about your little posse. So it'd be best if you'd both get the hell outta my way." he snorted.

"Ooh, touchy, touchy. Why do you think he's so grumpy?" Edge asked sarcastically.

"Golly, I don't know. Maybe it's because he's all alone with no friends. Is that true, JBL? Are you alone?" Randy asked with an evil smile.

"I don't need any friends here. I only came here to win that prize all on my own. And you two clowns won't do a thing to stop me." JBL replied.

"Clowns? Harsh." replied Edge. "Rand, let's show JBL here how we take care of business."

"Yes, we could. And we should. Follow us into our office." said Randy.

"What office? What the hell are you idiots yapping about now?" JBL asked, being shoved outside.

Then...

*Punches being thrown, guys yelling, hell breaking loose*

Edge and Randy came back inside without JBL.

"I think he knows now." Randy said, satisfied.

"Oh, he knows very well. Let's be on our way, Rand." agreed Edge.

Then, a brutally beaten up JBL followed them inside.

-Hidden Camera-

JBL: "What the hell was that? I just got my ass kicked by two dumb clowns! I'm John Bradshaw Layfield, one of the greatest wrestlers in this whole wide world. Those guys have absolutely no respect for their better. In fact, I've got a little story to tell you-*buzz out* "

-Back Outside-

Melina, Natalya, and Maryse were chatting away at their table...

"Hey, girls. It seems like we're, you know, the best ones here, and I say we stick together. Who knows what can happen around here?" asked Melina.

"Good plan. I mean, if we stick together, we can gang up on those goody-two shoe wannabe divas." agreed Natalya. "I'd take on Maria in a second."

"I want a rematch with that Michelle." scoffed Maryse.

"And Mickie and I have a history of feuding with each other." added Melina.

"I see, but Maryse, you and Michelle are on the same team, and so are you and Mickie, Melina. We're all supposed to 'work together'." Natalya said with a laugh.

"Yes, but you know that old saying, 'Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer'. If Randy and Edge are teaming up, then so can we." Maryse said with an evil smile.

-Hidden Camera-

Natalya: "Listen up, everyone who's watching this. Edge and Randy aren't the only baddies around here. Starting today, the Divas Of Evil will rise, and the goodness of the sweet little divas will crash and burn. We'd recruit the Glamazon, too, but she's too involved with Tino. The point is, Maria, Candice, Kelly, Michelle, and Mickie, just a warning - watch out."

-Back Outside-

"_Attention campers!"_ Jericho called on the loudspeaker. _"Get back into your teams and meet me back at the auditorium for your next challenge!...That will be all."_

A few minutes later, everyone met up with Jericho at the auditorium...

"Ok, since the last contest was a disaster, I thought of a new one. Here's the deal: We're gonna play a little game of football." he announced.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Cena. "Let's get going! Team Raw's gonna dominate!"

"Whoa, whoa! Hold on a sec. This isn't just a regular game of football. It's...extreme football." Chris said with another evil smile.

"So...?" asked Melina.

"This game is not going to be on a regular grass field, but a field surrounded by scorching hot flames!"

Kane and Undertaker got excited.

"Wow, the guy's got some brains after all." said Kane.

"And all this time I thought he was a useless flop." agreed Taker.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" exclaimed Randy.

"That's it." Triple H said, ready to attack him.

"No, just keep your cool." Shawn said, holding him back.

"You expect us to risk burning ourselves to death playing football?" Orton continued.

"It kills me to say this, buy Orton's right." agreed CM Punk. "Are you crazy, Jericho?"

"Did I forget to mention the winner of this entire program wins $500,000? You still want to argue with me?" asked Jericho.

"Hot damn, $500 grand! Let's get on the field, ladies and gentlemen." Batista said quickly.

Soon enough, the players were on the field.

Batista, John Cena, Randy Orton, CM Punk, and Santino were representing Team Raw.

Triple H, the Hardys, Kofi, and JBL were representing Team Smackdown.

Jericho blew the whistle. "LET THE FLAMES-I MEAN GAMES BEGIN!"

"5, 19, 68, 23, hut hut!" called Triple H.

He threw the ball towards Kofi, who ran like the wind. While he ran, Santino was hot on his trail, until Kofi passed the ball to Matt. Matt caught it just before it went towards the blaze, and he sped past Batista, Cena, and Orton. Just when Orton tackled him, Matt threw the ball towards Jeff, and he caught it just in time. He ran past everyone, and scored a touchdown!

"WHOOO!" cheered Team Smackdown.

"Great job, man." Matt told his brother.

"Thanks. You too, bro." he replied.

"Good job, guys." said Triple H. "If we keep this up, we'll beat those guys to a pulp."

"Hello? JBL didn't get any play time in this!" he exclaimed angrily. "You all should know that I'm one of the greatest-"

Everyone set up for the next play.

"Aw, hell!" JBL exclaimed.

"44, 35, 9, 23, hut hut!" called John.

The guys tackled each other, until CM Punk got a hold of the ball first. He was in easy reach of the goal, but someone sideswiped him and stole the ball from him.

"What the hell?" he demanded.

Orton sped away with the ball, dodged everyone in sight, and made an easy touchdown.

"What the hell was that, man?" Punk demanded angrily.

"What? I scored the touchdown, it's my win! You don't like it, tough!" he replied.

CM Punk was at the point of shoving Orton in the blaze, but the others held him back.

"Orton, you're outta line here! We're supposed to be a team, remember?" Cena demanded.

"Yeah, it's not all about you, all right?" agreed Batista.

While they were arguing, Santino grabbed the ball on the ground and made his own touchdown.

"YES! I am-a the champ! All will-a fear me! Santino Marella!" he cried.

The others just looked at him like he was crazy.

"That's my Tino!" the Glamazon cried happily.

Round 2

"Ok, people, switch players! And one little tip - I put the flames here for a reason. USE THEM!" Jericho cried out.

Representing Team Raw this time was Shawn, Kane, Mickie, Maria, Melina, and the Glamazon, and representing Team Smackdown was Edge, Undertaker, Kelly Kelly, Michelle, Maryse, and Natalya.

"Remember, people, only girls tackle the girls and guys tackle the guys, you know the drill." Shawn announced.

"I can tackle whoever I want! I'm the Glamazon, remember?" she asked.

"Aw, we know that already! You don't have to announce yourself every five minutes!" exclaimed Edge.

"Hmph!" she scoffed.

"15, 72, 45, hut hut!" called Shawn, throwing the ball towards Mickie. She ran as fast as she could, but Melina came from behind and purposely shoved her towards the flames.

"Mickie!" called Matt. "You all right?"

She quickly got up. "I'm fine!" she called back. Then, she still had the ball and tossed it to Maria.

"Which way do I go?" she exclaimed.

Edge purposely turned her in Team Raw's goal's direction, but Shawn shoved him away and turned her in the right direction. "That way." he told her.

"Oh. Awesome!" she cheered happily. She sped quickly, but when she was about to make a touchdown, Michelle swiped the ball from her. "Sorry, Maria!" she called.

"No problem!" she called back with a smile.

Michelle sped towards her goal, but Kelly caught Maryse headed for her. She ran and tackled her just in time for Michelle to make the touchdown!

"Why did you do that, Blondie?" demanded Maryse.

"Uh, we're supposed to be on the same team? Why'd you try to stop her?" Kelly demanded.

"Let me tell you, then. I don't like her, and she doesn't like me. You got that?" she asked.

"Melina, any reason why you tried to burn me out there?" Mickie asked angrily.

"Now, why would I ever do a thing like that? You just tripped." she said with a smirk.

"Oh, I'll show you 'just tripped'!" she cried, tackling her to the ground.

"Girls, girls, break it up!" exclaimed Shawn.

After he broke them up, Melina decided to sit out, while Big Daddy V stepped in for her.

-Hidden Camera-

Mickie: "That Melina is such a bitch! If she thinks that she's gonna derail me in any way, oh, she's got a whole nother thing coming!"

Melina: "Mickie, you decide to attack me? You're lucky I didn't push you right in the blaze! You should thank me for that! Just wait until the next contest."

Kelly: "The nerve of that Maryse trying to sabotage her own team member! I'm glad I stopped her when I could!"

Maryse: "Kelly Kelly, you stay out of this, all right? This is between Michelle and I!"

-Back Outside-

On Smackdown's team, Michelle decided to sit out, while Candice stepped in for her.

"2, 87, 49, hut hut!" exclaimed Edge.

Instead of throwing the ball, Edge decided to make the touchdown on his own. "Try and catch me, oh, that's right, you can't!" he exclaimed. He sped as fast as he could, but before he made the touchdown, Shawn tackled him, and ran off in the other direction with the ball. When he was at the goalpost, Candice swiped the ball from him. "Nice try, Shawn!" she said politely.

He was still stunned. "Thanks, Candy." he said wearily.

While she ran with the ball, she almost made a touchdown when the Glamazon snatched the ball from her. "Haha! It's my turn, princess!" she called.

"That's-a my woman! You have-a all-a witnessed greatness!" called Santino.

Batista dumped a soda on his head to shut him up.

While she was on her way to a touchdown, Maria jumped in and finished the job. "My turn, thank you very much." she called. While she ran, Big Daddy V was in her way, so she decided to toss the ball to him.

He tried to run, but after a few steps, he fell down with an earthquake erupting thump.

The ball flew out of his hands and Natalya caught it. "It's time for this third generation girl to make the win!" she said with an evil laugh. She ran, but Undertaker stood in her way. "Y-You can have it, I guess." she said quickly.

Instead of running towards the goal, he tossed it to Kane, who was standing who was standing right by the flames, and...

"Undertaker!" his team cried in shock.

"Kane, don't do it!" exclaimed Shawn.

He put on his regular creepy smile, and tossed the football right in the burning flames.

Everyone groaned.

"Game over." Jericho announced.

Later, everyone went back to their campsites after their game...

"Kane! Why the hell did you do that? You just ruined the game for us!" exclaimed Cena.

"I know. Hahahahahahaha..." he said, going off alone.

Meanwhile, CM Punk was still pissed off with Orton, so he hung out in his team's bunk room while Michelle came in.

"Hey." she greeted.

"Hey, Michelle." he replied.

"I'm sorry about what happened out there. Orton was way out of line." she said.

"You're damn right, he was way outta line! First, he sabotages me during Unforgiven, then he sabotages me in football! I was this close to shoving him in those flames." he said angrily.

"Wow. Isn't that a little harsh?" she asked.

He looked at her. "A little harsh? A little harsh? Michelle, I just told you everything he did to me! What, are you on his side now?" he demanded angrily.

Michelle looked hurt. "No! I-I'd never-" she began.

"I can't talk to anyone who agrees with him. Maybe it's time to get back to your own campsite." he replied.

Tears formed in her eyes. "Fine. I just came to keep you some company as a friend, but I guess you want to be alone. I won't bother you anymore!" she cried, running off in tears.

"No. Michelle, wait!" he called back. "Damn." he said in despair.

In another part of camp Raw...

"That was some game, eh, Batista?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah, until the brothers of destruction ruined it all. Is Punk all right? I'd be angry too after what Orton did." he replied.

"Just give him some time. But we're in trouble, too. Our team lost the first contest, so we have to eliminate someone tonight. And aside from that, most of our team members are fighting each other anyway!" HBK exclaimed.

"Mickie vs. Melina, Glamarella or whatever you call them are totally in their own world, I don't even want to mention Kane, and it's most of the team against Orton. I don't know how we're gonna make a comeback." agreed Batista.

"Well, it's only the first day. Maybe things'll change...I hope." he replied.

In the girls' bunk house, tensions were heating up...

"You're such a bitch, Melina. Why can't you just play fair like everyone else?" Mickie asked angrily.

"I don't do fair, all right, missy? Why do you have to be all goody-goody like your boyfriend on the other team?" she asked.

"At least I HAVE a boyfriend." she said with a smile.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" demanded Melina.

"You've had about 7 guys and you got dumped one way or another." she answered.

"So? It never worked out, all right? The same thing's gonna happen between you and Matt, anyway."

"Hey, you have no say in my love life! Matt and I may have a few arguments here and there, but we'll never break up." she replied.

"Well, look who always gets the happy endings." Melina muttered, climbing into her bed.

"Melina, what's going on with you?" asked Maria. "Are you jealous or something?"

"What makes you think that?" she mumbled.

"It's Morrison, isn't it?" she asked.

"Let's just drop it, all right?" she said angrily.

"What happened?" asked the Glamazon.

"You all really wanna know? Well, he was the last guy I dated, and I seriously, honest to God fell in love with him. I knew the feeling was mutual, but one day I caught him kissing Torrie Wilson. He tried to make up an excuse, but I couldn't listen. So, I had to let him go." she said, tears forming in her eyes. "You understand now?"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Melina." Maria said sadly.

"Wow, I didn't know that. Harsh." added the Glamazon.

"Melina, listen. I really don't want to fight with anyone here. Can't we just forget our feud and just be a team again?" Mickie asked sincerely.

She looked at her and then nodded her head. "All right. I'm sorry I almost shoved you in the fire." she apologized.

"And I'm sorry I tackled you earlier." she apologized back.

While the girls hugged, Maria said, "Aww! This is great! Now we've got our team back!" she exclaimed.

"Well, not exactly." said the Glamazon. "What are we gonna do about that jerk, Orton? He's gonna end up tearing this team apart so he can win the $500 grand on his own."

"Yeah, he's our biggest problem. Well, elimination time's tonight, so, I'm guessing everyone else is gonna vote him off." said Melina. "Then we can celebrate as long as we want!"

Back at Team Smackdown's campsite, CM Punk caught up with Michelle to apologize to her...

Tears came down her face as she hung out in her team's bunk room.

"Michelle!" he called.

She looked up.

"Listen, I'm so sorry I yelled at you like that. I was just pissed off at Orton. I didn't mean to take it out on you, honest." he said sincerely.

"It's all right. So, are we still friends?" she asked.

"Of course! In fact, let's just hang out. Just the two of us." he replied.

Michelle brightened up. "I'd love that! But your team has to go to the Campfire of Truth soon."

"That's all right. Hopefully I won't get eliminated, and afterwards we'll hang out. Sound good to you?" asked Punk.

"Sounds perfect. And I hope you don't get eliminated either. I'd really miss you." she replied.

"I'd really miss you, too. But count on it, with Orton on our team, I can pretty much guarantee I'm not goin' anywhere." he smiled as he went to join his team.

Michelle smiled back and sighed in relief.

Later, Team Raw sent in their votes on who should leave. Would this elimination be a shocker?

"All right, Team Raw. Welcome to the Campfire of Truth. I know this isn't a fun place to be, but it is when you got smores! Now, there are 12 of you here, and only 11 smores. Like I mentioned before, the person who doesn't get the last smore is the loser and takes that dreaded walk of shame to the yacht of suckers, haha." Jericho laughed. "Now, before we get to the results, let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave the island."

-Hidden Camera-

Batista: "Well, the obvious choice is Orton."

John: "If Orton doesn't go, we're screwed."

Randy: "Hell, I'd like everyone on this team to go, but since I can only choose one, I pick Kane because he destroyed a genuine football!"

Punk: "I swear, if Orton stays, all hell is gonna break loose."

Santino: "That shell of a man, Randy Orton! He disgraced-a my woman and I and I'm not-a taking that sitting down!"

Shawn: "Orton, of course. You want the world to end if he stays?"

Mickie: "Orton better go. He's such a jerk."

Maria: "Ooh, I hope my hair looks good. Anyways, everyone else is saying Orton, so I'll agree. He's so mean!"

Melina: "I'd say Orton, too. And it's too bad because I like the bad type."

The Glamazon: "After what he did to me and Tino, Orton better leave!"

Big Daddy V: "Orton's cramping up my style."

Kane: "I...really...don't...care."

-Back Outside-

"Well, I've tallied up the votes and here we go. When I call your name, come up and grab a smore." said Jericho. "Maria."

"Yay!" she cheered.

"Yeah, baby!" cheered Cena.

Shawn slapped him on the back of his head. "Dummy." he muttered.

"Santino."

"Thank you-a thank you very much!" he cheered.

"Mickie."

"Awesome!" she cheered.

"Batista."

"Good enough." he said contently.

"Punk."

"Sweet!" he cheered.

"Melina."

"Great, now move it, Jericho." she scoffed.

"Touchy! Cena."

"The champ...is..heeeerrreee!" he cheered.

"The Glamazon."

"Of course! Glamarella stays together." she replied.

"Shawn."

"Whoo! I thought you'd never call my name." he replied.

"Big Daddy V."

"If that means Big Vis gets to hang out with the ladies, I'm all good." he replied.

"Ugh." the girls said.

"Now, Kane, and Randy. One of you stays, and one of you takes the walk of shame." said Jericho. "Now I'll reveal who gets the last smore. And that person is..."

Everyone looked on anxiously as their wish was about to come true.

Kane looked emotionless, while Randy looked totally serious.

"Randy Orton?" Jericho said in surprise.

Everyone looked shocked and some were more pissed off than ever.

Even Kane looked a little surprised.

"YES! I knew it!" Randy cheered happily.

-Hidden Camera-

Punk: "Get the (bleep) outta here! Something's rigged here, I know it!"

-Back outside-

"I'm sorry, Kane, but you've been eliminated. It's time for the walk of shame." said Jericho.

"But...I've learned to like it here." he said creepily.

"Yeah...well, time to go!" he exclaimed.

He glared at him and back at his team. "Fine." he muttered as he left for the yacht.

"Well, team, now you know how elimination works. I'll leave you all here to talk about what happened. See you tomorrow!" Jericho said, leaving.

"I-I can't believe this." Shawn said in shock. "How?"

"Yeah, how? How in the hell could you still be here, Orton? After we all voted you off?" demanded Punk. "We all did vote him off, right?"

They all agreed.

"Hey, we all can't get what we want, now can we? Like it or not, I'm gonna be here to stay. And I'll make sure we'll all have a little fun." Orton said with an evil smile. "Hahahahahahahaha!"

Team Raw just glared at him in shock and anger.


	3. Episode 3

Total WWE Island: Sleep No More

Episode 3

"Hey, everyone! What a shocker last week's episode was! Teams Raw and Smackdown were formed, and that didn't go exactly well with everyone. The first contest proved to be a flop when both teams miserably failed the Death Drop challenge. Also, looks like Jeff and Kelly Kelly have a thing for each other, but will they admit it? Michelle and Maryse catfighted ever since the show started, and Randy and Edge teaming up? They make their first move by attacking JBL and they've just started. Natalya, Melina, and Maryse also started an alliance, called the Divas Of Evil, but will they beat the force that is Rated RKO? Later that day, both teams faced of in an exciting game of extreme football, where fights broke out among team members, and hell broke loose. Also, Michelle scored a night out with Punk, and Mickie and Melina, friends? And the biggest shock of them all: Kane gets eliminated when everyone thought it was supposed to be Randy! Will something spark between Michelle and Punk and Jeff and Kelly? Will Melina join the good and dismember the Divas Of Evil? And will the Age of Rated RKO begin once again? Find out on another shocking episode of Total...WWE...Island!"

* * *

The next morning, Triple H came back to Team Smackdown with the news from last night...

"Hey, you guys. I just found out who got eliminated from Raw's team!" he exclaimed.

"It was Randy, right?" asked Candice.

"Nope. It was Kane." he replied.

The team exchanged shocked glances, and then everyone looked at Undertaker, who looked surprised.

"Why?" he asked darkly.

"I have no idea. But everyone on Raw's pissed off." he replied.

"I just don't understand why Randy didn't get eliminated." said Matt. "I'm sure everyone on his team voted him off."

"Unless he rigged the votes!" exclaimed Michelle. "I mean, if EVERYONE voted Randy off, how could Kane go instead? It just isn't right!"

"I know it isn't right, but it's an advantage for our team. We're winning, at least!" Triple H said, trying to cheer everyone up. "Randy's their problem, not ours."

Edge said nothing and just smiled evilly. _"Randy's not the only problem around here."_ he thought.

Back on Team Raw, Randy separated himself from the rest of his team...

"He had to have rigged the votes! We all voted for him to go, and Kane goes instead?" CM Punk said angrily.

"I say we get some answers out of him." suggested Mickie.

"She's right. If we don't do something about him, this team's gonna crash and burn." agreed Batista.

But before anyone could do anything, Jericho's voice appeared on the loudspeaker.

_"Attention, campers! Please go to the auditorium for your next challenge! That will be all."_ he said.

"Uh oh. Can't wait to see what this one is." Melina said dully.

Soon, everyone made it to the auditorium for Jericho's next challenge...

"Good morning, campers! I really hope you had a good night's rest because this next challenge is really gonna test you." he said.

"We're gonna take a test? Aw, I hate tests!" cried Maria.

"Airhead." muttered Natalya.

"No, no. Your next challenge is called, Don't GTS or fail." he continued.

"Why'd you name a contest out of one of my moves?" Punk demanded.

"It works, doesn't it? Anyway, from now until this time tomorrow, you all have to do something, anything to keep you awake. If you fall asleep, your team has less of a chance at winning. Whichever team member's the last one awake, wins for their team. That's about it. Any questions?" asked Jericho.

"Yeah. Where the hell do you come up with this stuff?" demanded Cena.

"The less you know, Cena...the better." he replied slyly. "Let the games begin! Your time starts...now!"

"Well, we're gonna be here for a while. You think we're gonna make it until tomorrow?" Kelly Kelly asked Jeff.

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea. But we can at least keep each other entertained. What do you think?" he asked.

"Works for me." she replied, looking into his eyes.

"Sweet!" he replied, looking into her eyes.

Then, like last time, they both leaned in for-

"Hey, guys! Whatcha up to?" Edge asked.

Annoyed, they both glared back at him.

"Edge, do you mind?" Jeff demanded.

"Mind what?" he asked with a smile.

"We were kinda having a moment here." Kelly replied.

"Well, I'm bored, so I'm hanging out with you two. So, what were you talking about?" he asked.

Jeff just rolled his eyes and Kelly sighed in despair.

Menawhile, Maryse and Natalya watched as Mickie and Melina were chatting away like BFF's on Team Raw.

"What the hell's going on over there? Why is Melina even talking to her?" Natalya demanded.

"Yeah, it looks like they're best friends or something." agreed Maryse. "Makes me sick!"

"This whole Divas of Evil thing was her idea to begin with, and now she's abandoning us?" she replied.

"True, but remember what I said earlier. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." she said with a smile.

Natalya joined along. "That's right. She's just playing around with that little princess. Great job, Melina. Keep up the good work! Hahahahahaha!" she laughed.

Back on Team Raw...

"Attention, attention, everyone!" called Santino. "If we're all-a going to have-a to stay awake until tomorrow, then I, Santino Marella should keep you all-a awake by telling you how special my-a woman, the Glamazon is!"

"What, is he trying to make us lose?" Shawn whispered to the rest of his team.

Everyone else snickered.

Then, Santino held out a small list.

"Oh, that doesn't look so bad." said Mickie.

Then, the list unraveled and rolled all the way to the ground.

"And that's not-a even half!" he exclaimed.

"Well, team, we're dead." Batista said, putting his sunglasses on.

"Number 1: She has-a the most gorgeous blonde hair around!"

"My hair's gorgeous, too." Maria said sadly. "Right?"

"Sure." agreed Punk. "I like that shade of red, anyway."

"Aw, thanks!" she replied with a smile.

"No prob." he replied back.

"Number 2: She's one of-a the most gifted fighters this-a world has ever witnessed!" he continued.

"Hey, you're a gifted fighter, too." Punk continued.

"Stop, you're making me blush!" Maria smiled.

"Number 3: She has-a the brightest eyes around!"

"Your eyes are just as gorgeous as you." Punk continued again.

"You're so sweet, Punk!" she replied, kissing him on the cheek.

Meanwhile, Cena looked at the scene in jealousy. _"Punk, what the hell are you doing? Everyone knows that I have a crush on her!"_

Hours passed by and now it was late afternoon...

Candice looked over to Team Raw and saw that Punk and Maria were flirting with each other, and she knew that Michelle had a crush on Punk.

"Hey, Candy, whatcha looking at?" she asked.

She quickly turned her head the other way. "Oh, um, just seeing if anyone from Team Raw fell asleep yet." she answered.

"Let me see." she interrupted.

"Michelle, it's all right, you don't have to-" started Candice, but Michelle saw what was really going on.

Her face fell in shock.

"Michelle..." Candice said sadly.

"I guess you didn't want me to see that." she said tearfully.

"I'm sorry." she apologized.

"No, it's not your fault. And it's not their fault, either. Maria's one of my best friends and she deserves someone. If anyone, it's my fault for even believing I had a chance with him!" she sobbed.

"Michelle, it's gonna be all right." Candice said soothingly, hugging her.

"Listen up, team. If you guys want to win this contest, I've got a surefire way to help you do that." announced Jericho. "JBL here talked it over with me and he decided to keep you all awake by telling you his life story. Enjoy." he said with a smile.

"This is a travesty, mon!" exclaimed Kofi. "None of us are gonna be able to stay awake through that!"

"I know, right? And Jericho in there's probably going to sleep his ass off the whole time!" agreed Matt.

"Haha. Now you all have no choice but to listen." JBL said. "Now it all started in a little city called New York..."

"We're doomed, you guys." Triple H told them. "My ass is falling asleep already."

While JBL droned on, Matt glanced at Mickie on the other team and waved to her.

She caught him and waved back. "I miss you." she mouthed to him.

"I miss you, too." he replied.

"Aw, you guys sharing some secret code or something?" Melina asked her.

"He just said that he misses me." she said dreamily.

"Well, just think. When and if we make it through the night, you'll get to see each other again." she replied.

"Sooner than later, l hope." Mickie agreed.

"Hey ladies. Lookin fine. You want to chat with Big Vis?" he asked.

They looked at him and scurried over to the other side.

"I think he scares me more than Undertaker." Melina replied.

"Number 45: She has-a the best fashion wardrobe any woman could ever wish-a to have!" Santino continued.

"You have the best wardrobe." CM Punk told Maria.

"Hehe. You're spoiling me!" Maria giggled. "You're just so sweet, CM."

"You're sweeter, Maria." he replied, looking into her eyes.

While John watched angrily, MIchelle looked miserable seeing her crush with another woman.

"Hey Dave?" Shawn asked him. "Dave?"

Batista rested his head on his hand, still with his sunglasses on.

"Dave, you awake?" HBK asked.

Silence.

He removed the sunglasses and saw his eyes closed.

"Aw, Dave. Why?" Shawn asked in despair. "Cena, you all right?"

"You see Punk over there trying to sweet talk my woman?" he asked.

"She's not your woman! You guys are just friends, you're not dating!" he exclaimed.

"Well, I can't make that move when she's in love with him! What do I do?" asked John.

"I wish I could help, but this is on your shoulders." HBK replied.

-Hidden Camera-

Cena: "I thought Punk and I were cool with each other! I thought he knew that I was the one with the crush on Maria! How could he do this?"

Michelle: " *sigh* I had such a good time with him last night. He actually made me believe that we actually had a chance. *sniffle* But hey, we can't all be right."

-Back Outside-

More hours passed by and now it was about 9:45 pm...

"...and the wait went on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on..." JBL continued.

Team Smackdown was losing it.

Maryse and Natalya both fell asleep.

Michelle still looked miserable while Candice kept nodding off.

Triple H slumped to the ground.

Undertaker just stood around in a dark corner (even though it was already dark).

Kofi kept spraying water on himself to keep him awake.

Matt had a distracted look on his face while he kept staring at Mickie.

Jeff and Kelly made up their own series of games to keep each other awake.

And Edge was about to nod off when suddenly a stick hit the back of his head.

"What the-" he said.

He looked back to see Randy hidden behind a tree. He summoned Edge to join him.

When JBL wasn't looking, Edge sped off to join Randy.

"Where were you, man? I couldn't find you all day!" exclaimed Edge.

"I was...thinking." he replied.

"About what?" he asked.

"About who we should get next. Or something crazy we should do."

"Ok, did you think of anything?" Edge asked. "I could use a little action right now. JBL's killing my team as we speak."

"I did. But first I'm sure you want to know how I stayed and Kane left. Don't you?" asked Randy.

"Hell yeah! How'd you do it?"

Little did they know, Matt overheard everything they were saying.

"Well, after everyone wrote down their votes, I snuck in and stole the box they were in. Yeah, I saw my name on every one of them, so I tossed those out and...redid them myself. I wrote Kane's name on all of them. It was pretty simple, actually." he explained.

"You're a genius, man!" exclaimed Edge.

"Thanks. But you gotta make sure you never tell anyone about this." he said seriously.

"You have my word." he replied, shaking his hand.

Matt looked surprised.

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "That lying, cheating, sneak! Maybe Edge can't tell anyone, but I sure as hell will! Everyone needs to know about this!"

-Back Outside-

Back on Team Raw's side, things weren't getting any better...

Big Daddy V fell asleep.

Batista was sound asleep.

Santino was still rambling on while the Glamazon looked on dreamily.

CM Punk and Maria were still flirty.

John watched them like a hawk.

And Shawn, Mickie, and Melina did their best to keep each other awake.

"Hey, Maria?" asked Punk.

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go out sometime? You know, like on a date?" he asked shyly.

_"Just say no, Maria. There's someone else out there for you."_ thought Cena.

"Sure! How about tomorrow?" she asked.

The answer hit John like a ton of bricks.

"Sounds good!" replied Punk.

"Number 110: She's absolutely a-beautiful." Santino continued.

"Uh, how about wrapping up that list about now?" Shawn asked.

"He's not done yet! the Glamazon snapped. "Continue, Tino." she said sweetly.

HBK slumped in his seat.

"Number 111: She's one of the a-most powerful women on this earth!"

Her expression turned angry. "One of?" she demanded.

"Yes, you know, there are other powerful women around." he explained.

Then, she grabbed the collar on his shirt. "You want to repeat that?" she said through clenched teeth.

"Uh, what I-a meant to say was that you are in fact, the most powerful woman this universe has-a ever seen!" he said nervously.

She gave him a kiss. "That's better."

"How much longer do we have?" asked Melina.

Shawn checked his watch. "Well, it's 10:00 now. And this thing ends at about 6:00 in the morning. So that's about 8 hours." he said disappointedly.

"We're doomed to hell." Mickie said tiredly.

Some MORE hours later, at around 2 am, things got worse.

On team Smackdown, everyone was asleep except for JBL, Matt, Jeff, Kelly, and Undertaker.

"...the days went on forever. I was faced with the toughest decision of my life. Should I choose the blue tie, or the red one?" JBL continued.

"I can't go on." Matt said tiredly.

"No man! I think we're winning." said Jeff. "Almost everyone on Team Raw's asleep, and there are still five of us left. Just hang on."

"Come on, talk to us about something!" added Kelly Kelly. "You'll be able to stay awake!"

"All right, actually I do have something important to tell you." said Matt. "I overheard Randy telling Edge that he did rig his team's votes!"

"Seriously?" they both asked.

"Yeah! After the team gave in their votes, Randy came in, redid the votes so that Kane's name was on every one of them, and then got him sent home." he finished.

"Aw, damn. You think we should tell everyone else? Even team Raw?" asked Jeff.

"Yeah. We gotta warn them or else someone innocent's gonna end up leaving." replied Matt.

"Wait, you guys. Now that Edge knows Randy's secret, he could do the same thing to our team!" exclaimed Kelly.

"That's right. Do you guys think we should tell Jericho about this?" asked Matt. "Something like this is serious."

"We should. Let's do that first thing in the morning." agreed Jeff.

"Are you three having a good chat?" asked JBL. "I'm just getting to the best part and I expect you to listen."

The three friends grumbled in boredom.

Now it was 5:30 am, and time was almost up...

Everyone from Team Raw was asleep, even storyteller Santino. But only Shawn and Mickie were able to stay awake.

On Team Smackdown, everyone, even JBL was asleep except for Matt, Jeff, and Kelly.

"Mickie, I don't think I'll be able to make it." Shawn said, half asleep.

She held him up. "No, Shawn! We're almost there! There are only 3 people left over there, and...we just have to stay up a little longer." she said tiredly.

"I'm sorry..." he said, falling asleep.

"Shawn!" she cried. "No..." she said, falling asleep, too.

"Good night, you guys..." Matt said, falling asleep next.

"Matt, no!" cried Jeff and Kelly Kelly.

"We're the only ones left." Jeff said, half asleep.

"We need to stay strong. We're winning!" Kelly exclaimed.

"Yeah, we only have to stay up for...15 more minutes." he agreed.

She sighed happily. "We made it, Jeff. We made it through the night."

"I definitely wouldnt've made it without you, Kel." he blushed.

"Aww! I wouldnt've made it without you either." she blushed in return.

A few minutes later, it was 5:59, but would Jeff and Kelly be able to make it until the end?

"One minute to go. Jeff?" called Kelly Kelly.

He was falling asleep quickly.

"Jeff!"

"I want you to win this for me, Kel. I'm burnt out..." he said, falling asleep.

"Jeff, no! Don't leave me!" she exclaimed.

Then, the clock rand 6:00 am, and Jericho came out from a good night's sleep. "What a beautiful morning!" he exclaimed.

Then, he looked around to see everyone asleep except for Kelly.

"Kelly Kelly! Congratulations for staying up. I wish I could say the same for your team." he said.

"Thanks. So does that mean we win?" she asked tiredly.

"Sure does!" he replied.

"Yay." she said, than falling asleep next to Jeff.

Later, everyone woke up, some still tired, while Jericho told everyone else the results...

"Well, congratulations for at least trying to make it through the night, people." he said.

"So who won? Us, right?" asked Melina.

"Nope. Team Smackdwn won! Kelly Kelly was the last one the stay up, so they win." he explained.

Team Smackdown cheered for their teammate, while Team Raw looked disappointed for losing yet another contest.

"Well, Team Raw, I'm sorry to say this, but you have to come with me to the Campfire of Truth tonight to eliminate someone else." said Jericho.

Randy and Edge smiled evilly towards each other.

"Wait!" called Matt. "We need to tell you all something important."

"As you all know, Kane was surprisingly eliminated from the contest two days ago." said Kelly Kelly.

"And it turns out that the original results of the vote were completely different." added Jeff.

"I overhead a certain someone tell someone else that they rigged the votes and wrote Kane's name on each ballot." said Matt. "I think we all know who that is."

Everyone glared at Randy.

"I knew it!" exclaimed CM Punk. "I knew you did something, you snake!"

"Yeah, I did. You gonna arrest me for it?" he asked.

"No, but I'm gonna send you to the fiery depths of hell." Undertaker said darkly.

"And Edge here could do the same thing to our team since he knows Randy's secret!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Isn't it pretty rude to eavesdrop on a conversation?" Randy asked them.

"I don't give a damn how rude it is. We're just trying to save an innocent person from getting eliminated." Matt said seriously.

"Yeah, really. That's pretty cold, you guys." agreed Triple H.

Everyone else agreed while Orton and Edge glared angrily.

"All right, here's the deal. When it's time to vote, Team Smackdown, keep Edge away from the voting booth, and when Randy's gonna vote, I'll make sure he doesn't do anything." said Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "So, you guys want to be the heroes? Go ahead. But when you defy Rated RKO, you pay for it the hard way. Just wait."

-Back outside-

"Hey, Melina, how's it going with you and goody-two shoes over there?" asked Natalya.

"Nattie, don't talk about her like that!" she exclaimed.

The girls gasped.

"Mel, are you feeling all right?" asked Maryse. "You actually sound like you're being friends with her. Real friends."

"Uh, I am? Duh?" she said.

"But we are supposed to be the Divas Of Evil! We're supposed to stick together!" exclaimed Natalya.

"You two can. But count me out. I like hanging around people like her." she said, going back to her team.

Natalya and Maryse had dumbfounded looks on their faces.

"She's being brainwashed, I know it!" exclaimed Maryse.

"I say we approach Mickie ourselves and make her stop what she's doing. The DOE will not die!" announced Natalya.

Meanwhile, CM Punk and Maria went to a deserted corner of the camp, while a surprise would happen...

"I can't wait for our date later tonight. That is, if we don't get eliminated." said Maria.

"We won't, I guarantee it." he replied, looking in her eyes.

She looked into his eyes. "I really, really like you." she smiled.

"I really, really like you, too." he replied, leaning closer to her.

Then, they shared a passionate kiss, when Michelle saw at the wrong time.

"No..." she whispered. Then, she ran off sobbing when she bumped into Cena.

"Whoa, Michelle, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I caught CM Punk and Maria making out." she cried.

He looked shocked. "What?" he demanded.

"Look for yourself!" she exclaimed.

He looked around the corner and saw the scene.

"Maria..." he said sadly. "I can't believe this."

"Looks like you have a crush on Maria the same way I have a crush on Punk." she said.

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't want her and I to be just friends. I wanted us to be something more." he replied.

"Same with Punk and I. As a matter of fact, two nights ago, we hung out and I actually believed that he liked me as much as I like him." Michelle agreed. "I just wish things were different."

Then, Cena had a bright idea. "Maybe. I just thought of a plan."

"What?"

"Michelle, you and I could pretend to date, and maybe Punk and Maria will get jealous and realize they've made a huge mistake! What do you think?" he asked.

"John, that's a great idea! It's bound to work! Let's begin this plan first thing tomorrow." Michelle agreed happily.

Later that night, Team Raw was once again at the Campfire of Truth, ready to eliminate someone else...

"Well, you're here again, Team Raw. And I'm sure I don't need to go through the rules again, so let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave." said Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Batista: "I hope this doesn't turn out screwed up again, but I choose Orton."

John: "I have my own problems right now, so I'll just say Orton."

Randy: "If I had to choose anyone from this team, I'd choose Big Daddy V because he's so damn useless!"

Punk: "You really have to ask me again, don't you? Orton, of course."

Santino: "That Randy Orton didn't-a listen to my list last-a night, so I want him-a gone!"

Shawn: "For God's sakes, please get rid of Orton. Please!"

Mickie: "I'd definitely choose Orton, but Big Daddy V really scares me, so I'll choose him."

Maria: "Big Daddy V! He's soo scary!"

Melina: "If Big V doesn't go, I'll be scarred for life."

The Glamazon: "That Big Daddy V is just a useless lump of space."

Big Daddy V: "I'm voting myself off. There's no fried chicken around here."

-Back outside-

"Ok, now that everyone knows what you think, let's get to the votes." said Jericho. "Remember to grab a smore when I call your name. Cena."

"2nd day, baby." he replied.

"Melina."

"Yay, I guess." she said.

"Shawn."

"Thank God, I get to stay another day." he said happily.

"Mickie."

"Awesome!" she exclaimed.

"Batista."

"All right." he replied.

"Punk."

"Sweet!" he exclaimed.

"Maria."

"Yay!" she cheered, joining him.

"The Glamazon."

"About time." she replied.

"Santino."

"Thank you-a very much!" he cheered.

"All right, Randy Orton, and Big Daddy V. I've got the results and here we go. The person leaving Total WWE Island tonight is..." started Jericho.

Everyone, mostly the guys were hoping that he'd say Randy.

"Big Daddy V." he finished.

"WHAT?" exclaimed the guys.

"Yay!" cheered the girls.

"Good, that useless blob is outta here." the Glamazon said dully.

"Well, Randy, you survived the elimination yet again. And Big V, you get to take the walk of shame over to the yacht of suckers and get the hell outta here!" Jericho exclaimed happily.

"Ok." he said, leaving.

"Girls, why'd you vote him off? We're trying to get Randy outta here first." said Punk.

"We know, but V was just too creepy for us. We couldn't take it anymore!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Well, thank you for supporting me, ladies. I'm grateful for that." said Randy.

"Hold on, we're NOT supporting you. We're still mad that you rigged the votes the other night. In fact, how do we know that you didn't do the same tonight?" asked Melina.

"Jericho was watching me like a hawk the whole time. You can guarantee I didn't do a thing." he said certainly.

"And you expect us to believe you?" asked Batista.

"Don't believe me? I really don't care. I've got other problems on my mind." he said, storming off. "And their names are Matt and Jeff Hardy." he muttered to himself.


	4. Episode 4

Total WWE Island: A Game For the Ages

Episode 4

"Hey, what's up, everyone? This is Y2J, Chris Jericho with another insane episode of TWI coming right up! Last

week's episode was full of twists and turns, with another surprise ending...well, not really. The contest was called

'Don't GTS or Fail', where both teams had to stay awake for as long as they could. They tried everything they could

to keep each other awake, such as Santino's long as hell list about The Glamazon, which didn't help anyone, and JBL

babbling on about who cares what. On Team Raw, a little fling between CM Punk and Maria caused destruction for

Michelle and a jealous Cena, so their solution: Cena and Michelle hook up to make their crushes jealous! And,

Natalya and Maryse never thought they'd see the day when enemies Melina and Mickie would actually become

friends! Melina actually disbanded the Divas Of Evil! Meanwhile, Jeff and Kelly were trying to find an intimate

moment, until Edge jumped in and ruined things. The hours went on, and both teams were losing it. Randy Orton

came in from nowhere, told Edge his secret for getting rid of Kane, but little did they know, Matt heard everything.

Through all of that, Kelly Kelly was the winner, scoring Team Smackdown the win, and Team Raw another visit to the

Campfire of Truth. The votes were close, but at the end, Big Daddy V was sent home. This week, will Cena and

Michelle's plan work? Will Natalya and Maryse try to convince Melina to come back to the DOE? Will Jeff and Kelly

finally get the kiss that they deserve? And will it be a battle between Rated RKO and the Hardy Boys? Find out on

another shocking episode of Total...WWE...Island!"

* * *

Triple H came back to Team Smackdown with the news of who got eliminated from Team Raw…

"Hey, who went yesterday, Hunter?" asked Jeff.

"Well, Randy survived yet another elimination, so Big Daddy V left. I don't think anybody really cares, so it's not a big deal." he replied.

"Good, that useless blob was taking up all of the air, anyway." Edge scoffed.

Meanwhile, Michelle was about to sneak off when Candice caught her.

"Hey, Michelle, where are you off to?" she asked.

"Come with me and I'll tell you everything." she replied. "Ok, you know how yesterday I was all upset over Punk and Maria together?"

"Yeah."

"Well, yesterday, I was taking a walk and I caught them making out!" she exclaimed.

"Oh no! I know you were upset." said Candice.

"I was. I was running away when I bumped into Cena." she continued.

"Then what?"

"Well, he was looking for Maria, but I told him what was going on. And when he saw, he was just as devastated as I was. Afterwards, he came up with a plan."

"Oh, this is gonna be good." Candice said with a smile.

"Yeah. He suggested that he and I hook up and date to make Punk and Maria jealous!" Michelle exclaimed happily. "What do you think?"

"That's a great idea! And it sounds like a fun one, too. Are you looking for Cena right now?" she asked.

"Yep! Wish us luck!" she called, running away.

Back on Team Raw, the Divas of Evil were determined to get their leader back…

Melina and Mickie were chatting away when Maryse and Natalya approached them.

"Melina, I really don't know why you want to hang out with her type." said Natalya.

"Because she's fun, nice, and a good friend to talk to." Melina said surely. "Any other questions?"

"Yeah, for her. Why did you brainwash her? We know you did!" Maryse told Mickie.

"What? I never brainwashed anyone! We just decided to put our differences aside and work together since we're on the same team." she replied.

"Right, and there's no way she brainwashed me! I don't know where you're getting this from." agreed Melina.

"So, you're seriously leaving the Divas of Evil?" asked Natalya.

"Duh! Besides, your organization is just a rip off of Rated RKO. RKO is powerful, while you two didn't even do a damn thing! So, maybe you two better go back to your own team and leave us alone." she replied.

Natalya and Maryse looked defeated.

"Well, uh-FINE! Let's go, Maryse. We don't need her." snapped Natalya.

"That's right, we'll be fine on our own!" agreed Maryse.

Later that day, it was lunchtime, but Rated RKO would stir up trouble yet again…

"Hey, Rands, what's going on?" asked Edge, joining him at a table.

"I'm so pissed off right now." he grumbled.

"Why?"

"You know why! The Hardys and their little friend Kelly Kelly told the whole camp our secret! Nobody embarrasses Rated RKO and gets away with it!" he exclaimed.

"So, you got a plan?" asked Edge.

"Don't I always? Come with me to the back room. I have everything all set up." he said, leading his friend away.

Meanwhile…

"So, what's for lunch today, Big Show?" asked Shawn.

"Oh, the usual." he replied, splattering a clump of the same mushy stuff on his tray.

"That's sweet." Batista said dully.

Meanwhile, John and Michelle had to put their plan into action…

"There they are." Cena said, glaring at Punk and Maria, who were looking into each other's eyes.

"Ok, let's make it casual, but not too obvious." said Michelle.

"Gotcha." he agreed.

"Isn't it funny that we come from the same state and we've never even noticed each other until now?" asked Punk.

"I know, right? But the point is, I found you not a moment too soon." Maria replied, holding his hands.

"You know, it's romantic that we come from two entirely different states and somehow found each other after all this time." said Cena.

"And it's such a miracle that we fell in love at first sight." Michelle replied, taking his hands.

They both glared over to see if Punk and Maria saw them, but they didn't.

"Want to share my smoothie?" asked Punk.

"Sure!" she exclaimed.

"Want some GUM, Michelle?" Cena asked, loud enough for the other couple to hear.

Punk and Maria turned their attention to them.

"Sure, I'll take a piece." Michelle replied.

Then, Cena took the piece he had in his mouth and put it into Michelle's. She looked surprised, and so did Punk and Maria.

"Wow, that was unexpected." Punk said, surprised.

"Yeah. Are they dating, too?" asked Maria.

"If a couple shares gum, they're dating." he replied.

"It's working! They're looking this way!" exclaimed Michelle.

"I knew this plan was gonna work. My plans always do." Cena said proudly.

Michelle rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I'm sure as hell glad we told everyone about Edge and Randy's plan." announced Matt.

"Yeah, but I have a feeling that they're gonna get us back somehow." replied Kelly.

"Whatever they'll do to us, we'll get em back. We're the Hardys, remember? We always come back with a bang!" Jeff exclaimed, pounding his fist on the table as the mushy stuff for lunch flew up and landed on him. "Aw, crap." he muttered.

"Hey, you guys!" called Mickie.

"Hey!" called Jeff and Kelly.

"Hey, babe, I missed you so much!" Matt exclaimed, giving her a kiss.

"I missed you, too! Hey, can Melina sit with us?" she asked.

"Uh, sure!" Jeff replied, confused.

"Hey, guys! Surprised to see me here, huh?" asked Melina.

"A little. Are you two friends now?" asked Kelly.

"Yeah, we decided to put our differences aside and be a team again." she replied.

"And you guys did a nice job of telling everyone about what Edge and Randy did!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Yeah, nobody would even dare to mess with them. Aren't you three afraid that they'll get you guys back?" asked Melina.

"Nope. Whatever they can do, we can do better." Matt replied confidently.

"I'll be right back, you guys. I'm gonna go get a drink." Kelly said, getting up. When she got on line, Randy appeared behind her.

"Hey, Kelly." he said.

She whipped around. "What the hell do you want?" she demanded.

"I just wanted to tell you that if you wanted a drink or something, you have to go to that second window over there." he pointed out.

She just eyed him. "Ok, I guess." she muttered.

When she went to the second window, Edge, wearing a monster mask, jumped out from nowhere. "OOGABOOGABOOGABOOGA!" he shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, stumbling. As soon as she turned around, Randy had a huge pot of that mushy stuff that was for lunch and splashed it all over her.

The whole cafeteria was dead silent.

"Oh…" Kelly uttered, seeing herself drenched.

"That's too bad. Those stains'll never come out!" laughed Randy.

"That's what you get for messing with Rated RKO!" agreed Edge, laughing along.

Kelly saw everyone staring at her, and then saw Edge and Randy laugh their asses off. Her eyes filled with tears and then she sped out of the room, crying.

Jeff immediately got up and followed her. "Kelly!" he called after her.

"What are you all staring at?" Randy snapped.

Then, the girls all looked furious and stormed up to them. "You bastards!" Mickie exclaimed, slapping Randy square in the face.

"How could you?" Melina asked, slapping Edge.

"That was low. Too low." Michelle said, tossing her lunch in their faces.

Maria stomped up to them and kicked them both in the shins. "Jerks!" she exclaimed.

Candice slammed her lunch in their faces, too. "I second that!" she exclaimed.

Then, the Glamazon, Maryse, and Natalya all dumped their lunches on their heads.

"You know, those stains really WON'T come out!" exclaimed Natalya.

Then when Edge turned around, he faced Matt. He then delivered a Twist of Fate to him and left him there. Randy turned around to see Undertaker facing him, and he delivered a devastating chokeslam. When both guys were lying dazed on the ground, Shawn looked down at them and said, "Let's give em hell, everyone!"

And after that, the cafeteria was an all out MADHOUSE.

Back outside, Kelly came outside from a shower, where she met Jeff waiting for her.

"Kelly, I'm so sorry." he said sincerely.

She started crying again. "I'm such an idiot!"

"Hey, don't say that." he replied.

"I am! I should've known that Randy was playing a trick on me, and I fell for it. A brilliant decision from me." she cried.

"Kel, listen to me. None of this was your fault. I think that Randy and Edge were just trying to get back at Matt and I for what we did. I don't know why they attacked you instead." he replied.

"Probably because they know that you and I like each other." she blushed a little.

He smiled. "Well, that's true. I like you a lot."

She smiled back. "I like you a lot, too. I'm just so embarrassed that you and everyone else had to see me like that." she said, blushing.

"I don't care how you looked back there. You're still beautiful to me." Jeff said, taking her hands.

"Jeff…" she kept smiling.

"Come here." he said, giving her a hug.

"Thanks. I feel better now." she replied.

"That's good to hear. Don't worry, Kel, nobody's ever gonna mess with you while I'm around." he finished.

Then, Jericho's voice appeared on the loudspeaker again. _"Attention, campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!"_

"Here we go again." Jeff and Kelly said at the same time before they laughed.

Everyone met up at the auditorium, where they were met by Jericho…

"Good afternoon, everyone! I heard that there was a scene in the cafeteria, eh?" he asked.

As a reply, the gang peddled Randy and Edge with rotten vegetables and fruit while Shawn blew an egg through a straw, which poked Edge in the eye. "OW!" he screamed, falling to the ground.

"Oh. Oh, my. Well, since you're all pretty steamed, today's contest will be perfect for you. We're gonna play…dodgeball." he said with an evil smile.

"Hell yeah!" exclaimed some of the guys.

"That's the spirit! Now, the rules are pretty simple. Both teams'll compete against each other. And the last person standing will score a win for their team! Now when you're ready, meet me in the gym!" he finished.

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jericho's a genius! This is the perfect chance for Jeff, Kelly, and I to get our revenge on Rated RKO!"

Randy: "Ok, a dodgeball game + Rated RKO = Hell on Earth. That's all I have to say."

Jeff: "I'll make Randy wish that he was never born. Matt can take care of Edge, but Randy belongs to me. This game isn't a contest for me. It's personal."

-Back outside-

Both teams met up in the gym for the duel to begin…

"Ready, set, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" exclaimed Jericho.

Everyone got their own dodgeballs and furiously fired one after another towards the opposite team.

"Watch-a the professional get things-a done!" exclaimed Santino.

But before he even threw anything, Edge fired a dodgeball right towards him, knocking him off his feet.

"DRAT!" he cried, taking a seat on the bleachers.

"How dare you hit my Tino! Take this!" the Glamazon exclaimed, firing a ball towards Edge. Instead of hitting him, though, it struck Natalya.

"How dare you!" she snapped. Before she took her seat by the bleachers, she fired a ball towards the Glamazon, but it missed. "Nyah!" she smiled, sticking her tongue out at her.

Shawn and Triple H both got their own dodgeballs, and then looked at one another.

"So…it had to come to this, my friend." said Shawn.

"Yes, it has. But it's competition, remember." agreed Triple H.

"Nice knowing you." Shawn said quickly.

"What?"

He fired a ball towards HHH, but he dodged it just in time. "Fine, if that's how you want to play." he replied. Then, he fired a ball back towards Shawn, who dodged it.

"The Heartbreak Kid hasn't even begun to fight!" he exclaimed, firing another ball towards him.

"Oh yeah? The Cerebral Assassin doesn't lose, either!" HHH called back, firing yet another ball towards his friend.

Meanwhile, Michelle grabbed a dodgeball and tried to find someone to attack. Then, she caught Maria.

-Hidden Camera-

Michelle: "I didn't know what to do. She is one of my best friends, but she stole my crush! That's just messed up!"

-Back outside-

Before she struck, she remembered all the good times she and Maria had, like the time they kicked ass in the ring together, all the laughs they shared, and all the times they were there for each other. _"I can't attack her. She's been too nice to me."_ she thought. Then, she aimed for someone else, but the ball struck Maria by accident.

"Oh, no!" cried Michelle.

"Hey! No fair!" she pouted, going back to the bleachers.

"Maybe she didn't know who threw the ball." she told herself. Then another ball struck her while she wasn't looking. "What the?"

She looked back to see Maryse standing over her. "Why did you do that?" Michelle demanded.

"You think I'm gonna tell you?" she asked with a laugh.

Then, Michelle tackled her to the ground and the girls had an all out catfight!

Meanwhile, JBL was sitting on the bleachers the whole time, just watching the game instead of playing. "What the hell kind of throw was that?" he cried.

"Hey, JBL, get your lazy ass in the game right now!" exclaimed Edge.

"I refuse to take part in a game that none of you even know how to play." he replied. Then, Undertaker struck a fastball towards him, knocking him off of the bleachers. "You better take part, lazy ass." he mumbled.

Batista aimed another fastball towards him, but Undertaker caught it and threw it right back at him.

"Damn." muttered Batista, bracing for impact. The ball almost struck him, but he dodged it just in time.

Meanwhile…

"Hey, Cena. I didn't know you and Michelle were together." said CM Punk. "She's a great girl."

"I know she is." he replied, still aiming dodgeballs at people.

"Dude, are you mad at me for dating Maria?" he asked.

"I can't be mad when she loves you instead." he replied.

"I feel kinda guilty, though. I mean, everyone knows that you had the biggest crush on her." said Punk.

"Yeah, had. I'm over my jealousy and I found Michelle. She's made me really happy since we started dating." Cena answered.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." Punk replied with a smile.

Meanwhile, Candice threw a dodgeball towards the Glamazon while she wasn't looking. "HEY! Nobody eliminates the Glamazon!" she cried, pissed off.

"Well, I did. Ha ha." giggled Candice.

She stormed over to the bleachers with Santino. "You did a fantastic job out-a there!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, but it wasn't good enough." she muttered.

"That's all-a right, we're get them-a next time!" he exclaimed again.

Then, a dodgeball bounced off of his head. "What the—"

"Sorry." Batista said with a smile.

Later, Kofi threw a fastball towards Cena and Punk, and knocked them both off of their feet!

"Whoa!" cried Team Smackdown.

"Damn, he's good!" exclaimed Punk.

"Yeah, mon! That's the way to play!" he exclaimed.

"Look out!" called Kelly.

He turned around to find another fastball coming right for him. He tried to dodge, but it was too late.

"We can't all get the glory, now can we?" Batista asked, grinning.

"Candice!" called Matt.

"Huh—AH!" she cried, being struck next, courtesy of Melina. As retaliation for her teammate, Kelly aimed a curveball back at Melina, sending her out of the game. As revenge from earlier, Batista struck a fastball towards the Undertaker, eliminating him next.

"What the hell was that? Defense, people, defense!" called JBL.

"What's wrong with you? Why can't you play like the rest of us?" asked Candice, who was holding Michelle back from Maryse.

"Woman, I'd be embarrassed to play with you people." he replied. "Unbelievable!"

Then, Undertaker punched him in the face. "Shut up." he muttered.

Batista, Shawn, Randy, and Mickie were still standing for Team Raw, while Triple H, the Hardys, Edge, and Kelly Kelly were still standing for Team Smackdown.

"You're finished." Edge whispered, as he targeted Mickie next.

"AAH!" she screamed as the blow knocked her off of her feet.

"Mickie!" Matt exclaimed, coming to her aid. While he ran to the other side, Edge struck another ball towards him. Matt turned around, more furious than ever. "Mickie, are you ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"Good. RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Matt screamed as he tacked Edge to the ground. The two guys were beating the crap out of each other while Team Smackdown tried to break them up. Batista was so into the fight that he didn't see Triple H throw another dodgeball at him.

"Aw, damn it." he cried, taking his seat on the bleachers.

While Jeff was trying to keep his brother away from Edge, he didn't see Randy aim the next dodgeball towards Kelly.

"Kelly, look out!" called Shawn and HHH.

Jeff immediately turned around. "NO!" he cried in fear.

But it was too late. "AAAHHH!" she screamed as the ball sent her straight to the back wall.

He rushed to her side. "Kelly! Are you all right?" he asked, worried.

"I-I think so." she said weakly. "Jeff, just kick Randy's ass for me." she said as Michelle and Candice helped her to the bleachers.

"Damn right, I will." he agreed seriously.

Meanwhile, Shawn and Triple H wanted to end things once and for all.

"Good game, man." said Shawn.

"Right back at ya, HBK." replied HHH.

Then both guys threw fastballs, nailing each other at the same time.

"Ok, now that that's done, let's see the real fight!" Shawn cried happily.

"Hell yeah!" agreed HHH.

Both guys just stood there, glaring at each other at first. Randy's eyes burned with anger, as Jeff glared at Randy with hatred in his eyes. Orton aimed and fired at the same time that Jeff did. Hardy dodged the throw, and then fired two more dodgeballs towards his enemy. Randy was able to dodge both, before firing another one straight back towards him. Jeff made an amazing catch and fired it right back at him, almost striking Randy.

"Nice try. But remember, I sent your little girlfriend flying straight into the wall!" he laughed.

The intensity grew even more fierce inside of Jeff, so he aimed another two fastballs towards him, just missing him.

"Now, it's my turn." smirked Randy. He threw a quick flying fastball towards his enemy. Everyone thought that this one wouldn't miss, but Jeff made a gravity defying jump high in the air, missing it by a mile.

Team Smackdown cheered as Team Raw looked in awe. Even Randy looked shocked. "That's it!" he cried, grabbing another dodgeball.

This was the moment that would bring out the team winner. Randy fired at the exact same time that Jeff did, and everyone was dead silent, while the balls struck both guys at the same time, knocking them off of their feet.

"Whoa." Everyone said.

"So, who won?" demanded Randy, who was holding onto his chest.  
"I DID!" he screamed, charging right towards him. While the two enemies beat the living hell out of each other, both teams broke them up.

"All right, all right, HOLD IT!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Who won?" asked Matt.

"Well, I've got it all on tape. Let's play this in slo-mo." he replied. When the tape played slower than it should've been, it revealed that Jeff was hit first, sending Team Raw their first win.

"What?" exclaimed Jeff.

"Randy had to've been hit first!" cried Kelly.

"Play your tapes right, mon!" agreed Kofi.

"Don't listen to any of em! I WON!" snapped Randy.

"Hey! Now, I actually have to side with Team Raw on this one." exclaimed JBL. "I'm embarrassed to be with a team that lost a simple dodgeball game."

Everyone glared at him.

"Aw, shut up!" snapped HHH. "You didn't even get up once, you lazy bum! You put the 'ass' in embarrassment!"

Then, everyone started arguing loudly, until Chris broke them all up. "MAINTAIN!" he screamed.

Silence.

"Now, the tape doesn't lie. Jeff was hit first, so Team Raw wins. This argument is closed, and Team Smackdown, you'll all meet me at the Campfire of truth later tonight!" he exclaimed, walking away.

Later, Cena caught up with Michelle as she went to join her team at the Campfire of Truth…

"Michelle!" he called.

"Hey!" she called back.

"I'm sorry your team lost the contest." he told her. "Randy was totally out of line back there."

"I know. It's sad he isn't eliminated yet." she agreed.

"Yep. So anyway, I just came to wish you good luck out there. I hope you don't get eliminated tonight." he said with a smile.

She smiled back. "Thanks! That's sweet of you, John."

He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later." he replied, going back with his team.

"Wow…" she blushed as she joined her team.

Little did anyone know, CM Punk and Maria walked by and saw the whole scene.

"Those two really have a thing for each other!" exclaimed Maria.

"Yeah…" agreed Punk, not exactly thrilled.

A few minutes later, everyone made it to the Campfire of Truth where they met Jericho once again…

"Welcome, Team Smackdown to the Campfire of Truth. Since this is your first time here, I'll explain the rules. I have 11 smores here, so whoever's name I call, gets a smore. The 12th person who doesn't receive a smore is the one who is eliminated and takes the dreaded walk of shame to the yacht of suckers! Now before I reveal the results, let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to go." said Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Triple H: "That JBL is such a lazy ass! He better get the boot tonight!"

Matt: "I'll say this everytime I'm in this room. Edge needs to go before I get rid of him myself."

Jeff: "JBL or Edge? I'll choose Edge because that idiot ambushed my bro."

Kofi: "JBL is a good for nothing hypocrite, mon! He didn't do a thing!"

Edge: "Hey, Matt? I bet you voted for me, right? Well, it works both ways. I'm votin' for you."

JBL: "Do I really have to choose? Undertaker attacked me while I was commentating!"

Kelly: "That Edge was such a jerk for attacking Matt like that!"

Michelle: "I choose JBL because this week he's just stupid."

Maryse: "I'd choose Michelle, but I need competition. I choose JBL."

Natalya: "Who does that JBL think he is? If he doubts this team, he better hit the road, jack!"

Candice: "JBL of course! If he doesn't like the team, then he doesn't need to be here!"

Undertaker: "If I hear another word from JBL, I'll chokeslam him into the flames of hell. Then he'll…rest…in…peace."

-Back outside-

"Ok, quite a mixed decision of votes, but here we go. When I call your name, come up and grab a smore. Kelly Kelly." called Jericho.

"Yay!" she cheered.

"Kofi."

"Yeah, mon!" he cheered.

"Michelle."

"Awesome!" she said happily.

"Jeff."

"Sweet!" he called, joining Kelly.

"Matt."

"It's all good!" he cheered, joining the gang.

"Candice."

"Yes!" she exclaimed.

"Triple H."

"About time, man." he replied.

"Undertaker."

He glared at Jericho and joined his team.

"Can we just stop the votes and send the rest of them home?" asked HHH.

"NO!" cried Natalya, Maryse, Edge, and JBL.

"All righty then. Maryse." Jericho continued.

"Move it or lose it." she scoffed.

"Edge."

"Hell no!" cried Matt.

"Hell YES!" he replied.

"Ok, Natalya and JBL, only one of you gets the last smore. And that person is…"

Natalya looked nervous while JBL looked confident enough to stay.

"Natalya." Jericho finished.

"YES!" she cheered. "In your face!" she told JBL.

"Now, wait a damn minute here!" exclaimed JBL.

"Uh, no. You've been eliminated, so you get to take the walk of shame and get the hell outta here!" Chris said happily.

He took one last look back at everyone. "You haven't seen the last of me." he said.

"You hear that, guys? He's out, I'm still in! Rated RKO is still in business!" exclaimed Edge.

"You got that right." Randy said, joining him.

"Well, you're gonna be OUTTA business when we get through with you!" Jeff cried, pissed off.

"Oh yeah, take us on!" Randy shouted back.

"We're gonna kick your asses!" exclaimed Matt.

And then, Team Smackdown had to hold back both the Hardys and Rated RKO before they started more chaos than they were in right now! Which tag team would come out on top?


	5. Episode 5

Total WWE Island: So You Want to Be A Superstar…

Episode 5

"Hey, everyone! The Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho here with another shocking episode of Total

WWE Island! Last week's episode was an all out WAR! Melina made her point of staying on the side of good by

telling off Maryse and Natalya, while Cena and Michelle began 'dating'. But do the two really have feelings for one

another? And will Punk and Maria ever get jealous? Kelly Kelly got a wake up call when she fell victim to Rated RKO's

latest prank, and Jeff was ready to kick some ass to defend the special woman in his life. And what better way to do

that than to compete in a dodgeball tournament? Each team was kicking ass, while separate brawls took place on

the sidelines. Jeff and Randy were the last two guys standing, and they gave each other hell until the very last

dodgeballs were thrown. After watching the action again, it revealed that Jeff was hit first, scoring Team Raw their

first win. After I met with Team Smackdown at the Campfire of Truth, everyone had mixed decisions about who they

wanted off, but in the end, it was JBL who took the walk of shame. This week, will things between Cena and Michelle

heat up? And will it be a match for the ages when revenge comes between the Hardys and Rated RKO? Find out on

another shocking episode of Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Michelle caught up with Cena where Team Raw was, to continue on with their plan…

"John!" she cried.

"Michelle! You didn't get eliminated!" he replied, giving her a hug.

"I know, I'm surprised, too!" she replied, smiling.

"So, are we still going on with the plan?" he asked.

"I guess so. Did you see Punk and Maria anywhere?" she asked back.

"Yeah, they're hanging out at the café. Let's get going." he replied.

"Cool. You know, even if this plan doesn't work, it doesn't matter anymore because you're really fun to hang out with!" she said sincerely.

He blushed. "Aw, I'm not that much. You're the fun one!" Cena replied, smiling back.

Back at Team Smackdown's campsite, Jeff was still pissed off with Rated RKO…

"Hey, Jeff." greeted Kelly. "I hope I'm not bothering you."

"You'd never bother me. C'mon, have a seat." he replied.

"Thanks. So, whatcha thinking about? Your revenge?" she asked.

"Exactly. I mean, after everything Randy and Edge did to us, they need to pay. I just don't know how yet." he answered.

"Well, when you do think of some kind of payback, just remember that I'm 110% behind you." Kelly said with a smile.

"Kel, you're the best, you know that?" Jeff smiled back.

"You're better." she replied, giggling.

Then, they looked into each other's eyes and leaned in for—

"Hey, you guys!—Am I interrupting something?" asked Triple H.

They both sighed.

"No, I guess. What's up?" asked Jeff.

"I was just walking past Team Raw's campsite, and I just happened to see Randy jotting something down in, get this, a diary!" he exclaimed.

They both looked shocked.

Kelly laughed. "What?"

"I'm not lying! It was all frilly and everything! Just wanted to tell you." he said, laughing as he left.

"Oh man, that's gold!" Jeff laughed.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

A few minutes later, everyone met up with Jericho at the auditorium…

"Welcome to another day at Total WWE Island, peoples. Now listen up, today's challenge is a little different than usual. Today, both teams are going to be competing in a talent show! Each team needs to choose three people to represent you guys, and I'll leave it at that. I'll explain the rest of the rules when everyone's ready to go on. So, good luck! You're all gonna need it." Jericho smiled evilly.

Later, both teams did what they were told, but who would they pick?

"All right, you we want to win again, we gotta choose wisely. Who wants to volunteer to show off their talent?" asked Shawn.

"Yes, over-a here!" exclaimed Santino. "Now, other than-a my impressive talent in the ring, I can also dance-a the interpretive dance!"

Everyone stared at him.

"…What?" Batista asked flatly.

"Watch. Honey, start-a the music!" he called.

The Glamazon did what she was told. "You show them what you got, Tino!" she exclaimed.

While this classical music played, he pranced around, and he wasn't half bad.

"Ok, how was that?" he asked, finished.

"That was…actually pretty good." Punk said, surprised. "I can't believe I just said that."

"Ok, then. Santino's on the list, now who else?" asked Shawn.

"Me! Me!" exclaimed Maria.

"Ok, what can you do?" he asked.

"I've always been really good at gymnastics! Can I try that?" she asked.

"Sure, go for it!" replied Mickie.

"Ok, here goes." she said, going into a handstand. Then, she did a few perfect backflips, bounced onto something that looked like a balance beam, and finished it off with a cartwheel. "Ta Da! How was that?"

"YEAH, BABYCAKES!" Punk cheered loudly while the others looked at him in surprise. "You rule, babe." he finished quickly.

"Well, you are definitely on the list, Ria! Ok, we need one more person." announced Shawn.

"Can I flex my muscles or something?" asked Batista.

"No." everyone else replied.

"Aw, why do I even try." he muttered.

"Hey, I could do a rap about the other team. I could diss certain people." said John.

"That just might work. Ok, so we have Santino's dancing, Maria's gymnastics, and Cena's rapping. We might actually stand a chance!" exclaimed Shawn.

Then, he saw that Santino was trying to dance again, but fell and got stuck in a nearby bucket, Maria was slapping a bug away from her but accidentally slapped herself, and John was bragging to Batista about his bigger muscles, resulting in a shouting match between the two.

Shawn narrowed his eyes. "I lied."

Now, it was time for Team Smackdown to make their decisions…

"Ok, we gotta get a good team together if we want to make a comeback." announced Matt. "Who wants to go first?"

"Well, I'm obviously the only one with talent inside and outside the ring." said Edge. "I have my own way of showing you all, so just add me to the list." he said, walking off.

Matt glared towards him. "Whatever. So, anyone else?"

"I'm good at ballet." Maryse said certainly.

"Wow, really? So, how did they cover your legs from all that cellulite?" Michelle asked with a smirk.

"OOH!" exclaimed everyone else.

While Maryse was staring bullets through her, Natalya said, "Never mind her, just start dancing."

"Yeah." she agreed. Then, ballet music began playing and Maryse started dancing pretty gracefully. "Ok, that was good, right?"

"I…guess." said HHH.

"Ehh." muttered Michelle.

"Well, we don't have much of a choice, so she's on the list. Ok, we need one more person." said Matt.

"Jeff, you play guitar, don't you, mon?" asked Kofi.

"Yeah, in my spare time. You guys want me to do that?" he asked.

Everyone encouraged him to do so.

"It sure beats the hell out of whatever Edge's doing and that boring as hell ballet routine." agreed Triple H.

"Go for it, bro!" exclaimed Matt.

"Sure, why not?" accepted Jeff.

"Ok, then, we've got our list set!" he exclaimed.

"Hey Jeff, I just got an idea!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Yeah?"

"Remember how Triple H told us that he saw Randy and his _diary_?" she asked with a smile.

Jeff brightened up. "Yeah! I see where you're going. So you're saying that I should get ahold of Randy's diary and expose it during the show?" he asked.

"Exactly! Are you gonna be able to steal it from him?" she asked.

"I think I'll be able to get away with it. Wanna come with me?" asked Jeff.

"Sure! Let's get some dirt." Kelly said with a wicked smile.

Meanwhile, Cena and Michelle caught Punk and Maria hanging out at the café, where they could continue putting their plan into action…

"Hey look, it's Michelle and John." said Maria.

"You know, I was just talking to Cena yesterday during that dodgeball game." said Punk.

"Oh? What did he say?"

"He really likes spending time with her and she makes him really happy." he replied.

"Aww! That's sweet!" she smiled.

"So, are you doing anything for the talent show?" Michelle asked Cena.

"Yeah, I'm gonna rap and diss some people from the other team." he replied. "Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of dissing you."

"I believe you." She smiled back.

"How about you? Are you gonna be in the show?"

"Nah, but I'll be cheering for you." she replied.

"Aw, you'd cheer on little ol' me?" he asked with a smirk.

She laughed. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you'd be rooting for your competition. And I'm sure your team wouldn't like that." he replied.

"I don't care what they say. We're close friends and I'm cheering you on whether they like it or not!" she said certainly.

"Wow, well, thanks!"

"No, thank you." she replied back.

"For what?"

"Just for being such a good friend. I haven't been upset about Punk anymore since we started 'dating'."

"And this may sound as a shock to you, but I'm kind of over Maria." he replied.

"What?" Michelle asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I mean, there are other girls out there. Maybe even ones sitting across from you." He said with a wink.

She blushed again. "Maybe."

"Michelle, do you think this 'date' could be a real one?" he asked.

She smiled and took his hands. "I'd really like that." she said sincerely.

On the other side, Punk saw the two holding hands and gazing at each other, with a hint of jealousy in his eyes.

Back at camp, Jeff and Kelly snuck over to Team Raw's campsite and their mission to find Randy's diary was in full effect…

"Ok, should we both go in, or should one of us keep guard?" asked Jeff.

"You go in, and I'll make sure that nobody's coming." replied Kelly.

"You sure you'll be all right out here on your own?" he asked.

"Don't worry, I'll be totally fine. I'll let you know if anyone's coming." she replied.

"Ok. Thanks for everything, Kel." he smiled, going inside.

"No problem!" she called back with a smile.

Inside, the team's bunk room looked like a pigsty.

"Wow, now I see why Orton lives here. Damn." Jeff said dully.

Then, he searched through every bed, every suitcase, but found nothing.

"Damn it! I know I'm in the right place, but where the hell is it?" he demanded.

Then, something fell on his head from the ceiling.

"OW! What the—"

He looked down and found the frilly pink diary!

"Hot damn!" he smiled.

"Jeff, someone's coming!" cried Kelly.

"Don't worry, Kel. I got it!" he exclaimed.

"Awesome! Let's go!" she said, leading him back to Team Smackdown's campsite. When they got back to their team's bunk house, they found Matt huddled under the covers, looking miserable.

"Hey, Matt, you ok, man?" asked Jeff.

"I miss Mickie." he said sadly.

"Aww." Kelly said, giving him a hug. "You'll still see her."

"Yeah, but I still wish she was on the same team as us." he replied. Then, he caught the diary that Jeff had. "Who's is that?"

"Oh, get this. This is Randy Orton's diary." he smiled.

"You're kidding."

"No, HHH saw Randy writing something down inside of it." replied Kelly.

"Wow! This is like—like a 9 year old's diary!" Matt said, laughing. "Did you guys read it yet?"

"I'm just about to. Ok, 'I think that Glamazon chick would be pretty hot only if it weren't for her manly features.'" he read.

"Oh no." laughed Kelly.

"Oh, check this one out!" exclaimed Matt. "'I've decided to add another sock puppet to my collection. Who knows? Maybe I'll name her Randina!'" he read.

Everyone laughed while Kelly said, "Look at this one!: 'I can't believe I wet the bed again this morning! This problem's been going on for way too long! Those Depends I bought from Wal Mart isn't doing jack!...maybe it's just me.'" she read.

"Man, I'm crying here! This is genius!" laughed Matt.

"And this isn't even half of it! This stuff is gold, I tell you. I can't wait until the show starts." Jeff said with the evil smile he had before.

And soon after that, she show began. Everyone took their seats on the bleachers, while everyone else was backstage…

"Hey, everyone!" exclaimed Jericho. "Well, here's the next contest, the 1st and Only annual TWI talent show! Now, you guys chose your three contestants, and here's the new stuff. After each contestant performs, Chef Big Show's meter will light up. If it goes in the red zone, it's a flop. If it goes in the yellow, it's all right, and if it goes in the green zone, you're amazing. So without further ado, let's get this party started! First up from Team Smackdown, Edge!"

Only Randy clapped for him, but everyone else was dead silent.

"Thank you, thank you!" he exclaimed.

Then, he grabbed a stool, posed himself on it, and fluffed up his hair. After that, he leaned back, pulled a string from the ceiling, and water drenched his body. Finally, he stood up and bowed. "Thank you!"

*crickets*

"Ok then. Let's see what Chef Big Show's meter says." announced Jericho.

It lit up to the yellow zone.

"Not bad, not bad." he replied.

"Not bad? NOT BAD? That was a work of art! Are you all blind?" demanded Edge. "Where is Big Show, anyway, I'll kick his fat—"

*Footsteps*

"Never mind." Edge said, leaving quickly.

Then right after he left, everyone started cheering loudly.

"Now THAT's a good talent!" exclaimed Batista.

"Next up from Team Smackdown, Maryse!" exclaimed Jericho.

Again, not many people clapped except for Natalya.

The ballet music came on, and Maryse came out in a frilly pink tutu. She did a few spins and twirls, leaped in the air, and landed with a split.

Almost everyone fell asleep.

"WAKE UP, FOOLS!" she screamed.

Everyone snapped to attention and clapped.

"Well, that was intriguing." Jericho said dully. "Let's check with the meter."

It lit up in the red zone.

"Ooh, not too good. Sorry Maryse." he said.

"Whatever. None of you know what real talent is, anyway." she scoffed.

"All right, and now here's the last contestant from Team Smackdown, Jeff Hardy!" exclaimed Jericho.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered.

He came out with his guitar. "Thanks, you guys. Now this little number is for one special girl in my life." he said, looking at Kelly.

She blushed and smiled back.

"_I'm not a perfect person,_

_There's many things I wish I didn't do…_

_But I continue learning,_

_I never meant to do those things to you,_

_And so I have to say before I go…_

_That I just want you to know,_

_I've found a reason for me,_

_To change who I used to be, _

_A reason to start over new, _

_And the reason is you." _he finished.

Kelly had the brightest smile on her face while she and everyone else cheered in response.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Thanks, everyone. But that was only part one." he continued. "You see, today I came across something…very special to someone, but I'm not naming any names." he took out the diary. "This belongs to someone that lives here, but who, you ask? Let's pick out some clues. Oh, here's one: this person enjoys watching Dora the Explorer and Blues Clues in his spare time."

Some people laughed and some people gasped while Triple H had a smile on his face. _"Good job, kid."_ he thought.

"Who is it?" called Punk.

"Well, let's look for some more clues and we'll find out." he continued. "Here's a good one: This person apparently has a bed wetting problem and needs some kind of help." he said, while the gang continued laughing. "Did I mention that he wears depends?"

They laughed even harder.

Backstage, Randy and Edge were furious.

"How the hell did he get that?" snapped Randy.

"I don't know, man! You wear depends?" asked Edge.

"Shut up!" he cried.

"And if you thought that one was good, wait until you hear this one: This person says, 'I think that Glamazon chick would be pretty hot only if it weren't for her manly features.'" he finished.

"WHAT?" she exclaimed, pissed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" everyone laughed.

Even Undertaker was stifling a laugh.

"I can't take it anymore! Who the hell are you talking about?" laughed Shawn.

Then, Randy jumped out from backstage and almost tackled Jeff for the diary.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this wonderful diary belongs to Randy Orton!" he announced, leaping off the stage and running away while Randy chased him around.

"WHOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered.

"Wow, what a performance, huh?" asked Jericho as he came onstage. "Let's see what Big Show's meter says."

It lit up in the green zone, as Team Smackdown cheered.

"Well, turns out that Jeff just saved his team from certain doom. Now it's Team Raw's turn. First up, Santino Marella!" he exclaimed.

Some people cheered, but the Glamazon was up close and personal.

"Thank you-a, thank you very much!" he said.

Then some classical music came on, while he twirled and pranced around.

Team Smackdown looked at him like he was crazy.

"Uh, did he drink before he got up there?" asked Triple H.

He spun a ribbon around a few times, and then wrapped things up as the song ended.

Some people halfheartedly clapped while others looked dumbfounded.

"Great job, Tino!" cheered the Glamazon.

"Ok then, Big Show?" asked Jericho.

The meter lit up in the yellow zone.

"Like before, not bad, but not great."

"Now, wait-a a minute!" he cried.

"Yeah, move outta my spotlight." Jericho said, shoving him out of the way. "Next up from Team Raw, Maria!"

Backstage, she met up with Cena. "I'm sooo nervous! just hope that I won't screw up out there." she said.

"Aw, you'll do fine. Besides, Punk is right out there waiting for you. He'll enjoy it." he replied.

"Ok, thanks…" she said, unsurely.

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "Wow, it's weird now that John's with Michelle, I feel kinda empty without him. And he used to be obsessed with me."

-Back outside-

Maria came onstage, while the audience cheered.  
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Thanks, everyone!" she exclaimed. Then she caught Punk while he winked at her.

She smiled back and began her routine. Maria got into a handstand, but then saw all those people staring right at her. The redhead was used to seeing a huge crowd watching her in the ring, but it was different here.

Her face turned green and then…

"Uh oh." said Batista.

She threw up on most of the audience.

"Good God!" cried Shawn.

"UGH!" cried some of the girls.

"Uh, sorry!" Maria turned red, running backstage.

"Aw, Ria." Punk said, feeling sorry for her.

Jericho came back onstage, dodging the puddles on the ground. "Yeah…ok, Big Show, what'd you think?"

The meter lit up in the red zone.

"Yeah…not good. Well, here's our 3rd and final contestant from Team Raw, John Cena!" exclaimed Chris.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cheered everyone.

"What's up, everyone? Now, I originally planned to do a diss rap, but the only two people we all hate are Edge and Randy, and that's really not much. So I had a backup plan, and here we go." he said. He stood up to the mike and began beatboxing to Snoop Dogg's 'Drop it Likt it's Hot'.

"Boom boom tss, boom boom tss, boom boom tss, boom boom tss, do, do, do, do…pop pop tss, pop pop tss, pop pop tss, pop pop tss, *makes tongue sounds* do, do, do, do…" he finished.

Everyone just stared at him.

Even Randy and Jeff stopped chasing each other and stared.

*More crickets*

"Thank you!" Cena said happily.

Michelle gazed at him with a smile plastered on her face.

"I left them speechless." John said to the others backstage.

"Okay…" Jericho said slowly. "Let's see what Big Show has to say."

The meter lit up in the green zone!

"WHA?" everyone asked in surprise.

"Well then. If you add that to the rest of the scores, and then compare that to Team Smackdown's scores, it turns out that Team Raw wins again!" he exclaimed.

Team Raw cheered loudly, while Team Smackdown sulked in disappointment.

Later…

Randy finally snatched the diary away from Jeff. "YOU! If you EVER get your hands on my diary again…" he began.

"Hey Randy? You need some dry sheets?" joked Undertaker.

"If you EVER…"

"Hey, Rands, let's come over to my bunk room later, we can watch some Sesame Street while we're at it!" joked Triple H.

Jeff couldn't help but to laugh.

"This isn't funny! If you EVER get your hands on my diary again, I'll do something so bad to you, your brother, and your little girlfriend, you'll all wish you hadn't done what you did tonight."

"I'm shaking." he said dully.

"Sure, laugh it up now. But trust me, you won't even be cracking a smile after I get my revenge on you." he said, walking away.

"Hey, Jeff, did you hear the news?" asked Kelly, joining him.

"No, what?"

"Our team lost the challenge." she said sadly.

"What?" he asked, shocked. "It couldn't have been my performance, everyone loved it!"

"Yeah, everyone loved it, even Big Show loved it, and you saved our team, but somehow, John Cena's beatboxing saved Team Raw." she replied.

"Aw, man. Let's just hope neither of us goes home." he sighed.

Meanwhile, Edge approached Triple H, Candice, Kofi, and the Undertaker.

"Hey, you guys!" he greeted.

"What the hell do you want?" asked the Deadman.

"Well, elimination time's coming up again and I'm sure you all want a certain someone out of here." he said.

"Yeah. You." replied Candice.

"I know. But what if I make you guys a deal?"

"Like what, mon?" asked Kofi.

"Well, I just happen to have $5,000 in a private stash that I'm willing to share with you. If you let me stay." he explained.

"Where the hell did you get that kinda money?" asked HHH.

"From some imaginary place that none of you will ever visit. Now here's the deal. You guys vote for, let's say, Maryse to go, and I'll give you all an equal share of the profits."

"And you expect us to trust you?" asked Candice. "Sounds too good to be true."

"All right, if you want to pass up on some great money, fine with me." he said, walking away.

"Wait!" called HHH. "You sure on your word?"

"If I'm lyin, I'm dyin." he smirked.

"Al right, we'll do it." replied Taker.

Then Edge handed everyone $1,250.

"Wow, this is real cash, mon!" exclaimed Kofi. "He's telling the truth!"

"Yeah! C'mon, you guys, let's go vote off Maryse!" HHH said happily.

Edge had a satisfied smirk on his face as he followed his team to the Campfire of Truth.

Later, Team Smackdown joined Jericho for their second time at the Campfire…

"Well, welcome back, Smackdown! You all know why you're here, so let's just show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave this week." said Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Triple H: "Well, since I got my part of the deal, I'll say Maryse."

Matt: "I have no idea what Edge is up to, but you know I want him to go.

Jeff: "Well, Edge, of course. Anyone who associates with Randy is an enemy of mine."

Kofi: "I'm sorry, Maryse, but it's the end for you."

Edge: "Well, Maryse, sweet cheeks, your performance in the talent show was a bore fest, so you have to go. Sorry. Not."

Kelly: "Do I even have to say it? Edge!"

Michelle: "Hmm, I guess I'd vote off Maryse because she's GOTTEN ON MY LAST NERVE."

Maryse: "Ok, this week, I want that Michelle out of here because of that cellulite crack she made about me!"

Natalya: "Michelle insulted Maryse! Nobody disses the Divas of Evil! Nobody!"

Candice: "WHOOOOO! *throws cash into the air and then looks at camera* Oh, sorry. I vote for Maryse. WHOOOOO!"

Undertaker: "Money doesn't lie. It tells me that Maryse should go, and I'll listen."

-Back outside-

"Ok then. Most of the votes are unanimous. Here we go. Jeff." called Jericho.

"Wow, I'm first!" he exclaimed.

"Michelle."

"All right!"

"Triple H."

"King of Kings, baby!"

"Kelly."

"Awesome!"

"Matt."

"Sweet, we get to stick together for another day!" he exclaimed, joining his bro and his friends.

"Edge."

"I knew it." he said proudly.

"Candice."

"Yay!"

"Kofi!"

"Another day safe, mon!"

"Undertaker."

"As long as I got my 1200 bucks, I'm good."

"What?" asked Jericho.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." Taker said in a demon-like voice.

"Okay then. Maryse and Natalya, one of you stays and one of you goes down the walk of shame." he continued.

"NO! The Divas of Evil stick together!" cried Maryse.

"That's right! You can't break us up!" agreed Natalya.

"Well, the results reveal that…Maryse, you're outta here!" he exclaimed.

"NOOO!" they both screamed, holding onto each other.

"SECURITY!" he cried.

Two security guards dragged Maryse away and threw her onto the yacht.

"Natalya, REMEMBER MEEEEE…." She cried as the yacht sailed away.

"Heh. Looks like you're the only bad girl left." smirked Michelle.

"Yeah, I am! And even if Melina abandoned us, and Maryse is gone, I alone will keep the Divas of Evil standing strong!" she exclaimed.

Everyone just looked at her.

"Oh, what's the use!" she cried, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat.

"She'll never learn." Candice said with a smile.


	6. Episode 6

Total WWE Island: A Camping We Will Go

Episode 6

"Hey, everyone! You know who this is, the codebreaker, Y2J, Chris Jericho with yet another insane week ahead of

us. But to recap, last week, Cena's and Michelle's plan to make their crushes jealous came to a close when the two

really did decide to get serious with one another. But does Punk sense a hint of jealousy after all? Meanwhile, the

contest last week was a talent show set up by our two teams. Edge and Maryse brung no hope for Team

Smackdown, until Jeff brought down the house with a romantic serenade to Kelly Kelly, and a surprise reading from

Randy's diary! Rands wasn't too happy about that! Representing Team Raw, Santino didn't really pull through, while

sweet little Maria tried her gymnastics routine, with messy results. Cena originally came out to do a rap diss, but

instead beatboxed to a song to which none of us understood. Somehow, that scored the win for Team Raw, sending

Team Smackdown to the Campfire of Truth for the second week in a row. The result: Maryse takes the dreaded walk

of shame, officially breaking up the Divas of Evil. But will Natalya find a way to spark things up on her own? Will Cena

and Michelle make their relationship official? And will the battle between the Hardys and Rated RKO continue on?

Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Everyone was in the cafeteria, where Edge joined Randy, where he was probably planning something else…

"Hey Rands, what's up?" he asked.

"Hey. I'm just trying to plan some revenge after Jeff stole my diary. I mean, how'd he even find it? I had it stowed on the ceiling!" he exclaimed.

"How could you put a diary on the ceiling without it falling off?" asked Edge.

"Three words: Used Bubble Gum." he replied.

"Oh, that way."

"So I heard that Maryse got the boot last night. Did you convince your team to let you stay?" asked Randy.

"Sure did. I had a secret stash of $5,000 and I offered Triple H, Kofi, Candice, and Undertaker equal shares." he explained.

"Really? Did they give in?"

"Sure did. Rather quickly, I might add. It was a desperate stretch, but I will do anything to stay." Edge said with a smirk.

"Well, nice job, man. Now you can help me with the next plan that I just thought of." Randy said, smiling.

"Oh really? This is gonna be good." Edge agreed.

Meanwhile, Mickie and Melina caught Natalya sulking by a corner…

"Hey, Nattie, you all right?" asked Melina.

She turned around and glared at them. "Do I look all right?" she muttered.

"You wanna sit with us? I know you're bummed that Maryse is gone." said Mickie.

"Bummed? I'm FURIOUS! Now that my Diva in crime is gone, I have the sole responsibility of holding the Divas of Evil together!" she exclaimed.

"Nattie, just forget about that, ok? It doesn't make any sense holding an organization all by yourself." said Melina.

"So does that mean you guys'll join me?" she asked with hope.

"No. But you can join us." Mickie replied.

"Yeah! We're not gonna watch you sulk yourself into a slump!" agreed Melina.

"Fine!" she scoffed, as the two Divas literally dragged her to another table.

On another side of the room, John and Michelle were sharing a lunch together while CM Punk and Maria watched…

"Wow. Looks like nothing can tear those two apart, huh?" asked Maria.

Punk didn't hear her question, but just kept glaring towards the happy couple.

"Punky? You there?" Maria asked again.

"Oh! Sorry, what'd you say?" he asked.

"I said that nothing could tear those two apart."

"Yeah, seems that way." he agreed, still glancing over.

"CM, are you ok? You seem distracted." she said.

"No, I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Are you getting jealous of them?" she asked.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?" he asked back.

"Well, maybe because you're playing around in that mushy stuff they call lunch." she pointed out.

"Oh!" he cried, taking his hand out of the mess.

"It just seems weird seeing Cena with another woman, my best friend. I got so used to him being attracted to me for some reason." she said.

"Well, I'm still attracted to you." Punk said, giving her a kiss.

"Aw, sweetie! You're pretty damn attractive yourself." she replied with a smile.

"Well, this is really romantic, even if the lunch is always so crappy." Michelle told Cena.

"Never mind the lunch; it's just spoiling the mood. And my appetite." he replied.

"_Hey, YOU spend 15 hours slaving over a hot stove and THEN criticize my food again!"_ Big Show shouted from the kitchen.

Michelle laughed. "I agree, John."

"You know, I can just stare into your eyes all day if I wanted to." he smiled.

"John!" she blushed.

"They're so pretty and blue, like the sky."

"Ok, that was cheesy, but cute." she giggled. "And stop making me blush!"

"Another beautiful feature of yours." he continued, as the two laced their hands together. Meanwhile, Punk and Maria didn't look too thrilled.

"_Attention, Campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!" _announced Jericho.

Later…

"Buenos dias, mi amigos!" he greeted.

"What, are you announcing your trip to Mexico so you can leave and bring us some much needed joy?" Batista asked with a smile.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway, today's challenge is gonna be a fun one. You're all going…CAMPING! YAY!" he cheered, excited.

*crickets*

"…Yay." he finished meekly. "What's wrong?"

"Well, DUH! This is a CAMPsite, hence the word CAMP!" cried Melina.

"NO, there's a twist to it!" Chris said, annoyed. "Anyway, this won't be any regular camping trip. You guys are gonna be roughin' it. You can't bring your own food, everything you make has to be made from scratch, and most importantly, you'll all be miles away from here and your goal is to survive the night out there and THEN make it back to this exact spot by 7:00 AM tomorrow morning. Got it?" he asked.

*more crickets*

"You're crazy!" exclaimed Candice.

"Thanks! Now, I'll lead you guys to both teams' campsites. Let's GO!" he exclaimed, leading the gang away.

As they all hiked around the confusing paths of the woods, Edge and Randy lingered behind to discuss their plans…

"So, what's today's plan, Rand?" asked Edge.

"Well, now that I know that we're gonna be outdoors in the middle of the night, we could seriously scare the piss out of everyone, especially the Hardys and their little friend Kelly Kelly." he explained.

"I like it already. So you know exactly what we're gonna do?" he asked.

"Well, first—" he began.

They were so distracted that everyone else left without them.

"Aw, DAMN!" he exclaimed angrily.

"We'll find them. These woods shouldn't be too confusing." said Edge.

"I hope you're right or else some wild animal's gonna end up attacking someone, and it ain't gonna be me." Randy said, walking on.

"Yeah…HEY! Wait for me!" Edge called after him.

Hours later, Jericho and the gang arrived to both team's campsites…

"WOOHOO, we made it!" he cheered.

Everyone slowly followed, trying to catch their breath.

"You couldn't warn us about the run across that piranha filled lake?" Triple H asked, exhausted.

"Oh. Sorry. ANYWAY, Team Raw, your campsite is over there to the right, and Team Smackdown, yours is right here. Any questions?" asked Jericho.

"Yeah, I have one—" began Shawn.

"Too bad, you're on your own. *whistle*" he replied quickly. Then, someone driving a caddy picked him up and drove him back to their original campsite. "See you all tomorrow at 7!" he called.

"He had a car the whole time?" asked Undertaker.

"That's just like him." Matt agreed, shaking his head. "Anyway, I guess we'll meet again, Mickie." he told his girlfriend.

"I guess so, sweetie. I love you, Matt." she replied.

He kissed her. "I love you too, Micks."

Then, Melina and Maria had to drag her away from him.

"We'd hate to break up this little moment, but you have to get back with your team." announced Melina.

After Matt miserably rested his head in the palm of his hand, Jeff said, "Aw, I hate seeing you so miserable, bro."

"Yeah, are you gonna be all right?" asked Kelly.

"Puh." he shrugged.

"Want some skittles to cheer you up?" asked Jeff. "Skittles make even the saddest day filled with sunshine."

He mindlessly grabbed the skittles bag and tossed it somewhere else.

Shocked, Jeff gasped, "WHY?"

"Get a grip, dude." Matt replied flatly.

It was getting dark out, and now both teams had to work for themselves, but things would later get out of control…

Team Smackdown was all set, with their tent ready and a nice warm fire.

"Well, maybe this little camping trip won't be as bad as I thought." announced Triple H. "What do you guys want to do now?"

"Hey, let's tell ghost stories. I know one about a guy who got his head torn off by a savage lion. Blood was spewing out and his brains were drained out from—" began Undertaker.

"Whoa, whoa! Next, you're gonna say that you were the owner of the lion, right?" asked HHH.

"Yeah." he agreed with a twisted smile. "I took the guy's head with me. You want to know what I did with his body?"

"NO!" everyone cried.

"You're a sick man, mon!" cried Kofi.

Near their campsite, Natalya had her own evil plan in mind…

"They say that I can't handle the Divas of Evil on my own, but look at me now! I'll scare them all so bad, they'll be running back to Jericho like babies! Hahahaha!" she chuckled, putting on a bear costume.

While the rest of the team was chatting, she sneaked up to them with a realistic growl.

Michelle whipped around. "W-What was that?" she asked.

*Growl*

"Sounds like a—a—" began Matt.

Then, she jumped out from behind the bushes and charged towards them.

"BEAR!" everyone screamed. They all scattered around the place, while she kept approaching them.

Jeff held a tree branch to protect himself. "Stand back! D-Don't make me use this!" he exclaimed.

She (the bear) slapped the branch out of his hand.

"…To hell with this, we're gonna DIE!" he cried, about to head for the hills.

But when everyone was going crazy, Natalya took the mask off and laughed hysterically.

"Natalya?" asked Kelly.

"Wow, you guys are good! I even scared Undertaker? HaHA!" she laughed.

Taker was huddled by a bush. "You didn't scare me. Nobody does. I just dropped my…thing." he replied.

"That was the meanest trick ever!" exclaimed Candice. "Why'd you do it?"

"Because I wanted to prove to all of you that the Divas of Evil can still be controlled with just one member!" she replied.

"Oh, are you still on that?" demanded Triple H. "Melina quit, Maryse left, just let it go and join the rest of us!"

"Never. NEVER! The DOE will NEVER die!" she screamed, running crazily through the woods in her bear suit.

"She's gone off the deep end." concluded Michelle.

Meanwhile, things going on at Team Raw's campsite wouldn't go too well, either…

"So, we got everything set up. What now?" asked Batista.

"I made another-a list for all of the amazing things about-a my beautiful Glamazon!" announced Santino.

Then, an annoyed Batista snatched the list from him and tossed it into the fire. "Trust me. Me, you, and fire won't mix well." he said with a smirk.

"How dare you!" exclaimed the Glamazon. "My Tino worked hard on that list and you just disrespect him like that? I oughta slap the taste outta your mouth!"

"Go ahead and try." Batista replied.

"Now, hold it, hold it!" interrupted Santino. "Don't worry, we'll deal-a with him later. We've got a contest to win first."

"…Ok then. Anyone else have any plans?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah. I've got the greatest ghost story I can tell you guys." said CM Punk.

"How 'great' is this exactly gonna be?" asked John.

"You'll see. Ok, one night, this group of friends were going camping on a night like this one. They were bored, so they decided to go swimming to pass the time. Only, they didn't know what dangers lay ahead of them. When they reached the lake, they found out that the water was gross and contaminated, but they didn't care. They all leaped in, having themselves a good time until someone…or something pulled one of the campers under the dirty muck. His friends thought that he was playing a cheap joke on them. After all, who would really want to go underneath to meet whatever crap was under there? Minutes passed, and the guy still never came back to the surface. His friends began to worry, and were about to go under to find him. Until he did reach the surface. But this time, he didn't look normal at all. His skin was burned off, as if he were stricken with fire. His eyes were clawed out with a spoon. And clearly, he wasn't breathing. When his friends saw his near decapitated body, they all freaked out and ran for cover." Punk explained.

Mickie, Maria, and Melina all huddled close to one another in fear.

Batista had a grossed out look on his face.

Shawn stared with a hint of fear in his eyes.

Cena was thinking about running away and joining Team Smackdown.

And the Glamazon looked nervous, holding a trembling Santino in her arms.

"…but before they could do anything else, a dark figure blocked their path. He whipped out a blade that even Jason Vorhees would be afraid to compete with. Then, as the friends ran for their lives, he swiftly swung his sword, slicing one girl's neck open, cutting another guy clean in half, and jetted the blade right through another girl's heart. As the three lay dead, the figure disappeared. Even today, nobody knows where he could be. Who knows? Maybe he could be hiding out around this campsite. *stands in front of the fire* You could be next." he finished, while the glow of his face by the fire made it even more dramatic.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Mickie, Melina, and Maria screamed in fear.

"That good, huh?" Punk asked excitedly.

"You have a sick mind, you know that?" demanded John.

"Yeah, I do." he replied proudly.

"Well, thank you very much, now none of us'll be able to get any sleep tonight." said Shawn. "Could this night get any worse?"

Then, Maria bumped into the camp's tent, sending it straight into their fire. "..Oops." she replied.

"Our tent!" cried Melina.

"I spoke too soon." Shawn said flatly.

Meanwhile, Randy and Edge were still lost from their teams, and had to find a way to get back to the land of the living…

"Ok, now I'm getting pissed off!" exclaimed Randy. "It's pitch black out here, we can't find our way anywhere, and worst of all, my plan's ruined!"

"Now, calm down, Rands. We'll probably find our teams right behind…that tree!" replied Edge.

"You said that 35 trees ago." he replied dully.

"At least I'm not giving up like you!" he argued.

"I'm not giving up on anything! All I want is for my plan to be carried out. Now, let's keep on looking." he said.

While the guys kept walking, Natalya, still in her bear costume, caught them.

"Hahahaha…" she chuckled softly.

Then…

*Growl*

"What the hell was that?" asked Edge.

*GROWL!*

"Uh, it's probably the wind or something." Randy said nervously.

Then, Natalya leaped out of the nearby bush and charged towards them.

"Does THAT look like the wind to you?" demanded Edge.

"Man, just shut up and run!" exclaimed Randy.

Nattie kept on charging after the two while the guys ran away like crying little children.

Back at Team Smackdown's campsite, things would go from bad to worse…

"Have any 7s?" asked Undertaker.

"Go fish." replied Candice.

"I could really use some right now. I'll eat just about anything right now. I'm starving!" exclaimed Matt.

"You could've had those skittles, but you slapped them out of my poor little hand. Now whose fault is that?" Jeff asked while Matt smirked back at him. "Anyways, we'll just have to make something from scratch."

"All I see are some berries. I guess we can make that our dinner." suggested Kelly.

"I'll get em." replied HHH.

"Remember to get the right ones, mon!" called Kofi. "You know the old saying."

"Yeah, 'green and sweet are good to eat'." He replied, heading off.

"Not exactly, mon."

"Doesn't that go differently?" asked Michelle.

"Yeah. He'll end up paying for it." he replied.

A few minutes later, Triple H came back, carrying some green berries and eating most of them.

"That saying was so true. Green and sweet ARE good to eat!" he said with a smile.

"No, I think that the real saying is RED and sweet are good to eat." said Jeff. "RED and sweet."

"But what about green?" asked HHH.

"Green'll make you vomit, mon." replied Kofi.

"Wha? But they taste—"

Then, he suddenly didn't feel that well. "LIKE CRAP!" he cried, running off.

"We warned him." finished Matt.

A little later…

"I am never listening to you people again!" HHH pouted.

Suddenly, they heard another growl from the bushes, but Natalya was still off chasing Randy and Edge.

"Oh, not again!" cried Candice. "Will she ever learn?"

"I'll handle this." announced Taker. He approached the bear. "Listen, Natalya. Your trick isn't funny anymore, nor was it funny to begin with. So, would you just cut it out before I do that for you?" he asked.

*GROWL!*

"Did I mention that you need a mint?" he asked.

The bear came closer to them.

"Gee, Nattie. Those teeth are pretty realistic." Kelly said shakily.

*GROWL!* it roared, chasing after them.

"Quick! Up that tree!" called Jeff.

The team scurried up to the large tree while the bear destroyed their campsite.

"Aww!" everyone groaned.

"Damn, a real bear. Nature really does bite." Triple H sighed.

Back at Team Raw's site…

Everyone was trying to sleep, but every little noise scared the crud out of them…

*snap*

"AAH!" screamed Maria.

*crackle*

"Don't kill me!" cried Melina.

*pop*

"MOMMY!" cried Shawn.

"Hey, hold up…Do you guys smell something funny?" asked Cena.

"Uh…NO!" cried Santino.

Then everyone looked to where he was standing, and then looked down at the wet spot on the ground below him.

"EWW!" cried Melina.

"Dude!" cried Punk.

"I thought Randy was the only one with bladder problems." announced Batista.

"Hey, quit making fun of him!" cried the Glamazon. "That story you told was just too much for my poor Tino!"

"That's-a right!" he agreed. "That-a was over the line!"

"What, you wanted me to read something from out of a Dr. Seuss book?" CM Punk asked sarcastically.

They were silent.

"Yes." they replied.

"Ok, since we can't get any sleep, I say we just start finding our way back to home base." announced Mickie.

"She's right. It's gonna take us the rest of the night to get back, anyway, and we'll be back by 7:00." agreed Melina.

"Good plan, ladies." added Shawn. "Let's get outta here."

As the gang walked, Maria met up with Punk.

"Hey, I hope I didn't traumatize you with that story. I'm sorry if I did." he told her.

"Aw, it's ok. It was a great story." she replied. "Besides, even if I was traumatized, I'd have you to lean on."

He kissed her. "Of course, babe. I wouldn't let that madman lay a finger on your pretty self." he replied.

"Punky!" she smiled.

Then Cena walked past them, saying, "I really hope that Michelle's all right where she is."

"Hmm…" Maria and Punk mumbled, looking towards him.

While everyone walked on, Santino and the Glamazon accidentally turned another corner.

"Ok, where is everyone?" she demanded.

"Not to worry, my sweet." replied Santino. "This is probably just a short-a-cut. We'll be the first ones back and Glamorella will again beat all!"

She kissed him. "That's my Tino. Now, LET'S GO!" she exclaimed, dragging him away.

While they ran, they bumped into none other than…

"Randy!" cried Santino.

"Edge?" asked the Glamazon.

"Where the hell did you two come from?" demanded Randy.

"Where the hell did YOU two come from?" demanded the Glamazon.

"For your information, we were being attacked by a bear!" exclaimed Edge.

"Serves-a you right after all that-a you did!" exclaimed Santino.

"Well-well, why don't you just hop on a boat back to Italy, man?" Randy asked nastily.

"WHAT? Honey, did you just hear him?" he demanded.

"I'm gonna KILL you!" the Glamazon screamed to both of them.

"Just try, woman!" cried Edge.

Then, she suddenly slapped Randy clean across the face.

"OW! What the hell was that for?" he demanded.

"That was for what you said about me in your diary!" she replied.

"If anyone mentions my diary again, there's gonna be CONSEQUENCES and REPERCUSSIONS!" Randy cried, pissed off.

"LOL wut?" chuckled Edge.

"Oh yeah! That was hella funny!" called a voice.

Everyone whipped around.

"Oh my God! That bear can talk!" cried Edge.

Everyone shot him a look. Then, she took off the mask.

"No, you idiot, it's me!" she announced.

"Natalya?" they all asked.

"Why are you running around in a bear costume?" demanded Randy.

"I, Natalya, refuse to give up the Divas of Evil and will continue my reign of terror. *puts mask back on* HAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed crazily.

Then, the bear that attacked team Smackdown appeared behind her.

Everyone else was dead silent.

"What?" she asked.

"Looks like you have a boyfriend." said Edge.

"Huh?" she asked, confused. Then, she turned around to find the bear looking dreamily at her.

*Growl!* the bear smiled.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed, running off.

"Uh, uh…WAIT FOR MEEEE!" Natalya screamed along as the bear chased her.

Back at Team Smackdown…

"Can we come down now?" asked Matt, who was hanging upside down from the branch. "I can't feel my legs and all the blood rushed to my head."

"We can't take any chances." said Triple H. "If one of us comes down, that bear might attack again.

"But we can't stay up here forever!" argued Kelly. "We're gonna end up losing the challenge, one of us is going to have to go home, and there'll be less of a chance of one of us winning the $500 grand!"

Silence.

"Come on, let's get down from this deathtrap and win us some MONEY!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Yeah, no damned bear is gonna stop Team Smackdown!" added Michelle.

"YEAH!" everyone screamed as they charged back to camp.

The hours went by, and now it was about 6:00 in the morning. Who would make it to camp first?

Team Raw ran like the wind.

"Come on, you guys, I think we're almost there!" called Shawn.

"I can't keep up!" cried Maria. "These heels are killing me!"

CM Punk lifted her into his arms. "Now you can." he smiled.

"Hey, what happened to Santino and the Glamazon?" asked Cena. "They were right behind us!"

"They better catch up." said Batista. "We're on a roll now and we can't afford to lose again."

Team Smackdown was running like the speed of light, and they were even carrying torches and lighters like warriors.

"Forward men!...and women!" called Triple H. "We've got no time to lose!"

Then out of nowhere, Jeff lifted Kelly onto his back and started running again.

"WHOA! Jeff, what's going on?" she asked, surprised.

"Team Smackdown sticks together, don't we?" he asked with a wink.

Kelly smiled and blushed again. "Damn right!" she agreed with a giggle.

Randy, Edge, Santino, the Glamazon, and Natalya were also all trying to race back to camp.

"We're gonna make it!" cheered Santino. "Victory is-a mine!"

Then, Randy and Edge shoved them both down.

"Not anymore! C'mon, Edge!" Randy cried as they both sped off like the wind.

Glamorella was furious.

"COME ON, Santino! Those jerks just cost us some time!" she cried.

"I don't love you!..." Natalya cried as the bear kept chasing her.

While the Glamazon practically dragged Santino, it was 6:59 and everyone almost made it back to camp.

"Well, well, well." said Jericho. "Maybe they all got lost and won't come back after all. This was my best plan yet!"

Then, Team Smackdown, followed by Team Raw, Randy, Edge, and Natalya all arrived back just in time.

"Damn it." he muttered quietly. "Well, 7:00 on the dot. Congratulations, campers!"

"Randy, Edge, where the hell were you two the whole time?" Matt asked suspiciously. "…Not like I really cared or anything."

"We got lost from you guys! We were planning to scare the piss outta you all!" said Edge.

"Trust me, man. We've had enough scares for one night." Shawn said tiredly.

"Nattie?" asked Melina, seeing her in the bear suit.

"What?" she asked, catching her breath.

"I don't want to know." she replied.

"Hey Team Raw, where's Glamorella?" asked Jericho.

They looked around.

"Aw, hell!" exclaimed Batista. "They never caught up with us!"

"Can't you extend the time limit or something?" asked Mickie.

"Sorry. It's already past 7 and since everyone on your team didn't get here on time, you lost." He explained.

"WHOO! Hot damn!" cheered Jeff.

Team Raw glared at him.

"I mean, aww!" he corrected himself.

Later, Glamorella still didn't return from the woods yet, Team Raw was headed to the Campfire of Truth, and Michelle met up with Cena before he joined his team…

"John!" she called.

"Hey, Michelle!" he greeted, hugging her. "I'm glad you're all right. I was so worried about you back there in the woods."

"I was worried about you, too. I really missed you."

Then, John leaned in and kissed her, while she turned red.

"I really missed you, too." he replied.

"So, I guess you'll be at the Campfire of Truth, huh?" she asked.

"Yep. Wish me luck out there." he said, about to join his team.

"John, wait!" she called.

"Yeah?"

"Great kiss." Michelle finished, smiling.

He smiled back. "Thanks. Hopefully we can do that again sometime."

"Yeah, soon, I hope." she said to herself.

At the Campfire of Truth…

"Well, Team Raw, welcome back to the Campfire." said Jericho. "If you have anyone to blame, it's them."

As he said that, Santino and the Glamazon finally joined them.

"Please! Don't vote-a us off!" he pleaded.

"Edge and Randy shoved us down and made us lose our path!" cried the Glamazon.

Everyone else just glared at them, as Randy kind of sulked in his seat.

"What really matters is that you guys came in last, which cost your team the embarrassing loss." replied Jericho. "So before I get to the results, let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave."

-Hidden camera-

Batista: "I want them both outta here, but I'll vote for the Glamazon just to see how her little pet Santino could stand it."

John: "I pretty much find Santino annoying, so I'll vote for him."

Randy: "I want that Glamazon outta here! Yeah, she might be pretty attractive, but hell, she slapped me!"

CM Punk: "That Santino thinks that he's a better storyteller than me? Well, he can tell another story back home about how the hell he got voted off here!"

Santino: "Dave Batista, you disrespect me? Then you-a get to stepping!"

Shawn: "I'd like to see the break up of Glamorella. Glamazon, I'm sorry, but you're WAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY too controlling. Sorry."

Mickie: "Glamorella is the most annoying power couple on this show! I'd want to see Santino go."

Maria: "They made us lose! I think the Glamazon should go cause…she's mean."

Melina: "Santino's a wimp! He's acting like the Glamazon is his boss or something. I want him gone!"

Glamazon: "If anyone votes off me or my Tino, they will pay. I want Randy, that—that woman beater, outta here!"

-Back outside-

"Ok, now that everyone at home knows, let's begin with the results. Shawn…Melina…Mickie…Cena…Orton…Batista…Maria…and Punk." called Jericho.

The team smiled as their votes came true.

"Well, this is no surprise. Santino, Glamazon, one of you stays and one of you leaves. And the person leaving tonight is…"

Santino looked terrified as the Glamazon looked furious.

"Wait, I'm looking at these scores here and it says that you both have four votes each." he continued.

"So, Glamorella stays together, right?" asked Santino.

"No. Our tiebreaker is the one, the only, Big Show!" he exclaimed.

"Whoo. Glad to finally be out of that damn kitchen. " he said. "What's up?"

"Well, Santino and the Glamazon have four votes each, and you're our tiebreaker, so you make the final vote." Chris explained.

"Oh, that's an easy one." he said. "I want the Glamazon outta here."

"WHAT?" they both cried.

"Now wait a-just-a minute!" exclaimed Santino.

Team Raw held him back while Big Show escorted her to the yacht of suckers.

"No! NO! Get your hands off of me!" she screamed. "Nobody breaks up my Tino and I! NOBODY! GLAMORELLA FOREVER!" she yelled as the yacht sailed off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" sobbed Santino. "Why? WHY?"

"WHY IS EVERYBODY SCREAMING?" cried Maria.

"Come on, Dave, let's give him a swirlie to shut him up." said John.

"Good plan." he agreed happily.

"This just isn't my day! Stop-a the madness!" Santino shouted as the two took him away.

"Well, I never thought I'd see the day when Glamorella was split up." Shawn said with a smile.

"Yep, what a happy ending. C'mon, everyone, let's get some sleep." agreed Mickie.

Then, before they left, Natalya, still in the bear suit, kept running away from the lovesick bear.

"For the last time, I don't love you!" she yelled, running off.

The bear smiled and chased her around the camp.

Silence.

"…Weird." said Maria. "Well, nighty night!"


	7. Episode 7

Total WWE Island: Fear Factor

Episode 7

"Yo, everyone! You know who this is, Y2J, Chris Jericho with another shocking week of TWI coming right at ya! Last

week, the contest sent both teams to the wilderness to see if they could handle Mother Nature and her compadres.

Team Smackdown was doing fine at first, but then, a RABID BEAR ATTACKED THEM! But it was really Natalya who was

reprising her only role in the Divas of Evil. Meanwhile, Team Raw wasn't doing much better. CM Punk told his

teammates a gory horror story which caused a few screams…and an unexpected leak. Yeah, Santino pissed himself.

It was that bad. Anyways, the poor team was so terrified that they didn't get any sleep. Rated RKO was back with

another plan, but it backfired when they found themselves lost in the middle of nowhere. To make matters worse,

Natalya decided to attack them next! Back at Smackdown's camp, another bear attack happened…and it was a REAL

one! Terrified, everyone was forced to spend the night up in a tree. When time was winding down, it was every

team for themselves as it was a race to the finish. Glamorella got lost from Team Raw, met up with Rated RKO,

Natalya revealed her identity, and the bear that attacked Camp Smackdown apparently had a thing for her. Weird, I

know. In the end, Team Smackdown, followed by Team Raw, Rated RKO, and Natalya made it back to home base

just in time. But Glamorella was nowhere to be found, scoring Team Smackdown the win. Team Raw was pissed, and

when it was elimination time, the Glamazon ended up getting the boot. This week, will Punk and Maria come clean

about their hidden jealousy towards Cena and Michelle? And will Santino be able to get over the separation of

Glamorella? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

After the elimination of the Glamazon, Santino sobbed his eyes out all throughout the morning, annoying the hell out of his teammates…

"WHY? WHY-a did she have to-a go!" he cried.

CM Punk tried to block out the noise with his ipod.

Shawn buried his head under his pillow.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Ok, I'm gettin' pissed off now." Punk said, getting up.

"Same here. We gotta do something to shut him up." agreed Shawn.

"Well, he's crying in his sleep, but the point is, he's asleep. You want me to smother him?" he asked.

"Uh…maybe that's a little drastic. How about we toss him by that lake of piranhas?" Shawn asked with a smile.

CM lit up. "Sweet idea! That way, we can finally get some sleep, and he can get his ass bitten off at the same time!" he agreed.

Back at Team Smackdown's camp, there was a celebration for their win at the last contest…

Triple H brought in some green jello and a bag of gummy worms. "I had to sneak this stuff when Big Show wasn't looking." he told his team.

"Everyone, I propose a toast." announced Candice. "For surviving yet another elimination and proving that Team Smackdown can handle anything!"

"Yeah—Yay!—WHOO!" they cheered.

Everyone took a share of the jello except for Michelle.

"Michelle, don't you want some?" asked Kelly.

"No thanks. For some reason, Green Jello always freaks me out." she replied.

"How? It's just Jello." replied Matt.

"Yeah, but it's green like slime from some kind of monster! And it's all jiggly and gloopy!" she explained.

"Well, I've always been afraid of spiders." added Candice. "I mean, I know a lot of people are, but I'd just explode if one even comes near me."

"I'm afraid of that…bear…" Natalya said, trembling in the fetal position. "So…in love with me…"

Silence.

"Oook. Anyways, nobody really knows this, but I'm terrified of small spaces." announced Jeff.

"Jeff, you're claustrophobic?" Kelly asked, surprised.

"Yeah, are you?" asked Matt. "I never knew that."

"Yep. If I'm in like, some tiny, closed space in the dark, I have a hell of a hard time breathing." he continued.

"Wow, that's serious, man." replied Triple H. "My biggest fear is seeing Sledgie being used for some other purpose, and by anyone other than me."

"What do you mean, mon?" asked Kofi.

"If another person's using Sledgie for like, construction or something, I'll kick their face in!" he cried.

"But that's what sledgehammers are for!" laughed Michelle.

"Not MY Sledgie!" he cried defensively.

"I'm afraid of the Mullet hairstyle, mon." announced Kofi.

"Totally agree, dude. That was like, the worst hairstyle ever invented." agreed Matt.

"It's like your hair's running away from your face, mon!" he replied.

"Hehe. Anyway, I'm afraid of being buried alive." announced Kelly. "Just the thought makes me weak."

"Hey, I'll make sure that never happens to you, Kel." Jeff said with a smile.

"Aww, thanks, Jeff!" she smiled back.

"I guess this is pretty obvious, but I absolutely HATE mustard." announced Matt.

"But why?" asked Candice.

"I don't know. I just tasted it once and I had to bleach the taste out of my mouth. And it's just gross and…EVIL." he shuddered.

"Well, I'M the Rated R Superstar, and I'm not afraid of anything!" declared Edge. "Now if you can excuse me, I need to go join Randy."

"…Did you guys hear anything?" asked Undertaker.

"Nope—no."

"So, what are you afraid of, Taker?" asked Triple H with a smirk. "There's gotta be something."

"I'm the Deadman/the American Badass. Nothing scares me." he stated.

Everyone just looked at him.

"Clowns." he confessed. "Don't ask, it was a hot day."

Later that day, Michelle visited Team Raw's camp to find Cena…

"Hey, John!" she called.

"Hey, Michelle!" he replied, hugging her. "You heard the news, right?"

"No, what?"

"Glamorella's separated at last. The Glamazon got eliminated last night." he replied.

"About time!" she exclaimed. "How's Santino taking it?"

"You know, it's funny. I haven't heard a peep out of him all morning. Oh well, not like that's a bad thing." he replied.

Michelle laughed. "Agreed. So, how you doing?"

"Better now that you're here." he smiled.

"Well, I'm better now that I've found you." she smiled back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

While they were making out, CM Punk and Maria walked by.

"Punky, look!" she exclaimed. "Looks like those two are sealing the deal."

"Wow, they give the words 'sucking face' a new meaning." agreed Punk.

"I feel competition coming on." she announced.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, I was jealous of them, but now it seems like they're more romantic as a couple than we are!" she exclaimed. "We were first!"

"You've got a point there. Maybe we should compete with them and make THEM jealous of us." he agreed.

"How?"

"Like this." Punk replied, wrapping her in his arms, bending her backwards, and passionately kissing her.

Maria peeked over to see if they were looking, but Cena and Michelle were still making out.

"MMMMMMMMMM!" she mumbled as Punk kept kissing her.

John and Michelle turned around and found the scene.

"I guess they take public display of affection pretty lightly. C'mon, Michelle." said John.

"Hey, they left!" cried Maria. "Were we that bad?"

"No, I think they left to find another plan to make us jealous. It IS competition, remember?" Punk asked surely.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

"Speak of the devil." finished Punk.

A few minutes later, both teams met up at the auditorium…

"I-a made it!" announced Santino, who was soaking wet.

"What the hell happened to you?" asked Batista.

"It was a-weird. One minute I'm-a sound asleep in my bed, the next minute I'm-a getting my tushie bitten by a lake of piranhas!" he exclaimed.

Jericho bursted out laughing.

He glared at him.

"Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, teams, I overheard you all talking about your biggest fears." he said.

Then, everyone looked either surprised or pissed off.

"Uh, that is invasion of privacy!" exclaimed Candice.

"Hey! How'd you know about my fear of pickles?" demanded Shawn, standing up.

The gang turned their attention to him.

"Well, they're bumpy and green, and look like…never mind." he muttered, sitting back down.

"What, do you have hidden cameras around the campsite, Jericho?" asked Punk.

"Yeah." he said with a smile. "So now that I know about each and every one of your fears, I've decided to turn that into our next contest."

"What 'chu talkin' about, Jericho?" asked Triple H.

"In today's contest, you'll all have to face your biggest fears. And the rest is pretty simple. If you refuse to, you'll cause your team to lose and possibly face instant elimination." he said. "I have a list here, and Undertaker, you're lucky number one."

He glared at him. "…What?"

"That's right. You have to show me and the rest of the gang that you can overcome your fear of clowns." Jericho said, still smiling.

"The Undertaker's afraid of clowns?" laughed Randy, along with the rest of Team Raw.

Taker rolled his eyes in the back of his head. "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO KEEP LAUGHING?" he asked demonically.

*crickets*

"Taker, please do this. For us." pleaded Candice.

He sighed. "Fine. Bring em on."

Then, Jericho whistled and a fresh batch of random clowns piled out of their tiny car. Some danced, made funny sounds, and a couple of them threw pies at him.

"Come on, friend! Turn that frown upside down!" cheered a clown.

"Ok boys. That's good enough, thank you." said Chris.

After the clowns left, Undertaker just stood there with pie on his face.

"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?" asked Matt.

No reply.

"Undertaker?" asked Kelly.

…*THUMP!* He fell to the ground.

"Point for Team Smackdown!" exclaimed Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Undertaker: "…"

-Back outside-

"Ok, next up, John Cena." called Jericho. "Ready to show everyone if you can deal with your fear of…The Boogeyman?"

His eyes got big. "Boogey's here?" he asked, scared.

"He sure is." Chris replied with a sadistic smile. "Oh, Boogey?"

"_I'm the Boogeyman, and I'm coming to get you!"_

Cena looked terrified as Boogey came out with a handful of worms.

"Hey, John Cena. Remember me?" he asked, drooling.

"Y-Yeah."

"Well…BOO!" he cried.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in terror.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed evilly. "Hey, guess what I've got."

He was huddled in a corner. "A restraining order?"

"No…WORMS!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shrieked.

"Time to eat! HAHAHA!" Boogey laughed.

"No…NOOOO!" Cena yelled.

"Cena, if you run away, you'll be forfeiting the contest!" called Jericho.

Then, Boogey held him down and forced the worms in his mouth. Michelle looked in terror along with everyone else. After that, Boogey ran away, laughing crazily. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA….!"

Everyone rushed to Cena, who was leaning over a garbage can.

"John, are you all right?" asked Michelle.

"Wasn't that traumatizing?" asked Batista.

"Yes…*BLEEHHH!*…and yes." he replied weakly.

-Hidden Camera-

John: "I am permanently scarred for life."

-Back outside-

"Natalya, you're up." announced Jericho. "And I've got your special guest right here."

"What the hell are you talking about, Jericho?" she snarled.

Then, the bear that had a crush on her from the previous episode appeared.

"AAH!" she shrieked.

"You have to kiss Mr. Bear in order to stay in the game." he explained.

"You're crazy!" she snapped.

"Natalya, do you want this team to lose or not?" demanded Jeff.

"No." she sighed. "I'll do this. But only a peck."

Mr. Bear ate a whole pack of mints and got himself ready.

She slowly moved in and quickly kissed the bear.

"UGH!" she cried.

Mr. Bear ran away happily.

"If any of you laugh, I'll kill you." she muttered.

"Ok, next up, Mickie James!" he announced.

"Oh God, no." she bit her lower lip.

"You ready to show us your fear of roaches?"

"No." she squeaked.

"Mickie, you can do this!" said Maria.

"She's right. You need to do this for the team." agreed Melina.

Mickie sighed. "All right. What do I have to do?"

"You have to stick your head in this bucket filled with roaches for 60 seconds." replied Chris. "Think you can handle it?"

"…" she replied, speechless.

"Micks, even though I'm on the other team, I'm speaking to you as your boyfriend." said Matt. "Just think about getting it over with and before you know it, you'll be done. I believe in you."

She smiled. "Thanks, Matt. I love you." she said sincerely.

"I love you, too."

Then, she headed for the roach bucket.

"You ready?" asked Jericho.

She took a deep breath. "Yes." After that, she quickly stuck her head inside.

"Time starts…NOW!"

Her team and members from the other team cheered her on, too. Seconds went by and Matt was getting worried. "You all right, babe?" he asked.

Her chest was heaving up and down, but she managed to give him a thumbs up.

Then…

"TIME!" called Jericho.

Mickie quickly got out of the roach infested bucket and shook any bugs out that were still in her hair. Next, she ran into Matt's arms, crying in relief.

He hugged her tightly. "It's all over now. You all right?" he asked.

"Yeah. Thanks for being there with me." she replied.

He kissed her forehead. "No problem."

"Next up, Triple H!" announced Jericho. "I've got something that means the world to you."

He turned serious. "No."

"Yes." he smiled. "Say hello to your beloved Sledgie!"

As Jericho held up the sledgehammer, the King of Kings boiled in rage. "GIVE…HER…BACK!" he demanded.

"Nope. You are forced to watch me do unthinkable things with your baby." Chris said, his sadistic smirk growing even wider. "Team Smackdown, hold him back and make sure that he doesn't take his eyes off for one second."

Everyone did what they were told while Triple H turned red. Then, to his horror, Jericho kissed Sledgie, and then forcefully threw it towards a wall.

"SLEDGIE!" HHH screamed.

Then, Jericho gave it a bubble bath, he dressed it up with a bow and dress, and even put makeup on it. Finally, he kissed it one last time. "Ok, I'm finished." he replied with a satisfied smile.

"Damn right you're finished. RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Triple H screamed as he tried to charge towards him, but his team held him back with all they had.

"Hey, hey, Hunter, look! Look at the shiny spoon!" Shawn said, calming his friend down.

He eased up and his eyes sparkled. "…Shiiiiiny…"

Jericho chuckled. "Ok, Batista, you're up." he said.

"Do I really have to?" he asked, dully.

"Yep. You have to show everyone here your fear of dentists!"

Edge laughed. "Dude, you're afraid of dentists?"

"Oh, shut up! Have you seen those drills that they use when they want to give you a goddamned root canal?" he cried back.

"Hello, Dave." said a dentist that seemed to have appeared from out of nowhere.

"…Wut?" he asked, shocked.

"You missed your last appointment. IT'S TIME TO DRILL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed evily.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Batista screamed as the evil dentist drilled his teeth.

"And for being such a good boy, you get a free toothbrush as a reward!" he replied.

"Wow, that IS something to be afraid of." said Maria.

-Hidden camera-

Dave: "Ok, if you think that being afraid of the dentist is wrong, just hear me out: root canal = mouth full of hell."

-Back outside-

As the day went on, Candice conquered her fear of spiders, Melina conquered her fear of rats, Kofi conquered his fear of mullets, CM Punk conquered his fear of ants, and Maria conquered her fear of dead bugs. Next, it was Matt's turn to face his fear of mustard…

"All right, Matty boy, you ready for this?" asked Jericho.

"Uh…" he said nervously.

"All you have to do is go hot tubbin' in this Jacuzzi filled with delicious, CREAMY, golden yellow mustard!"

"Jericho, are you TRYING to make me lose?" Matt demanded.

"I didn't say anything." he said quickly. "Anyway, you either do this or make your team lose. Your choice."

He looked at the tub of mustard, and back at his team.

"Matt, you know you can do this, man!" called Jeff.

"Yeah, just pretend that it's whipped cream…only yellow!" exclaimed Kelly. "Oh, that didn't come out right."

"Matty," said Mickie. "You helped me out when I went, so I'll return the favor. If I could do my contest, then you sure as hell can. I believe in you 100% and you can hold my hand the whole time."

He smiled. "Well, now that you say that, I do feel a little more confident. Aw, what the hell, let's do this!" he exclaimed.

"Ok, you just have to stay in there for 60 seconds. Ready?" asked Chris.

He looked at his girlfriend. "More than I'll ever be."

He stepped into the Jacuzzi. "And…TIME!" called Chris.

While he was surrounded by the yellow mess, he began turning a little green.

"Matty, you all right?" asked Mickie.

"I'll—I'll be fine." he replied, feeling queasy.

"10 seconds left." said Chris.

"You're almost there, babe, you can do this!" she cheered.

"And TIME!" he called.

His team cheered as Mickie said, "Yes! I knew that you could do this, baby!"

Matt turned more green than before. "Wonderful. Now, will you excuse me for a moment?" he said before leaning over and heaving.

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "Remind me to kill Jericho later on."

-Back outside-

"HBK, you're next." he called.

"I know that we're mortal enemies, so are you gonna degrade me for your own personal pleasure?" he asked.

Jericho smiled gleefully. "You know me so well, Shawn Michaels. So, since you're afraid of pickles, I brought in a special guest." *whistles*

Shawn looked in terror as a guy in a pickle suit approached him with a basket filled with pickles.

"Hey, mister! Care for a delicious, crunchy pickle?" he asked.

"NO! G-Get away from me!" Shawn exclaimed.

"Hahahahahahahaha!" Mr. Pickle laughed while he danced around him in circles.

"Leave me alone! I-I hate pickles! Especially dancing ones!" he cried.

"Hehehehehehehehehe! Eat a pickle! It's GOOD!" Mr. Pickle chanted, waving one in his face.

"Get that disgusting thing outta my face!" he freaked out.

"WHOOOOOOOOO!" he cheered, shoving one in his mouth. Then, he ran away. "WOOP, WOOP, WOOP, WOOP…!"

Everyone stared as Shawn just stood there with a pickle dangling in his mouth.

"Dude, you all right?" asked Punk.

"Mmm. You know, this thing ain't half bad." HBK said with a smile.

Jericho's smile faded. "What?"

"You got any more of these?" he asked, munching.

Then, Big Show came out with a whole tub full of the stuff. "Hey, just got a huge supply of pickles. Anyone want any?" he asked.

"MEEEEEEEEE!" Shawn cried happily, leaping in the tub.

"Talk about conquering your fear." Mickie said, surprised.

"Puh. Anyways, next up, Michelle McCool!" announced Jericho.

"Why me?" she asked in despair.

"So, I found out that you're afraid of Green Jell-o. Your challenge is to eat this whole bucket full of the stuff. Think you can handle it?" he asked.

She sighed. "You know what? I'm tired of being afraid. It's only Jell-o, damn it. So HELL yeah, I can handle it!" she said confidently.

Her team cheered while Cena said, "That's my girl!"

"Bring it on!" she exclaimed.

"All right, then. Bring on the green stuff!" he called.

Before Jericho could even say 'go', she dug in right away.

"YEAH, Chelle!" cheered John.

In about a minute's time, she cleaned the bucket and angrily threw it against a wall. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed in triumph.

As her team cheered, Jericho said, "Wow, Batista, I think she just took away your nickname for herself."

"I'm the only Animal around here." he said confidently.

She growled at him.

"Ok, ok, you can borrow the damn name, just don't bite off my head!" he cried.

"All right, Randy Orton, you're next." called Jericho.

"Aw, come on! I'm not afraid of anything!" he replied, crossing his arms.

"Oh, really?" he said, holding up the precious diary.

He grew angry. "Where the hell did you find that?" he demanded.

"Doesn't matter. Now, since you're so protective of this thing, let's see just how much you can take seeing this little thing being tortured." Chris said with another sick smile.

"Hell no!" he cried.

First, he got a match, lit it up, and held it near the diary.

"Jericho, don't! I'll—I'll do anything!" Randy pleaded.

"Really? Then spit shine my shoes and I'll let you off the hook." he replied.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" he snapped.

"Do it, or it's goodbye to Randy's lil diary!" he snapped back.

"Fine, all right?" he muttered, annoyed. He did what he was told and spit shined both of his shoes. "There, you happy now?" he demanded.

"Hmm, yeah. Go fetch." he said, flinging the diary in another direction.

"I'll get you, Jericho!" Randy cried as he chased after his diary.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "How the hell do people keep finding my damn diary? Am I gonna have to hide it under Edge's bed? And trust me, you would NOT want to go under there."

-Back outside-

"Next up, Kelly Kelly!" announced Jericho.

"No…" she sighed.

"So, you ready to be buried alive?" he asked.

"In all honesty, this stunt is way more dangerous than anyone else's here. Are you just gonna throw me in a ditch and throw dirt in my face?" she demanded.

"I may be cold, but I'm not heartless." said Jericho. "You're gonna have to be locked in a box and THEN be buried alive!"

"WHAT?" she cried.

"Jericho, that's going a little too far!" exclaimed Jeff. "She could suffocate in there! Are you insane?"

"She's not gonna suffocate. I'll leave in an air tube so that she can breathe, and she'll only be under there for 60 seconds. Sounds fair?" he asked.

"Jeff, I don't know if I can do this." she turned to her friend.

"I know it's hard, but you need to do this for the team. You can handle this, Kel, and if you start to freak out, then just grab my hand and I'll be right here with you." he said sincerely.

"Ok." she replied. "Let's do this."

Soon after that, she was put into this glass box a couple of feet into the ground, and Jericho began to bury the box, so that only her arms and breathing tube were visible.

"All right, you got 60 seconds starting…NOW!" he called.

"Kel, you all right?" called Jeff.

She gave him a thumbs up.

"You sure she's gonna be all right?" asked Matt.

"Yeah, that breathing tube's the tiniest thing I've ever seen." agreed Michelle.

"She should be fine." Jeff replied. "Kel?"

No reply.

"Kelly, you all right?" he called.

Still no reply.

"Jericho, get her out of there!" cried Candice.

"5..4..3..2..1..TIME!" he called. After Kelly was dug out, she was still a little lightheaded.

"Kel, say something. Are you all right?" Jeff asked, worried.

"I..I think so. What happened earlier?" she demanded.

"What do you mean?"

"I was feeling around for your hand since time started, and you weren't there!" she cried.

"Yes, I was, Kel! I just turned around for one second to talk to Matt and Michelle, but I was right here the whole time!" he argued.

"Save it for later, Jeff." she cried angrily, walking away.

"Oook, so next up is…" Jericho began slowly.

"Me!" Jeff interrupted.

"So, you're gonna try and conquer your claustrophobia for a minute?" he asked.

"You know what, make it 5 minutes." Jeff replied, still looking in Kelly's direction.

"Jeff, this is dangerous for you, you could end up suffocating!" cried Matt.

"It's either that, or I forfeit and make the team lose. And if that happens, I want each and every one of you to vote me off." he continued seriously.

Kelly turned around, concerned. "Jeff, no! Don't do this to yourself!"

"Yeah, man, you're like, the strongest member of the team!" agreed Triple H. "We're not gonna vote you off."

"All right, then. Jericho, bring it on." Jeff smirked.

A few minutes, Jeff crawled into a small metal box, while Jericho gave him some last minute instructions…

"All righty, Jeff, five minutes it is! Now, you—" he was interrupted when Kelly shoved him out of the way and told him, "Jeff, wait!"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier. You're my best friend and I just want you to be careful in there." she replied.

He took her hand. "I'll be fine, Kel. I'll be fine." he smiled back.

Then, Jericho shoved her out of the way in retaliation and locked the box. "Ok, time starts…NOW!"

As the minutes went by, everyone waited to see if he would make it out ok.

"Three minutes in!" called Jericho. "You quit?"

"_I never quit!"_ he called back.

Seconds passed by and the gang was worried that they didn't hear a word from him.

"Jeff, you ok?" called Kelly.

No reply.

"JEFF!" she cried.

"Come on, speak to us, man!" cried Matt.

"5..4..3..2..1..TIME!" called Jericho. After he unlocked the box, the gang found Jeff near unconsciousness.

"Jeff!" cried Kelly.

Matt shook him. "Wake up, man, can you hear me?"

Fortunately, he came to. "…Did I make it?" he asked groggily.

"You sure did, bro!" Matt replied, hugging him. "Don't ever scare us like that again."

"Scare you guys?" he asked, confused.

"You were unconscious! We kept calling your name and you didn't answer. I'm just so glad that you're all right." Kelly replied, wrapping him in a hug.

"Ok, you guys, one person left from each team and next up will be…Santino Marella!" announced Jericho.

"I'm-a too upset to-a go!" he sobbed. "I miss-a my Glamazon!"

Then, Batista grabbed him by the collar. "If you make us lose again, you're gonna pay." he said threateningly. "PAY."

He sniffled. "All right. What-a do-a I have to-a do?" he asked.

"Well, I found out about your fear of chickens and I happen to have a few right here!" he said, smiling.

"Oh-a no! Please, don't-a do this!" he exclaimed.

"LET'S BRING OUT THE CHICKENS!" announced Y2J.

Then, a herd of chickens sprawled out, trying to attack Santino.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" he shrieked like a girl while the chickens clucked after him.

"Santino, if you don't stay in that pen, you forfeit!" called Chris.

He looked at the chickens charging towards him, then saw his team staring bullets through him.

"Aw!" he cried, leaping over the pen anyway.

"All right! Santino, you forfeit the contest!" announced Jericho.

He ran over to his team. "I'm-a sorry! But I cannot handle the-a chickens!" he exclaimed.

"You ARE a chicken." Melina scoffed. "What a damn shame."

"Well, Team Raw, don't get disappointed yet. Now it's Edge's turn and if he fails, then you're both tied. But if he wins, you guys lose." Chris explained.

"Now that'll be pretty obvious." replied Edge. "I, the Rated R Superstar, like Randy, am not afraid of ANYTHING that you tell me to do! So bye-bye Team Raw. What's my stunt, Jericho?"

"Well, since you're so confident, I saved the best stunt for you. Observe." Jericho said, unraveling a huge water tank filled with snakes and piranhas.

Everyone gasped.

"Damn." muttered Randy.

"Edge, you're gonna be tied up and at the bottom of that tank. You have to untie yourself, get past the snakes and piranhas, and reach the top of that tank before your 2 minutes are up. Think you can do that?" he asked.

Edge looked like he was about to piss himself. "Y-Yeah! A two year old can do that!" he replied while some interns were tying him up.

After he was sent to the edge of the tank, Jericho asked, "Hey, anyone want to push him in?"

"Uh, that'll be me!" Matt said with an evil grin.

"Now, calm down, man—" began Edge.

"I've always wanted to do this." Matt replied, shoving him inside.

"Time starts…NOW!" called Jericho.

Both teams watched anxiously as he fumbled, trying to untie himself.

"CHOKE!" called Cena.

Seconds went by, and Edge was still trying to get himself loose.

"One minute in!" called Jericho.

"Come on! If we lose, we're voting you off!" called Undertaker.

After that, Edge snapped to attention and was quickly able to get himself free.

"15 seconds left!" yelled Chris.

Then, he swam, almost getting bitten by a snake, and then escaped a school of piranhas by an inch.

"5..4..3..2.."

Then, Edge made it to the top and climbed out. "OOF!...I'M ALIVE AND WELL!" he cheered.

"TIME!" called Jericho.

Everyone waited for the results.

"Congratulations…Team Smackdown!" he exclaimed.

Everyone on the team cheered as Team Raw looked disappointed yet again.

"I'm-a doomed man." Santino said meekly as everyone glared at him.

Later that night, Team Raw met up with Jericho at the Campfire of Truth for another elimination…

"Ok, we all know why we're here, and most importantly, who got us here." he said casually.

Everyone glared at Santino again.

"I'm-a used to it." he replied.

"Ok, before I get to the results, let's show everyone who you wanted off. Even though this probably won't be a surprise." he said flatly.

-Hidden Camera-

Batista: "Well, the Glamazon left and now Santino can join her."

John: "Santino's killing this team!"

Randy: "I enjoy seeing Santino so miserable without his boss, the Glamazon, but hell, he needs to go."

Punk: "I'll be happy to see Santino go so that none of us has to deal with his bitching around."

Santino: "I-a miss you, Glamazon!" *cries*

Shawn: "Bye Bye, Tino."

Mickie: "I'm not even surprised that we lost. Santino's being such a wimp!"

Maria: "Santino's being super annoying, so I want him off next. Okay? :) "

Melina: "Do you even need to know my answer? Santino, DUH!"

-Back outside-

"Ok, the votes are unanimous. When I call your name, come up and grab a smore." said Jericho. "Mickie…Shawn…Cena…Maria…Punk…Batista…and Melina."

"What the—" cried a shocked Randy. "I'M STILL HERE?"

"All right, Randy, Santino, one of you stays and one of you leaves. And the person leaving is…"

Randy looked furious.

Santino looked nervous.

"No big surprise. Santino." he revealed.

"Aw, I-a know. Farewell, Team Raw, we shall meet again!" he said, heading towards the yacht of suckers.

"Tino!" cried a voice on the yacht.

He looked up and saw the Glamazon waiting for him.

"AAH! Honey, you came back for me!" he cried, leaping on the boat.

"I told you, nothing can separate Glamorella." she said with a smile. "Come on, let's go show off somewhere."

As the yacht left, he replied, "YES! Victory is-a mine! Haha!"

"Let's face it, those two belong together." said Batista. "They were meant for each other. Nobody else would put up with either one of em!"


	8. Episode 8

Total WWE Island: Rocky Road

Episode 8

"Hello, TV Land! This is the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, Chris Jericho here with another crazy week here on TWI! But

first, let's recap. Last week, Cena and Michelle grew closer, while Punk and Maria wanted competition with them.

Santino just couldn't get over the elimination of his girlfriend, the Glamazon, and annoyed his team to hell in the

process. Meanwhile, everyone told each other about their biggest fears, while I secretly listened on. So, I had a brilliant

idea to make the next contest a face your fear competition, where everyone had to either face their fears or get the

boot. Undertaker somehow faced his fear of clowns, Cena was scarred for life by the presence of the boogeyman, I

tortured Triple H by taking his Sledgie, Mickie, with the help of Matt, conquered her fear of roaches, Natalya met up

with Mr. Bear yet again, Shawn got over his fear of pickles, and got a liking to them, Matt conquered his fear of

mustard, I threatened to burn Randy's diary, haha, Batista got a little visit from the dentist, and Michelle wolfed

down the green jell-o that she was 'afraid' of. Kelly had to face her fear of being buried alive, with the help of Jeff,

but when time was up, drama began. When she turned her back to him, he volunteered to go next to face his

claustrophobia, and even raised the bar for his team by going in for 5 minutes! He did so, but ended up unconscious

when time was up. Fortunately he came to, and Jeff and Kelly got things back on the right track. Edge claimed not to

be afraid of anything, and proved so by escaping a snake/piranha filled tank. Santino, still upset, refused to face his

fear of chickens, causing Team Raw the loss and getting himself eliminated. But none other than the Glamazon met

him at the yacht of suckers, and the two were reunited again. This week, will Cena and Michelle take things to a new

level? And with only 8 people left on their team, will Team Raw ever make a comeback? Find out this week on Total…

WWE…Island!"

* * *

Early the next morning, both teams were sound asleep when Jericho's voice on the loudspeaker woke them up.

"_Attention campers, please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!...GET THE HELL UP!"_

Soon enough, everyone, still exhausted, did what they were told.

"What's the meaning of this?" demanded Triple H. "It's only 6:00 in the morning, damn it!"

"Well, I called you all here to get our next challenge started early. Today, you're all going on a three part canoe race to Corny Island! " he announced with a smile.

"Don't you mean Coney Island?" asked Candice.

"Nope!"

"And isn't that about 10 miles away from here?" asked Cena. "It'll take us all day to do this!"

"And that's exactly why I woke you all up. Now, both teams'll be in a race to the finish. When I say that this race will be in three parts, I mean that the first part will take both teams down the steepest waterfall you'd ever seen in your lives. Now, if you survive that, the second part will bring you through a tunnel of flames, and you have to be careful. One wrong move and you could screw yourself up. AND if by some miracle you survive that, the third part will bring you to the roughest, most dangerous waters you'll ever be in. Your canoes might be destroyed in the process and you may not make it outta there in one piece, but nonetheless, whichever team reaches Corny Island first wins!" he explained. "Now, I say we get this show on the road!"

A few minutes later, both teams got settled in their canoes, but things would later get a little crazy…

"Ok, you guys ready?" asked Jericho.

"HELL NO!" they replied.

"GOOD! Ready, set, get outta here!" he exclaimed as they headed off. "Now, I can spend a day with my Lay-Z-boy, my Pringles, and my TV so that I can see them all fail at the race, haha. What a great day."

As both teams were off, John caught Michelle. "Hey, Michelle!" he called.

"Hey!" she called back.

"After the race, you wanna get an ice cream or something?"

"I'd love to! If we even make it through the race first!" she replied.

"Well, even if we get separated from our teams, we could always meet up and find a way to the island ourselves!" he called back.

"Yeah! We can make a pit stop and get some alone time somewhere!" she agreed.

He smiled back. "We could really use that!"

Meanwhile, Punk and Maria heard the whole conversation.

"So, they're getting some alone time, huh?" asked Punk. "Well, if we want to compete with that, we've got to come up with something better!"

"Ok, you guys really need to get a life of your own." Melina said, raising an eyebrow.

"Like what?" Maria asked Punk.

"I say we follow them around and study what they do. Then we can think up something to make them jealous of us! What do you think?" he asked.

"Awesome! Works for me!" she agreed. "Uh oh."

"What?"

"WATERFALL!" she screamed.

Everyone snapped to attention and found part one of their challenge.

"GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shawn screamed as both teams came flying down the steep waterfall.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" the gang screamed in terror.

"WOOHOO!" cheered the Hardy boys.

"You guys are ENJOYING this?" asked Kelly.

"Yeah! Jericho wasn't lying, this thing is steep as hell! WOOHOO!" cheered Jeff.

"Hell yeah! What a rush!" agreed Matt.

Melina stuck her head outside the canoe, but then a fish jumped out and slapped her across the face. "HOW RUDE!" she cried. "I oughta have sautéed for dinner!"

As both teams continued flying down, Mr. Bear appeared behind Natalya.

She turned around and…"AAH! What—How'd you get here?" she demanded.

He leaned in for another kiss.

"BITE IT, FATHEAD!" she cried, whacking him in the face with her oar, sending him flying somewhere else.

-Hidden Camera-

Natalya: "I swear, if I see that bear one more time…UGH!"

-Back outside-

Both teams' canoes were still nearing the end of the steep waterfall, but part two of the challenge was up ahead…

"OW!" cried Randy.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" asked Batista.

"Uh, I'm injured!" he cried.

"What's injured?" asked Shawn.

"My finger! Just look at it!" he exclaimed.

Shawn looked to find a tiny little piece of wood stuck inside. "You're kidding." he said flatly.

"Do I LOOK like I'm kidding?" demanded Randy.

"Dude, it's just a damn splinter!" cried Punk. "Grow up, will ya?"

"Grow up? I'll show you, 'Grow up'!" Randy yelled, stealing his team's paddles.

"HEY!" cried the girls.

"Give those back, you jerk!" cried Cena.

"Yeah, we'll lose without them!" exclaimed Maria.

He had an evil smirk on his face. "Nobody helps me with my finger, nobody gets their paddle back." he replied.

"I'll give you a finger." Batista muttered.

"Oh yeah, Orton?" asked Punk. "We'll see about that, you son of a bitch!" he cried, tackling him down.

"Guys, knock it off!" Batista cried, trying to break them up.

Soon, they reached part two of the challenge, and they found themselves in the flaming tunnels…

Punk and Orton were still fighting.

"You really want these back?" asked Randy. "Well, come get em!" he cried, throwing the team's paddles in the fire.

"NO!" they cried, shocked.

Meanwhile, Team Smackdown was in the lead…

"Whoa, what happened to Raw's boat?" asked Undertaker.

"Looks like Randy's stirring up trouble again, mon." replied Kofi.

Edge smiled in delight. _"Yes, great job, Rands. I wonder if I could do anything with my team."_ he thought.

"Well, looks like we're in the clear." replied Michelle. "We've got this race."

"I wonder how the fire stays lit with all this water around here." said Kelly.

"I have no idea, but either way, it's hot as hell in here." replied Jeff.

"Not as hot as you are." Kelly replied, blushing.

He smirked back. "Yeah? Well, I think that you're twice as hot as that fire." he replied.

"Oh, Jeff!" she replied, giggling.

"Oh, Kelly!" he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her.

Then, they looked in each other's eyes and leaned in for—

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" screamed Candice.

Everyone whipped around to see what was going on.

"Candy, what's wrong?" asked Triple H.

"Giant…bug…on my head. GET IT OFF!" she screamed as there was a HUGE spider on her head.

"All right, hold on." said Matt.

"I'll take care of this." said Natalya. She bonked her head with her paddle, killing the bug at the same time. "You don't have to thank me. I didn't want to do it either way."

"Oh, great. Thank you for leaving a DEAD BUG on my head! AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Candice screamed.

"Oh, all right, hold on!" Edge said, using the paddle to sweep the bug off of her head. "Happy now?"

She sighed in relief. "Yes. Wait…Edge saved me?" she asked, confused.

"WHA?" asked everyone else.

"That will be the ONLY time I do something nice. Don't get used to it." he replied. "You know what, I think hanging around all of you is causing me to become…good. Oh, I gotta get outta here!"

"Edge, what the hell are you doing?" asked Undertaker.

"I'll swim to Corny Island! See you there!" he cried, leaping in the water.

"Good riddance." muttered Matt.

"Uh, should we go after him or something?" asked Candice.

"Nah, he says he'll make it to the island on his own, and since he's a big show off, he'll keep his word." said Triple H. "Besides, now there's more room in the boat!"

Back where Team Raw was, Randy managed to single handedly turn the entire team against him…

"Thanks a lot, Orton. Now we're gonna lose." Cena said, glaring at him.

"Again." finished Mickie.

"Hey, you all should've thought of that before you chose to ignore me." replied Randy.

"And I thought that Santino was the most annoying. Boy, was I wrong." Batista said dully.

"Ok, we can't just sit here arguing all day, or we really are gonna end up losing." said Punk.

"Hey, you guys, when I went canoeing once, I lost the paddle to my boat, too. But I remember someone helping me by pushing my boat back to shore!" Michelle called from the other team. "Just thought I could help!"

"Now, that's a good idea." agreed Batista.

Then, Randy had a brilliant idea. "I could do that for you."

"Oh, hell no!" cried Cena. "We can't trust him, you guys."

"But I threw your paddles in the fire! Shouldn't I be the one to do all the work and push this thing to the island while you guys sit back and relax?" he asked. "It'll be like my apology to you guys."

They were silent for a moment.

"You sure this isn't a trick?" asked Shawn.

"Cross my heart." he replied, leaping in the water. When the rest of the team saw that he was keeping his word, they smiled in agreement.

"This is fun. This is a fun time." Mickie said, smirking.

Hours passed by and it was about 3:00 in the afternoon. Both teams were about to enter part 3 of the contest…

"Whoo! We finally made it outta that fire!" announced Matt.

"And soon enough, too. Looks like hell is coming up next." Triple H said, pointing to the rough waters and jagged boulders.

"Well, do you guys see the island yet?" asked Kelly.

"Not yet." replied Matt. "We'll probably be there soon enough, I hope."

Meanwhile, Edge was way ahead of them, but then found someone swimming beside him. "Randy!" he exclaimed.

"Edge? How the hell did you get here?" he asked.

"I think my team's goodness is starting to rub off on me. So I decided to find the island on my own. What about you? Why are you doing…this?" he asked.

"Well, get this. I had a splinter in my finger and no one wanted to help me! Can you believe that?" he asked.

"NO! How selfish of them!" Edge agreed.

"Yeah! So in return, I grabbed their precious paddles and threw them in the fire." he replied.

"Good plan, Rand, but why are you pushing their boat for them?" he asked.

"Well, I said that I would do this as an 'apology' for what I've done, but I'm really gonna steer them in the wrong direction, haha." he chuckled.

"Genius! Is there any way that I could help?" asked Edge.

"I wish there was, but I need to do this on my own." he replied.

"Why?"

"If they saw you here, too, they'd get suspicious and then the plan would be ruined, y'know?" replied Randy.

"Oh, I gotcha. All right, I'll meet you at the—wait, if you're taking your team in another direction, what about you?" asked the Rated R Superstar.

"I'LL swim in the right direction, while they stay there stranded!" he laughed.

Edge laughed along. "So I WILL meet you at the island after all."

"Sure will. Rated RKO strikes again!" he exclaimed.

Later, both teams met the horror that was part three of the challenge…

Team Smackdown's boat started shaking and rocking everywhere as the water attacked them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

"I don't know if our boat's gonna make it, mon!" cried Kofi.

"You guys think it's fun NOW?" Kelly asked the Hardys.

"No—WHOA!—Not anymore!" replied Jeff.

Then, the boat turned a huge corner. "Hang on, you guys!" exclaimed HHH.

Everyone began screaming for their lives as the water attacked everyone, and if things weren't going bad enough, the boulders began scratching up the canoe.

"AAH!" cried Candice. "The boat's leaking!"

"I GOT GUM!" announced Natalya. She used it to cover up the gap in the boat, but the water was strong enough to remove it.

"Well, I did all I could do." she finished.

"There's no way we can use a boat that's this messed up." replied Michelle. "We're going to have to swim to the island!"

"Yeah, it's probably not that far from here, anyway!" agreed HHH. "Let's go, team!"

Out on his own, Edge had a hard time swimming, too…

"Maybe I should've stayed with those guys." he uttered over the roaring waters.

Then a rush of water flung him back.

"Well, DAMN IT!" he cried.

Randy put his plan into action and steered his team to a totally different direction…

"Hey, is this the way to the island?" asked Melina. "Sure doesn't look like it."

"Yeah, she's right. Besides, I never saw Team Smackdown come down this way." agreed Shawn.

"Orton, do you know where you're going?" asked Batista.

No reply.

"Orton?"

Mickie looked underneath their boat. "He ditched us!" she cried.

"WHAT?" demanded everyone else.

"I should've known that we couldn't trust him!" cried Punk. "It was probably another one of his stupid little plans!"

"Well, you know what?" asked Cena. "If we do end up losing this thing, there's no doubt that we'll all vote him off."

"Yeah, so he's really doing this on his own case, anyway!" agreed Maria.

"I'll paddle this boat for you guys." announced Shawn.

"Thanks, man. I guess you can take us that way. Maybe it's a shortcut or something." said Punk.

As Shawn jumped underwater and pushed his team's boat ahead, the water got even more violent. He leaped back as a boulder ripped their canoe into pieces. "You guys all right?" he called.

Everyone joined him in the water. "Yeah!" called Cena. "But our boat's totaled!"

"We're just gonna have to swim there ourselves!" he replied. "You ready for this, team?"

"YEAH!" they agreed.

It was about 6:30 at night, and the winds picked up. Which team would make it to the island first?

"I see a whole bunch of trees!" cried Kelly. "Are we almost there?"

"Yeah, I think so!" replied Undertaker. "Let's get moving, team!"

"I see some kind of forest!" cried Maria.

"So this WAS a shortcut!" exclaimed Punk. "Let's go, you guys!"

While Edge struggled with the rampaging water, he met up with Randy.

"DUDE!" Randy called.

"Hey, you made it! How the hell are we gonna make it to the island?" asked Edge.

"Follow me, I know a shortcut!" he replied.

"We're here!" exclaimed Candice.

Team Smackdown, soaking wet, scattered all over the island.

"YEAH! WOOHOO!" they cheered.

Not long after they arrived, Team Raw met up with them.

"We made it, but we lost." Mickie said disappointedly.

"That's ok. We'll just vote Randy off later on." replied Batista.

After that, Randy and Edge arrived last.

"Aw, damn!" Randy exclaimed, seeing his team there.

"Surprised, huh?" Punk asked with a smirk.

"Well, since you made our team lose, we're all voting you off!" Melina said with a smile.

He looked defeated. "I never thought they'd do that." he told Edge.

"Want to rig the votes again?" he suggested.

"No, we've been caught last time. It won't work." he replied.

"John!" cried Michelle. "You're ok!"

He hugged her. "You're ok, too! Thank God, I got worried about you."

"I got worried about you." she replied. After that, they shared another passionate kiss.

"Punky, how can we compete with THAT?" asked Maria.

"They did have plans for tonight. Let's just wait and see." he replied.

"Hey, look what I found, you guys!" exclaimed Candice.

She held up a tiki doll.

"Cool, must've belonged to a native or something." replied Jeff.

"Yeah, but don't those things bring curses to you?" asked Kelly.

"That's just a myth. I'm keeping this. Besides, it's a cute little thing." she said with a smile.

Then, to everyone's surprise, Jericho appeared on the island, by use of a helicopter.

"Nice entrance." Shawn said dully.

"Hey, gang! I see you all made it here alive. Congratulations!" he exclaimed. "I saw that Team Smackdown indeed made it here first, so—" he began.

All of a sudden, two police officers arrived.

"Uh, can I help you?" Jericho asked, surprised.

"We're looking for this woman." one officer said, holding up a picture of Natalya.

"…Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

Then, the other officer handcuffed her. "You're under arrest, ma'am." he said.

"Wh—WHY?" she demanded.

"You've been reported for disturbing the peace in 7 counties." he replied.

Then, she broke away from the handcuffs and escaped. "You can't catch me! NOBODY CAN! The only member of the Divas of Evil will get away YET AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she screamed crazily, leaping in the water and swimming away for good.

"SOMEBODY STOP THAT WOMAN!" one of the officers cried as they both leapt in after her.

Silence.

"What just happened here?" Triple H asked, confused.

"I…don't know." agreed Jericho. "Well, this changes everything. Since she practically just got arrested, she's eliminated."

"So, does that mean that there's no Campfire of Truth tonight?" asked Mickie.

"No, I guess not. You guys can just hang out here and chill and we'll go back to camp in a few hours." he said, walking away. "Damn, that was weird."

"Randy, you got lucky this week." said Batista. "This won't happen next time."

He smiled. "Hell, as long as I make it another week, I'm all good!" he exclaimed happily.

"Well, this bites. We won, but we lost another team member." said Taker.

"Yeah, Karma's a bitch, huh?" Edge asked, smiling.

"Are you being sarcastic with me?" Undertaker demanded. "Get back over here so I can kick your ass!"

Meanwhile, John and Michelle couldn't find a deserted spot, so they hung out in a shed.

"So, Michelle, I know that this isn't the best of places, but it looks like we'll be here for a while." said Cena.

"Yeah, but as long as we're here together, we should make the most out of it." she replied.

After they kissed, she continued, "John, I know this started off as pretend, but I'm so glad that we're dating for real. I love you."

He brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I love you too, Michelle."

"Then show me. Let's make this relationship official." she replied.

After that, he found an old mattress and laid her down on it, before she removed his shirt and he removed hers. As they lowered themselves down, he replied, "Your champ's here, baby." before they began to make love.


	9. Episode 9

Total WWE Island: The Paintball Wars

Episode 9

"What's up, my friends? This is Y2J, Chris Jericho here with another unpredictable week on TWI. Last week's

challenge was a three part canoe race to Corny Island, but it was no walk through the park, let me tell ya. Natalya

met up with Mr. Bear once again, but she sent him a powerful message to leave her alone. On Team Raw's side,

Randy caused up quite a stir when nobody tended to his 'splinter', so in retaliation, he stole his team's paddles and

threw them in the tunnel of fire. After that, hell broke loose. Back on Smackdown's side, Jeff and Kelly tried to get in

a kiss, but were interrupted again when Candice had a little hair problem. But to everyone's surprise, Edge actually

helped her out! He was surprised himself, so he decided to swim to the island on his own. Meanwhile, Randy had his

own secret plan to paddle his team's boat to the island himself, but he really steered them in the wrong direction

and went off on his own. Later, both teams made it to the dangerous depths of part three of the trip, crashing their

boats and making it a free-for-all swimming race to the finish. Team Smackdown made it back first, followed by Team

Raw, and then Rated RKO. But to everyone's surprise, the police appeared from out of nowhere to arrest Natalya! As

a result, she fled the scene, and she basically got herself eliminated. Meanwhile, Cena and Michelle got more

intimate when they revealed their true feelings for one another. Then, well, let's say they were rockin' the mattress.

Wink wink. This week, will Punk and Maria find out about Cena and Michelle's romantic encounter? And will Rated

RKO strike again? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!

* * *

After the gang's trip to Corny Island, everyone returned to camp…

Everyone was in the cafeteria, and Michelle entered, with a dreamy look on her face.

"Hey, you're in a good mood this morning." said Matt.

"Yeah. Good things happened last night." she replied.

Then, Kelly caught what was going on. "Wait, wait. Last night, did you and Cena—"

"Yeah!" she exclaimed happily.

"AAH!" the girls squealed, jumping up and down.

The Hardys just looked at one another. "AAH! " they mocked, squealing in high pitched voices.

"You guys!" Kelly said sternly.

"I don't understand why you're all happy and screaming." replied Jeff.

"You guys don't understand. This is a HUGE milestone in first real relationship!" she exclaimed.

"Yep. Well, I'll catch you guys later. I got a man to see." Michelle said with a smile.

"I'm so happy for her!" Kelly said, smiling along.

"AAAAHHH!" the brothers squealed mockingly once again.

She just glared at them.

"Punky! I just heard some shocking news!" exclaimed Maria.

"Is it about Cena and Michelle?" he asked.

"Yeah! Last night, they…did it." she whispered.

Punk looked shocked. "They…did it?" he asked meekly.

"That's what I said! We can't compete with that! I'm—I'm not ready." she replied.

"Me neither." he agreed. "I'm starting to think about calling this whole thing off. We should just leave them alone."

"I agree. Besides, it doesn't matter which couple is more romantic. As long as they love each other, that's what's really important." agreed Maria.

He kissed her. "Well put, Ria." he smiled.

At another table, Rated RKO was planning another disaster…

"Yesterday was a close call. Seriously close." Randy said, tightly gripping his soda can.

"Yeah. First, your team beats us to the island, and luckily, Natalya was the one who ended up getting voted off…well, arrested." agreed Edge.

"Yep. So today, we gotta come up with something big. Something that nobody can figure out." he added. "And most of all, something that won't persuade our teams to vote us off."

"_Attention campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

"Wonderful." Randy said dully.

"Good afternoon, people!" greeted Jericho. "I'm sure you're all still tired from yesterday's adventure."

"Don't even mention it, Jericho." replied Shawn. "Look at this! The bags under my eyes are getting bags!"

"You know, I have some cream that you can use for that." said Melina.

"Oh, perfect! Thanks, Mel!" he said gratefully.

"IF I can finish…" Chris interrupted. "So, if you're hoping that today's challenge will be any quieter…you're wrong. Today's challenge is called, 'Hunting, With A Twist'."

"How creative." Triple H said dully.

"Here's the thing. You're all in the same teams, but I've split you all up into groups. One group will be the deer, and the other group will be the hunters. So for example, Team Raw, since there are 8 of you left, four of you'll be the deer, and the other four will be the hunters. Team Smackdown, there are 9 of you, so there'll be 4 hunters and 5 deer. Catching on so far?" he asked.

Everyone looked at him blankly.

"Not really." replied Batista.

"Good! Now here's the rules. All of the deer will be hiding out all around camp. Hunters, you'll each have your very own paintball rifle, and your goal is to shoot any deer from the opposite team that you find. Once a deer has been shot, they're out. The last deer standing for their team, will score a win! So when I call your name, come up and grab your equipment."

"Can't wait to hear this one." Undertaker said flatly.

"Ok, the hunters from Team Raw will be: Randy, Maria, Cena, and Punk." he continued.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Jericho, you're gonna trust ME with a paintball rifle? Nice move."

-Back outside-

"And the deer will be: Batista, Mickie, Melina, and Shawn." Jericho continued. "The hunters from Team Smackdown will be: Candice, Michelle, Undertaker, and Triple H. The deer'll be Edge, Matt, Jeff, Kelly, and Kofi. This is gonna be fun."

Soon, the deer grabbed some fake antlers, and the hunters grabbed their rifles. Then, the deer ran off and hid all over the campsite and the games were about to begin!

"All right, you guys. You know the plan, right?" asked Punk.

"I'll search the north." said John.

"I'll search the south." Randy said dully.

"I'll search, uh...the east!" said Maria.

"And I'll search the west." finished Punk. "When you get a deer, message the rest of us on these walkie talkies. Now, let's move!"

Meanwhile, Team Smackdown was planning, too.

"Ok, gang. Just search wherever you think a deer would be." said Triple H. "Uh, Candy? What's with the tiki doll?"

"I'm carrying this around with me! This is my little baby!" she exclaimed, smiling.

"But don't those things bring bad luck?" asked Michelle.

"I don't know why everyone keeps thinking that. I would never bring anything that's bad around here. Don't worry about a thing." replied Candice.

"Ok, and Undertaker? Easy on the paintballs. The deer aren't real, remember that." HHH told him.

"I'll try." he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Jericho got himself a lawn chair, a tall glass of lemonade, and some shades. "Ok, teams, ready, set, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"

After that, both teams scattered around the campsite. Matt, Jeff, and Kelly all hid together up in a tree, but they didn't know that Edge was right below them…

"You guys think we're safe here?" asked Kelly.

"Well, this is the tallest tree around here." replied Jeff. "Besides, even if someone did find us, we could jump from here and tackle them down!"

Edge was hiding in a bush below them. "Hey, Randy?" he asked in the stolen walkie talkie. "Over."

"_What's up, man?"_ he replied. _"Over."_

"I found the Hardys and Kelly Kelly. They're hanging around up in a tree." he replied. "Over."

"_Good eye. Where are they?"_ asked Randy. _"Over."_

"On the east side, right by the mess hall. It's the tallest tree in the camp, you can't miss it." replied Edge. "Over."

"_Excellent. I'll be right there. You just let me know if you've found anyone else. Over and out." _finished Randy.

"Ok, I'm getting dizzy up here." Matt said, hanging upside down from a branch.

"Then try not to do that anymore." Jeff replied, trying to help him up the right way.

Then…

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" *thud* He slipped off of the branch and landed in another bush.

"MATT!" cried Kelly and Jeff, looking down.

"I'm ok." he replied, dazed.

They joined him. "Let's just find another hiding spot." replied Jeff.

As the three left, Edge checked to make sure that they were still there, but he found them missing.

"Wh-What the?" he demanded.

Then, Randy arrived. "Edge, what are you still doing here?" he asked. "I told you to go look for other people."

"I wanted to make sure they were still here. But Randy—" he began.

"Well, let me bag a couple for myself." he said with an evil smile, climbing up the tree.

"Randy!" called Edge.

"Hey, I don't see anyone up here! Edge, you sure you got the right tree?" he demanded.

"They were right here, I swear!" he exclaimed. "I turn my back for five seconds, and then they were gone!"

"Edge! You NEVER turn your back on prey! See what you did?" Randy said angrily. "Now I want you to follow them, and when you do find them, don't take your eyes off of them. Understood?"

"Right." he agreed sheepishly.

Meanwhile, Undertaker searched through the woods, but would be caught in a dilemma of his own…

"Hello?" he asked dully. "Anyone here?"

He searched but found no one.

"Aw, what's the point? Whatever I find in here, I should just chokeslam their asses straight into the ground." he muttered.

Then, Mr. Bear, who was angry that Natalya left, approached him.

"Oh, no. It's you." he replied.

*GROWL!*

"Nice bear. Hey, I know you're upset that Natalya's gone, but there are better girls out there." Taker said cautiously.

*ANGRY GROWL!*

"Hey, I've got a paintball gun right here! You might want to think twice before attacking me!" he exclaimed.

Then, the bear attacked him, growling furiously and trying to pin him down.

"GET OFFA ME, DAMN IT! I'm the Undertaker! I'm more frightening than you!" he exclaimed, trying his hardest to fight the bear off. "Aww, this BITES!"

In another part of the camp, Punk was searching for any deer, but he would find another surprise…

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." he whispered.

What he didn't know was that Cena was hanging out with Michelle again.

"Are you sure that we're allowed to be seeing each other right now?" she asked him.

"It's a risk, but I missed you too much." he replied.

"Aw, John, I missed you, too!" she replied, kissing him.

While they made out, Punk found them.

"Uh, what's THIS?" he demanded.

They quickly whipped around.

"Aw, damn it." muttered John.

"Listen, Punk, before you say anything, we just bumped into each other." explained Michelle.

"So, you're both on different teams, not even playing the game, and all you two can think about is the sex you had last night?" Punk demanded.

"How the hell did you know that?" Cena asked seriously.

"Yeah, how? I only told Kelly. How'd you know?" added Michelle.

"Maria overheard and told me." he replied. "And I'm glad that she did."

"Now, hold up just a sec. You two have nothing to do with our love lives. Besides, I'm actually here for Michelle, unlike you." said Cena.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"I guess this didn't get through to you, but Michelle had the biggest crush on you and you didn't even try to notice." John replied.

"You did?" Punk asked, turning to Michelle.

"Yeah! Like, the second night that we were here, we hung out together and I really thought that you liked me as more than a friend." she replied, upset.

"Michelle, I didn't know. I'm really sorry that you felt that way." Punk said seriously.

Meanwhile, Maria came and overheard what they were saying.

"I mean, you're special to me. I'd never hurt your feelings on purpose, ok? John, you're a lucky guy." Punk continued.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Maria.

They whipped around.

"Ria?" cried Punk.

"You DO have a crush on Michelle, I KNEW it!" she exclaimed.

"No, I don't! I-I mean…" he stuttered.

"You've always been jealous of Cena. You were just using me, weren't you?" she continued.

"Maria, we were jealous of BOTH of them, remember?" he demanded back.

"You were?" John asked, surprised.

"Yeah, the moment we saw you guys together, and how much you loved each other, we got jealous!" replied Punk.

"So you've had some kind of crush on me ever since John and I got together?" asked Michelle.

"Maybe I did." he said quietly.

Then, Maria got angry and fired a paintball towards Michelle.

"OW!" she cried in pain. "Maria!"

"MAN STEALER!" she exclaimed, firing more paintballs at her.

"Maria, cut it out!" cried John.

"I had a crush on you too, John. Ever since you and whore here started dating!" Maria said angrily.

"WHORE?" Michelle demanded, firing a round of paintballs back towards her.

"OW!" Maria screamed.

"Michelle! Knock it off!" exclaimed Punk.

"Don't you speak to my girlfriend like that!" Cena cried angrily, firing another round of paintballs towards him, hitting Punk in the crotch area.

"OHHH, damn it!" he uttered, slumping to his knees.

"John, let's get outta here before he gets up!" exclaimed Michelle.

"Yeah, let's go!" he agreed, running off with her.

Maria was standing there angrily. "And YOU!" she cried, turning to Punk, who was still on the ground.

"What about me?" he asked through clenched teeth, still in pain.

"We're over!" she exclaimed, walking off.

"FINE! We never worked out, anyway!" he called after her.

Meanwhile, Candice, still holding onto her tiki doll, approached her first victim…

She found Shawn and Mickie hiding out in a bush.

"Oh, hello, my dear friends!" she smiled, aiming her paintball rifle towards them.

"Oh, no! Mickie, let's amscray!" Shawn exclaimed, running off and taking her along with him.

"Come on, lil Candi." Candice told her doll. "Let's go bag us some fresh meat."

"Hurry, she's gaining on us!" cried Mickie.

Then, Candice laughed maniacally as she fired her paintball rifle crazily.

"OW!" cried Mickie.

Shawn, like Punk, got hit in the wrong place. "OOHH!" he muttered in extreme pain. "Harsh, Candy."

"Haha, we got em both, lil Candi! Let's find more!" she exclaimed, running off.

"Did she catch her craziness from Natalya?" asked Mickie.

"I don't know, but either way, it's not good." Shawn replied, his voice cracking a little.

Meanwhile, Edge found Kelly and the Hardy boyz going to hide in the mess hall in the cafeteria, but other issues would occur after that…

"Randy, I found them again." he said on the walkie talkie. "Over."

"_Good. Where are they this time?_" asked Randy. _"Over."_

"They did decide to go hide in the mess hall." he replied. "Over."

"_Man, I was just over there! *sigh* All right, I'll be right there. Just keep an eye on them this time. Over and out." _he finished.

"I won't let them out of my sight." Edge said, about to head inside. Before he could though, he bumped into someone else.

"Edge?" Melina asked, surprised.

"Melina?" he asked, just as surprised. "What are YOU doing here?"

"Uh, I'm trying to hide! What about you?" she asked.

"Uhh…I'm trying to hide, too." he said, trying to hide his plan.

"Well, I gotta get going." Melina said, trying to get away.

"Me, too. Later." he replied, trying to head the other way.

But their antlers were locked together.

"Ok, why are we stuck?" Melina demanded.

"I don't know, but pull yourself loose!" he cried.

They tried, but no luck.

"Damn it!" he cried.

Then, Matt, Jeff, and Kelly sped out of the mess hall. "Ok, I don't know what the hell Big Show's cooking in there, but if it had the power to kill a live rat, I'm out!" cried Jeff.

"THERE THEY ARE!" Edge lit up. He tried to run, but he bumped into Melina and they crashed to the ground, him on top of her.

"DAMN IT!" he cried again.

"Edge, what the hell's your problem?" she demanded.

Before he could answer, Randy arrived to the mess hall to find the scene.

"What the?" he questioned.

"Randy? Edge?" asked Melina. "Oh, no. What are you two up to now?"

"Edge, you didn't tell her, did you?" asked Randy.

"Tell me what?" she asked.

"No, I didn't say anything." he replied.

"Well, I better go look in the mess hall. If they're in there, that is." Randy said cautiously, glancing back at Edge.

"Randy, wait!" he cried.

A few seconds later, he came running out of there. "Edge, you lied to me again!" he cried. "And I see why those three ran out, what the hell is Big Show trying to kill in there?"

"I didn't lie! I saw them go in there, but before I went inside, Melina bumped into me and now we're stuck!" he explained.

"I bumped into you? YOU bumped into ME!" she argued.

"I don't care who bumped into who! So there's no way you two can get yourselves apart?" asked Randy.

"Nope." they both said.

"All right, this plan isn't working out." he replied.

"What PLAN?" demanded Melina.

"Both of you, just come with me and we'll find them together." he continued.

"Find WHO? Will somebody tell me what the hell's going on?" she cried.

"Oh, she's a fun one." Edge muttered.

Meanwhile, Triple H was searching for prey, when he'd get caught in the middle of a fight…

"Just come out, you guys! I'm Hunter! My name speaks for itself, so why bother hiding?" he asked.

Then from out of nowhere, a paintball hit him.

"HEY! Ok, show yourself!" he exclaimed, ready to fire.

Batista came out with his own paintball rifle, even though he was supposed to be a deer.

"DUDE!" cried HHH.

"Hey, beggars can't be choosers." he said with a smile.

"You cheat!" he cried, firing towards him.

Batista dodged everything, but instead hit Kofi, who was trying to hide.

"What's up with that, mon?" he demanded.

"Sorry! It was meant for Batista." he replied.

Then, Batista fired another shot at him, hitting HHH in his area next.

"OW!" he cried, on his knees. "Oh, you're gonna get it now!"

HHH fired another round of shots, but they hit Michelle and Cena, who were going by.

"HEY! What the hell was that?" demanded John.

"What are you two doing together?" HHH demanded back.

"Never mind that! What is going on here?" asked Michelle.

Then, someone else fired a paintball at her.

"MAN STEALER!" cried Maria.

"That's it, I've had it up to HERE with you!" Michelle screamed, firing a round of paintballs towards her.

After that, Candice and lil Candi joined in on the fun.

"Hey, what's going on here?" she asked, confused.

A random paintball hit her tiki doll.

"…WHO DID THIS?" she freaked out.

Silence.

"HE—SHE DID!" they cried.

"That does it. When somebody hurts lil Candi, they hurt me. RAAAAAA!" she screamed, firing her rifle crazily.

Next, Randy, Edge, and Melina joined in.

"Look, it's Randy and Edge!" announced John.

Everyone froze and then fired their guns towards them.

"HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!" Randy exclaimed, using a tree as a shield. He looked to his side and caught Edge and Melina…making out!

"WHAT THE F—" he began, shocked.

Then, Matt, Jeff, and Kelly came and saw the scene.

"Whoa!" cried the boys.

"YOU!" Randy cried, charging after them.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" screamed Kelly, running off.

"Run!" cried Matt.

But Randy caught them and peddled the three with paintballs.

"It's YOU!" Punk cried, joining in the action.

Randy turned around to face him as he fired some more paintballs towards him. "You want some, too? Well—OOF!" he cried as Matt and Jeff tackled him down from behind and began beating him with their deer antlers.

As all hell broke loose, Shawn and Mickie meekly saw the scene.

"..Ok, if we slowly walk away, neither of us'll get hurt." he said, backing away.

"Yeah, I'm a little scared right now." agreed Mickie.

Then, Jericho joined them. "What's going on?" he asked.

They pointed over to the scene.

"WHOA! What the—" he began.

"*!&!*&!*&&*&*!&*&&*&*&*&*&##!$!" everyone screamed at once.

Jericho sighed, took a deep breath, and yelled, "MAINTAIN!"

Everyone shut up.

"Ok, is there ANYONE who didn't get paintballed?" he demanded.

Everyone was silent while Undertaker emerged from the woods, his clothes tattered and his face scarred.

"Me." he said dryly.

"What the hell happened to you?" asked Batista.

"What do you think?" he replied. "I got mauled by Mr. Bear."

"All right, since everyone got paintballed…Team Smackdown loses, because, uh…Undertaker got attacked the whole time, I dunno." Jericho replied, not really caring.

"WHAT?" the team cried in shock.

Later that night, Team Smackdown miserably met Jericho at the Campfire of Truth…

"Well, I know that it was a rough day, but you're here now. Let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to go." said Chris.

-Hidden Camera-

Triple H: "Undertaker, how could you get mauled by a bear?"

Matt: "This competition's getting serious now, and we can't afford any more losses. Sorry, Undertaker."

Jeff: "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Taker would *chuckles* get owned by a bear."

Kofi: "Undertaker, I'm sorry, mon."

Edge: "Well, today wasn't all bad. I made out with Melina, and I'm votin' Undertaker off!"

Kelly: "I'm sorry, Taker. It was a bad day for all of us."

Michelle: "I'm too pissed off to vote. I guess Undertaker's going home."

Candice: "What do you say, lil Candi? *pause* Mmhmm, mhmm, ok, I'll tell them. Lil Candi votes for Undertaker."

Undertaker: "I'm guessing that everyone voted me off. But you know what? I really don't care because I'm the Deadman and I can come back anytime I want to."

-Back outside-

"All right, so let's get to the results. When I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Triple H…Matt…Jeff…Kofi…Edge…Kelly…and Michelle."

"Oh, no!" exclaimed Candice.

"Ok, Candice, Undertaker, one of you gets the last smore and one of you goes down the walk of shame. And the person leaving tonight is…"

Candice looked nervous while Taker looked emotionless.

"Undertaker." he finished.

"I'm not surprised." he said dully.

"So, are you gonna miss this place? Especially…me?" Jericho asked with a big smile.

He glared at him and rolled his eyes into the back of his head. "NO." he said demonically.

Chris looked offended. "Well!" he scoffed.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually gonna miss him." said Triple H.

"Well, at least we're even with Team Raw now." said Candice. "Right, lil Candi?"

Michelle was still pissed. "Oh, even's not even the word. Maria, you just got on my bad side. Try and steal my man? We'll just see what I think about that." she muttered to herself.


	10. Episode 10

Total WWE Island: The REAL Hell's Kitchen

Episode 10

"Hey, world, this is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho here with another crazy week on TWI. But to

recap, last week, both teams competed in a little game called 'Hunting, With A Twist', where hunters from each team

had to bag the other team's deer…with paintballs! Rated RKO were at it again with a plan to catch the Hardy boys

and Kelly Kelly, but it all ended up being a mess when Melina got tangled up in their business. Punk caught Cena

and Michelle making out and found out about their romantic adventure the previous night before, resulting in an all

out jealousy fight when Maria overheard everything. She fired a round of paintballs towards Michelle, which then

sparked a war! Meanwhile, Undertaker was on his own out in the woods, when an angry Mr. Bear decided to attack

him. Shawn and Mickie saw that Candice was a little too attached with her voodoo doll, lil' Candi, and Triple H

received a shot from Batista, which resulted in an all out paintball war between everyone! Since there were no clear

winners, I decided that Team Smackdown lost because Taker got mauled. BADLY. And the fact of the matter is, the

rest of the team agreed and ended up voting him off next. This week, will former best friends Maria and Michelle

become mortal enemies? Will Cena and Punk be at each other's throats? Is Candice's little baby causing more harm

than good? And will the kiss between Melina and Edge make or break Rated RKO? Find out this week on Total…

WWE…Island!"

* * *

The next morning, Michelle was still upset over the previous events, and she decided to spend some time alone in her bunk room…

"Hey, Michelle?" John said, arriving.

She lit up. "John!" she exclaimed, kissing him. "I would've came over to you, but I really don't want to see Maria."

"That's all right. Hey, I know that yesterday was rough, but you stuck it out. I'm proud of you." he said sincerely.

"John, I love you." she said with a smile.

He kissed her. "I love you too, Michelle."

Back at Team Raw's site, Maria was just as pissed as Michelle was…

"Maria, I know you're mad at me, but—" began Punk.

"You're damn right that I'm mad. I really thought we had something together! But this whole time, you wanted her." she said tearfully.

"Maria, please listen to me. Michelle and I are just friends. But it's different when I'm with you. I know that I've never really said this to you, but I'll say it now. I love you, Maria. I really do." he said, his eyes gazing into hers.

She gasped, a smile growing on her face. "Oh, CM! I…I love you, too." she replied. "I'm sorry I got mad at you. I'm just angry at that whore who used to be my best friend!"

"And if Cena talks bad about you, I'll take care of him." he said certainly.

Meanwhile, Edge and Melina were hanging out in Edge's bunk room when Randy came in and found the two…

"Hello, lovebirds." he greeted. "So, that kiss was unexpected."

"Yeah, but it was HOT!" Edge exclaimed.

"We were just talking." said Melina. "Would it be all right if I joined Rated RKO?"

Randy looked stunned for a second. "Why? I mean, everyone hates us!"

"Yeah, but I realized that being good isn't what it's all hyped up to be. I mean, I'm just meant to be a bitch!" she smiled. "It's who I am! If Natalya and Maryse were still here, I would've rejoined the Divas of Evil."

"Yeah, so I think she should join us." agreed Edge. "She'd be like a valet, you know?"

Randy looked at her and thought for a minute. "All right. Melina, you ready to risk losing the popularity to become part of the most hated stable around?" he asked.

"Hell yeah! Like I said before, I was meant to be a bad girl." she replied.

"Awesome. So now, the three of us need to think of today's big plan." Randy said with an evil smirk.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

"Crap." muttered Randy.

Everyone met up with Jericho for their next challenge…

"Hello, my friends!" he greeted. "I know these last couple of challenges were pretty mind grueling and intense, so today will be a bit easier."

"In a pig's eye." muttered Shawn.

"Today, we'll be playing a little game called 'Hell's Kitchen – WWE style!' Each team will make a three course meal that will be judged by a special guest." he explained.

Mickie got excited. "Ooh! Ooh! Is Gordon Ramsay gonna be the special guest judge?" she exclaimed.

All the girls got excited.

"Nope! The special guest judge will be…ME, Y2J, Chris Jericho!" he said excitedly.

"Aw!" everyone muttered disappointedly while Edge threw a spitball at him.

"Yeah, I know, it's great! Now, each team needs to come up with an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert. And this all needs to be done before 12:00 in the afternoon. Everything you need is in the cafeteria, so…GET GOING!" he exclaimed as the teams sped off.

Soon, each team got together in the cafeteria, but things would later get out of hand…

"All right, I came up with a list of what we should make." announced Batista.

Punk looked at the list. "Dude! Buffalo wings for an appetizer, bass for a main course, and German chocolate cake for dessert? Nice!" he exclaimed.

Even Randy was surprised. "Where'd you come up with this?" he asked.

"I, uh, go to culinary school in my spare time." Batista replied meekly. "Don't judge me."

"With this list, we just might win!" exclaimed Maria.

"And that's why I'm declaring myself leader!" Randy interrupted.

"WHAT?" everyone except for Melina cried.

"That's right! Ok, Batista and Shawn, you two work on the appetizers, Cena and Punk, you two work on the main course, and Mickie, Maria, and Melina, you three work on dessert." he ordered.

Everyone glared at him.

"…WHAT?" he asked.

"And what exactly are you gonna do while we're all working our asses off?" demanded Punk.

"Making sure you all do the job right." he replied, pointing at him.

On the other side of the cafeteria, Team Smackdown got things going, too…

"Ok, you guys, I found this list off of the internet." announced Kelly. "What do you think?"

"So, the appetizer's gonna be 'Ants on a Log'." read Triple H.

"That's cute!" exclaimed Michelle. "That's that raisin/peanut butter/celery combo, right?"

"Yep!" Kelly agreed.

Jeff chuckled. "Awesome, I haven't had one of those since I was like, 6!"

"So, what's the main course?" asked Matt.

"Little Bo Peep Pot Pie?" read Kofi.

Confused, they all looked at Kelly.

"What? Ok, I know, the name's weird, but the pie's really good!" she exclaimed.

Edge chuckled. "Heheh. Pot."

"Eh, ok, and what's for dessert?" asked Triple H.

"A lemon sorbet." read Michelle. "Guys…we're gonna OWN Team Raw."

"YEAH!" they agreed.

Soon enough, both teams worked hard on their foods, while tensions on Team Raw grew…

"You guys done with that appetizer yet?" demanded Randy.

Shawn and Batista glared at him.

"No, mother." Shawn said sarcastically.

He stormed up to him. "You think this is time for jokes, Michaels?" Randy said threateningly.

"You listen to me, Orton. You making yourself the leader is the biggest joke around here." he replied.

"Burn." chuckled Batista.

Randy continued staring bullets through him. "You want me to dunk your head in that pot of hot grease?"

"Just try." Shawn replied.

Then, when Randy was about to strike him, Shawn ducked, leaving Randy to tip over the pot of grease, sending it splattering all over him.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed in pain. "IT BURNS!"

"The wings are finished." announced Batista.

In another part of the kitchen, Cena and Punk were working on the main course, but they weren't working so well together…

"You got the butter?" Punk asked, on the other side of the room.

"Yeah." John muttered, sliding it to him.

"All right, what's your problem, man?" demanded Punk. "Why'd you have to be so hard on Maria like that? It's not my fault that she found someone who she's satisfied with!"

Michelle was walking by, and overheard what they were saying.

"For your information, I was just defending Michelle from everything Maria was saying about her." Cena replied.

"Well, I have the feeling that you're just using Michelle to get back to Maria. Everyone knows that you've always had the biggest crush on her." he replied back.

"I can't believe you'd even say that, man! Yeah, I used to have a crush on Maria, but now that I've found Michelle, I've never loved anyone else more." he argued.

Michelle smiled and blushed.

"And if you can't accept the fact that I'm in love with one of your best friends, then you should think twice before bringing up her hopes and then crushing them down to hell!" he finished.

Punk said nothing else and continued on with his work.

As Michelle went back with her team, she thought, _"John, you really are the one for me."_

Meanwhile, Mickie, Maria, and Melina were talking about guys while they were making dessert…

"I thought Michelle was my best friend!" exclaimed Maria. "The whore thought that she had a chance with my Punky, and now she's head over heels with the guy who's always had a crush on me?"

"Do you even hear yourself? You're arguing with her just because she's found happiness and she's in love with the guy you chose to reject?" asked Melina.

"Are you on Michelle's side?" she demanded.

"Well, kinda! She's had her heart broken, and all YOU seem to do is beak hearts!" she replied.

"You little—Mickie, please tell me you don't agree with her." pleaded Maria.

"Uh, I really don't want a say in this." she said nervously.

"No, Micks, we want to know. Do you agree with a girl who doesn't care about anyone but herself, or do you agree with me, someone who actually feels bad for a girl who's had her heart broken in the past?" asked Melina.

"Girls, I'm not taking sides here! So you two just fight amongst yourselves." she replied, getting back to her work.

"Fine." said Maria.

"Fine." replied Melina.

Then, Randy joined them, still riddled with grease. "You girls done yet?" he asked.

"Randy, do we look like we're finished?" demanded Maria.

"Well, COME ON! You're women, anyway! You should be used to hard labor in the kitchen!" he replied.

Then, Mickie and Maria angrily glared at him.

"WHAT did you just say?" demanded Mickie.

"You heard me!"

Then, Maria took the leftover cake batter, and smushed it all over him.

"OH!" he cried, shocked. "You are all so lucky that I don't hit girls."

Then, when he left and the girls had their backs turned, Melina whipped him around and kissed him. She seductively licked some chocolate off of his face and winked at him before she joined the girls again.

As a reply, a smile grew on Randy's face as he winked at her, as if to say 'I'll see you later, baby.'

Team Smackdown was doing fine, until lil Candi caused some trouble…

Candice persuaded her team to let her be the leader, while Kelly and Michelle worked on dessert, Matt and Jeff worked on appetizers, and Triple H, Kofi, and Edge worked on the main course.

"All right, you guys, we're doing great! We got 30 minutes to go, so let's get moving!" cheered Candice.

"Mmm, the sorbet's turning out great!" exclaimed Michelle.

"Sure is!" agreed Kelly. "Are you feeling better, Michelle? You know, after what happened yesterday?"

"I am, actually. I was just on my way over here and I overheard Punk and John talking about what happened yesterday, and…John just defended me so well. I never knew I could love a man the way I love him."

"Aw, that's nice to hear. I just wish that Jeff and I could get closer." replied Kelly.

"What do you mean?" asked Michelle.

"I mean, I really, really like him a lot, and I know that he feels the same about me, but it seems like we can never get any alone time. I've almost gotten a kiss from him like, three times, and every time, we've always been interrupted." she said disappointedly. "I really want him as more than a friend and you have no idea how much I want to kiss him."

"Well, maybe one day you two could schedule some alone time. Like, you could go somewhere deserted where nobody's around." said Michelle.

"You really think that would work?" she asked with hope.

"It's worth a try. Who knows, maybe by the end of the week, Jeff could be your boyfriend." she replied.

"Oh, I would SO love that!" she exclaimed. "Thanks, Michelle!"

Then, Candice and lil Candi walked in. "You girls ready yet?" she asked.

"Almost." said Michelle. Then, when she checked on the sorbet, it suddenly exploded!

"OH!" she cried out.

"Michelle! You ok?" the girls asked.

"I'm fine, but now we'll have to start over again!" she exclaimed.

"Uh, Candice, no offense, but that tiki doll of yours is cursing us out." said Kelly. "Sorry."

"MY lil Candi? Why would you think that?" she asked.

"As soon as you brought her in here, the dessert exploded!" Michelle said, upset.

"I'm sorry, but lil Candi didn't do a thing. But at least you still have time to restart. Bye now!" she exclaimed, leaving.

Both girls sighed.

Meanwhile, Matt and Jeff just finished making 2 dozen ants on a log, when lil Candi would return…

"Well, we did it, brotha!" exclaimed Matt. "And we still got time to spare."

"Yeah, I'd like to see how Kelly's doing, but she's probably still busy." replied Jeff. "I just wish there was a way for us to get closer, you know?"

"You mean, boyfriend/girlfriend closer?" he asked.

"Yeah. But everytime we have a moment together, someone always barges in at the wrong time. I just want to give her a kiss. Is that so much to ask?" he demanded. "And maybe a date, too."

"Well, since you two like each other so much, why don't you guys go to a deserted place or something?" asked Matt. "Then you could have all the alone time you want."

"That's a pretty good idea. It's just, Kelly's been such a great friend to me and this could be the perfect chance to show her how much I appreciate her." he replied.

"Aw, Jeffy's finally in love!" Matt teased.

"Cut it out, man!" he chuckled.

Then, Candice and lil Candi joined them. "Hey, you guys! How are the ants on a log doing?" she asked.

"Hey, Candice! We just finished." replied Matt.

"You want them out now?" asked Jeff.

"Not yet. I just want to wait until everyone else is done." she replied.

Then, Matt noticed that the Ants on a Log were moving away on their own!

"What the—" he said in shock.

"Did those ants come to life or something?" asked Jeff.

Then Candice looked underneath one and found out that real ants were taking them away!

"Aw, COME ON!" cried Matt.

"Oh, that's too bad." said Candice.

"Uh, you know, Candice. I'm starting to think that it was lil Candi's fault that this happened." Jeff said, trying not to hurt her feelings.

"Not you guys, too! Everyone's been blaming her for things that that they probably caused." she said.

"But everything was fine before you brought her here." argued Matt.

"Lil Candi didn't do a thing. Now you have about 15 minutes to restart, please." she said, leaving.

"I say we burn that thing." announced Jeff.

Meanwhile, Triple H, Kofi, and Edge were almost finished with the main course…

"Ok, men, all we need to do is wait for it to bake and then we're done!" announced HHH.

"Nice work, you guys!" exclaimed Kofi.

"We might actually stand a chance." agreed Edge. "I mean, we lost two contests in a row."

"I'm really surprised at you, man." said Triple H. "We've been in here for over an hour and you haven't tried anything stupid lately. Have you, like, not seen Randy today?"

"…Does it REALLY matter, though?" Edge asked thoughtfully.

HHH and Kofi looked at each other. "Yes." they replied.

"I'm just trying to make sure that we don't lose again, all right? Mostly because if we do again, I'll be on the chopping block." he replied.

"Well, there's no doubt about that." HHH agreed.

Then, Candice and lil Candi joined them. "Hey, you guys! How's the pie going?" she asked.

"We're just about done." replied Edge, taking it out of the oven. "Just let it cool off."

"Mmm! That looks delicious! See, lil Candi?" she asked, putting her doll near the pie.

And when she did that, a random hawk flew in and stole the pie away.

"HEY!" cried everyone.

"What was that, mon?" cried Kofi.

"Well, that's unfortunate." said Candice.

"Unfortunate? Candy, a HAWK just stole our pie! And we only have 10 minutes left! How are we gonna make another pie in 10 minutes?" cried Triple H.

"Aw, crapola. We're outta ingredients." announced Edge.

"I'm sorry, you guys. But you're just gonna have to find another way." she replied.

"This is your little doll's fault!" Edge cried angrily. "As soon as you let her near the pie, it gets stolen!"

"For the last time, lil Candi didn't do a thing! This is all on your shoulders!" she exclaimed, leaving.

"Well, we failed." HHH said dully.

"Isn't there something else we can do?" asked Kofi.

Edge thought for a moment. "Maybe there is. Hold on, be right back!" he exclaimed.

"Wait, where are you going?" asked HHH.

"Well, since we can't make a pie, no one'll know if we BUY one! Hahaha!" he laughed, running off.

"First brilliant idea he's had to date." Triple H said, surprised.

Back where Team Raw was, things weren't getting any better…

"Come on, damn it!" cried Randy. "We've only got about 10 minutes left! Move it, ALL OF YOU!"

Shawn was getting angry. "I swear, if he says another word…" he said through clenched teeth.

"Calm down, man." said Batista. "Our team's the least of his problems."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when he was soiled with hot chicken grease?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"He doesn't know this, but it burned off his eyebrows." he chuckled.

"Seriously?" Shawn asked, interested.

"Yeah." he replied.

"MOVE IT!" Randy screamed out of nowhere.

"That does it." Shawn concluded. He stormed over to him, carried him over his shoulder, and…

"What the—What the hell are you doing? PUT ME DOWN!" Randy cried angrily.

Shawn took him to the back freezer room and tossed him inside, slamming and locking the door.

"_HEY! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" _he screamed from inside.

"Attention, Team Raw! As of now, I, Shawn Michaels, am now the new leader of Team Raw." he announced.

Everyone cheered. "WHOO!"

"What'd you do with Randy, then?" asked Punk.

"Well, he was pretty stressed out, so I gave him a place to chill and cool off, if you know what I mean." he said with a wink.

"Thank you!" Mickie exclaimed, giving him a hug. "So, are the rest of you guys ready?"

"Yep. Buffalo wings are done." replied Batista.

"And so is the bass." agreed Cena.

"And our cake is just about done." finished Maria.

Then, Jericho entered the room. "Time's up, bring out your foods, and…IT'S CHOW TIME! WHOO!"

"Team Raw, you're up first." he said.

"Ok, our appetizer's some Buffalo wings. Enjoy." announced Shawn. "Hope you choke on a bone or something." he muttered.

Jericho tasted one and then gobbled up the entire plate. "Mmm! All right, 5/5 points! What's next?" he asked.

"Our main course is a sautéed bass, with seasoning." replied Shawn.

Jericho tasted some of it. "Uh, what seasoning did you use?" he asked.

"Parsley." replied Punk.

"Oh, GOD!" he cried, gulping down his water.

"What's wrong?" demanded Cena.

"I am ALLERGIC to parsley! What's wrong with you?" he demanded.

"Uh, how the hell were WE supposed to know that?" cried Punk.

"Ok, ok. I'll score that one 3/5 because it looked good before you almost POISONED me!" he cried back.

"Too bad it didn't." muttered Shawn.

"WHAT?"

"Nothing." he said quickly.

"What's your dessert?"

"Uh, here's a German chocolate cake." he replied.

Jericho tasted some and then ate the rest of it as if it were his last meal!

"Mmm, oh, excellent! 5/5 for that!" he exclaimed. "Ok, so that gives you a grand total of 13 out of 15 points! Nice work."

Team Raw cheered.

"Thanks for taking over, Shawn." said Maria. "If Orton were still around, we'd be doomed."

"Don't I know it." he agreed.

"Team Smackdown, you're up!" exclaimed Chris.

"Ok, our appetizer is a classic. Ants on a Log." announced Candice.

He ate a couple. "Wow, creative!" he smiled.

"Can I have one—" began Jeff.

"RAWR!" Jericho growled towards him while he backed away.

Jeff's lower lip trembled in reply. :(

"Anyways, very nice, 5/5 points! What's your main course?" he asked.

"Uh..uh…excuse me a sec." said Candice, running into the back kitchen. "You guys? Jericho's out there, waiting for the pie!" she told HHH, Kofi, and Edge.

"It's cooling off." replied Edge. "Tell him to wait five minutes."

"Fine, I'll try and stall, but hurry!" she cried. "Hey, what kind of pie did you get, anyway?"

Silence.

"Sara Lee." Edge said quickly.

"Oh, ok! Just hurry, please!" she exclaimed.

"Come on, let's make sure that hobo I stole it from isn't after us." Edge told the guys.

He and Kofi ran off, but Triple H stayed and stared at the delicious pie.

"God, I'm starving." he said. "Should I? No, it's for Jericho. But what has he ever done to benefit us? But I cant…aw, hell, I'm hungry!"

Then, Edge and Kofi returned to find Triple H licking the bowl clean.

"NO, mon!" cried Kofi.

"DUDE!" screamed Edge, snatching the pie tin away from him. "WHY?"

"I-I couldn't help it! I'm just a hungry man!" he replied. "I'm sorry!"

Then, Candice came back. "We need that pie, now!" she demanded.

"Uh, Triple H ate it." replied Kofi.

"He WHAT?" she cried.

"I am sorry!" HHH pleaded.

Soon, all four of them joined everyone else outside.

"Well?" asked Jericho.

"Triple H kinda ate it." she told him.

"WHAT?" cried the rest of the team.

"Well, then. That's a bummer. 0/5 points!" Jericho said with a smile. "All right, where's that dessert?"

"Ok, we have a lemon sorbet." said Candice.

"Ooh, fruity!" he exclaimed. He dug in, and the stuff was so good, that he ate it too fast. "Wow, IT'S ORGASMIC!" he exclaimed in a state of bliss, wolfing down the stuff so fast that he began choking.

"Jericho?" asked Candice.

While he began coughing violently, Triple H said, "I oughta help him."

"NO! Let him choke!" Shawn exclaimed with a smile.

Everyone looked at him.

"Fine." he muttered.

"That would've been pretty nice to see, though." agreed Punk.

Triple H gave him the Heimlich maneuver, and then Jericho began breathing correctly. "Ok, I'm all right, LET GO OF MY PERSON!" he cried.

"You're welcome." HHH replied sarcastically.

"Ok, even though that was delicious as hell, I almost choked. 4/5 points." he said.

"But YOU were the one who ate it too fast!" argued Michelle.

"But it's fun punishing you!" he replied, smiling.

"Should've let him choke." replied Shawn.

"Ok, if we add up your scores, that gives you a grand total of 9 out of 15 points, so the champions for today's challenge – Team Raw!" he announced.

Team Raw cheered happily, while Team Smackdown sulked.

Later that day, Candice was taking care of lil Candi, while her teammates held a discussion…

"I'm really sorry, you guys." said Triple H. "You're all gonna vote me off, huh?"

"No." said Jeff. "Let me ask you guys something. Did Candice bring that doll with her when she checked up on you?"

"Yeah!" everyone agreed.

"As soon as she brought that thing in the room, the sorbet just exploded out of nowhere!" exclaimed Kelly.

"And we had to start from scratch!" added Michelle.

"Same with us." agreed Matt. "Only, as soon as she checked up on us, we found out that real ants were taking away the appetizer for themselves!"

"And don't even get started with us. As soon as we take the pie out of the oven, she exposes her little friend to it, and out of nowhere, a hawk comes and steals our pie!" exclaimed Edge.

"You know, I don't think this doll just cursed us today. Our team lost the paintball challenge when Undertaker was mauled by the bear, and we lost again when Natalya got arrested from our team." said Triple H. "But the point is, we lost three challenges in a row, and I'd hate to do this, but we might need to let Candice go."

"You guys think so?" Candice asked, joining them.

Everyone whipped around, feeling guilty.

"Candy, we're sorry!" exclaimed Michelle. "But it's just, the longer you have that thing, the more we'll lose."

"All right. I'll get rid of this thing because I really don't want to hurt the team. I'll see you all later." she said, walking away.

"I feel terrible about this." said Jeff.

"I know, but it has to be done." replied HHH.

Meanwhile, Candice brought lil Candi to the edge of a cliff. "Well, I guess this is it. My friends are saying that you're bringing bad luck to the team, and I just can't let that happen. Good bye, lil Candi." she said, giving it a kiss before tossing it over the edge. She sighed. "It's my turn to go next."

That night, Team Smackdown met up with Jericho at the Campfire of Truth to eliminate someone else…

"All right, you all know why you're here, so let's show everyone at home who you chose to go." said Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Triple H: "I'm sorry, Candice."

Matt: "If it weren't for that doll, then you'd stay."

Jeff: "It's been real, Candy. I'm sorry."

Kofi: "You've been great, Candice, but I'd hate to let you go."

Edge: "Sorry, Candy, sweetie. But it's bye bye time."

Kelly: "Candice, you're one of my closest friends, and I'd hate to vote you off, but I'm sorry."

Michelle: "You're like a sister to me, Candy. I don't want to see you go, but I guess it's time."

Candice: "I know everyone voted for me, so I'll vote for me, too."

-Back outside-

"All right, so now I'll get to the results. When I call your name, come up and grab a smore." said Jericho. "Matt…Jeff…Kofi…Edge…Kelly…and Michelle."

Triple H held Candice's hand as they waited for the results.

"Triple H, and Candice. One of you stays, and one of you takes the dreaded walk of shame. And that person is…"

Everyone looked pretty bummed.

"Candice."

"I know." she said.

"What are you gonna take away from this, Candy?" asked Jericho.

"Just the greatest friends in the world. It's been so much fun, and I wish you guys the best." she said, tears coming down her face.

Then, everyone else (minus Edge) came in for a group hug.

"We love you, Candy." Michelle said, tearing up.

"I love you guys, too." she replied. Then, she headed for the yacht. "Bye!"

Everyone waved to her.

"I'm really gonna miss her." said Matt.

"We're all gonna miss her." agreed Jeff.

"Well, there's not many of us left, so we just gotta stick together." said Kelly. "And as long as we do that, Team Smackdown will always come out on top."

Back in the kitchen…

"_HELLO? HELLOOOOOOO? LET ME OUTTA HERE!...I'M COLD."_ Randy exclaimed.


	11. Episode 11

Total WWE Island: The Test of Trust

Episode 11

"What's up, TV Land? This is the ayatollah of rock and rolla, Chris Jericho with another exciting week of TWI! Let's

recap. Last week, both teams competed in a Hell's Kitchen type of cooking challenge, where each team had to make

a three course meal, judged by me of course, and the highest scoring meal would be the winner. Two weeks ago,

Melina and Edge shared an unexpected kiss, and last week, she officially wanted to be a part of Rated RKO, and

what did she do as her first act? Yes, she shared a secret kiss with Randy! Punk and Cena weren't on a high note

after a few heated words about their girlfriends, but Michelle was happy that her man defended her. Randy declared

himself the leader of Team Raw, which got on everyone's bad side, especially Shawn's. Randy even got splattered

with hot chicken grease and burnt off his eyebrows! Later, Shawn had just about enough of him, so he locked him in

the freezer and became Team Raw's new leader. On Smackdown's side, Candice was the team leader, along with

her companion, lil Candi. But lil Candi wasn't so popular with the rest of the team. Kelly and Michelle's dessert

exploded, Matt and Jeff's appetizers got a little 'carried away', and Edge, Triple H, and Kofi's main dish got stolen by

a hawk. They lost the challenge, Candice lost lil Candi for good, and the team lost Candice in an emotional farewell.

This week, will the feud among Team Raw get any worse? Will Maria and Michelle become enemies for good? And will

Team Smackdown come back on top after losing three challenges in a row? Find out this week on Total...WWE…

Island!"

* * *

Edge met up with Melina at Team Raw's campsite…

"Hey." he said.

"Hey." she replied, kissing him.

"So, how's it feel being a member of Rated RKO?" he asked.

"Nothing happened yet! You guys always come up with plans, don't you?" she asked.

"Usually, but yesterday didn't count! And I haven't even seen Randy all morning. Have you?" he asked.

"Nope—Oh, crap!" she realized.

"What?"

"Yesterday, Shawn was so fed up with him, that he locked Randy in the freezer!" exclaimed Melina. "We gotta get him out!"

"C'mon, let's go!" cried Edge.

But before they got far, Randy found them. "I-I'MMMM s-so p-pissed off r-right-t n-now!" he exclaimed, shivering.

"Dude! How'd you get outta there?" asked Edge.

"I-I used-d t-the icicles f-from m-my n-nose!" he stuttered. "I-I swear, T-Team Raw's g-gonna get it!"

"Poor Randy. You need a towel or something?" asked Melina.

"T-That'd be nice." he muttered.

"I'll get it." Edge said, rushing away.

"Aw, you don't need a damn towel to get warm." she said, kissing Randy passionately. "How's that?"

"Wow, is it hot out here or what?" he asked quickly.

Meanwhile, John and Michelle were taking a walk through the camp when they bumped into CM Punk and Maria…

"Oh, look, Punky." said Maria. "Looks like whore just got out of bed."

"I swear, if you call me that name one more time!" Michelle snapped.

"What? What are you gonna do?" Maria demanded back.

"What, Cena? Can't control your girlfriend?" asked Punk.

"At least mine doesn't need a leash." Cena replied slyly. "C'mon, Michelle, let's leave them alone, shall we?"

"Yeah. If I see anymore of that red hair, I think I'm gonna puke." Michelle agreed, smirking towards Maria.

Maria growled and wanted to charge after them. "I can't BELIEVE we were even friends!" she shouted.

"Don't worry, Ria. It's you and I vs. Cena because he'll crumble without Michelle on his team." Punk replied with an evil smirk. "Don't you worry."

Back with Team Smackdown…

"Morning, Jeff." greeted Kelly.

"Hey, Kel." he greeted back. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah?"

"Well, you notice whenever we're trying to have a moment alone together, someone always barges in?" he asked.

"I know! I was just talking to Michelle about that yesterday. I'm so sick of us being interrupted!" she exclaimed.

"Exactly! So I was thinking, maybe whenever you have some free time, you wanna…go out with me?" he asked nervously.

"You mean, like on a date?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Jeff, I was waiting forever for you to ask me that!" she exclaimed happily.

"So, is that a 'yes'?" he asked with hope.

"Of course!" Kelly smiled.

"Awesome!" Jeff smiled back, wrapping her in a hug.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

Soon enough, everyone met up with him for the next challenge…

"Hey, you guys! Isn't it a beautiful day?" he asked.

"It was before you came out." replied Shawn.

"All right, now I've noticed lately that some team members are having…issues among each other. Am I right?" he asked.

Cena glared at Punk while he glared back at him.

Maria glared at Melina.

Batista glared at Randy.

"Well, mostly members from Team Raw." he finished. "So, today's challenge is going to be a trust challenge. There will be three parts to the challenge, part one being a rock climbing contest, and preparing your partner a poisonous fish lunch. Part two is the reversed William Tell challenge, and the blind-jumping contest, and part three is the blindfolded downhill toboggan race. Each of you will pick a partner from YOUR team, and make a wise decision, because this is a trust challenge and you obviously need to TRUST your partner. The team who wins the most contests wins today's challenge! Enough said, everyone, pick a partner and meet me for the rock climbing contest!"

"Do you trust me, Jeff?" Kelly asked with a smile.

"Now, who would I trust more than my best friend? he replied, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, Kofi, I can trust you, dude." Matt told him.

"We'll make a great team, mon!" he agreed.

"Hey, Michelle? I'm lonely." joked Triple H.

"Aww! I'll be your partner!" she smiled, giggling.

"Hello?" cried Edge. "What about ME?"

"Ok, this is a one time deal. Edge, since you don't have a partner, you can hang out and be…I don't know, my personal assistant." replied Jericho.

"WHOO!" he cheered.

"Punky, we'll make the best team, won't we?" asked Maria.

"No doubt, babe." he agreed.

"Hey, Rand. You? Me?" asked Melina.

"Sure thing. Maybe I'll come up with a plan as the day goes along and you can help me out." he replied.

"Hey, Mickie, you want to be partners with little ol me?" asked Shawn.

"Of course!" she smiled.

"So, Cena. I know we're not the best of friends, but we've been tag team partners before, so I guess we both know about trust." said Batista.

"Yeah. As long as we don't end up killing each other throughout the day, we're good." he agreed.

After that, both teams met up with Jericho at this huge mountain…

"Ok, you guys. I need one set of partners from each team for this one." he said.

"You wanna do this one, Maria?" asked Punk.

"Sure! I cannot wait to win this one." she replied, glaring towards Michelle.

"So Maria's going, huh? Well, if she's going, then so will I!" Michelle snapped.

"Well, uh, all righty then!" exclaimed Triple H.

After they were set up, Michelle and Maria were up first, with Punk and Triple H ready to go behind them.

"Ready..set..GO!" called Jericho.

Both teams cheered as Michelle and Maria climbed as fast as they possibly could. Michelle gained the lead, with Maria close behind her.

"Can't keep up, princess?" she asked. "Well, get ready to taste dirt!"

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" demanded Maria.

Then, Michelle kicked a clod of rocks from the mountain, striking her enemy in the face.

"AAH!" she screamed.

"Maria, you all right?" asked Punk.

"I'm fine!" she replied, staring bullets through Michelle.

"Nice job, Michelle!" exclaimed Triple H. "Keep on kicking ass up there!"

"You bet I will!" she replied.

Then, when Michelle was almost up, Maria grabbed onto her ankle and pulled her down, gaining her and Punk the lead.

"HEY!" she cried.

"Sorry, whore! Better luck next time!" she smiled.

As Maria was about to reach the top, Punk almost lost his balance up on the rocks, too, sending her down.

"AAH! Punky, what are you doing?" she cried.

"Sorry! Just lost my balance!" he called back.

"Well, please watch where you're going! We can't lose this one!" she replied.

Little did they know, Michelle and Triple H already made it to the top!

"WOOHOO!" cheered Team Smackdown.

"What the—" cried Maria and Punk.

"How's the weather down there?" Triple H asked slyly.

"Pretty cold, huh?" Michelle added.

The two glared angrily at them.

"Team Smackdown wins the first half of part one!" announced Jericho. "C'mon, our next contest isn't gonna be as easy."

A few minutes later, everyone went to the cafeteria for the second half of part one…

"Ok, gang. The second half of part one is the deadly poisonous fish challenge! One partner has to feed their partner a poisonous blowfish, but they HAVE to cook it right or else your partner's gonna be the one who pays for it. The team whose member doesn't get sick wins!" he announced. "Who's up?"

"Hey, Matt, you ready for this one, mon?" asked Kofi.

"Sure am, dude!" he replied. "Hey, what's with the bunny rabbit?"

He was holding a random bunny with both light and dark fur. "I found him when we were at the mountains! I need someone to take care of him, though." he replied.

Then, Maria lit up and her eyes sparkled. "OOH! BUNNY RABBIT! Can I, can I PLEASE watch him for you?" she asked excitedly.

"Sure thing. I need him back by the end of the day, though." he replied.

"YAY! Thanks so much! Aw, you're a cute widdle bunny, yes you are!" she smiled, heading off.

"How touching." Jericho said dully. "Who's representing Team Raw?"

"Hey Shawn, you wanna do this one?" asked Mickie.

"Sure! I want to be the chef, though. That way, I can prove that I AM a good cook and that I won't poison you." he smiled back.

"Aw, I believe you!" she smiled back.

"Ok, chefs, everything that you need's in the kitchen, and tasters, just wait right here." replied Jericho. "Hey, Edge, where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Uhh…I was going to see Randy and Melina." he replied slowly.

He shoved him back in his seat. "Uh, I don't think so. I'm not gonna watch you make more plans to sabotage anyone else." he replied.

"I oughta poison you, too." Edge muttered, crossing his arms.

Meanwhile, Kofi and Shawn were in the back, preparing their partners' lunches…

"Ok, 'fry for 25 ½ minutes'" read Kofi.

"Well, this doesn't seem too bad." replied Shawn. "At least Randy and Edge aren't here to ruin things or else I'd have to throw em both in the freezer!"

"That's right, mon!" he agreed. "I just hope that Maria takes good care of my bunny rabbit."

"She's unpredictable. One minute, she's ready to strangle Michelle, the next, she's head over heels for ol Fluffy." replied Shawn.

Then, the bunny hopped into the kitchen, and nearly hopped into the frying pan, before Kofi caught him. "Whoa, that was a close one, mon! Now don't you be hopping anywhere, you hear?" he asked it.

After that, Maria came rushing in the room. "I'm sorry! He just hopped out of my arms!" she cried.

"No problem. Just be careful next time." he replied.

"Don't worry! I won't let this cute little thing outta my sight!" she smiled, heading off.

"TIME'S UP!" called Jericho.

"Well, let's hope that neither of us kills anyone out there." Shawn gulped.

When the two came outside with everything, they found Matt and Mickie in the middle of an intense make out session.

Mickie giggled. "Matty, watch your tongue!" she muttered in the kiss.

Shawn cleared his throat loudly. "What if there's children watching this? Think of the babies!" he cried.

"Oh, sorry!" Mickie cried, smiling.

"Yeah, this is one of those rare times that we actually get to see each other." Matt blushed.

"All righty then." replied Jericho. "Shawn and Mickie, you're up first."

He handed her a plate and said, "Bon appetite. Or however that goes."

Mickie tasted some of the fish, and then liked it so much that she finished the whole thing. "Mmm! Shawn, this is delicious!"

He blushed. "Aw, well, it was nothing." he smiled.

"Ok, Kofi and Matt, you're up!" announced Edge.

"Hey, that's MY line, dummy!" snapped Jericho.

Matt tasted some of the stuff, and started to finish the whole thing until…

"…." he replied.

"Matt?" asked Mickie.

"You all right, mon?" asked Kofi.

"…Ehhhh…." he cried, his face turning green.

"I'm sorry, mon! I don't know what went wrong!" he cried.

"It's—It's no problem." Matt said, stumbling. "I'm just gonna…OH GOD!" Matt yelled, speeding to the nearest outhouse.

"Matty, I'm coming with you!" Mickie cried, chasing after him.

"Oops." said Maria. "I guess it was my fault for distracting you with the bunny while you were cooking. Sorry."

"It's no problem." replied Kofi.

"And lo and behold…Team Raw scores the WIN! WHOO!" exclaimed Edge. "I'm cheering for the wrong team, haha."

"HEY I am the host around here! I do the talking!" snapped Jericho.

Then, he slowly turned around to see Jeff staring him down. "If anything happens to my brother because of your dumb idea, you'll wake up tomorrow, breathing through a tube." he said threateningly, before walking away.

Jericho just gulped nervously.

Later, Mickie took a sickened Matt back to his bunk room to rest, while everyone went to a deserted part of the camp for Part 2 of their challenge…

"Ok, everyone. Congratulations for making it to Part 2! The first half will be the Reversed William Tell match, where one partner will wear an arrow on their head, and the other partner-who has to be blindfolded-will have to toss the apple right through your partner's arrow. Whichever team completes this challenge correctly, wins!" announced Jericho. "Who's representing who?"

"Jeff, let's do this one!" exclaimed Kelly.

"All right. I'll make sure not to hurt that pretty little face of yours." he smiled.

"You're so sweet!" she smiled back.

"Hey, Cena. You think we can handle this one?" asked Batista.

"I'm the champ! I can handle whatever life throws at me!" he exclaimed.

"Oh?" Batista asked with a smirk.

Soon, Kelly and John had arrows strapped to their heads, while a blindfolded Jeff and Batista were ready to aim.

"Ok, peoples! Ready…set…" began Edge.

"I swear, if you say any of my lines one more time…" interrupted Jericho.

"GO!"

Jeff got ready, focused completely on the arrow, and fired for the target.

Kelly looked nervous as the apple was flying right towards her. She closed her eyes in fear, but the apple hit the arrow straight on!

"Yay! Jeff, you did it!" she exclaimed.

He took the blindfold off. "I did?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed, running to hug him. Only, her arrow was sticking in the way. The two tried to find a way to hug, until the two just decided to shake hands. "Top of the morning to ya!" joked Jeff while Kelly laughed.

"Well done, Team Smackdown! Batista, Cena, you're up!" announced Jericho.

"And don't even think of trying something funny, Dave!" called John.

"Who said I would?" he asked back.

He got ready, aimed, and fired.

"Damn." Cena said, bracing for impact.

Instead of hitting the arrow, the apple whacked him square in the face.

"OW!" he cried.

"John!" cried Michelle.

"I guess I missed. Here, let me try again." said Batista.

"NO!" cried everyone else.

He threw another apple, which thumped his forehead.

"Is it naptime…" Cena slurred, falling to the ground in unconsciousness.

As Batista was about to throw another one, Michelle stopped him. "That's enough." she said calmly.

He took off the blindfold. "Whoa, did I do that to him?"

"Yes!" everyone else exclaimed.

He smiled. "Cool."

Later that day, Cena woke up from unconsciousness, and everyone was getting ready for the next contest…

"All right, welcome to the second half of part 2. This contest is called the blind jumping catch, and the rules are basic. One partner will jump off of this cliff here, and the blindfolded partner will have to catch them. Whoever completes this contest correctly scores another point for your team." explained Jericho. "Who's up this time?"

"Michelle, looks like it's our turn again!" exclaimed Triple H. "Ready to kick ass?"

"Sure am, Hunter!" she replied. "Let's do this!"

"Hey, Melina, ready to win?" asked Randy.

"Well, of course we will! We're Rated RKO!" she smiled back.

A few minutes later, Randy and Triple H were both blindfolded, while Michelle and Melina were ready to leap.

"May the best woman win." said Michelle.

"Don't worry. I will." replied Melina.

"Ready…set…LEAPFROG!" announced Edge.

Jericho just glared at him for about the 17th time today.

Michelle jumped off first, but Randy shoved HHH out of the way, as a cheating move.

"Michelle? Where are you?" called HHH.

*THUMP!*

She landed in a puddle. "Right here." she said dully.

He took off the blindfold and helped her up. "You all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, but that jerk Randy cheated again!" she cried.

"He was the one who shoved me?" he demanded. "I'll bury your ass into the ground!"

"Haha. Ok, for your information, I was blindfolded too, so I had no idea that you were there!" Randy argued.

"Jericho, are you gonna allow that?" demanded Triple H.

He was reading through an old Nick Jr. Magazine. "Whatever." he replied.

"Nick Jr?" Edge cried, shocked.

"MIND YOUR OWN BIZ!" Jericho cried, turning away.

Meanwhile…

"Ok, Melina, you ready?" called Randy.

"WHOO!" she cheered, leaping right down…into his arms. "Hi."

He took off the blindfold. "Sweet!" he cheered.

Triple H and Michelle glared at them.

"RAW WINS!" cheered Edge.

"Will you shut up?" snapped Jericho. "God!"

Meanwhile, Kofi's bunny leaped out of Maria's arms, and headed for the ocean nearby.

"Oh no! Come back here, sweetie!" she called after him.

She ran and ran, until she found him in the middle of the ocean. "Come here, sweetie! Come to mommy!" she called.

Then, a snake came from out of nowhere and gulped down the bunny in one bite!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she screamed in terror.

Than, an eagle swooped the snake in its beak, and then a random shark ate the eagle, snake, and bunny in one gulp!

Maria just stood there in shock. "Oh my God, he's gonna kill me." she muttered. "What do I do?"

Meanwhile, everyone else heard her screams and joined her.

"What's going on, Maria?" Punk asked in a rush. "Are you all right?"

"I am…but not Mr. Bunny." she said sadly.

"What happened?" asked Kofi.

"Uh, he kinda leaped out of my arms, and ran to the middle of the ocean. I tried to go after him, but before I could, a snake ate him." she said sadly.

"Oh, no!" he cried.

"And then an eagle ate the snake." she continued.

"What?" he cried.

"And THEN, a shark ate the eagle." she finished. "I'm SO sorry! I tried to rescue him, I really did!"

He sighed. "It's all right. I guess he was meant to go free."

"But I don't think he deserved such a violent death." replied Batista.

Everyone glared at him.

"Sorry." he said quickly.

Later that day, everyone met Jericho at the steepest hill of the camp for their last contest…

"Congratulations, gang! You all made it to the third and final part of the challenge, which is the blind downhill toboggan race. All of you guys are gonna be in this one. The first person in each toboggan will be blindfolded, while the rest of the team has to steer him or her in the right direction. Both teams are tied at the moment, so the team that makes it to the finish line first, wins!" exclaimed Jericho. "And Edge? Since Matt's out sick, you need to take his place and help out your team."

"But commentating is fun!" he argued.

"HEY! You have been nothing but a ginormous pain in my ass since the moment you stepped on this god forsaken island, so you WILL get out of my hair, and you WILL join your team! GOT IT?" he demanded.

"Y2Jerkoff." Edge muttered.

Soon, everyone got settled in each team's toboggan, and Shawn was the leader for Team Raw, while Edge decided to jump in and lead Team Smackdown.

"All right, this is for the win! Ready…set…GO!" exclaimed Jericho.

Both teams sped down the steep hill.

"Turn left, Shawn!" cried Mickie.

He turned left, missing a tree, then right, dodging a deer that was in the way.

"So, I'm a pretty good driver, huh?" Shawn asked contently.

"BOULDER!" screamed the rest of the team.

"Of course. I'm prepared for this." he replied, sending the team flying over the bounder. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed happily. "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

On Smackdown's side…

"Left, Edge, left!" exclaimed his team.

"Left?" he asked.

"Right!" agreed Kelly.

"You want me to go right?" he asked.

"NO! Right, you go LEFT! And hurry!" exclaimed Jeff.

Edge got confused and almost crashed his team into the woods.

Meanwhile, Batista noticed another bunny that looked like Kofi's.

"Hey, Kingston! I found a friend for ya!" he called, tossing the bunny to him.

"Really, mon? Thank you!" he replied.

Both teams were almost at the finish line when Batista's callout distracted Shawn.

"Ooh, what bunny?" he asked, taking off the blindfold for a second.

"Shawn, NO!" his team cried.

"Huh? Oh, crud!" he exclaimed, quickly putting the blindfold back on.

Team Raw crossed the finish line first.

"I'm so sorry, you guys." he apologized. "I just got distracted by all this bunny talk."

"It's all right, Shawn." replied Maria. "Maybe Jericho didn't notice."

Then, Team Smackdown came in next.

"Damn." said Triple H.

"Did we win?" asked Edge, who still had on his blindfold.

"Ok, I saw everything. Team Raw, even though you won the race, Shawn took off his blindfold for a second, so you lost the challenge." announced Jericho.

"We actually won!" exclaimed Jeff. "HOT DAMN!"

Team Raw glared at him.

"Aww." he finished.

That night, Michelle and Cena confronted Maria and Punk again…

"You lucky little whore." Maria told her.

"You know, I really don't care what you call me, because I'm not the one on the chopping block." Michelle said confidently. "I'll catch you later, John."

He kissed her. "Sure will, babe." he replied.

"John, you're just gonna let her speak to me that way?" cried Maria.

"I really don't think that either of us have anything else to say to one another." he said seriously, going ahead of them.

"He's just jealous, Maria." said Punk. "His girlfriend's on the other team and he's on his own here. We're in the clear."

Later, everyone arrived to the Campfire of Truth for the next elimination…

"All right, Team Raw. You all played hard today, but unfortunately, one of you gots to go! Let's show everyone at home who you guys voted off." said Jericho.

-Hidden Camera-

Batista: "There's not many people left, so I'll just vote for Orton."

Cena: "I've decided to vote for Punk. Don't ask."

Randy: "Batista screwed the team up when he distracted us!"

Punk: "I obviously vote for Cena. Nobody badmouths my girl and gets away with it."

Shawn: "I know I made a huge mistake, but Batista distracted me!"

Mickie: "Batista couldn't wait to give Kofi the bunny until AFTER the race?"

Maria: "I need to vote off anyone who associates with Michelle. Sorry, John."

Melina: "Batista made one mistake too many."

-Back outside-

"All right, here's the results. When I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Melina…Shawn…Mickie…Maria…Punk…and Orton."

John looked a little nervous while Batista just sat there, not really caring.

"John and Batista. One of you stays and one of you leaves. The person leaving tonight is…"

Everyone was dead silent.

"Batista." he finished.

John breathed a sigh of relief while Punk and Maria looked pissed.

"So, Dave, what are you gonna take away from all this?" asked Jericho.

"Aw, nothing much. I still get paid for this, right?" he asked.

"Oh, whoops, the yacht of suckers awaits! Bye bye now!" Chris exclaimed, shoving him away.

"I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT FOR THIS, JERICHO!" he cried as the yacht sailed away.

"So, Cena. Seems like you and Michelle have all the luck, don't you?" Punk asked him. "That was a close one."

"Just so you both know, neither of you intimidate me, so I'm not afraid of your threats. Besides, one of you might be on the chopping block next." he replied, walking away.

Punk and Maria shot him a look as Cena left the two behind.


	12. Episode 12

Total WWE Island: Boot Camping With Big Show!

Episode 12

"What's up, everyone? This is Y2J, Chris Jericho here with another exciting week on TWI! Last week, both teams

competed in the very first three part challenge of trust! Each team broke into partners, while the first half of the first

contest was a rock climbing match, seeing Maria and Punk versing Michelle and Triple H. The girls were literally

fighting each other to reach the top, but when Maria had her back turned, it was Michelle and the Cerebral Assassin

who scored Team Smackdown the first point. The second half of the first contest had one partner preparing their

partner a poisonous blowfish dinner, making sure that their partner wasn't the one getting poisoned. For this one,

Matt and Kofi teamed up against Shawn and Mickie from Team Raw. Everything was going fine until Kofi's bunny got

loose in the kitchen, distracting him from his work. Shawn fed Mickie with no problem, but Matt unfortunately got

some of the poison, sending him to an outhouse and sending Team Raw their first point. The first half of the second

challenge was a reversed William Tell match, where Jeff and Kelly scored an easy point for Team Smackdown, but

Batista went a little too far, knocking Cena out. The second half of the second challenge was a blind jumping catch,

where Randy intentionally 'shoved' HHH out of Michelle's way, causing him and Melina to score another easy point for

Team Raw. Meanwhile, tragedy struck Kofi's bunny after Maria accidentally let it loose. The third and final challenge

was the blind downhill toboggan race, where Batista found a replacement bunny for Kofi, but also distracted Shawn,

which led to Team Raw's disqualification. The team agreed that Batista made a huge mistake, and he was the next

to be eliminated. This week, will Punk's mouth get him in deeper trouble than he already is? And who will get the

boot next? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Mickie joined Jeff, Kelly, and Matt at Team Smackdown's site to make sure that Matt was still ok from the last challenge…

"Matt, you sure you're all right?" asked Mickie. "I don't want you to start playing around and then get sick again!"

"Don't worry, Mickie, I'm as good as new!" he exclaimed. "It was just a little food poisoning, that's all."

"A little?" asked Kelly. "You turned as green as the swamp thing when you ran out of there!"

"I know, but I'm back and ready to rock!" he replied.

"That's good, now I don't have to stab Jericho through the neck with a pipe like I planned to." replied Jeff.

Back at Team Raw's site, Edge met up with Melina and Randy…

"Hey, Rand, Melina." he greeted. "How's it going?"

"Not good. I haven't come up with a good plan for a while. I need an idea!" Randy exclaimed.

"Hmm. You know, Punk and Maria have been bagging on Cena ever since he and Michelle have been going out." said Melina. "And since Michelle's on the other team, Punk and Maria, like, never leave John alone about it."

"Where are you getting to?" asked Randy.

"I say we help John out, by bashing on Punk and Maria. I've been meaning to get back at her, anyway." she replied.

Randy smiled. "I like that. I like that a lot. But how should we bash on them?" he asked.

"Depends on the next challenge. When there's a good time, I'll think of something and let you know." replied Melina.

"Nice thinking, Mel!" exclaimed Edge. "Rand, what do you think?"

"Melina, welcome to Rated RKO." he said gratefully.

Meanwhile, Michelle met up with John in another area of the camp…

"Hey, John! I decided to show up after all!" she smiled.

"That's good, babe. I need you to talk to right now, anyway." he replied.

"What's wrong, sweetie? Are you ok?" she asked, worried.

"I'm fine. It's just that Punk and Maria are getting on my last nerve." he replied.

"Oh no. What did they do now?" she asked.

"Since they know that we're on different teams, they always rub it in. So obnoxiously, I should say. I swear, if they push me to the limit, I'm gonna find some drastic way to break them up!" he exclaimed.

"I understand how you feel. You tell me this all the time, so now I need to tell you. Just don't let them bother you, and hang on. They'll be off sooner or later." she replied.

He smiled at her. "You're right. I don't know what I'd do without you, Michelle."

She smiled back. "I don't know what I'd do without you either, John. I love you."

Then, they shared another passionate kiss.

"I love you too, Michelle." he replied.

Then, to their dismay, Punk and Maria ran into them.

"What the hell do you two want?" demanded Michelle.

"Hear that, Punky? Cena's little bitch is yapping again. You need a hydrant or something?" asked Maria.

Then, out of rage, Michelle jumped her and began attacking her. While the girls beat the living hell out of one another, the guys tried to break them up.

"What, Cena? You can't keep her on a leash?" asked Punk. "If you let her loose, she'll just find another guy to drool all over!"

After that, Cena punched him square in the face. "You just don't know when to shut up, do you? Come on, Michelle, there are some dirty buzzards around here and I'm starting to get sick."

As they all walked off in opposite directions, Randy, Edge, and Melina (who were hiding in a bush), saw the whole scene.

"You weren't kidding, Mel." said Randy. "I can't wait till you come up with a plan. You can take Maria, but Punk and I have a horrible history together. He's all mine."

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!" _announced Jericho.

Soon enough, both teams met up with Jericho for their surprise challenge…

"Hey gang! I got some good news!" he exclaimed.

"You got fired?" Triple H asked happily.

"No." he said flatly. "I'm not in charge of today's contest!"

"YAY!" cheered everyone.

"Instead, I found a replacement. Come on out, man!" Jericho called.

Then, everyone turned silent once Chef Big Show came out.

"Today, Big Show's responsible for everything. So if you have any problems, ask him. Have fun!" he cheered, speeding into his office.

"…Is this gonna be fun?" asked Shawn.

"Oh, today will be anything BUT fun. Today, you don't belong to your friends. You don't belong to your boyfriend or girlfriend. You don't belong to Jericho. You belong to **ME**." he announced.

"Hey, I'm the Rated R Superstar! I don't belong to anyone!" cried Edge.

Then, Big Show grabbed a megaphone. "SHUT UP, MAGGOT!" he yelled.

"What did you call me?" he asked, offended.

"For today's challenge, all of you are enrolled in Chef Big Show's Boot Camp!" he exclaimed. "I'll lead you all through many hell inducing challenges, and whichever one of you is left standing, wins for your team. GOT THAT?"

Everyone muttered.

"You wanna repeat that for me?" he said threateningly.

"Sir, yes sir." they all said dully.

"Good. Now I want you all to meet me at north base in 0800 hours!" he continued.

Everyone got up from the bleachers, but…

"HALT!"

"What now?" muttered CM Punk.

"You don't just get up all willy-nilly! You don't know anything about the army, do you?" asked Big Show.

"No—kinda…" they replied.

"When I say 'fall in', you all line up in a straight line and look at me. When I say, 'Atten-hut', you don't say a word and follow my instructions. When I say, 'FORWARD, march', you all follow me, and when I say, 'About face', you all turn around to the opposite direction. GOT IT?" he demanded.

"Not really." said Jeff.

"Let's try this again. Troops, FALL IN!" he called.

Some of them stood in a straight line and faced him, while some people stood in the opposite direction.

He slapped his forehead. "This is going to be a long day." he said, disappointed.

Later, everyone seemed to understand what was going on and met Big Show in an abandoned part of the camp. Oh, and it was pouring down rain, too…

Everyone, shivering from the cold rain, stood at attention while Big Show spoke.

"All right, troops. Your first challenge is to see how long you can take holding a canoe over your heads before you pass out. Whoever gives up will be eliminated from the contest, and the last person standing for their team will win the contest. Any questions?" he asked.

"Yeah, I have one!" called Punk.

"Listen to me. You address me by 'Sir'. You got that?" he demanded.

"I don't have to address you by anything. Now can I ask my question?" he asked.

"Well, not if you're gonna stick with that attitude, maggot. Get with your team and hold up the canoe." Show ordered.

Punk just glared at him. "I'm not if you're gonna keep calling me 'maggot'. I'm not a bug, you know." he replied.

"That's it! Punk, if you don't shut your mouth right now, I'm gonna teach you a lesson!" he exclaimed.

"What lesson, how not to eat my weight in doughnuts like you?" he asked back.

Big Show frowned hard and stared at him.

A few minutes later…

"ALL RIGHT, TROOPS, STAY STANDING!" Show called to everyone else.

He also managed to bury Punk's body in the ground, so that only his head was sticking out. Show glanced back to look at Punk, when he replied, "Yeah, Merry Freakin' Christmas to you, too!"

"Why's he doing this to my Punky?" Maria said, holding up the boat with Team Raw.

"I should go over there and put a bucket over his head." joked Cena.

"Oh, be quiet, you!" she snapped.

John smirked while Randy said, "That was a good one, Cena."

"Uh, thanks?" he replied.

"Listen, I see that you dislike him as much as I do. And since the both of us are on the same team, we should work together. What do you think?" asked Randy.

"Ok, I know we're enemies and all, but in this case, I'll let it slide." he replied. "Besides, if Punk keeps on fighting with Big Show, he's gonna get himself kicked outta here in no time!"

"My thoughts exactly." agreed Randy. "It'll be good for you, Michelle, and I."

"And after this is all over, we're back to hating each other, right?" asked Cena.

"Definitely."

Back on Smackdown's side, a few hours later…

"Hey, Jeff, remember how we were talking about our date yesterday, and where we should have it?" asked Kelly.

"Yeah." he replied.

"Well, maybe we should have it right here! I mean, before we got here, this place was totally abandoned. And it's not too far from camp, either. What do you think?" she asked.

He looked around the place and nodded in agreement. "I think you're right, Kel! As long as no wild animals attack us, we'll have all the alone time we could want." he agreed.

"And maybe even time for a kiss?" she asked.

"That's what I'm hoping for." he replied, smiling.

Many MORE hours later…

"Matt, you sure you're all right from yesterday, mon?" asked Kofi. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, dude, it's ok." he replied. "I'm as good as new."

"That's a relief, mon." he replied.

"So, how's life with your new bunny?" he asked. "You name him anything special?"

"To tell you the truth, mon, I lost him last night." he replied.

"Already? But you just got him!" exclaimed Matt.

"Yeah, but I think that he was meant to be free. This IS the outdoors, y'know." he replied.

"Free to be himself, I suppose…._Born—" _he began singing.

"Oh, please don't, man." Triple H interrupted. "Oh, Michelle, you look happy. Is it because Punk's a sprout from the ground?"

She laughed. "Yeah! Maria's probably miserable right now. This is wonderful." she replied.

"Wow, it's hard to believe that you two are at each other's throats. Seems like just yesterday you two were BFFs." he replied.

"Well, that was the past. That was before she became a jealous control freak!" she exclaimed.

Then all of a sudden, their boat became too heavy for them, and the entire team collapsed to the ground.

"What the—" began HHH.

They all found Edge relaxing inside. "I ain't doing any heavy lifting." he said with a smile.

Shawn and Mickie saw what happened.

"Wow. We won." she exclaimed, surprised. "We won!"

"Yeah, we won, even though all hell's breaking loose on our team. How wonderful!" Shawn exclaimed.

Later that evening, the teams met up in the cafeteria…

"Ok, so is this the part where we get a nice bubble bath followed by a good night's sleep?" asked Melina.

Big Show chuckled. "Heh heh, NO!" he shouted through the megaphone. "This is BOOT CAMP, you people expect me to let you sleep? Now, I'm sure after all that heavy lifting, you'll all want some ice to soothe your tired muscles. Am I right?"

Cena's arms felt rubbery. "That'd be nice."

"Well, TOO DAMN BAD!" he yelled again. "Now—"

*SLAM!*

Everyone turned around to see an angry and wet Punk standing at the doorway, the lighting outside adding to how pissed off he was. "Hi, Show. Did you forget someone? You know, you buried him up to his neck in the dirt. He was so thirsty, that he had to drink the rainwater! Do you know how many pollutants are in that stuff—" he began.

"Are you done?" asked Show.

"Depends." he replied.

"Ok. Now as I was saying, you troops deserve a nice meal break to get you geared up for the challenges ahead." he said.

"Oh, hot damn! Do you have steaks and pasta?" Hunter asked excitedly.

"WRONG! You troops don't even deserve to eat the scraps under my boot. lnstead, you will enjoy a nice, hot, steaming bowl of…" he replied, lifting up a lid to reveal…

"Grease?" asked Jeff.

"Year old grease." corrected Big Show. "You can all drink that down while you can have an all-you-can-eat buffet from the garbage here."

"Aw, HELL no!" cried Randy. "If you think that I'm eating garbage, then—"

"You want me to jam this megaphone up your…*whispers*" asked Show.

Randy's eyes widened. "Well, there's still some meat on this porkchop bone." he said quickly.

Meanwhile, Punk was grumpily sitting in a corner while Maria joined him. "Hi, Punky. I got you a cup of uh, grease. It's all they have."

He chuckled. "No thanks, Ria."

"CM, I hate the way everyone's treating you." she continued. "You could've caught pneumonia staying outside in the rain for that long. I want to help you."

"Babe, don't worry. Worse things may happen to me as the days come ahead, but I don't care. I'm not listening to that quack who thinks that he's suddenly a certified Boot Camp instructor!" he replied. "He will not silence me!"

She smiled. "Oh, you're so hot when you talk that way. Kiss me." she replied, before the two wrapped themselves in an intensely passionate kiss.

On the other side of the room, Randy, Edge, Cena, and Melina all met up…

"I wonder how Punk dug himself outta that hole." Randy chuckled.

"Hole." Edge chuckled along.

"Well, like we said before, if he keeps up his attitude, Show's going to destroy him." replied Cena.

"And I've noticed how miserable that Maria was seeing her man buried up to his neck. Maybe she'll be so upset that she'll vote herself off." Melina said with an evil smile.

"God, I wish I could be on the same team as you guys." Edge sighed, sipping on some grease. "Well, I wouldn't mind if Cena left."

"Oh, shut up, Edge." he replied. "Wait, are you actually drinking that stuff?"

"Yeah. It's actually not half bad. Tastes like bacon." he replied.

Shocked, the others slowly backed away from him.

Later that evening, around 11:45 pm…

"Troops, FALL IN!" called Big Show. "Atten-hut!"

Everyone, including Punk, faced him and were silent.

"Ok, Team Raw won the first contest, but there's still a long way to go. The next contest is a choreography challenge."

"Uh, sir?" asked Kelly. "What does this have to do with boot camp?"

"I'm glad you asked. This teaches you how to follow directions and be coordinated. So everyone, spread out and follow my lead." he said, turning on the stereo.

"Oh, gee, this should be loads of fun!" Punk exclaimed sarcastically, crossing his arms.

"…_That this is thriller! Thriller night_

'_Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try_

_Thriller, thriller night_

_So let me hold you tight and share a _

_killer, diller, chiller, thriller here tonight"_

Big Show led the gang, minus Punk, in doing the entire Thriller dance. Yes, they ALL danced the entire dance.

"What the HELL?" Punk asked, shocked.

" '_Cause this is thriller, thriller night_

_Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try_

_Thriller, thriller night_

_So let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, ow!"_

"PELVIC THRUSTS!" Big Show exclaimed, doing just that.

But before he could, the music stopped and everyone looked to find Punk standing by the stereo.

"Aw, come on, that was fun!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Ok, are you people THAT desperate to impress HIM?" Punk demanded, pointing to Big Show. "You don't need to be making fools of yourselves for his enjoyment!" he continued. "Where's your dignity? Where's your self respect?"

"I have no self respect!" Edge announced happily. "I drank grease, damn it, and it was GOOD!"

Punk looked at him. "Ok, everyone other than Edge, can you understand what I'm saying to you?" he asked.

"Punk, why don't you just shut your mouth before you get us all in trouble?" Randy asked with a smirk, secretly enjoying all of this.

"No, I will NOT be silenced!" he cried back. "Big Show, why don't you tell RANDY not to speak when he's not spoken to?"

"Believe it or not, Punk, Randy hasn't done a single horrible thing all night. Unlike you." he replied.

"You're kidding me, right? You're gonna side with the guy who's been causing trouble ever since he got here?" he demanded.

"Well, I can't take your word for anything. You've been breaking the rules here ever since boot camp started." he replied.

Punk just glared at him. "You're just a trip, you know that? You're not a real boot camp instructor. You couldn't even survive boot camp! And you know what else? You're probably the WORST cook I've ever seen in my life! What are you trying to do, kill all the wildlife you see? You probably store all the junk food away for your fat ass! News flash, big man: Let's try some Slim Fast, shall we?" he finished, patting Show's stomach.

Shocked, everyone was dead silent.

"Get in the closet." Show replied.

"What?"

"GET IN THE CLOSET!" he shouted. "I'll fix you! Now, GO!"

Punk chuckled. "Fine, I'll humor you. I'm 'Gettin' in the closet'!" he smirked, doing just that.

Show sighed. "Ok. Anyway, troops, meet me in the mess hall for your next challenge." he said.

"When does the sleep factor come in?" asked Matt.

"NO SLEEP!" he shouted, scaring them all off.

Later, around 1:25 am, the gang was settled in the mess hall.

"Ok, troops. You next challenge is to write a 5 page essay on why Chef Big Show is a wonderful influence on your dull, dull lives. You got until 2:00. Go." he said, handing them all papers.

"Aw, I don't wanna do this…" muttered Michelle, jotting something down.

"Don't worry, Chelle. Punk's totally screwing himself tonight, so we won't have to worry about him for much longer." Cena said, kissing her cheek.

She smiled. "Thank God. Now I just hope I'll be awake to see it happen." she replied.

Later…

"Ok, time's up, give me your papers." Show said. "Ok, 'I think that Big Show is totally, totally, totally, totally...' Why does this go on for 5 pages?"

"Sorry, I got bored." replied Kelly.

Big Show looked at another paper. "...'Oink?' " he read, looking at Edge.

"Yeah, don't care." he replied.

Next paper…

"The…" read Show. "Jeff, you didn't even finish this!"

He was sleeping.

"HARDY!" he shouted.

"I DIDN'T TOUCH THAT CAT!" he shouted, waking up.

Silence.

"Ok. Hey, what's this? 'I think that Chef Big Show is a wonderful influence to the millions, and I believe that if more people would listen to him, they would have a higher level of respect for him. And this is exactly what I would say if I were lying through my teeth. Show is really a _fatty _who does nothing but poisons innocent civilians for a living, people, this man should be put away immediately-' Who the hell wrote THIS?" he demanded.

Punk smirked, waving his hand. "Hiya!"

Show growled in reply.

Later, at around 2:30 am…

Show led the gang to this military course, and yes, it was still raining outside.

"All right, troops, it's time for your next stage in military training. You're all gonna run this obstacle course, and you won't stop until you fall out from exhaustion. The last person standing will win a point for their team. Any questions?" he asked.

"I bet you're just jealous that you're not even fit enough to run this course with the rest of us. I'm sure you were an even better athlete in your…thinner days." Punk smirked.

Show continued glaring at him. "GO."

The gang sped off through the mud, climbing over the first obstacle, which was a high wall. Next, they had to slide through these tires suspended in the air. Some made it through fine, but others had some trouble.

"Hey! Help a guy out, please!" Hunter cried, stuck in a tire. "My shoulders are too muscular for this!"

"I'll help you out, buddy!" Shawn said, superkicking him through the tire.

"Thanks, man!" he replied, holding his back in pain. "Ow…"

Next, they had to crawl down through the mud, dodging these sharp switchblade knives that were swinging back and forth.

"Jeff, help me!" Kelly cried, a knife almost striking her.

He wrapped an arm around her and helped her crawl through. "Just lay low, Kel, we'll be all right." he said calmly.

The final obstacle had them using ropes to swing across a pit of quicksand.

"God, I all want is my damned bubble bath!" Melina sobbed miserably.

"I AM TARZAN! FEAR ME!" Edge cried, swinging so hard that he crashed face first into a wall. "Ow."

Maria ran through the course for a second time, struggling over the wall before she fell face first in the mud. "I fell in the mud." she said sadly. "I'm upset."

Hours and hours went by, and the gang was still running around in circles trying to complete the course for as many times as they could.

Michelle leaped over the wall again, and about 5 other people tried to climb over at the same time, causing the wall to tip over and crush them all down. Melina had to pull a struggling Randy through one of the tires, Mickie fell face first in the mud, growing more and more annoyed, Edge pouted, swinging through the air with one of the ropes tangled around his ankle, Shawn was trying to dodge the swinging switchblades again, while he sunk down in the mud, as Punk effortlessly crawled through. "Come on, Shawn, you can do it!" he called. "It's fun!"

"Horsepuckey!" he called back.

"Come on, at least we're light years ahead of Big Show! He'd probably end up absorbing all the mud here! He'd probably mistake it for chocolate pudding and eat it, too." Punk continued, freezing when he bumped into Show's boot. He looked down at him. "WHAT did you just say?" he asked.

"Why? You afraid that I'm right?" he smirked back, leaping up, taking off his hat and jokingly kissing his bald head. "Wow, look at that shine!"

And after that, Punk had crossed the line and Show had just about enough.

"…." he growled, turning red in the face.

Punk stopped chuckling and grew surprised, along with everyone else.

"Oh, dude, you are so dead." Jeff muttered to Punk.

Randy and Cena smiled and knuckle punched each other.

"Punk, I have HAD IT with your blatant disrespect! You've been running your mouth all day and I've been trying not to wring your scrawny little neck! But now, you've crossed the line. I'm getting rid of you." Show told him.

"Oh? And what are you gonna do?" Punk replied.

Then, Show lifted him up and carried him over his shoulder, took him towards the boat house, and threw him in a darkened room. "I said that I'd get rid of you. Good bye, Punk." he said, locking the door behind him.

Later, at around 4:20 am, the gang was back in the mess hall, eating another meal prepared by Big Show, which was simply a bowl of mush.

Maria sat by herself, poking her bowl while still thinking about Punk.

"Hi, Ria." Jeff said, joining her along with Kelly and Matt.

"Hi, Jeff." she smiled. "Hey, guys."

"Maria, are you really this upset about Punk?" asked Kelly. "By the way he's been acting, he's had it coming to him."

"I don't care! He's still my boyfriend and I'm worried about him. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go look for him." she replied.

"You sure that's a good idea?" asked Matt. "What if Big Show punishes you, too?"

"I'll take the risk." she replied, heading off before Show stopped her. "What did you do to my Punky?"

"He's in solitude. And you can't go and see him, either. So, don't try anything." he replied.

"Says you." she muttered.

Soon after that, Maria managed to sneak out and managed to find the boat house. "Punky?" she whispered. "It's me, Maria."

"_Maria? I'm so glad you're here. Is there any way you can come inside?_" he asked.

"I'll climb in from the window." she replied. After she climbed in-well, fell in, she found him hiding under a shelf.

"Aw, Ria, thanks for coming, babe." he said, hugging her.

"No problem. I'm just so fed up with everyone on your case and I just wanted to see you." she replied.

"I think they're all just jealous that they don't have an awesome girlfriend like you." he replied, combing through her hair.

"Aw, CM!" she replied before they kissed. "I want to be bad and dangerous like you. Please teach me! I want us to be partners in crime!"

"All right, if that's what you want. Now, if you want to take a serious risk, come with me to the café and let's take all the junk food that we see. That's where Big Show hides it all." he replied.

"Let's do it!" she smiled.

So after that, the two snuck over to the café, without anyone seeing them, and managed to find the secret cabinet where all the good food was hidden.

"See? Told ya." Punk whispered.

"Wow, this is a gold mine! You want the oreos or the cheese puffs?" whispered Maria.

"Let's take it all!" he replied. "Wait, shh."

Jericho and Big Show were also in the kitchen…

"Wow, so those worms are giving you a hard time, huh?" asked Jericho.

"Not all of them, but that Punk needs to be castrated!" Show replied while Punk gasped in shock.

"Castrated?" he mouthed quietly.

"I've never seen anyone run a mouth like he has! I don't know how you put up with it, Chris." Show continued as Punk pretended to shoot an arrow towards him and Maria held him down so that they wouldn't be caught.

"Aw, don't worry, Show, once you deal with those guys for as long as I have, you learn to ignore them." replied Chris.

"Forget them, CM, we got the goods, now let's just get outta here!" Maria whispered.

Soon after that, they managed to share their junk food with the other campers…

"I can't believe you guys actually did it!" exclaimed Hunter. "Whoa, Big Show was hiding these Ho-Hos in there and didn't tell me?"

"AND the twinkies!" agreed Shawn. "He's a bad, bad, man!"

"You sure he's not gonna happen to find his snacks missing and then track them down in here?" asked Mickie, eating an oreo.

"Nah!" replied Punk. "He needs to lay off the junk food, anyway, or else he'll explode."

"Well, if he does catch you guys, you better come up with a great excuse." replied Jeff.

"Enigma, no worries! I got Skittles!" exclaimed Maria.

"YES!" he cheered happily, munching them.

"I'm really glad that you're sharing these with us, but what about Michelle and John?" asked Kelly.

"I am no longer speaking to them, so they will get no part of this feast." replied Maria, eating about 5 different foods at once. "Whoa, I feel hyper! HEE HEE, I gotta go outside and run all this off!"

As she went outside, Punk followed her and caught her in his arms. "See, Ria, wasn't being a rebel awesome?" he asked. "It's great knowing that you can get anything you want."

"I know! Punk, you are incredible! I—I love you so much!" she replied, wrapping him in another intense kiss. He deepened the kiss and roamed his hands up and down her curves. "Ria—" he began.

"Punk, I want you." she replied. "Let's make love."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure! I'm a bad girl now, and I want to be your bad girl." she said in between kisses.

He smiled. "Ok. Let's go to my team's bunk room. There's nobody there." he replied as he led her away.

The campers had only about 2 hours of sleep, and at around 6:00 am, they met up with Big Show for their final challenge…

"Troops, FALL IN! Atten-hut!" he exclaimed.

Everyone followed directions.

"Ok, since Punk's been a huge pain in my ass lately, all I can remember is that Team Raw won the first challenge, so they're currently in the lead. So I'm making this last challenge a free for all. You all have to hang upside down from those trees for as long as you can. If you fall off, you're eliminated. Whoever's the last one hanging on, will win for your team. Now, GET GOING!" he shouted.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Matt. "Finally, something I'm used to doing!"

Everyone did what they were told, but Team Raw was surprised to find both Punk and Maria still missing.

"Melina, Cena, I'm proud of you two." Randy said, hanging upside down along with everyone else. "The plan worked, and Punk is out of our hair."

"I'm just so happy to see Maria so miserable." laughed Melina. "Speaking of who, where is she?"

They looked around.

"She's missing!" exclaimed John. "You know what, she probably went off to look for Punk!"

"You're right! She's gonna make our team lose! We gotta tell Big Show." agreed Randy.

"Tell Big Show what?" asked a voice.

"Maria?" asked the three.

"Hi!" she greeted.

"But how'd you get there? Didn't you go off to see Punk?" asked John.

"Well, I couldn't break Big Show's rules, so I had to stay here." she lied.

"But you weren't here just a minute ago! Where'd you come from?" demanded Melina.

"Uh, I don't know what you're talking about because I was here the whole time." she replied.

"Ok, maybe the blood's just getting to our heads." said Randy. "Maybe we're just dizzy and confused."

"I swear, I didn't do a thing." Maria said with a smirk.

Meanwhile…

"Ok, anyone else getting a headache here?" asked Michelle.

"Yeah—yep." replied everyone else.

"Not me." Matt replied, smiling.

"Dude, how can you stand this?" asked Triple H.

"Oh, believe me, he can." replied Jeff. "He's hung upside down from pretty much anything you could think of, ever since we were little."

"It's true." agreed Matt.

"That's good, mon—whoa!" Kofi exclaimed, falling off first.

"Haha. I'm gonna be the last one hanging on, even when you people least expect it." smirked Edge.

"Shut up, will you?" muttered Matt.

Then, Edge suddenly slipped off. "OY! That didn't happen." he called.

The gang laughed while Triple H replied, "Yeah it did! Uh oh—WHOA!" he fell off next, landing on Edge.

"Get…off…of…me." muttered Edge.

"Can't move. Deal with it." he replied.

Things weren't so good on Team Raw's side, either.

"Hey, Mickie, why are there four of you?" Shawn asked, dazed.

"What? Shawn, are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah…" he replied, falling off next.

"Shawn!" she cried, trying to reach him. Only, she reached too far and fell off. "OW!" she cried.

"Hey, I see six of you now! Hi, Mickie, Mickie, Mickie, Mickie, Mickie, and Mickie!" he exclaimed, dizzy.

She just sighed.

Next, Maria suddenly fell off.

"You're out next, Maria." said Big Show.

She laughed. "Aw, shut up, will ya?" she asked with a big smile.

Everyone gasped and then Cena, Randy, Melina, Michelle, Kelly, and Jeff all fell off.

Big Show stormed up to her. "WHAT did you just say to me?" he said quietly.

"I told you to shut up!" she giggled.

"She's doomed." Matt said, still hanging upside down.

"Do you want to join your little boyfriend in the boat house?" Show demanded.

Then, Punk came out laughing. "Great work, Ria." he said. "You really pissed him off! I taught you well!"

"I know." she smiled.

"All right, I've seen enough. Matt's still hanging on, so Team Smackdown wins and they pass Big Show's Boot Camp with flying colors." he announced.

"WHOO!" they cheered.

"And Team Raw, since you did such a HORRENDOUS job lately, you all get to meet Jericho at the Campfire of Truth tonight. Isn't that great?" he smiled.

"Joy." Shawn muttered.

While John was headed for the Campfire of Truth, Michelle caught up with him…

"Hey, sweetie!" she greeted. "I'm sorry that you have to go here again."

"You don't have to worry, babe. With all the crap that Punk and Maria pulled today, I can pretty much guarantee that one of them is leaving tonight." he replied.

"Good. It's just so sweet of you to defend me from them all the time." Michelle replied, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I know it's hard dealing with both of them."

"Aw, babe, it's my job to defend you. If anyone hurts you in any way, I'll give them the STFU, that's all. Then, they'll learn to shut up the hard way." he replied.

"Aw, Johnny!" she giggled, before they wrapped themselves in another kiss.

Later…

"Well, Team Raw, I heard that you guys gave Big Show a hard time today." said Jericho.

"Well, not ALL of us." Randy replied, glaring at Punk and Maria.

"Ok then. Let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave." he said.

-Hidden Camera-

Cena: "You know that I want Punk off."

Randy: "Today was a great day. I'll vote Punk off."

Punk: "All right, Cena. We've had a bad day, so I'll vote you off for all the crap that you've said about Maria and I."

Shawn: "Punk went WAY over the line earlier. I'll have to vote for him, I guess."

Mickie: "I can't believe Punk managed to turn sweet little Maria into…HIM! I'm totally voting for him."

Maria: "Melina really gets on my last nerve! I want her off!"

Melina: "Maria, you think you're so slick, don't you? Well, you won't be once you're out of here!"

-Back outside-

"Ok then, let's get to the results. When I call your name, come up and grab a smore. Randy…Mickie…Shawn…Melina…and Cena." said Jericho.

Maria and Punk looked shocked.

"No way!" he cried. "We can't be the bottom two!"

"Way." Jericho smiled. "CM Punk and Maria, one of you stays and one of you leaves. The person leaving tonight is…"

"This isn't happening." said Maria.

"…Punk." finished Jericho.

"NO!" she cried, grabbing his arm.

"Hell no! Those votes are rigged, they have to be!" Punk cried angrily. "How dare you people choose Fat Show over ME? I tried to talk some sense into you all but you refuse to listen!"

"Let's get him out of here." Big Show told Jericho.

As the two led him to the boat, he exclaimed, "You're making a BIG mistake by getting rid of me! I AM THE VOICE OF THE VOICELESS! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!"

Before the boat left, Maria ran up to him and kissed him. "You can't leave me, babe!" she said tearfully. "What about everything we've done together?"

The boat began sailing off.

"Maria, just remember everything I taught you, all right?" he called. "I love you so much!"

"I will! And I love you, too!" she called back, crying.

Then, she stormed up to John and Randy. "I hope you're happy. Looks like you got your wish!" she cried, running off in tears.

"Well, Cena, looks like our problems are solved." said Randy.

"So, are we back to being enemies?" he asked.

"Yeah. So move the hell outta my way, man, I gotta get some sleep!" he said rudely.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Cena snapped back. "I'll STFU your ass straight into the ground!"

Meanwhile, back outside, Matt was still hanging upside down from the same tree…

"Uh, ok, could someone get me down from here? I'm kinda stuck." he said.

"Hold on." said Jeff.

He and Kelly got him down, but Matt was still frozen.

"Are we gonna have to carry you all night?" asked Kelly.

"Well, all the blood rushed to my head and I still can't feel my legs, so…yeah." he replied.

"You're incredible, man." chuckled Jeff, carrying him off along with Kelly. "This is gonna be one long night."


	13. Episode 13

Total WWE Island: The X-treme Sports Festival!

Episode 13

"Hello, TV Land! This is the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, Chris Jericho here with yet another shocking week of TWI!

Last week, it was Chef Big Show who was in charge for the challenge which was…BOOT CAMP! Everyone had to do

what he said, or else there would be serious consequences. Apparently, that didn't bother Punk when he wouldn't

quit smart-mouthing him. The first challenge was to see which team would endure holding up a canoe for the

longest, while Big Show buried Punk in the ground like a sprout. Team Smackdown lost when Edge refused to help

out. The second challenge was a choreography contest, where Big Show led out teams in doing the Thriller dance!

But Punk, being the killjoy that he was, had to ruin the fun. After that, he was sent to a closet to be punished. Punk

refused to be silenced, though, and rejoined the gang when their next challenge was a grueling obstacle course,

which exhausted the hell out of our campers. Punk decided to open his mouth once again, but this time he sent the

Big Show over the limit, and Punk was forced to spend the night in the boat house. His loyal girlfriend Maria helped

him to break out, and the two later became rebels and raided Big Show's secret stash of food. The next day, the

teams had to hang upside down until they fell, but once Maria fell, she told the Big Man to shut up. Show ended

things once and for all by declaring Team Smackdown the winners, and at the Campfire of Truth, our resident rebel,

CM Punk was eliminated next. This week, how will Maria cope by being on her own? Will Cena and Michelle take the

advantage? And will Rated RKO find a comeback and continue being the dominant force they once were? Find out

next on Total…WWE…Island!

* * *

"I'm glad I got the feeling back in my legs from yesterday." said Matt.

"Yeah, but you could've set a world record if you hung upside down for at least another 4 days." replied Jeff.

"Sure, and then the birds would mistake me for a treehouse or something." he replied sarcastically.

Then, Mickie and Kelly joined them.

"Hey, ladies, what's up?" asked Jeff.

"Maria's totally depressed." replied Mickie.

"Why? What happened?" asked Matt.

"Well, turns out that Punk got the boot from Team Raw last night." replied Kelly.

"Ouch." replied Jeff. "Well, he did pull off a lot of crap yesterday, so I'm not even surprised."

"Yeah. Are Cena and Randy celebrating right now?" asked Matt.

"No, actually they decided to go back to being enemies." replied Mickie. "Now with those two at each other's throats, and Maria all depressed, and Melina doing who knows what, it's just Shawn and I and the team's in turmoil."

"I just wish that you were on our team." said Kelly. "We're all like a big family. Well, except for Edge."

"He's like some annoying fly that won't get lost." agreed Matt. "But other than him, we all get along pretty well."

"So lucky. Well, I better get back to my team's camp. God help me. Later!" she exclaimed, kissing Matt and going back.

Back at Team Raw's camp…

"Are you ever gonna stop whining?" Melina asked, annoyed.

"NO! Now that my Punky's gone, I'm all alone. I miss him!" Maria cried.

"Well, he practically got himself voted off with the attitude he pulled yesterday. And you didn't exactly help, either." she replied.

"Don't say that! Punky was only trying to defend himself. If anyone, I'd rather be voted off!" she continued crying.

Melina had a smile on her face. "That could be arranged." she said quietly.

Back at Team Smackdown's camp…

John sneaked up to Michelle and covered her eyes. "Guess who?" he asked with a smile.

She smiled back. "Is it my big, strong man, Cena?" she asked.

"Sure is!" he replied, kissing her. "What a great day this is!"

"Why?" she asked, still smiling.

"Well, Punk got eliminated last night." he replied.

She looked in surprise. "Get out!" she exclaimed. "How'd Maria take it? She's miserable, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. She's still crying her eyes out in her bunk room." replied John.

"Wow. Now maybe she'll think twice about showing off like she did with him." she replied. "So, are we gonna celebrate or something?"

"Yeah." he said, lifting her up and tossing her on the bed.

"AAH!" she screamed in surprise.

Then, as they began making out, Jericho's voice appeared on the loudspeaker:

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!"_

"Damn!" they both cried.

Soon, everyone met Jericho at the auditorium…

"Good morning my friends, and isn't it a lovely day?" he asked.

"I'm not your friend." Shawn muttered.

"What's so lovely about it?" Maria exclaimed, still upset.

"Ooh, touchy, touchy! Anyway, today's challenge is gonna be pretty damn exciting, you know why?" Chris asked excitedly.

"We get to feed you to the sharks?" HHH asked, just as excited.

"NO, you don't!" he smiled in reply. "Today's challenge is gonna be an extreme sports competition!"

"WHOO!" The Hardy Boyz cheered, high fiving one another.

"Yeah! Ok, there are three contests, the first one is an Extreme Sofa-Bed skydiving contest, the second is the Extreme Moose riding contest, and the last one is the Extreme Water Skiing contest…without any water to ski on." he added with a sly smile.

"Ok, here's a little question: HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITHOUT WATER?" demanded Randy.

"Oh, you'll see. Now, c'mon, you guys, and let's begin the first contest!" he announced.

Everyone followed him to the top of this super high cliff, where there was this huge sofa bed with a parachute attached to it.

"Ok, gang, this is the Extreme Sofa Bed skydiving contest, and here are the rules: One person from each team will ride this thing off of the cliff, and both people need to find a way to the ground safely without killing yourselves. There's only one parachute in there, and you may have to fight to get it. Whoever makes it to the ground safely wins! Who's representing who?" asked Chris.

"I'd like to take a shot at this one." said Randy. "It'll be fun."

"And I'll represent Smackdown." said Triple H. "It'll be fun kicking your ass off of the damn sofa!"

"Oh, really?" asked Randy.

"YEAH, really!" he replied.

"Ok, you guys, save the argument for the contest! Now get on and we'll begin!" exclaimed Jericho.

Soon enough, both guys got settled on the sofa, and Jericho was ready to shove them off of the cliff. "Ok, you know what to do. Ready, set, don't die!" he called, pushing the sofa off.

They flew down quickly and had to act fast. Triple H got a hold of the parachute first, but Randy caught him.

"Oh, no you don't!" Randy cried, fighting him.

"Ok, would you rather sit here and fight me, or let us fall to our deaths? Make a choice!" exclaimed HHH.

Randy thought for a second. "Ok, I've made my choice." he finally said.

Then to HHH's surprise, Randy shoved him off of the sofa.

"OH, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT…!" he exclaimed, quickly falling down.

Then, Randy grabbed the parachute, and safely landed down, joining everyone else.

"Hunter, you all right, man?" called Jeff.

He landed face first into the concrete. "Yeah, I'm fine. Except for the fact that every bone in my body's broken." he muttered.

"Randy, you jerk!" cried Kelly. "You could've killed him!"

"Hey, the rules say that whoever gets the parachute and makes it down safely wins! And I did." he replied. "Hunter just wasn't fast enough."

"If I wasn't crippled right now, I'd Pedigree your ass right into the ground." he replied, still in pain.

"Do you want one of us to take you back to camp?" asked Michelle.

"No thanks, I still want to stick around for the rest of the challenge. Jericho, you got an extra lawn chair somewhere?" he asked.

"This is my only one. Guess you're gonna have to deal with standing up. Sorry." he said, not really feeling sorry.

Then, Kofi shoved him out of his chair and handed it to Triple H. "Here you go, mon."

"Thanks!"

Jericho, now on the ground, looked angry. "Ok then. Since Randy made it down safely, Team Raw scores the first win!"

"WHOO!" they cheered.

Later…

"Ok, peeps, welcome to the Extreme Moose Riding contest. I guess you could say that this is similar to bull riding, but…with a moose!" announced Jericho.

"That doesn't sound too bad." said Mickie.

Then, he let out a huge, maniac moose that looked like he was ready to destroy anything and everything in its path!

"Oh, it's bad." replied Jericho. "You guys, meet the baddest, most dangerous moose in camp, Shredder!"

"Fitting name." Edge said, nervous.

"One person from each team will have to ride him, and basically, whoever stays on the longest is the winner! Any takers?" he asked.

"I'll accept." replied Shawn. "This can't be much different than Bull Riding."

"I'll go too, mon!" replied Kofi.

"All righty then! I just need a minute to set up and we'll be ready for more injuries! WHOO!" cheered Jericho.

"Hey girls, I just got the most beautiful love letter today!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Really?" asked Maria. "I got one, too!"

" 'You ask me to dance, although you know I hate to, but for you, I'll dance. You inspire me, I am now an optimist, I see more beauty. I wished on a star, that one day you would love me. My wish has come true.' " they both said dreamily. Then, they glared at one another.

"That's MY love letter! No, it's not!" they both argued.

"Catfight, anyone?" smiled Melina.

"Punky wrote this letter to me before he left!" exclaimed Maria.

"No, Jeff wrote it to me!" argued Kelly.

"CM had to have written it!" she replied. "I know he's not much of a poet, but I know that he wrote it to me before he was eliminated!"

"Well, if he isn't much of a poet, he wouldn't have written something so well! On the other hand, Jeff writes poetry all the time, and I know that he wrote it to me!" she argued back.

"Ok, girls, hold on." Mickie said, breaking them up. "First of all Maria, where did you find it at first?"

"I found it under my pillow. It was on Team Raw's property, so I have no idea how it could've gotten to Team Smackdown's side." she explained.

"Well, I don't know how you found it on your side because I found it in my closet!" argued Kelly.

"Well, girls, looks like we have a dilemma on our hands." concluded Michelle.

A little later, everyone got ready for the Moose Riding contest…

"Ok, Shawn, you ready?" asked Jericho.

"Let 'er rip!" he exclaimed, perched on top of the moose.

Jericho freed Shredder from his cage, and he went totally crazy, bucking all over the field!

"Ok, easy, boy, EASY!" Shawn cried, hanging on for dear life.

Shredder ran around in circles, trying to find a way to get Shawn off of his back.

"Don't kill me!" he cried. "Come on, I have a wife and kids, and I know that they don't want to see Daddy get mauled!"

Then, Shredder swung to the right so hard, that he sent Shawn flying into the woods.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH…!" he cried.

"Shawn!" cried everyone.

He staggered out of the woods with some twigs and leaves in his hair.

"You all right, man?" asked John.

"Uh huh." he smiled woozily, before falling down.

A few minutes later, he joined an injured Triple H on the sidelines, with a neck brace and a cast around his arm.

"What's up with you?" asked HHH.

"Oh, broken neck. You?" he asked.

"Fractured fibula, broken arm." he told HBK.

"What's a fibula?" asked Shawn.

"I got no damn clue but it hurts like hell." he replied.

"All right, Kofi. Shawn stayed on for 45 seconds. If you beat that, you win. Ready?" asked Jericho.

"I'm more than ready, mon!" he exclaimed.

"Ok, ready, set…GO!"

Once again, Shredder sped out of the gate, jumping around furiously, but Kofi was able to keep control.

"Come on, mon, challenge me!" he exclaimed.

Then, Shredder spun around in circles, but Kofi still didn't budge.

"Wow, he's beast!" exclaimed Matt.

"You've made it past 45 seconds, so Team Smackdown automatically wins!" called Jericho.

"WHOO!" they cheered.

"You can get off, now!" he called.

"I-I can't, mon!" exclaimed Kofi. "This moose is some kind of crazy!"

Then, Shredder knocked him off, sending him flying into Edge's arms.

"…This is awkward." Edge concluded, still holding him.

Later…

"Punk did not write you that letter!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Yes, he did!" argued Maria.

"I'll have to side with Kelly on this one." replied Michelle. "At least she isn't a jealous control freak like some people I know."

"Oh, who asked you?" Maria demanded. "I'm depressed enough as it is, I don't need to hear your trash!"

"Why hear it? That's what you are already." she smirked.

Then, Maria was about to attack her, when Mickie held her back. "Knock it off, girls, ok?"

"Maria, you were the one who started this fight." Michelle continued. "John and I did nothing to you guys and you decide to bag on us?"

"So?" she muttered.

"So, that doesn't make any sense! I don't understand why you were so jealous of us when you had Punk with you." she replied back.

"Maybe when you guys started dating, we didn't realize what we were missing out on." Maria said quickly. "I mean, Punk and I love each other, but he kinda had a crush on you and I kinda had a crush on John at the time, ok?"

"You did?" asked Cena, joining them.

"Yeah." she said quietly.

"Well, you knew that I had the biggest crush on you, so why didn't you say anything?" he asked.

"You looked like you were having so much fun with Michelle, so I didn't want to bother you guys." she replied.

"Listen, Maria. I really love Michelle with all my heart now, but I really want us to still be friends. Is that ok?" asked John.

"Totally ok." she smiled.

"Ok, peeps, get over here, the next contest is set up for you!" called Jericho. "All right, your third and final challenge is the Extreme Water Skiing contest! Here's the setup. Everyone who didn't compete yet will get their very own automatic water bike, which will ride itself, and each of you will ski through the dirt, sand, and mud through the forest. Also, along the path will be flags. Each of you will have to collect as many of your team's flags as you can, and hopefully you'll all survive to the end, where whoever team collects the most flags at the end will win the challenge! So far, both teams are tied, so this will determine the win! Man, isn't that cool?" he asked, smiling.

Shawn tried to throw a rock at him.

Jericho glared at him. "…So, let's get things on the road."

Soon enough, everyone was at the starting line all set up with their bikes and skis…

"Uh, why do we need to wear bathing suits if there's no water?" asked Matt.

"Oh, you'll see." replied Jericho. "Now, ready…set…GO!"

Everyone's bikes sped off.

Michelle was in the lead, and almost grabbed a blue flag when a bush whacked her in the face!

"OW!" she cried. "Damn you, nature!"

Maria snagged a red flag, but Melina sideswiped her and stole it from her.

"Hey!" cried Maria. "Why the hell did you do that, we're on the same team!"

Melina said nothing and laughed.

Edge saw the scene and called, "Nice one, Mel!"

She blew a kiss to him. "Thanks, it was nothing!" she called back.

Then in revenge, Maria caught up to her, snatched her flag back, and then went on to grab even more flags. "HA! Pbbt!" she giggled, blowing a raspberry towards her.

"What the-?" demanded a shocked Melina.

"I'll take care of her!" Edge cried, trying to catch up to Maria.

The Redhead was on a roll, but Edge sideswiped her again, causing her to drop all her flags.

"NO! Edge, you jerk!" she cried.

"HAHAHAHA! FEAR ME!" he yelled in triumph.

Meanwhile, Jeff, Kelly, and Matt flew by them and grabbed three times as many flags, more than anyone else on either team had.

"We're doing great, you guys!" called Jeff. "Let's win another one!"

"This is so much fun!" exclaimed Kelly.

Then, they all skidded past a puddle of mud, which splattered all over them.

"Except for that." finished Matt.

Cena and Mickie were neck and neck, but who would gain the lead?

"Hi, John. Bye, John!" she said quickly, jumping over this huge boulder. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"…Hi, Mickie." he said, stunned. Next, he turned a twisted path and skidded right through some sand.

"Hey, babe!" called a voice.

He turned around to find Michelle waving towards him.

"What's up, sweetie?" he called, blowing a kiss to her.

After that, they both sailed right in the path of a huge dirt mountain.

"Oh, this isn't good." Michelle said meekly.

They both screamed as they went right through the mountain, making them dirty at the same time.

"Aw, this is just wrong!" cried Cena.

"Wow, I'm glad that I don't have to be in this race." said Randy. "I'm too handsome to get dirty."

"Oh, like you're not dirty enough?" asked Triple H.

"What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"You lie, you cheat, you're a cold hearted pig!" he replied.

"Wha—a PIG? And this is coming from the guy who won't say 'no' to a Hungry Man dinner!" Randy snapped back.

"HEY! I am a hungry man, so it's only appropriate!" HHH snapped back.

"That's true, mon." agreed Kofi.

"AGH!" cried Shawn. "Neck cramp!"

"Hey, I'll fix that for you." Randy smiled evilly, approaching him.

"You think that I'm gonna trust YOU with my neck?" he asked. "Hey, turn around."

"Why?" he asked.

"Just do it."

He slowly turned around. "What are you up to, Michaels?" he demanded.

"Ok, you can turn around now." he replied.

When he turned around, Shawn performed Sweet Chin Music to Randy, knocking him out cold.

"I never said that my leg was cramped." Shawn said with a smile.

Back in the race, everyone was nearing the finish line, but a shock would happen before that…

John and Michelle were still riding alongside each other, when Edge sped by them.

"Hey, lovebirds! Nice look!" he cried, pointing at the dirt on themselves.

"Oh, shut up!" called Cena. "We look better than your face!"

"Ooh!" laughed Michelle. "Burn."

"Ok, ok. Well, we'll see when I cross the finish line before either of you do." he called back.

Then, Melina came ahead and found that John had way more flags than she did.

"Hey Cena, mind handing me some of those flags?" she asked.

"Melina, find your own!" he called back.

She got mad. "Did I stutter? I told you to hand me some flags!" she cried.

"He said no, all right?" asked Michelle.

"Get back with your own team, princess! I'm talking to John!" she snapped.

"Uh, I don't think so!" she exclaimed back. "I think YOU better get lost."

She got angrier. "John, are you gonna let her talk to me like that?" Melina demanded.

"Yes, I will." he smiled.

"That does it." she said, reaching over him to grab his flags.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cena demanded, trying to break away from her.

Then, little did she know, a tree branch caught onto her bikini top and ripped it right off!

Michelle gasped in shock.

Cena just stared wide eyed at the sight in front of him.

Melina didn't care and managed to steal his flags.

Matt, Jeff, and Kelly went by and saw the scene. Kelly just looked in surprise, while Matt and Jeff were distracted and nearly crashed into a tree.

Mickie and Maria went by and saw the scene, too.

"Oh, my God! What is wrong with her?" asked Mickie.

"I don't know." Maria cried. "She should at least cover herself up, my goodness."

Back on the sidelines, all the guys stared in awe.

"I really shouldn't be seeing this." Shawn said, covering his eyes.

"Yeah." agreed Triple H. "I hope Stephanie isn't watching this right now."

Jericho and Randy were smiling. "BOOBIES!" they cried, high fiving.

As Melina went on with John's flags, he didn't pay attention to where he was going and crashed right into an outhouse!

"John!" called Michelle. "Are you ok?"

He weakly came out. "…Boobies." he uttered.

Meanwhile, Edge saw that the Hardys and Kelly had a ton of flags and he was getting jealous. He tried to sideswipe them, but nearly crashed into the forest while they managed to cross the finish line!

"Aw, crapola." muttered Edge. "This just isn't a good day for me."

Soon after that, everyone else crossed the finish line, while Michelle and John came in last.

"Uh, well, that was revealing." announced Jericho. "Melina, everything ok now?"

She smiled, looking at all her flags. "Sure, whatever." she replied, managing to get her top back on again.

"Ok, Team Raw, let's see how many flags you managed to get." he announced. "1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11..12..13..14 flags for Team Raw! All right, your turn, Smackdown."

Everyone except for Edge handed in their flags.

"Everyone else was being so selfish!" he cried as his team glared at him.

"Ok then. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11..12..13..14..15..16..17..18..19..20…"

10 minutes later…

"…45..46..47..48..49..50." he finished tiredly.

"Ok, we get it!" cried Mickie. "We lost again."

"Oh, yeah. So Team Raw, you'll be meeting me at the Campfire of Truth later tonight!" Jericho exclaimed with a smile.

"Hot damn!" cheered Jeff.

Team Raw glared at him again.  
"What, are you all gonna stare at me like that every time?" he demanded. "Get used to it!"

Later…

"Ok, I say that we figure out who wrote one of us that love letter." said Maria. "I know that it was my Punky!"

"For the last time, Jeff wrote it to me!" exclaimed Kelly.

Randy came up behind them. "Wait, what love letter?" he asked.

"The one that goes, 'You ask me to dance, although you know I hate to', that one." said Maria.

"I wrote that love letter!" he exclaimed.

"YOU?" they cried, shocked.

"Yeah, I wrote it for Melina." he continued.

Melina looked at him. "You did?" she smiled.

"You did?" asked the girls.

"You DID?" Edge asked, starting to get angry.

"Yeah! Melina, you're amazing, and I'm so glad that you're a member of Rated RKO." Randy said sincerely. Then to Edge's shock, he kissed her, too.

"She's a part of Rated RKO?" cried Maria.

"I-I just thought that she was only friends with them!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Randy, why are you kissing my woman?" Edge asked, strangely calm.

"Your woman? She's MY woman! With great 'jugs', I should say." Randy winked towards her.

Meanwhile…

"John, how could you lose the game like that?" cried Shawn. "I know that was distracting, but you could've kept going on."

"I'm sorry! But that was just so..so…WOW." he replied.

"You know you caused the team our third loss in a row, right?" asked Mickie.

He sighed. "I know."

A few minutes later, Team Smackdown decided to come to the Campfire of Truth to see which member of Team Raw would go home…

"Ok, thanks for joining us, Team Smackdown." said Jericho. "So, today was a…wild day, so let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to go home."

-Hidden Camera-

John: "I know I made a huge mistake, but if they vote me off, I won't be able to see Michelle anymore. I'll vote Melina off for distracting me."

Randy: "Cena saw my girlfriend's jugs! I gotta vote for him." _Edge: "YOUR girlfriend?"_

Shawn: "Sorry, Cena, but you gotta get over distractions, especially uh, C-sized distractions."

Mickie: "John, you've been a great team member, but this is our third loss in a row!"

Maria: "I'm really glad that we're still friends after all, John. I don't want you to go, so I'll vote off that TRAMP, Melina."

Melina: "Cena stared a little too hard at my womanly charms. I'll have to vote for him."

-Back outside-

"Ok, when I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Shawn…Mickie…Maria…and Randy."

John looked nervous, and so did Melina. Randy had a serious look on his face, Edge looked pissed towards Randy, and Michelle and Maria looked worried.

"Ok, John and Melina, one of you stays, and one of you goes home tonight. And the person leaving is…"

Everyone was dead silent.

"John." finished Jericho.

"No!" cried Michelle. "NO!"

Shawn shook his hand. "You did one hell of a job around here." he said.

Mickie gave him a hug. "I'll miss you, hun." she said sincerely.

Maria was the next to give him a hug. "Aw, John, you can't go!" she exclaimed.

"I have to, I'm sorry." he replied. "I'll miss you, Maria."

"I'll miss you, too. I'm just glad that we're on the right page again." she smiled.

After members from Team Smackdown said their goodbyes, he caught up with Michelle.

"John, you can't leave me! What about all we had?" she said, crying.

"I want you to take all of that to heart. And I'll never leave you, Michelle. I might not be here physically, but remember that I'm always with you." he replied. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." she replied. "You're all that I have left. Now what am I gonna do without you?"

"Stay strong like you've always been. Just promise me one thing." he said, getting in the yacht.

"What's that?"

"You'll stay here and win for me. I know you can do it." he replied.

She smiled. "Thanks. I will."

Then, they kissed one last time. "Goodbye, Michelle. Hopefully, the next time I see you, you'll be in the finals!" he smiled.

She chuckled. "Goodbye, John." she replied tearfully.

As the boat sailed off, Michelle broke down in tears. Her friends came to calm her down, while Maria felt bad for her, even though they still weren't speaking.

"You'll see him again." said Kelly.

"Yeah, we're all here for you, Michelle." agreed Matt.

"Thanks, you guys. Don't worry about me, I'll be ok. It'll just take me some time." she replied, watching the yacht sail away.


	14. Episode 14

Total WWE Island: Pick Your Poison

Episode 14

"What's up, universe! This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho with another insane week of TWI!

Last week's challenge was an extreme sports fest where both teams had to go through bone breaking, dangerous

stunts! The first contest was a Sofa Bed Skydiving contest, where Randy ended up getting the victory, and Triple H

ended up crippled! Ouch! Meanwhile, Maria, still upset over CM Punk's elimination, finds none other than a love letter

written by a mystery admirer. The crazy thing was, Kelly happened to find the exact same letter, but they argued

that their respective crushes, Punk and Jeff, wrote it to one of them! The second challenge was an extreme moose

riding contest, where Shawn got tossed in the wrong neck of the woods, and scoring Kofi the next win! The third

and final contest was an Extreme Water Skiing contest, but the only catch was that there wasn't any water to ski

on. Giggle. Everyone either got a bushwhack to the face, a muddy trip, a bathing suit full of sand, or just a dirty face.

Edge and Melina desperately tried to sabotage everyone else to get their own flags, but when Melina caught up

with Cena, a tree branch caught onto her top and…let's just say, let the BOOBIES hit the floor! That distraction cost

Team Raw the challenge, and another trip to the Campfire of Truth. Meanwhile, Randy overheard Kelly and Maria still

arguing over the mystery love letter, when it was revealed that he wrote it to Melina! Everyone was shocked, and

Edge looked betrayed! At the Campfire of Truth, John was sent home, and Michelle was devastated to see her true

love go. This week, will there be trouble ahead for Rated RKO? Will Maria ever have a change of heart for Michelle?

And will Jeff and Kelly finally become more than just friends? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Back at Team Smackdown's camp, Kelly Kelly woke up to find a rose on her pillow…

"Aw! How sweet!" she exclaimed. Then, she found a note underneath it. _"Hey, beautiful! We've talked about our date and where it should be, so how about we make it come true right now? You know where to find me. See you there. :) '"_ it said.

She blushed and smiled. "This is gonna be a wonderful day!" she exclaimed, leaping out of bed to get ready.

Then, she caught Michelle outside, chatting on her cell phone.

"Oh, I miss you too, John." she said. "Yeah, I know…Yeah?...Aw, babe!...ok then…love you, too..bye bye."

"Oh, so you do still have a way to talk to him!" Kelly said, smiling.

"I sure do! I'm so glad that cell phones were invented!" Michelle replied.

"So, you're feeling better today?" she asked.

"Yep. As long as I hear his voice every day, I know that everything's fine. You seem excited. What's going on?" she asked her friend.

"Well, I'm just about to get ready for my date with Jeff!" she exclaimed happily.

"Awesome! Hey, I've never heard of anyone going on a date at 8:00 in the morning." said Michelle.

"Well, we thought that we'd go kinda early since everyone else is still asleep. Then, we'd have no interruptions." she smiled.

"And more time for making out." she finished. "Am I right?"

"Totally! I can't wait! See you later, Michelle!" she called.

"See ya! You two have a great time!" she called back.

Meanwhile, an angry Edge stopped by Team Raw's camp to deal with Randy and Melina…

Edge bursted in and slammed the door.

"Hey, man." greeted Randy.

"HEY, MAN?" demanded Edge.

"Hey…man?" he asked, confused.

"Don't give me that tone!" he cried.

"Ok, what the hell's with you?" asked Randy.

"You know damn well what the hell's with me! You stole Melina from me!" he exclaimed.

"Ok, I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me. I guess you never worked out for her." he replied.

"Melina, you kissed me, like, 5 times ever since we started going out!" exclaimed Edge.

"I don't know what you're talking about." she replied.

"But—I—you—UGH!" he cried, storming out of the room.

"He's really got to get over it." Randy said.

"He does, I know. Hey, I'll be right back. I need to go freshen up." she said, kissing him before she left.

Randy sighed happily. "Wow, what a woman."

Back outside, Melina caught up with Edge, and she whipped him around and wrapped him in a kiss.

"Whoa. What was that for?" he asked.

"Listen. I'm only with Randy because I feel bad for him." she said.

"Why?"

"Because! I'm dating you instead of him, aren't I?" she asked with a smile.

Edge smiled. "Oh, yes you are." he replied, making out with her.

Meanwhile, Kelly met up with Jeff at the deserted area where boot camp was the other day…

"Jeff? You here?" she called.

Then, two hands covered her eyes from behind. "Where else would I be?" he asked, smiling.

"Hey!" she smiled, hugging him while he wrapped his arms around her.

"Glad you made it! Wow, you look amazing." he said, gazing at her.

She wore pink lipstick, a glittery skull top, a pink miniskirt with a studded belt, knee high boots, and fishnet gloves.

"Aw, thanks!" she blushed. "You always look amazing to me."

He blushed back. "Aw, I try." he replied. "So, what do you want to do first?"

"How about you try and catch me?" she asked, smiling.

"Oh, that'll be easy."

"Yeah? Then catch me if you can!" she exclaimed, speeding off towards the forest while Jeff sped after her.

"Hey, you have no idea how quick I can be!" he replied. She didn't get too far when he caught her in his arms.

"AH!" she laughed as he spun her around in circles.

"Told ya." he said.

"Ok, I believe you. You know, it's so nice being in your arms like this." she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Well it's so nice to hold you. And it's nice looking in your beautiful blue eyes, at your cute little nose, and just the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen in my life." he said sincerely.

"You really mean that, Jeff?" she asked with hope in her eyes.

"Sure do."

"You know, right now, I could never wish for a greater friend than you. It's like you know me better than anyone else. It's like we were meant for each other. Every time I look in your gorgeous green eyes, I see a part of me at the same time." Kelly replied.

"I feel the same way when I look into your eyes." Jeff agreed. "I think we are meant for each other."

Then, they both leaned in to share a passionate—

"Hey, guys!" Maria exclaimed, barging in.

"WHAT?" Kelly exclaimed angrily.

"Look! I just left this piece of bread out in the sun, and it toasted itself!" she exclaimed happily.

Kelly was pissed, stormed up to her, took her bread, and threw it somewhere in the woods.

"Thanks. Thanks for ruining everything!" she exclaimed, storming off.

Jeff sighed, putting a hand on Maria's shoulder. "I love you like a sister, Ria, but couldn't that wait until maybe, 2 hours later?" he said, before following Kelly. "Kel, wait! Kelly!"

She looked stunned. "I thought it was exciting news." she told herself.

"_Attention campers, please meet me in the CAFETERIA, yes, I said cafeteria, for your next challenge!" _announced Jericho.

Soon, everyone met him in the cafeteria…

"Ok, you guys, I bet you're wondering why we're all meeting here today." said Jericho.

"We get to cook poisonous foods and feed them to you?" Shawn asked happily.

"No." he said, glaring at him. "I hope you all have a huge appetite because today's challenge is gonna be a delicious one. Chef Big Show will prepare various concoctions, such as Bull testicles, live anchovy pizza, hangnail soup, cockroach juice, and so much more!"

Everyone was dead silent.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" demanded Randy.

"You seriously expect us to eat that?" asked Triple H.

"Yes, I do. But I have even more news. This week, nobody gets eliminated!" he exclaimed.

"WHOO!" everyone cheered happily.

"And the winners of this challenge get a 2 day spa resort to Pampering Springs!" he continued.

"WHOO!" they cheered.

"And there's even MORE news!" Jericho cried, jumping up and down.

"What is it?" Shawn cried, just as excited.

"This contest will be a battle of the Sexes!" he exclaimed.

Everyone became silent again.

"You mean, we won't be on the same teams anymore?" asked Kelly.

"Yep. Now even though there are 5 girls and 7 boys, it's still a battle of the sexes. All of the girls will move to Team Smackdown's campsite, while the guys will move to Team Raw's. Simple, right?" asked Jericho.

"Jeff, we won't be able to see each other as much anymore!" Kelly cried. "Isn't there something we can do?"

"I'll tell you this. No matter what rules Jericho gives us, I'm still gonna find a way to see you. Nobody can separate us." he said seriously.

"Ok, that's what's up, and now I say we get this challenge started! Girls, go to one table, and guys, go to another. Let the fun begin!" Jericho exclaimed.

After that, everyone did what they were told…

"Kelly, Michelle, yay, we're all together!" exclaimed Mickie, hugging them.

"The three amigas!" agreed Michelle.

"What about me?" asked Maria.

Kelly glared at her while Michelle looked the other way.

"Kel, are you still mad at me from earlier? Come on, it wasn't such a big deal." she said.

She looked shocked. "Not a big deal? Jeff and I were totally in the moment! We were about to share the kiss of our lives, and you barged in because of some stupid toast?" she demanded.

"Sorry, ok?" she asked.

"Now you see why her and I aren't speaking anymore." Michelle told Kelly.

"Girls, don't shun me, ok? It's bad enough that Melina's on our team, so…yeah." said Maria.

Kelly and Michelle just looked the other way.

Back at the guys' table…

"Jeff, you ok?" asked Matt.

"Nope. First, Kelly and I had, well, tried to have an awesome date, and right when we were about to kiss, Maria barges in because of some toast! And now with all these new rules, we're not even in the same campsite anymore!" he exclaimed. "Could things get any worse?"

Then Big Show placed a plate of Bull testicles on their table. "Enjoy." he said with a smile.

"It just did." finished Matt. "Anyway, I'm sorry your date got ruined, man. I guess you can't get any alone time anywhere."

"Ain't that the truth." agreed Jeff.

"Ok, you guys. You each need to down these bull testicles, and whichever team finishes them all first, wins!" announced Jericho. "Ready…set…GO!"

Melina was the first to grab one, and ate it quickly.

"How can you eat that with no problem?" Mickie asked, making a face.

"These taste like crap, but I want to win that spa! Now, eat, girls!" she cried.

"Uh, I can't do this!" squirmed Michelle.

"You better!" cried Melina. "Now eat!"

"No!" she replied.

"Eat it!"

"Ignore her, Michelle." said Kelly. "Just pretend they're mini sausages, ok?"

"I-I guess I can do that." she replied.

Meanwhile, the guys were having a horrible time.

"I can't do this, mon!" exclaimed Kofi.

"I-I know!" agreed Triple H. "Those poor bulls. If we eat these, it'd be like eating our own."

"You guys are being wimps! You want that spa, don't you?" demanded Randy.

"Not if it comes down to this." replied Matt.

"Hey, if you think you're so brilliant, Randy, you eat one first!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Yeah!" agreed the guys.

"Fine, I will!" he replied.

He was about to eat one, but then just stared at it.

"What's wrong, Rand? Aren't you man enough?" taunted Edge.

Then, the stress was too much for Randy and he tipped back in his chair, unconscious.

"Haha." Shawn laughed at him.

"Come on, you guys, you got 2 minutes left and the girls are beating you by a mile!" exclaimed Jericho.

Everyone just stared at the plate.

"You know what, screw this!" exclaimed Jeff. "No one's going home this week, so what does it matter?"

"TIME'S UP!" yelled Chris. "Well, this is pretty obvious, but the girls win!"

"Yay." they cheered weakly, even though they looked like they were about to hurl.

"All right, our next course is gonna be…Dolphin Dogs!" announced Jericho.

"This can't be any good." muttered Randy.

"These are hot dogs made from dolphins!" he continued. "Same rules apply, whoever team finishes them all first wins!"

"WHAT? I love dolphins! I swam with them! I'm not gonna eat them!" exclaimed Michelle, crossing her arms. "I REFUSE!"

"Oh, are you gonna be a crybaby the whole time?" demanded Melina.

"Shut up!" snapped Michelle.

"You don't have to do this if it bothers you." replied Kelly. "Besides, it doesn't matter if we lose or not. It's just a spa."

"Are you two serious?" demanded Melina. "Mickie, you want the spa, right?"

"Uh, well…" she began.

"No, don't listen to her." replied Kelly. "It's just a spa, not big of a deal."

"She doesn't know what she's talking about! Choose the spa!" exclaimed Melina.

"It's not worth it, Mickie!" argued Michelle. "Choose the right one."

"Uh..uh…" she stuttered.

"TIME'S UP!" cried Jericho.

The guys cheered.

"Well, the guys swept up this one." he concluded.

"Well, Michelle, how's it feel to cost us the win?" asked Melina.

"This isn't my fault! You were the one who started this!" she argued.

"ME? You had to start whining like you always do! I'm just trying to wake this team up so that we can actually win!" she argued back.

"Ok ladies, save the catfight for later." said Jericho. "Next up, get ready to down some live anchovy pizza!"

Big Show put a pizza on each team's table. "They're so delectable, aren't they? Eat up!" he exclaimed with a sick smile.

"Ugh. Just look at those things flopping around on there." complained Matt. "You guys think we can handle this one?"

"I don't know, mon." replied Kofi. "Maybe we can get rid of the anchovies while Jericho's not looking!"

"Good plan!" exclaimed Shawn.

Then, as they started doing that, Jericho approached them from behind. "Uh-uh-uh. If you do that, you lose. So you gotta eat those tasty critters in order to win." he said, smiling.

"Damn him." muttered Triple H.

Meanwhile, the girls were having a hard time, too…

"Can you eat THIS, Michelle? Huh?" Melina teased.

"Oh, shut it! I guess compared to the last two things, this isn't as bad." she replied.

Then, an anchovy leapt up from the pizza and slapped her!

"Oh, I was way wrong." she finished.

"Michelle, you can pretend that the anchovies aren't there and just focus on the pizza itself." Maria said shyly.

"Ok. Thanks." she replied with a small smile.

"Hey, this stuff isn't half bad!" exclaimed Mickie.

The girls looked at her in surprise.

"Seriously?" asked Kelly.

"Yeah, if you down this stuff really fast, it's pretty good!" she replied.

The girls looked at her and then followed her example.

"Hey, she's right!" exclaimed Michelle. "This is pretty nice!"

As the girls munched along, the guys were only half done.

"Ok, I don't know how the girls are doing this so well and we can't." said Edge.

"Maybe we can bury the anchovies under the cheese or something." said Jeff. "That way, we wouldn't have to worry about em as much and we could still win."

"Genius!" exclaimed Randy. "Let's go with that!"

"You agreed with me?" he asked. "We're enemies, remember?"

"Yeah, but I'll reason with anyone right now as long as we win that spa!" Randy replied.

As the guys followed Jeff's plan, time was almost up.

"Ok, you guys, 30 seconds!" called Jericho.

Both teams were almost done.

"And…TIME!"

He looked at the girls' table, seeing that there was still one slice left, and when he looked at the guys' table, their plate was clean.

"Well, it was a close race, but the guys win this one!" he announced.

"YEAH!" they cheered.

The girls looked disappointed.

"Damn it!" cried Melina. "Their little winning streak needs to end!"

"Ok gang, your next course is none other than soup! But not your ordinary chicken noodle soup, this is…hangnail soup!" Jericho said happily.

"Good God." muttered Shawn. "You're sick in the head, you know that?"

"I know. Now, let the games begin!" he exclaimed.

"Ok, girls, we absolutely need to win this one!" demanded Melina. "We lost two contests already, so we need to step up our game!"

"Thanks, mother." muttered Maria.

The girls laughed.

"This isn't funny, Maria! We ARE going to win that spa trip, and I'm not gonna let you ruin this for me!" she snapped.

"Who said that this was for you? There are other people on this team, you know." argued Kelly.

"So, you want to start with me, too?" she asked back.

"I'm not starting anything, I'm just wondering why you're so selfish!" she exclaimed.

"SELFISH—Yeah, selfish!" they began arguing again.

"GIRLS!" cried Mickie. Then, she shoved both of the soup bowls in their mouths. "Just slurp."

After they did what they were told…

"UGH!" cried Michelle. "Is this a green nail?"

"Oh, God, toss that somewhere!" exclaimed Maria.

Meanwhile, the guys were having trouble…

Triple H tried to drink, but the hangnails weren't helping. "God, you could choke off of these things!" he exclaimed, making a face.

"Yeah, seriously." agreed Matt. "Hey, you got any more strategies that we could use for this one?" he asked Jeff.

"Uh, I don't know any for this one. We're just gonna have to tough it out." he replied.

"And…TIME!" called Jericho.

"WHAT?" they exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah, seems like the girls just owned you right about now." he replied.

Then, Randy began choking.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" demanded Edge.

"Hangnail…in my…throat." he uttered weakly.

Then, Kofi slapped the back of his head and the hangnail flew out!

"I SURVIVED!" Randy cheered.

"Oh, shut up." muttered Jeff.

As the day went on, Jericho and Big Show plotted up some bunion pie, cow turd frappe, worm mud cakes, and some urine dipped chicken nuggets. But how would everyone hold up for the last contest?

"Congrats for making it to the last contest, peoples!" announced Jericho.

Everyone was either about to heave, exhausted, or just nauseous.

"So both teams are tied right now, and this one's gonna be a doozy! We only need one person from each team for this one. The last contest is gonna be a blended cockroach drinking match! There will be 24 shots of the stuff here, and whoever drinks the most will be declared the winner! So, who thinks that they're brave enough to step up?" he asked.

"I ain't doing that." announced Edge.

"I'll do it." Matt volunteered.

"You sure about this, man?" asked Jeff. "You can take 24 shots of those?"

"I can take in anything! Remember when I was about 7 and I had that ostrich egg?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah." he interrupted. "I didn't want to remember that."

Meanwhile, none of the girls wanted any part of this challenge.

"Uh, I'll do it, I guess." volunteered Mickie.

"But you're afraid of roaches!" exclaimed Kelly. "You really want to do this?"

"Sure. If you've stuck your head in a bucket with them, you'd get used to them." she replied.

"All righty then, so it's Matt vs. Mickie, boyfriend vs. girlfriend. This I gotta see." announced Jericho.

Both of them got ready.

"You want to go through with this?" asked Matt. "I thought you were afraid of roaches."

"I think you're just afraid to go against your girlfriend, right?" Mickie asked with a smirk.

"Of course not!" he exclaimed, giving her a kiss. "Good luck."

"Right back at ya." she replied.

"Ok, ready, set…GO!" cried Jericho.

As their teams cheered for them, they both downed each shot pretty quickly, grabbing one after another.

"Give up yet?" asked Mickie.

"I'm just warming up!" replied Matt.

They kept downing more and more drinks, but a few minutes afterwards, they were getting weaker.

"How…about now?" Mickie asked weakly, slowly downing another drink.

"Never!" Matt replied, downing another one.

As both teams kept cheering on, there were only about three shots left. Mickie and Matt each took one, downed it, but when it came to the last shot, Mickie weakly reached for it, but Matt grabbed it first and finished!

"And it's official, the guys win today's challenge, and the spa trip!" announced Jericho.

"YEAH!" they cheered.

"It's ok, Mickie." said Melina. "You did one hell of a job."

Before she could reply, she turned green and…

"BLLLLLLEEEEEEHHHHHH!"

The mess was all over the table, and there was even a living roach still wigging around!

"Oh, no." Matt said, throwing up next.

After that, everyone began to get sick and followed their examples. (You get the picture).

Seeing everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off, Big Show said, "Now this is a little too much to handle."

Then, he threw up right in front of Jericho.

He made a face. "Now, this is unfair." he announced before covering the camera and throwing up next.

Later that afternoon, after everyone cleaned up, the guys packed up for their 2 day trip to Pampering Springs and said their goodbyes to the girls…

"Well, looks like the better man won." Melina told Edge.

"Yeah, I know. I'm awesome, aren't I?" he asked with a smirk.

She kissed him. "Damn right." she agreed.

As Edge was out of sight, she caught up with Randy. "Well, looks like the better man won." she repeated.

"Hey, I try." he smiled. "See you when I see you, babe."

She kissed him next. "Of course you will!" she exclaimed.

"What a slut." Maria said, shaking her head.

"Have to agree on that." replied Michelle.

"So, you feeling better, babe?" Mickie asked Matt.

"A lot. Actually, I should be asking you that. I mean, it was pretty violent back there!" he exclaimed.

"Is this violent?" she asked, passionately kissing him.

"Whoa." he blushed. "Yeah, more violent than I could imagine."

"See you in 2 days, sweetie. I'll be waiting." she replied.

"I just wish I could bring you with me, Kel." said Jeff. "It'd be way more fun."

"I know! If Jericho didn't screw up the rules, and Team Smackdown had won, that'd come true!" agreed Kelly.

"Totally. These 2 days are gonna be the longest in my life. I'll miss you, Kelly." he said sincerely.

She gave him a hug. "I'll miss you too, Jeff. I just want you to have a good time, ok?"

"Believe me, I won't." he chuckled.

"Yes, you will!" she replied.

"I won't!" he called back as he went on the boat.

Soon after that, everyone waved goodbye as the boat sailed away, and now the girls had to settle in their own cabin together…

"Ok, here's the deal." said Melina. "I get my own side of the room, and the rest of you can stay on the other side. Got it?"

"Fine! I don't need any she-devil telling me what I already know." Michelle scoffed.

"SHE-DEVIL?" Melina cried.

"You both are being she-devils!" exclaimed Maria. "Can you please stop fighting?"

They both glared at her. "NO!"

As the three kept arguing loudly, an exasperated Mickie flopped on her bed, covering her head with a pillow to block out the noise.

Meanwhile, Kelly was staring out of the window, thinking about Jeff.

"_Jeff, how am I gonna make it without you?"_ she thought.

Back on the yacht, the guys were partying, but Jeff stared out of the window, thinking about Kelly.

"_Kel, what am I gonna do? There's just no way I'm gonna have fun on this trip without you." _he thought.


	15. Episode 15

Total WWE Island – Push it to The Limit

Episode 15

"Hey, my friends! This is Y2J, Chris Jericho here with another unpredictable week of TWI right ahead of us. Last week

was a time of major uh oh's and OMG's! First thing, nobody got eliminated, and the teams were shaken up a bit. To

make the challenge interesting, the teams were split up into the girls vs. the guys in a battle of the sexes! Speaking

of which, the challenge was an all out pig out of all the grossest foods that Chef Big Show and I could possibly think

of! The girls dominated the guys with the bull testicles challenge, while Melina was getting on everybody's last

nerve, and Kelly was pissed with Maria for interrupting hers and Jeff's almost make out session! The guys beat the

girls in both the dolphin dog and anchovy pizza contests, with Randy and Edge still heated over custody of Melina.

The girls got their comeback when they owned the guys in the hangnail soup contest, and after some more grueling

concoctions, it was time for the final contest, which was a cockroach drinking match between boyfriend/girlfriend

couple, Matt and Mickie. They both gave it their all, but Matt emerged victorious! And after that, well, seemed like Big

Show's cooking got to all of them, and it was quite a disaster area. Later, the guys sailed off on their two day trip to

Pampering Springs Spa, while Michelle, Maria, and Melina were left bickering, Mickie was left annoyed, and Kelly was

left without Jeff. This week, will things between Melina and Rated RKO heat up? Two contestants return, but who?

And who will get the boot next? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

The guys' yacht sailed back from Pampering Springs, and the guys returned, still excited and in party mode…

"Was that awesome or what?" asked Triple H.

"Especially that strip bar!" agreed Randy.

Then, the girls joined them.

"WHAT strip bar?" asked Melina.

"Uh, the one that I was told not to go to because I already have a girl back at camp that'll kill me if I did go to one." he said quickly.

"Uh, dude? For the last time, she's MY girl!" exclaimed Edge.

"Dude, knock off the jealousy act, all right?" asked Randy. "She's MY girl!"

Then, an angry Edge slapped him across the face.

Randy looked stunned, and swung a punch across Edge's face.

He growled, looked towards Randy, and then tackled him to the ground and began beating the living hell out of him.

"YOU SON OF A—" Randy cried, fighting back.

"Oh, boys, stop! You're making me blush!" Melina giggled as the two began fighting and rolling down a hill.

"I really don't think you're worth fighting over." Michelle told her, crossing her arms.

"Oh, who asked you?" she snapped back.

Then…

*RING RING*

"Oh, that's my cell. Hello?" asked Michelle. "Oh, John, hey, sweetie!...I'm just fine now that I can hear your voice again!...aw, stop, hehe!...really?...really?..." she trailed off, going somewhere else.

"Hey, Matty!" Mickie exclaimed, kissing him. "So, how'd the trip go? Did you get pampered enough?"

"Sure did! I gotta tell you, those beautiful girls over there go above and beyond with their massages!" he exclaimed.

She just glared at him.

"But they weren't anywhere near as beautiful as you, of course!" he finished.

She smiled. "Good answer."

"Hey, Jeff!" called Kelly.

He lit up. "Kelly!" he smiled, hugging her. "Aw, I missed you like crazy!"

"I missed you, too! So, how was the trip?" she asked.

"I told you that I wasn't gonna have any fun there without you." he replied.

"So, you didn't do anything there but sulk in a corner?" she asked.

"Pretty much. The guys begged me to get up and do something, but I refused. I even refused to go to the strip bar with them." he said.

"Wow." she smiled. "You'd miss out on all that for me?"

He smiled back. "Sure! You're the only one who'd cheer me up."

She smiled and hugged him again. "You're awesome, Jeff."

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

Soon after that, everyone, including a beaten up Randy and Edge, met him there…

"Ok, guys, I hope you all had a relaxing trip…because apparently Edge and Randy didn't." Jericho said, eying them.

"Oh, shut it, Jericho!" they both snapped.

"Well, look who woke up on the wrong side of the rock. Anyways, I got big news for you all today. The battle of the sexes is over, and Teams Raw and Smackdown are officially finished. As of now, you all have to depend on yourselves and it's every man and woman for themselves until the finale! Isn't that cool?" he asked.

"WHOO!" cheered Melina. "Now, I can kick all your asses by myself!"

Everyone just glared at her.

"Okay then. And before I announce today's contest, I'm bringing back two fan favorite campers! Come out, you guys!" he called.

"This can't be good." Shawn said nervously.

Then, the Glamazon, minus Santino arrived back on the yacht, with a field of flames in the background highlighting how pissed off she looked.

"Oh…no." muttered Maria.

"Yeah, I'm here after you all voted me and my Tino off! So, I'm back to make you all regret what you did." she said threateningly.

"Fun times." Matt said dully.

Then from out of the woods, Natalya returned next. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed crazily.

"Oh no, she's back, too?" cried Michelle.

But Melina was happy. "OMG, Nattie!" she cried happily.

"Mel!" she cried, hugging her.

"Well here we are, just one big, happy family!" Shawn cried sarcastically, throwing his arms up in the air.

"How'd you get back here?" asked Melina.

"Yeah, I thought you got arrested!" added Mickie.

"They tried to, but I outran them." replied Natalya. "So for all this time, I've been living here in the woods!"

"Wow, a literal freak of nature." Randy muttered.

"Yeah, the Divas of Evil are back together!" exclaimed Melina.

Nattie's eyes sparkled. "You—You really mean that?" she asked with hope.

"Yeah! I was born to be a bitch!" she smiled.

"Ok, ok, if this little family reunion is finished, I still have to explain today's challenge. Today, we're gonna play a little quiz game called, Wheel…Of…Torture!" Jericho exclaimed, unveiling a colorful circle with symbols around it. It looked really cheap, by the way.

"So, this is some kind of jacked up version of Wheel of Fortune?" asked Jeff.

"Jacked up? I spent 2 days making this thing myself!" he exclaimed.

"Exactly." he replied, smirking.

He glared at him. "Anyway, each of you will have to face an excruciating, painful stunt! And as always, the only way you get voted off this week-yes, someone's getting the boot again-is if many of you vote the same person off. And since there are two extra people here, two people are leaving tonight. WOOP WOOP, it's gonna be a double elimination, isn't that awesome?"

Everyone looked shocked.

"Care to bring our spirits down any more, Jericho?" asked Shawn, crossing his arms.

"I'd love to, but the only good news that I have is that the winner of this challenge will win themselves a brand spanking new trailer! With a central air conditioning system, shower, HD TV, Jacuzzi, need I go on?" he continued with a smile, unveiling a shiny, spacey sized trailer that was in mint condition.

"Oh, that is definitely mine." Melina said with a determined smirk. "And nobody's going to stop me."

"Ok, let's get it started!" exclaimed Jericho. "And Kofi, you're lucky number one. I'm gonna ask you a trivia question, and if you answer it right, you don't have to do any stunts. But if you answer it wrong, I'll spin the wheel, all right?"

"Bring it on, mon!" he exclaimed.

"Ok." he said with an evil smile. "I want you to name every single digit in Pi. And no cheating."

"How the hell is anyone supposed to know that?" asked Triple H.

"3.14159265358979323846264338—" Kofi began effortlessly while everyone gasped in shock.

"Ok, ok, my brain's about to explode, STOP!" cried Edge.

Jericho glared at Kofi. "…Ok, you just got lucky. Now, who should be next?" he asked, looking around.

"Me." Edge called for Matt.

"What?" he cried.

"All right, thanks for volunteering, Matt." said Chris.

"But I didn't say—" he began.

"Ok, here's your question! Name the number one largest city on the planet." he read.

"But I didn't even volunteer!" Matt cried.

"Oh, time's up! Let's spin the wheel of torture and see and see what your punishment is!" Jericho exclaimed, spinning the wheel.

The wheel landed on a picture of a snake.

"Hell no." he muttered.

"Yeah. You have to try and escape this 10 ft, 500lb anaconda in 15 seconds!" he exclaimed. "Fun, right?"

"WHAT? Are you TRYING to kill me, Jericho?" Matt demanded.

"No, but it's your job not to let that happen to you. So, HERE WE GO!" Jericho announced, tossing the heavy snake on top of him. "You got 15 seconds starting…NOW!"

Matt was pinned down under the snake, and tried to fight it off of him.

"You ok, man?" called Jeff.

"That snake isn't crushing you, is it?" called Mickie.

"I'm fine…and this snake's not gonna crush me because I'm gonna crush IT!" he called back, lifting the anaconda over his shoulders, and right before it was about to strike him, he tossed it back inside of its cage!

"Whoa…" cried everyone.

"Wow. I didn't think any of you weaklings could handle that. Congratulations!" exclaimed Chris.

"Eh, it was no sweat." Matt replied.

"Ok, next up is…Randy Orton." said Jericho.

"Oh, whoop-de-doo." he said dully.

"Here's your question. What is Ozzy Osbourne's real first name?" he asked.

"That's an easy one. Joe." replied Randy.

"No, I'm sorry. It's John." he replied.

"WHAT?" cried Randy. "I'm never wrong!"

"You are when it comes to women." Edge announced.

"Oh, who asked you, buttmunch?" he snapped back.

"Oh, my. Ok, let's spin the wheel and decide your fate." announced Chris.

He spun the wheel and it landed on a picture of a skunk. "Oh, looks like you have to escape the skunks before they spray you! Isn't that exciting?" he asked.

"You know what, I'm not afraid of any goddamn skunks! I can outrun all of them by a mile." he said confidently.

Then, a herd of random skunks stampeded towards him and then faced their tails towards him.

"Wha-oh." he said quickly.

After that, the skunks sprayed at him while he tried to hide, but it didn't work.

"You can outrun them by a mile, huh?" Jericho asked with a smirk.

When the skunks left, Randy was left there, reeking horribly.

"Not a word from any of you." he said through clenched teeth.

Later, everyone isolated themselves from him, and Jericho needed to pick another victim…

"Next up, Triple H! " he exclaimed. "You ready for your question?"

"No." he said dully. "Can I have the trailer now?"

"Ok, what on an animal is a scut?" asked Jericho.

"A slut? Now, I really don't think that's in any way a body part." he replied. "A slut is someone like—like…"

"Melina!" exclaimed Maria and Michelle.

"Shut up!" she snapped.

"Yeah!" agreed HHH. "Like her."

"Sorry, I said scut, not slut. And the correct answer is its tail." Jericho answered.

"Well, why couldn't you just say that?" demanded HHH.

"Too late! Anyway, let's spin the wheel and decide your fate!" he spun the wheel and it landed on a picture of shorts and ice cream.

"So, I gotta wear shorts and eat ice cream? Sounds good to me!" he said happily.

"Well, not quite. You have to wear painful, wooden shorts, while trying not to get a brainfreeze while eating all the ice cream you can. Think you can handle it?" he asked.

"Aw, my 2 yr old could do that!" he exclaimed.

Soon after that, he put on the wooden shorts and started pigging out on vanilla ice cream.

"AGH! Splinter on my ass!" he cried out in pain.

He quickly gulped down the ice cream, but then…

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed, running around in circles. "BRAIN FREEZE!" he cried while taking out the splinters still stuck inside of him. While he was distracted, he tripped and fell offstage.

"You gotta love him." chuckled Chris.

"And next up is…Melina." he announced.

"Come on, I don't have all day, that trailer's gonna be mine!" she exclaimed.

"Ahem." said Natalya.

"Oh, of course, you get to share with me, Nattie." she giggled nervously.

"All right, here's your question. Of Moe, Larry, and Curley, which is the stooge with the curly hair?" asked Jericho.

"Duh! It's Curley of course!" she answered.

"Wrong answer, know it all! It's Moe!" exclaimed Maria.

"No, girls. Everyone knows that it's Larry." replied Mickie.

"Well, Mickie's right! It's Larry." replied Jericho. "So since you got that question right, Mickie, you don't have to do any stunts today!"

"Really? Yay!" she cheered.

"WHAT?" demanded Melina. "But that was MY question!"

"Which you got WRONG! Tee hee. Now, let's spin the wheel and see your fate, shall we?" he asked, spinning the wheel. It landed on a picture of a nose and some music notes. "Well, looks like you have to get your nose hairs plucked and at the same time, you must listen to the Opera, Don Giovanni, Act 35. Isn't that GREAT?" he asked, excited.

"HEH?" she demanded. "First of all, I do NOT have nose hairs! And second, I'm not listening to any goddamned opera!"

Then, Jericho stuck headphones on her head and began plucking out her nose hairs.

"AAH! I'm gonna-*pluck*-OW! Sue you for this!-*pluck*-OW! And this song is TERRIBLE!" she screamed in terror.

"Isn't it fun seeing her in pain?" asked Michelle.

"Sure is." agreed Maria.

Later…

"All righty then. That was fun, now next up is…Shawn Michaels." he announced.

"Oh, here we go. What do I have to do to humiliate myself now?" he asked flatly.

"Well, as much as I'd love to get to the good part right away, I have to ask you a question first. Ok, what is the name of Shakespeare's only son?" he asked.

"Uh…Bubba?" he asked, confused.

"Hahahaha!...No. The correct answer is Hamlet. So let's spin the wheel and decide your fate!" he exclaimed, doing just that. The wheel landed on a picture of a turtle. "Well, HBK, looks like you have to play a game of slapshot with some turtles. And you have to be tied to the goalpost. Which makes ME the shooter. Isn't that cool?" he asked with a smile.

Shawn gritted his teeth. "I…hate…you." he said darkly.

A few minutes later, Jericho tied him to the goalpost so that he couldn't escape. "Ready?" he asked happily, getting ready to shoot turtle shells towards him.

"Remind me to kill you later!" he shouted back.

Then, Chris rapidly fired turtle shell after turtle shell towards him.

"OW! OH! OOH! YOW! Knock it off! WHOA! OWW!" Shawn cried in pain.

"Aww, poor turtles!" cried Maria.

After that, Jericho dropped the hockey stick. "Kids, don't try that at home." he said with a smile.

Later again…

"That was invigorating. Now next up is…Jeff!" he announced. "You ready?"

"Like I really have a choice." he muttered.

"Awesome! Here's your question. What is the perfect score in a game of Ten Pin Bowling?" he asked.

"Oh, that's easy. 3—" he began.

"—MILLION!" Edge cried from behind.

"What the-?" demanded Jeff.

"Nope, the correct answer is 300." replied Jericho.

"I was about to say that, but Edge messed me up!" he argued.

"I didn't say a thing." Edge replied casually.

"Too late. Let's spin the wheel and DECIDE YOUR FATE, WHOO!" Jericho smiled, spinning the wheel when it landed on a picture of a barrel with leeches inside of it. "Well, Jeffy, your challenge is to stay in a closed barrel filled with leeches for 30 seconds. Ready?"

"Ok, do you remember that I'm claustrophobic? I can't stay in that thing for too long!" he cried.

"It's only for 30 seconds, you'll live." Jericho said, shoving him inside. "Besides, there's probably an air shaft somewhere in there. Or not, I dunno."

"_I'll get you for this!"_ Jeff cried from inside.

"Sure you will. Time starts…NOW!" he called.

The barrel he was in shook and rattled around as the leeches inside attacked him.

"Jeff, are you ok?" called Kelly.

"Can you breathe?" asked Matt.

"_Yes, and yes!" _he replied. _"These things in here are eating me for dinner!"_

"And…TIME!" called Jericho.

Jeff quickly got out of the box.

"Good, you're all right—whoa." Matt said, surprised.

"What?" asked Jeff.

"Uh…" Kelly began, handing him a mirror.

He looked at himself and saw all the leech marks all over him. "What the hell did they do to me? I—I look like Boy George or something!" he cried.

"Well, I still think you're incredibly hot." Kelly said with a smile.

He smiled back. "Thanks. I feel a hell of a lot better now." he replied.

"All right, Michelle, you're up next!" called Jericho.

"Waaaahhhh!" she groaned. "Ok, give it to me straight."

"Your question is, what is the world's most popular non alcoholic drink?"

"Uh…soda?" she asked.

Melina imitated a buzzer.

"Oh, shut up!" she snapped back.

"Sorry, the correct answer is coffee. So, let's spin the wheel and find out YOUR fate!" he exclaimed, spinning the wheel. It landed on a picture of a marshmallow with scissors on it. "Well, well, well. Looks like you get a hot marshmallow facial while you get a haircut. Great, huh?"

"Wh—WHAT? No, you can't cut my hair! I can deal with the marshmallow stuff, but you are NOT touching my hair!" she cried.

"Michelle, I have to. It's just the way things go—hey, where's my scissors?" he demanded.

Triple H managed to steal them while he wasn't looking and hid them. Then, he winked towards Michelle.

She smiled back and winked at him. "So, since you can't find those scissors, I guess you can't cut my hair. Too bad." she told Jericho with a smirk.

"Yeah." he said uncertainly. "Ok then, so I'll just give you a painful facial, with scoiling hot melted marshmallows! HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed evilly, pouring the stuff onto her face. "How's that? Painful, right?" he asked.

To his disappointment, though, she was smiling. "No, this is pretty nice. The fact that it's burning means that it's exfoliating my skin!" she exclaimed.

"Damn." he muttered.

After that…

"Edge, you're up next." he said.

"Bring it on. I can handle it." he said confidently.

Matt and Jeff were ready to jump him from behind.

"Ok, your question is, electrical power is measured in what units?" he asked.

"What's…what's?" he stuttered.

"Correct, Watts is the answer!" exclaimed Jericho.

"No fair, he didn't even know what he was saying!" protested Matt.

"OH, go sit on a tack!" Edge snapped back.

As Matt was about to strangle him, Jeff had to hold him back with all he had. "Not now, man, he's not worth it!" he cried.

"So, since you got that right, you don't have to do any stunts. How lucky. Ok, next is…Maria!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Yay!" she cheered.

"Ok, here's your question. Who was the youngest president of the USA?" he asked.

"Uh…I don't know the answer, so I drew a picture of a little man! Does that count?" she asked, holding up a stick figure drawing.

"No." he replied flatly. "The correct answer is Roosevelt. Ok, let's spin the wheel once more!" he exclaimed, when the wheel landed on a picture of bees. "Uh oh. Maria, looks like you have to have your face covered in bees."

She gasped. "NO! You can't do that to me? See this sweet little face, you don't want to ruin it, do you?" she exclaimed as he approached her with the bees. "Please, can't we compromise?"

"Sorry." he said, smearing honey all over her face. Then, the bees started to attack!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, running in circles.

"LOL." Natalya said with a smile.

After she got a face full of bee stings…

"WAHHH!" she sobbed.

"Oh, get over it, Crybaby." the Glamazon told her.

"Shut up! At least you don't have to worry about going back to your boyfriend looking like…like a PIZZA!" Maria sobbed.

She smiled. "That's true." she replied.

"Ok, Natalya, you're up." said Chris. "Here's your question. In 1929, Donald F. Duncan introduced a toy based on a weapon used by 16th century Filipino hunters. What is it called?"

"I don't know, you ding dong!" she replied.

"The answer is a yo-yo, not a ding dong, doing, dung…ding…*pause* yeah, it's wrong, ok?" he cried, confused.

"Like it matters." she muttered.

"Ok, let's give the wheel a big spinaroonie!" he exclaimed. This time, it landed on a picture of eels and poison ivy. "Well, Nattie, your challenge is to have your face wrapped in poison ivy. And you have to get stung by eels. Can you handle that?"

"Let's just get this done with, ok?" she asked, lying down.

He wrapped the poison ivy around her face, but she didn't seem to mind and sighed happily. "Ohhh, that's goooood…" she smiled. "IT BURNS SO GOOD!"

Chris and the others looked puzzled. Next, he electrocuted her with the eels. "Are you in pain?" he asked. "I want to see someone in pain!"

"Ahhh, HAHAHAHA, yes, yes, YES, OH GOD BABY, YES!" she exclaimed, enjoying every minute of the pain.

Silence.

"...Did you just have an orgasm?" Jericho asked, shocked.

Later…

"Ok, there's two of you left, Kelly Kelly, and the Glamazon. Either of you want to go first?" he asked.

They just glared at each other.

"…Ok then. Glamazon, you're next. And here's your question. Who made the first telephone call to the moon?" he asked.

"Yo' mama." she said dully.

Randy snickered while Jericho just looked at her. "NO, you evil little…the correct answer is Richard Nixon. All right, it's wheel spinnin' time!" he exclaimed, spinning the wheel, which landed on a picture of a monster. "Well, Glamazon, looks like you have to wrestle the Sasquatch in that very large cage over there. It's the toughest stunt yet, so can you handle it?"

"I'm the Glamazon! I can handle anything! Now move outta my way!" she said, going inside of the box.

Everyone waited anxiously as the box shook around, and they even heard some crazy yelling inside.

"Well, at least it's her and not Santino. That Sasquatch would piledrive him into the ground." said Shawn.

A few minutes later, she appeared again, without a scratch on her. "Give me a tougher challenge next time, all right?" she asked.

"Niiiice…" Jericho said, stunned. "All right, Kelly, you ready to wrap things up for today?"

"I guess so." she replied.

"Ok, here's your question. What did Dr. John S Pemberton concoct in his backyard in 1886?" he asked.

"Uh…Pepsi?" she asked.

"Ooh, so close, but no cigar. It was coca cola. So let's spin this wheel for one last time and decide your fate!" he spun the wheel, and it landed on a picture of a log. "Oh snap, this is gonna be a good one!"

"What?" she asked nervously. "Whenever you get excited, something bad happens!"

"Well, you get to go log rolling against the greatest European log roller on the planet, Molotov the bear!" he announced, revealing a full grown bear perched on a log.

"Hello, little girl. Just you try and beat me. Oh wait, you can't! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed evilly.

"Ok first of all, you can talk?" she cried, shocked. "And second of all, I'm not a little girl, I am a woman, and this woman will kick your ass and show you just how wrong are, tubby! So shut up!" she exclaimed.

Everyone was surprised at her new attitude while Jeff was impressed. "You tell 'em, Kel!" he cheered.

A few minutes later, both of them were positioned on a log.

"Ok, when I say go, start rolling, and whoever falls in the water first loses. Ready…set…GO!" called Jericho.

Both of them sped like the wind on their log. Molotov the bear stared angrily at her, while Kelly shot a death glance back at him.

"You're finished." Molotov said as he started rolling the opposite direction.

"Whoa!" Kelly cried as she almost slipped. Then, she outsmarted him and rolled in the right direction. After she did, Molotov got confused and slipped into the water!

"Well, look who just got owned by a blonde. Too bad for you." Kelly smiled.

Her friends cheered for her while Jericho said, "Wow, nobody's ever beaten him before! And since you completed the challenge more smoothly than everyone else, you win the trailer!"

She lit up. "I do? Yay!" she cheered.

Jeff wrapped her in a hug. "I knew you could do it, Kel! Nice job!" he told her.

"Thanks!" she replied.

But Melina was jealous.

"Hey Mel, you ok?" asked Natalya.

"That trailer was supposed to be MINE! And miss goody-two-shoes had to win again! You know what, I need to take a break from this competition." she sighed, heading off into the woods.

"Wait, where are you going?" she asked.

"Somewhere where I can think for a while. I'll be back eventually." replied Melina.

"So, you're gonna leave me all alone?" exclaimed Natalya.

She gave her a hug. "Don't worry. I'll return soon. Maybe." she said, heading off for good.

Later that night, everyone met Jericho at the Campfire of Truth for the elimination…

"All right, gang. You all played hard, but TWO of you gots to go! Now usually, I show everyone at home who you guys choose to leave, but today, I'll show them…AND you guys." Jericho said with a smile.

The gang exchanged confused looks.

"Isn't that supposed to be private?" asked Mickie.

"Not today." he replied. "Here we go."

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Ok, I know that nobody'll come near me for God knows how long, but Edge needs to go for trying to steal Melina from me!"

Shawn: "Well, I said before that I wanted Glamorella broken up. But now that the Glamazon's here again, she's just gonna brag until there's no tomorrow. I'll vote for her."

Mickie: "The Glamazon's just gonna cause more unnecessary trouble for the rest of us."

Maria: "Melina's such a—a slutty bitch! I want her gone!"

Melina: "I just have to say this before I go. Kelly, you enjoy that trailer that I was supposed to win. Because I will be back for revenge. Anyway, I want the Glamazon off because Tino's at home and he probably needs her to spoon feed him."

Triple H: "If that Glamazon can defeat a Sasquatch with flying colors, she's WAY too tough to be around these parts."

Matt: "Ok, Edge seriously got on my last nerve today. I…want…him…gone."

Jeff: "Who the hell does that Edge think he is? He needs to go since Randy ditched him. He's powerless by himself."

Kofi: "Edge is one bad cookie, mon."

Edge: "Randy, you son of a bitch. You try to steal my woman and then jump me afterwards? You're DONE!"

Kelly: "This is a hard choice. I'd have to say the Glamazon just because I'm pissed that she's even back."

Michelle: "The Glamazon's not here to do us any favors. Bye Bye."

Natalya: "It is good to be back. Anyways, I'll vote Maria off because she's an airhead, hahaha."

Glamazon: "I swear, if ANYONE votes me off, I will be PISSED! I can't believe that Randy's still here! I want him gone."

-Back outside-

After hearing that, everyone glanced at one another…

"I'm NOT an airhead!" Maria cried.

"So, Melina will be back for revenge, huh?" asked Kelly. "Where the hell is she?"

"I'M a son of a bitch?" Randy asked Edge.

After that, he jumped him and the two began fighting, rolling on the ground.

As mostly everyone argued, Jericho yelled, "MAINTAIN!"

They all shut up.

"Ok, now if I count the votes, Glamazon, you got the most of them, so it's bye bye to you again!" he exclaimed.

"I hate all of you." she said darkly, heading for the yacht. "You haven't seen the last of me."

"Good riddance!" cried Michelle.

"And the person who got the second most amount of votes and is also leaving is…Edge!" finished Jericho.

"WHAT?" he cried, pulling away from Randy.

"You heard him. You're outta here!" Randy yelled.

As he left for the yacht, he said, "Tell Melina that I love her! And Randy, Matt, Jeff, Kelly, all of you, THIS ISN'T OVER! I'M TOO AWESOME FOR THIS!"

They all just watched him leave.

"To hell with what he says, he's GONE, baby!" Matt cheered.

"Hey, party at Camp Smackdown!" announced Triple H.

"YEAH!" everyone cheered happily.

"Melina, wherever you are, you better not leave me alone for too long. I just know you have a plan in mind." Natalya said, looking back in the woods before joining the rest of the gang.


	16. Episode 16

Total WWE Island – Betrayal is the Key to Destruction

Episode 16

"What's good, everyone? This is the ayatollah of rock and rolla, Chris Jericho with another dramatic week of TWI!

Last week, both teams were officially dissolved as it was now every camper for themselves. Also, two old flames

rejoined us for the challenge! The Glamazon returned raging mad, and declared revenge on everyone for getting rid

of her in the first place. Natalya returned from Mother Nature to rejoin with Melina and begin the Divas of Evil yet

again, and Edge and Randy literally fought till the end for the love of Melina. Last week's challenge was a quiz game

in which you either answer a question right, or you get a grueling, painful stunt. Luckily for Kofi, Mickie, and Edge,

they didn't have to do a thing. But for everyone else, it was a different story. Matt triumphed over a 10ft, 500lb

anaconda, Randy got a surprise from some skunky friends, Triple H managed to get a massive brainfreeze with some

splinters on the side, Shawn had a little fun getting hit by some flying turtles, Maria got a makeover when she got

attacked by a faceful of bees, Melina got a taste of the opera while she got a nose job, it was Jeff vs. a barrel of

leeches, in which the leeches won, Michelle got a relaxing melted marshmallow facial, Natalya survived getting

electrocuted by eels, the Glamazon defeated a Sasquatch in a steel cage match, and Kelly owned Molotov the bear

in a log rolling match for the win! Kelly ultimately won the prize, which was a spanking new trailer, Melina got a little

too jealous and vowed to drop out of the competition, and when every vote counted at the Campfire of Truth, the

Glamazon got the boot once again, and so did Edge! This week, what will Randy do without his partner in crime,

Edge? Did Melina REALLY leave? Will Natalya cause some more trouble? And who will get the boot next? Find out this

week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

After Edge's elimination, Matt, Jeff, Kelly, Mickie, and Michelle all went to Camp Raw to celebrate…

"I propose a toast. To making it this far and saying sayonara to what used to be Edge!" announced Matt.

"Cheers!" they all agreed.

"Now, if only Randy went, too. Then things would be perfect!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Don't forget Melina!" added Kelly. "I have no idea where she went off to, but at least we don't have to worry about her."

"And Natalya, too." agreed Michelle. "If she's Melina's little sidekick, she's no good, either."

"Don't worry about a thing. Natalya's powerless without Melina by her side." replied Matt.

"I wonder if her and I are even still friends." Mickie said thoughtfully. "I mean, she turned nice all of a sudden and we were almost like BFF's. But now that she's turned evil again, I wonder if we're supposed to be enemies now or something."

"Well, even if you are, don't forget that you still have all of us, too." Kelly told her best friend.

"Especially me." Matt said, kissing her. "I love you, babe."

She kissed him back. "I love you too, Matt." she said sincerely.

Meanwhile, Randy, all alone, was wondering where Melina went…

"Where the hell could she be? The last time I saw her, she was hanging around with Natalya." he said to himself. "I hope she's all right."

Then, Natalya joined him. "Randy, have you seen Melina anywhere?" she asked.

"That's just what I was about to ask you." he replied.

"Well, the last time I saw her, she went off into the woods by herself." she said.

"WHAT? And you didn't go in with her?" he demanded.

"I wanted to, but she wanted to go on her own." replied Nattie.

"Did she tell you why she was going off by herself?" he asked.

"She said that she wanted to take a break from the competition. But she said that she'd be back one day." said Natalya. "Now I'm all alone. Can I hang out with you, Randy?"

"Sure, why not? Now since that son of a bitch, Edge is gone, I'm on my own, too." he replied.

Then, they saw Matt and Mickie holding hands and heading somewhere, looking happy.

"That should be Melina and I." Randy said darkly.

Natalya sighed. "The goody-two-shoe gang always gets the happy endings. It bothers me." she said.

"Well, what if there was a way to break them up?" Randy asked with a smile.

"Are you thinking up one of your genius plans?" she asked, smiling too.

"Sure am." he replied.

"I want in!" she raised her hand.

"All right. Maybe the goody-two-shoe gang over there won't have a happy ending after all." Randy said with an evil laugh.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!" _announced Jericho.

Soon after that, everyone met him there…

"Hey gang, how the heck are ya?" asked Jericho.

"Still in pain after you peddled me with turtles yesterday." Shawn replied darkly, sporting a few bruises and a black eye.

"Yeah, wasn't that awesome?" he smiled.

HBK just looked at him. "I hate you." he replied.

"All righty then. Ready for today's challenge, people?" asked Chris.

Some people muttered random answers while others dully said 'no'.

"Great! Today, we're going to go…treasure hunting!" he exclaimed.

"Really? Is there a cash prize?" asked Triple H.

"Nope! Here's the thing. You're not going to be looking for actual treasure, but the keys to a treasure chest!" he explained.

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"You see, there are 11 treasure chests out there, one for each of you. You all have to search all over the island for your own keys. Whoever finds their treasure chest first, wins! Sounds good?" he asked.

"So, what do we win?" asked Maria.

"I dunno. Whatever's in the treasure chest, I guess. Now those are the rules, GET GOING!" he yelled.

"Aw, shut up, damn it." Randy muttered, annoyed.

Soon after that, everyone split up to search…

Maria saw that Triple H, Shawn, and Kofi were searching together. "Hey, you guys!" she greeted.

"Hey, Maria!" greeted Kofi.

"Can I search with you guys?" she asked. "I still don't know if Michelle and I are on the right page yet."

"Sure thing! Eight eyes are one hell of a lot better than six." replied HHH.

"Unless you're a Cyclops. Then, your luck goes all downhill from there." added Shawn.

Confused, the three looked at him.

"Well, IT'S TRUE!" he snapped back.

Meanwhile, Matt, Mickie, Jeff, Kelly, and Michelle searched in another direction together…

"I hope it doesn't take us all night to find these keys." said Michelle. "After Jericho gave me that burning marshmallow facial, it burns like hell every time it's hot outside."

"Well, if that does happen, you could always stick your head in that lake." Jeff pointed to one that looked polluted with a few dead fish floating up to the surface.

"After I'm dead." she finished, chuckling.

"Hey look! I found the first key." announced Matt.

"Cool, one down, four to go!" smiled Mickie.

"Actually, I want you to have this key." he replied.

"No! Matt, I couldn't! You found it fair and square." she replied.

He gave her the key anyway. "Take it. I insist." he replied.

"You're so sweet, baby." she smiled, kissing him.

As the group went on, Randy and Natalya overheard them.

"'You're so sweet, baby!'" Natalya imitated. "Did you think up a plan yet, Randy? Before I keel over from this mush fest?"

"Yeah. Just wait until they split up and search in different directions. Then, things will go as smooth as silk." he replied.

After they went on, Melina saw the whole scene from the bushes. "What plan? I should catch up to them later and find out!" she exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Maria and the guys would find a couple of keys in an unexpected place…

"How long do we have to walk?" she asked. "I'm exhausted! We've been walking for like, 5 miles!"

"Maria, we've been walking for 5 minutes." replied Shawn.

"Oh." she replied, embarrassed. "My bad."

"Hey, I'll carry you." Triple H said, lifting her onto his back.

She giggled. "Thanks!"

Then, she saw something bright shining from a nearby cave. "Hey, you guys see something shining over there?" she asked.

"You mean in that cave?" asked Kofi. "I see something, too!"

"So do I." agreed HHH.

"Same here. Let's go check it out, gang!" Shawn said, leading the way.

When they approached the cave, a school of bats sped outside towards them.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Maria screamed.

"AH! My nose, Maria, my NOSE!" HHH cried, trying to remove her hands from squeezing his nose in fear.

"Oops! My bad!" she repeated.

Then, Shawn caught two keys hanging from something on the roof. "Well, looky here! Kofi, stand on my shoulders and try to get em, will ya?" he asked.

"Sure thing, mon!" he exclaimed.

While he was about to grab the keys, the roof began moving!

"AAAAAHH!" they both screamed, falling down.

The keys fell, too, but the roof started shaking, as if an earthquake were approaching.

"Guys, grab the keys and let's get the hell outta here!" shouted HHH.

After they escaped the cave, it made a loud growling sound. Yes, it was weird.

"What…was…THAT?" cried Maria.

"No idea, but we got the keys!" Shawn said with a smile. "Let's keep goin', shall we?"

Meanwhile, Melina caught Randy and Natalya and called to them.

"Psst!" she hissed from the bushes.

They didn't hear her.

"PSST!"

They whipped around.

"Melina!" they both cried, surprised.

"SHH! Don't give me away!" she scolded.

"Where the hell were you?" demanded Randy.

"Around. But I am tired and I just need to take a break from the competition right now." she explained. "So, I overheard something about a plan in the making?"

Then, Natalya caught Matt and the gang going off in different directions.

"Randy! They're separated! Is the plan in action?" she asked.

"Yeah." he replied with a small smile.

"WHAT plan?" asked Melina.

"Tell you later. Be right back." he said, dragging Natalya with him.

Melina looked blankly at the scene.

After he led them both to a secret spot, Randy said, "Ok, here's the plan. I'm gonna go sweet talk Mickie, while you keep looking out to see if Matt's coming, all right?"

"Wait, but that doesn't explain anything to me!" she replied.

"I'll sweet talk her, you know, tell her that he's not good enough for her and that I am, that stuff." he explained.

"And I'm looking out for Matt, why?" she asked.

"When you see him coming this way, make some kind of signal to me, and I'll take the rest from there." he finshed.

"Gotcha." Natalya replied, following orders and leaping into a bush.

"Haha. Rated RKO may be over, but RKO still stands strong." he smiled devilishly.

As Mickie was searching for a treasure chest, Randy appeared behind her.

"Hey, uh, Mickie?" he asked.

"Randy? What the hell do you want?" she demanded.

"Listen. I don't think you should be searching for something all alone here on this huge island. Where'd Matt go?"

She looked at him questioningly. "He went to look for another treasure chest. Why do you need to know?" she asked slowly.

"Well, that's not very considerate of him to leave you all alone just so that he could find his own treasure. Don't you think?" he continued.

"Randy, cut the crap, will you? Now tell me what the hell you're up to. Why are you suddenly coming in between Matt and I?" she demanded.

"I'm just saying! If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn't leave you behind for a second." he said 'sincerely'.

Little did they know, Melina heard everything from behind another section of bushes.

"Ha! 'If I were your boyfriend'." Mickie repeated. "Nice joke."

"I'm serious. I'd never leave you behind like he did. As a matter of fact, he's not good enough for you! I am!" he replied seriously.

Mickie backed away. "Ok, you better get away from me before I scream." she said seriously.

Then, Natalya clicked her tongue as a signal to Randy. "WOOP, WOOP, WOOP!" she cried crazily.

"I said, get away from—" began Mickie.

Right then, Randy pulled her close to him and passionately kissed her!

Matt came at the wrong time and saw the scene, Melina looked in horror, and Natalya had the biggest smile on her face.

Mickie quickly pulled away from him. "What the HELL?" she demanded. Then, she caught Matt. "Matt. Matt, it's not what you think."

"I hope not. I hope I didn't just see the love of my life kissing my enemy!" he said, storming off.

"Matt!" she cried. After that, she stormed up to Randy and forcefully slapped him across the face. "Ill NEVER forgive you for this!" she snapped, running off.

"Oh! So THAT was the big surprise!" exclaimed Natalya.

"And it was a success!" Randy added. "Great job, Nattie."

Then, an angry Melina stormed out and joined them.

"Melina! Uh—" he began.

"Did you mean what you said to her?" she demanded.

"No, it was a part of my plan!" he argued. "Melina, you know that I love you."

"Yeah, sure. That kiss didn't look planned, did it? You both looked like you were enjoying it." she snapped.

"No! Melina, will you just calm down?" asked Randy.

"Yeah, I'll calm down." she said, then slapping him across the face next. "There. I'm better. We're through, Randy!" she cried, running back into the woods.

"MELINA!" he called, about to go after her. "You get back here RIGHT now, I'm not finished with you!"

Natalya held him back. "Just give her some time. You'll work this out later on." she said.

Meanwhile, Maria, Triple H, Shawn, and Kofi managed to find two more keys, and were off to find their treasure chests…

"Could this have worked out any better?" asked HHH. "We find all of our keys, we're probably way ahead of everyone else, and it's only about 1:00!"

"And I think that things just got even better." smiled Shawn.

"What do you mean, mon?" asked Kofi.

"I see four treasure chests down that ditch." he replied. "Who wants some lucky charms?"

"ME!" everyone else smiled, raising their hands.

As the four slid down the steep ditch, they quickly found themselves a treasure chest and slowly opened them.

"I wonder what's inside. Gold?" asked Shawn.

"Jewelry?" asked Maria.

"Money?" asked Kofi.

"FOOD?" asked Triple H.

Everyone looked at him.

"I'm a hungry man, remember?" he asked.

Then, they turned back to the treasures, opened them, and found…

Their faces fell in shock.

"…Wishbones?" Maria asked dully.

"We spent all that time for some goddamned wishbones?" demanded HHH.

"Well, easy come, easy go, mon." said Kofi.

"Got that right. All right, let's get outta here, gang." said Shawn.

But when they tried to climb up, more dirt piled down onto them.

"AAH!" they cried.

"So, every time we try to escape, we're one foot closer to being buried alive...WAAAAHHH!" cried Maria.

"Calm down. I know just the solution." HHH said slyly.

He grabbed each treasure chest and stacked them on top of one another as if they were stairs. Then he braided up the wishbones to make a rope, threw the rope over the edge, and began to climb up.

The other three looked in surprise.

"These weren't as useless as we thought." he smiled. "Follow me if you want to get the hell outta here!"

The three smiled and followed his plan.

"I never thought I'd say this, but you are a genius, man!" exclaimed Shawn. "And that's a thought that would never cross my mind."

Triple H glared at him. "Oh thanks, PAL."

Meanwhile, Jeff, Kelly, and Michelle all caught up with an angry Matt…

"Hey man, you find anything?" asked Jeff.

As an answer, Matt angrily snapped off a tree branch, stomped on it, and fiercely tossed it in the river.

"I guess not." Jeff finished.

"Everything ok, Matt?" asked Kelly.

He sighed. "I saw Mickie kissing Randy." he said quietly.

They gasped.

"No way! It had to've been someone else." said Michelle. "Mickie loves you!"

"Yeah, she'd never cheat on you." agreed Jeff.

"Believe me, it was her." Matt said sadly.

Then, Mickie joined the gang.

"There you are! Ok, tell us you didn't kiss Randy, because I know you didn't!" exclaimed Kelly.

"I didn't." she replied.

"See?"

"He kissed me." she finished.

"WHAT?" Kelly, Jeff, and Michelle exclaimed.

"Yeah. Matt, please hear me out! Randy made the moves on me. I tried to pull away, I really did!" she said with tears in her eyes.

"But you couldn't though. Mickie, you should've just called me if he was bothering you! But instead of doing that, you, like always, had to handle things your own way." he replied.

She turned serious. "What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

"Whenever you try to take care of things yourself, it always goes wrong." he clarified.

"So, you think that I'm not capable of taking care of myself?" she cried back.

"No, it's just—I hate that Randy kissed you!" he snapped, walking off.

As she watched him walk away, she broke down in tears. "Why is this happening to us?" she sobbed.

"Neither of you are to blame." Kelly said soothingly, hugging her. "Don't cry, sweetie."

"I say we find Randy and have a word with him." said Jeff.

"Good idea. Let's go, guys." agreed Michelle.

But before they could go anywhere, everyone else was returning to camp.

"Hey, you guys, time to head back." announced HHH.

"Mickie? You all right?" Shawn asked, concerned.

She fixed herself up. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." she replied, walking off to camp on her own.

"What happened?" asked Maria.

"Randy kissed Mickie." replied Jeff.

"But why?" asked Hunter. "He knows that she's with Matt."

"I know. We're trying to find out why he did it, too." said Michelle.

"Just when I thought Orton couldn't be any lower." Shawn said.

"Well, there's only one thing we can do." announced Kelly. "And that's to vote Randy off next."

Not long after that, Randy and Natalya joined them next…

"YOU!" exclaimed Shawn. "Why'd you kiss Mickie? You knew that she already has a boyfriend."

"Ok, I have no idea what you're talking about." he said.

"What? Mickie just told us that you kissed her!" exclaimed Kelly. "And I know that she didn't lie."

"But she kissed ME! She was all over me like…like icing on a cupcake!" he argued.

"Mmm, cupcakes…" Natalya smiled to herself. "Tee hee."

"Try all you want, but we're not buying it for a second." Jeff replied, crossing his arms. "And now, you just destroyed my brother with your dumb little plan."

"This dumb little plan worked, didn't it?" he asked, glaring at his enemy.

"Randy!" snapped Natalya. "Don't tell them!"

"So, you DO admit it!" exclaimed Michelle. "You little worm! We've all decided to vote you off of here so that you can join Edge, wherever the hell he is!"

Randy looked defeated and just glared at everyone there.

"What, no comeback?" asked Triple H. "I always knew that you were a weasel, Orton. Ever since day one."

"This isn't over." Randy said darkly, heading back to camp.

Natalya looked at everyone else before running off with Randy. "Hmph!"

"Yeah, he's definitely outta here." nodded Maria.

A few minutes later, everyone met Jericho at the Campfire of Truth for the next elimination…

"Hey, I see that some of you found the treasures! How were they?" Jericho asked with a smile.

Shawn tossed a wishbone at him. "No good, you cheapskate!" he snapped.

"HEY, I do what I can, all right? Now, let's show everyone at home who you chose to leave tonight." he said.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "I don't care what anyone says, this plan turned out absolutely perfect! Now after seeing that I kissed his girlfriend, Matt's probably too devastated to continue in the contest any further. So, I'll do him a favor and vote for him."

Shawn: "I swear, that Orton gives us guys a bad name!"

Mickie: "Randy, I hate you! I hate you for what you did, and now the man I love hates me!"

Maria: "Randy, you're such a meanie!" :(

Triple H: "Orton, you're messed up in the head, you know that?"

Matt: "Orton, I know you've done some dirty things in the past, but you've done it this time. If you're not voted off of this island tonight, I'll get you off myself!"

Jeff: "Just because your relationship isn't working out, Orton, doesn't mean that you had to destroy Matt and Mickie's! You better be gone tonight."

Kofi: "Poor Mickie. Randy, you're a bad man, mon!"

Kelly: "Randy, you snake! You just sabotaged my best friend's relationship! I'll never forgive you for that!"

Michelle: "If I had a dollar for all the times you hurt someone or embarrassed them, I'd be rolling in dough right now. I hope you're happy, Orton."

Natalya: "I had no idea that Randy's plan would work so well! EVERYONE'S having a miserable time! I honestly don't know who to vote for, so I'll say Maria because I still think that she's an airhead."

-Back outside-

"All righty then. When I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Michelle…Kelly…Shawn…Jeff…Kofi…Matt…Triple H….Maria…and Natalya."

Everyone looked nervous, especially Mickie, and so did Randy.

"Ok, one of you stays and one of you goes. And the person leaving tonight is…"

Everyone was dead silent.

Jericho looked shocked at the result. "Whoa. Mickie?" he announced.

Randy, although he was shocked, sighed in relief.

"WHAT?—NO!" everyone else cried.

"…What?" Mickie asked, not believing it either.

"Wow. Sorry Mickie, but it's the end of the road for you. I'll give you some time to say goodbye to your friends." Chris replied.

"Jericho, wait!" called Jeff. "None of us even voted her off! This is some kind of mistake!"

"Sorry, but it's too late now." he replied. "Just deal with it."

Mickie wiped away a tear. "I—I guess this is it, you guys." she said.

Shawn hugged her first. "We've had so many good times together, even when our team was falling apart. This place isn't gonna be the same without you." he said.

"Yeah, we've had a blast, Shawn! I'll miss you so much!" she smiled.

Then, Triple H hugged her next. "Well, kiddo, it's been real! You're like, one of the only peacemakers here and now all hell's going to break loose once you're gone." he said.

She laughed. "You guys will survive without me."

"No, we won't." said Kofi, hugging her next.

Maria rushed to give her a hug. "Don't go, Mickie! We need you!" she cried.

"Mickie, you're one of my best friends! What am I gonna do without you?" Michelle asked, hugging her next.

"You shouldn't even be the one going back home tonight. We're gonna fix this, all right?" Jeff asked, hugging her.

"Thank you so much, Jeff. I'll miss you!" she replied.

"I'll miss you, too." he replied.

Then, she saw Kelly and broke down. "…Kelly!" she cried.

"Mickie…" she cried in reply, embracing her best friend in a hug. "You can't leave us! Especially me! You just can't." she said, a tear coming down her face.

"I don't want to leave any of you, either. Especially you, Kel. I love you." she smiled.

"I love you, too." she replied.

Finally, she approached Matt, who was facing the ocean, still looking pissed.

"Goodbye, Matt. I love you." she told him before walking off to the yacht.

But before it was too late…

"Mickie!" he called.

He ran to her and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry." he said, his voice breaking. "I'm sorry I got mad. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, baby, it's ok. Remember, we'll see each other again. This isn't the end." she replied, wiping his tears away.

Then, they shared one last passionate kiss. "I love you so much, Mickie, I really do." he said.

"I love you too, Matt." she smiled, while she was on the yacht.

After that, the yacht sailed off and the two blew a kiss to one another. When she was out of sight, Matt approached the gang, angrier than ever.

"I'm sorry, man." said Triple H.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" asked Shawn. "You want us to kick Randy's ass for you?"

"Thanks, you guys. But I need to take care of him on my own. He doesn't know who he just messed with." he said darkly.

"Wait, where'd Randy go, anyway?" asked Jeff.

"He's in the shower. Why?" asked Michelle.

"I'll be back." he replied, heading off.

"Ok, what's he up to?" asked Kelly.

When Randy stepped into the shower…

"Well, saved from yet another elimination. Rand, you are a genius." he said with a sly smile.

Then, when he turned the water on, nothing came out.

"What the?" he muttered.

All of a sudden, sewage spewed out from where the water was supposed to come out, and now he was being sprayed in filth!

Outside…

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" _he screamed.

Jeff laughed as he finished connecting the shower system to the sewage system. "Have a nice time, Orton. You really deserve it, man." he said, going back to the gang.


	17. Episode 17

Total WWE Island – A Little Rat Told Me…

Episode 17

"Hey, TV Land! This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho here with another exciting week of TWI!

Last week, jealousy was the name of the game when Natalya and Randy both expressed their hatred of the good

guys. So Randy's new plan: break up Matt and Mickie! While last week's challenge, a key/treasure scavenger hunt

went on, Nattie and Randy planned up a storm while Melina came out of nowhere and wanted in on the action, but

never got a chance to. Meanwhile, Shawn, Triple H, Kofi, and Maria were searching and found their keys in a cave

that practically almost ate them alive! Later on, they managed to find the treasures, which were…wishbones! I didn't

mean to be a cheapskate, so don't judge me, people! Anyways, Randy's plan went into action once he sweet talked

Mickie, and when Matt arrived, Randy did the unthinkable and made out with her! Melina broke up with him after

that, and Matt was too pissed to talk about it. While Mickie broke down in tears, the rest of the gang wanted justice,

so they decided, why not vote Randy off? And that's exactly what they tried to do, but in one of the most shocking

eliminations of the season, Mickie was the one who ended up getting the boot! After an emotional farewell, Matt

was more furious than ever. This week, will Matt give Randy the hell that he deserves after losing his true love? And

who will get the boot next? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Everyone, except for Randy and Natalya were hanging out at Camp Raw's site, still thinking about Mickie's elimination…

"This is the second time that the votes were rigged!" exclaimed Kelly. "None of us voted Mickie off, and she goes anyway? I know Randy was behind all of this."

"We need to do something about him." agreed Michelle. "If we just let this slide, she's not going to get the justice that she deserves."

"I'll make him wish that he wasn't born." Matt said darkly.

"Hey, if it'll make you feel better, I hooked up the shower system to the sewage system and well, Randy got a little surprise." Jeff said with a smile.

"Really? Nice!" Matt exclaimed, knuckle punching him.

"Haha! Yeah, at this rate, nobody's gonna go near him now." laughed Triple H.

Meanwhile, Natalya joined Randy at Camp Smackdown…

"Hey Rand—WHOO! Uh, did that skunk from a few challenges ago come back and started getting it on with you?" she asked.

He blinked. "No. I just got rid of that stench when someone rigged the shower system! I got sprayed with…garbage!" he exclaimed angrily. "But I don't care. I got rid of one member of the goody goody gang, at least."

"Uh, I helped, too!" she cried.

"Aw, all you did was click your tongue. Big help." he said sarcastically.

She glared at him, shocked. "Big help? If I weren't there, you wouldn't have seen Matt coming, and then your little plan would've flopped!...And maybe Melina would still like you." she smirked.

"Don't you mention her! After SHE broke up with ME, she disappeared again. But you know what, I'm here to win that $500 grand, not to deal with a girl who can't keep her legs closed." he said hastily.

Melina heard everything from the bushes. "Oh, so that's what you think of me? Randy Orton, I am officially finished with you!" she exclaimed, crying.

"_Attention campers, please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!"_ announced Jericho.

A few minutes later, everyone met him there…

"Hey, you guys! Isn't it a scorcher out here today?" asked Chris.

"I'd like to scorch YOU!" cried Shawn.

"Keep it in your dreams, Michaels. And since today's such a hot day outside, I've got the perfect challenge for you guys." he said, smiling.

Then out of nowhere, Chef Big Show started attacking everyone with his HUGE water gun!

"AAHH!" they screamed, drenched.

"What the hell?" demanded Randy.

"I'm baaaack…" Big Show smiled.

"Oh, no. Please don't tell me that we're doing boot camp again!" exclaimed Maria.

"Nope. Today, we're gonna play hide and seek." Jericho replied with a grin.

"Oh, what are we, 4 years old?" demanded Jeff.

"To me, yes. Anyway, all of you need to hide somewhere around camp while Big Show searches for you. But be forewarned: he is a certified Hide and Seek expert!" he explained.

"And if I attack you with my water gun, you're out. HAHAHA!" Show laughed.

"How he'll count down from 30, and while he does that, you all need to get the hell up outta here! So have fun with the job!" Jericho smiled, speeding back into his office and slamming the door behind him.

"30…29…28…27…" Show began counting.

"Kelly, I know the perfect hiding spot! Let's go!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Are you sure? Big Show might be able to find anyone, anywhere!" she replied.

"Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. I'm Jeff Hardy, remember? Don't ever underestimate me." he said with a smirk.

She blushed. "Awesome." she replied.

As they ran off, Randy and Natalya sped off in another direction.

"Natalya! Why are you following me?" he demanded.

"Well, I just had a great idea! If the both of us hide together, we'll have a better chance of winning! What do you think?" she asked.

"Ok, you helped me out once, but that was it! You're on your own!" he exclaimed, running off.

She just glared at him. "Oh yeah? We'll see about that." she said evilly.

"…14…13…12…11…" Show continued counting.

"88...87…86…85…" Triple H counted as he sped by.

"84…83…82…81…" Big Show continued.

Meanwhile, HHH decided to hide in the boat house, and quietly closed the door behind him. When he turned around, though, he nearly jumped out of his skin once he already saw Shawn, Matt, and Kofi there.

"Whoa! What are you guys doing here?" he asked.

"Well, this is probably the best hiding spot around." replied Matt.

"And there was nowhere else to go." agreed Kofi.

"Hey, you guys! Have room for one more?" asked a feminine voice.

"Maria?" Shawn asked in surprise.

"This is cozy!" she smiled, appearing from out of nowhere.

"Ok, I'm getting bad vibes right now." Shawn announced.

"Vibes? Are you some kind of healer now?" asked HHH.

"No, I mean there are four of us guys and only one girl. I don't mean to be sexist or anything, but I think that us guys would be better off together." he said quietly.

"Really?" asked Matt and Kofi.

"Yeah, he has a point. I mean, Maria's awesome, but she's kinda ditzy, you know? She might rat us out. And I'm sure that none of you would want to get caught first." said Triple H.

"True." they both agreed.

"I say we form an alliance. Just the four of us." said Shawn.

"Yeah!" they all agreed.

"What should it be called?" asked Matt.

"Ooh! How about the Mighty Macho Men?" asked Hunter.

"Yeah! Ok, I was thinking The Flying Dutchmen, but that works, too!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Whatcha talking about?" Maria asked, joining them.

"Well, uh, we were thinking of a good place for you to hide." explained HHH. "I mean, you wouldn't want to hide in this old dump."

"I wouldn't?" she asked.

"No! A much better place would be…the mess hall, y'know, right by the cafeteria." replied Shawn, leading her outside.

"Really? That'll work?" she asked.

"Sure will! Now hurry before Big Show catches you!" he replied, closing the door after her. "Ok, she's gone."

"...The Flying Dutchmen?" Matt asked, confused.

Meanwhile, Maria headed to the mess hall, but she didn't know that Jeff and Kelly were hiding there first…

The two hid in a large cabinet that was in a dark corner.

"Well, you were right. This probably is the best hiding spot." announced Kelly.

"Told ya. And since we're hiding in a dark cabinet in a dark corner of the room, there's no way that he can find us." agreed Jeff.

"Well, it's kinda romantic, too. Once you think about it, it's dark, we're alone…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, you've got a point there. Maybe this is the perfect chance to…" began Jeff.

"Kiss?" she asked with hope.

"Yeah." he smiled, leaning closer to her.

She leaned closer to him.

And since it was dark, they really didn't see what was going on. They kissed, but not each other.

"Oh my! Now this is a welcome wagon!" exclaimed a voice.

Jeff quickly turned on the flashlight.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" they all screamed in surprise.

"Wow, a kiss on the cheek from both of you? How sweet!" exclaimed Maria.

"Maria? How'd you get in here?" demanded Kelly.

"I dunno, I just happened to find my way here." she replied.

"Ria, I'm sorry, but don't you think that there isn't enough room for the three of us?" Jeff asked nicely.

"True. I guess one of you will have to find somewhere else to hide." she replied. "Kelly, you should try hiding in that ditch that Big Show dug up when he tried to bury Edge that day. Y'know, when Edge called Show that hurtful name after Big Show was forced to sit on him to calm Edge down..." she rambled on.

Kelly and Jeff looked at each other and then…

"OUT!" cried Kelly.

She kicked her outside, leaving Maria stunned. "Ok, then I guess I'll see you two later!" she called back.

Meanwhile, Randy hid under his bed at Camp Raw's site, but an unexpected visitor would join him…

"There's no way Big Show could even fit under here." he chuckled to himself.

Then, Natalya barged in, looked under the bed, and found him.

"I knew I'd find you here. Scoot over." she said, joining him.

"Natalya? I told to you leave me alone!" he snapped.

"But I'm trying to do both of us a favor here! I'm telling you, if both of us stick together, we'll outsmart everyone else!" she exclaimed.

"I do not need any more favors from you! I'm in this for myself, so you just better find your own hiding spot and leave me alone!" Randy exclaimed, shoving her out from underneath the bed.

"You jerk!" she snapped. Then, she looked up and saw the Big Show standing right over her.

"Surprise." he smiled. After he sprayed the water gun at her, he said, "Randy, I heard your voice, too! Come on out!"

He slowly climbed out. "Whatever." he muttered.

Big Show sprayed water in his face. "HAHA!" he laughed.

Randy got up and glared at Natalya. "I hope you're proud of yourself." he said darkly.

"This is your fault! If you'd just let me help you, and you weren't so damn selfish, we'd still be hiding!" she argued.

"This is why I don't want you anywhere around me anymore!" Randy argued back as they all left the cabin.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "She should've stuck with Melina. If she keeps sticking to me like glue, oh-ho, she's gonna pay!"

Natalya: "Randy Orton, you need me and you know it! You're just too much of a coward to admit it!"

-Back outside-

In another part of the camp, Michelle hid up one of the highest trees in the park, but would Big Show find her?

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." he said, aiming his water gun around.

Michelle almost slipped off of the branch she was standing on.

"Oh!" she gasped.

"WHO'S THERE?" he demanded.

She turned as pale as a ghost.

"Ok, I know that someone's around here! Just come out and it'll all be over. I promise." he said. "Hey, if you come down, I'll give you money!"

Then, a flower flew right by Michelle's nose. "Ah…ah…AH.." she tried to stifle her sneeze.

"COME ON! I offered you money! There's nothing better than that!" exclaimed Show.

"Ah…AH…!" she stifled.

"Ok, I guess there's no one here after all." Big Show said, heading off.

"….CHOO!" she sneezed.

Then, he came rushing back and aimed the water gun at her.

"Uh, that wasn't me?" she asked nervously.

"Uh huh." he smiled along. "Ready for a splash?"

As he was about to spray her, she did an amazing leap off of the branch, flipped backwards, and then kicked him on the head, before landing on her feet.

"OW!" he cried, holding his head in pain. "HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

"NYAH!" she laughed as she ran off.

Back at the boat house, the guys' new organization was already at a rocky start…

"This is awesome! An organization just for us dudes!" exclaimed Matt. "You think there's any way I could beat up Randy before Big Show finds us?"

"Well, I'd like to say yes, but probably not." replied Shawn. "Now go away, all of you!"

"Why?" asked Kofi.

"This is MY hiding spot!" he snapped, hiding in a closet and slamming the door.

Triple H pried open the door. "No. If we're all in this together, then we all need to hide in here!" he exclaimed. "There's plenty of room."

HBK was silent for a moment. "I WAS HERE FIRST!" he taunted, slamming the door in their faces.

Then, the three tried to open the doors, but Shawn locked them out.

"Come on, man, let us in!" cried Matt.

He quickly opened the door and stuck his tongue out at them, then quickly closed it shut again.

"That's it!" Triple H exclaimed, trying to use force to kick the door down.

"Forget it, man." said Matt. "There's plenty of room around this whole place. Let's just find another place to hide."

HHH glared at the closed closet that Shawn was hiding in. "Fine." he replied, going somewhere else.

A few minutes later, Matt had found his hiding spot, but Kofi had trouble…

"Hey-hey, Kofi, what are you doing here?" asked Triple H.

"I couldn't find a good hiding spot, mon." he replied.

"Well, this is my hiding spot, so you'll have to go look somewhere else!" he exclaimed.

"I can't, mon! It's hard to get down from this attic! If we move any more, it'll collapse!" he replied.

Then, the floor beneath them started to creak.

"Ok, we need to get outta here NOW!" exclaimed HHH.

The floor started crackling.

"I don't think we can, mon." replied Kofi.

Then…

*BOOM!*

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" they both screamed, falling back to the first floor.

*THUMP!*

"AGH! Damn it, I fell on a fork!" cried HHH.

They looked up and saw Big Show.

"Hello." he greeted.

"Hello." they both said blankly. The two looked at each other.

"…RUN!" exclaimed HHH.

But as soon as they did, Big Show sprayed them with his water gun.

"Aw!" cried Kofi.

"Thanks, dude. Thanks a lot." HHH replied, drenched.

Back in the mess hall, Kelly and Jeff were alone once again, but were they really alone?

"Ok, if she interrupts us one more time…" began Kelly.

"Kel, don't worry, we're alone now. Now I believe that I was about to kiss those beautiful lips of yours." Jeff said with a smile.

She smiled back. "And I was about to kiss yours." she said with a seductive look.

"You're amazing, Kel." he said, gazing at her through the darkness.

"You're amazing too, Jeff." she replied, gazing back at him.

As they leaned in for a kiss, the door suddenly flew open.

"AAAAHHH!" they both shrieked.

"What do you two think you were doing?" asked Big Show.

"Something that we never seem to get done!" Jeff cried, annoyed.

"Well, listen up. This is MY kitchen, not a make out hotspot!" he exclaimed.

"Now, YOU listen—" began Jeff.

Then, Big Show sprayed water in their faces. "Gotcha." he smiled. "Hahahaha…"

Meanwhile, Randy, followed by Natalya, decided to enter the boat house where Matt and Shawn were still hiding…

"Will you STOP following me?" he demanded. "I swear, you're more annoying than Edge!"

"I am just trying to help you out! My God, you're SOOOOOO stubborn!" she exclaimed.

Then, she caught the closet door moving slightly, and managed to peek through to see Shawn hiding.

"Randy! I found Shawn hiding in the closet!" she told him.

"Really? Good eye." he said, walking around.

Natalya headed in a different direction and saw a shoe from under the bed. She looked underneath and found Matt hiding next. Nattie ran downstairs and bumped into Randy again. "Hey, I found Matt, too!" she exclaimed. "He's two rooms upstairs, under the bed."

"So, he thinks that he can copy my hiding spot, huh? Well, I'll just find Big Show and rat him AND Shawn out!" he cried.

"Don't forget me! I helped, remember?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." he mumbled.

When they went outside, they bumped into Big Show again.

"I'm actually glad that I found you, man. You know, I found two of the guys still hiding in there." said Randy.

"WHAT?" demanded Natalya.

"Really? Where are they?" asked Show.

"Shawn, first closet on the right, Matt, upstairs, two rooms down, under the bed." he replied. "Found them all myself!"

"Good eye! Be right back." he said, heading inside.

"Randy, I found them, not you! If it weren't for me, you'd be in there looking like an idiot!" she snapped.

"Aw, calm down, you crybaby." he replied.

Then, Big Show dragged both Shawn and Matt outside. "Thanks again." he said, leaving.

"YOU!" Shawn pointed to Randy.

Instead of saying anything, Matt tackled Randy down and started beating the living hell out of him.

"You're FINISHED, man!" he shouted. "You take my girlfriend away, I'll take something of yours away!"

Shawn dragged him away. "All right, easy, man." he said calmly.

"THIS ISN'T OVER!" Matt cried to Randy.

"I swear, I never even rigged the votes that night! I don't know who did!" Randy exclaimed, confused. "Was it you?"

"No! I didn't do anything!" exclaimed Natalya.

Meanwhile, while Michelle tried to find another hiding spot, she bumped into Maria…

"Oh, hi." she greeted.

"Hi." replied Maria.

"So, I guess you can't find a hiding spot either, huh?" asked Michelle.

"Nope. I've been kicked out of every place I could find." she replied.

"Want to stick together?" she asked. "I'm sure you don't want to go off alone."

Maria brightened up. "Sure. Michelle, I know that we haven't spoken much since Punky and John left. I wish that this whole rivalry could just be over and done with so we can become friends again."

"Me, too. I mean, we're best friends. We've done way too much together to throw it all away now. I'm sorry for everything I've done." Michelle said sincerely.

"I'm sorry that I was such a control freak and I'm really sorry that I called you a whore. Can you forgive me?" asked Maria.

"How can I not forgive my best friend in the world?" she smiled.

Both girls laughed as they hugged, but then…

*SPLASH!*

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" they screamed, suddenly soaking wet.

"Aw, sorry to interrupt such a sweet moment….but I gotcha! And that's just about everyone! WHOO!" Big Show cheered.

"Great job, Show!" exclaimed Jericho, joining him. "That was exciting, wasn't it, girls?"

"Yeah, and…wet." replied Maria.

Later that night, everyone met Jericho at the Campfire of Truth for the next elimination…

"Well, well, well. Seems like everyone's been caught. Wonderful." Jericho said with a sick smile. "Heh heh. Now, let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave."

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Matt, you want to start a fight with me? Then, you'll also get a vote from me. That way, you can join your girlfriend."

Shawn: "Now, does Hunter really have the nerve to criticize me for stealing the best hiding spot? I was the one who started the damn organization! I'll go easy on you this time, so I'll have to vote Kofi because he helped to blow our cover."

Maria: "Ok, I'll vote Randy because he's a big, mean, jerk!"

Triple H: "Shawn, you had to expose us so that YOU could get the good hiding place? I'll give you a break this time, but I'll vote Kofi because…well, he blew my cover!"

Matt: "Randy, we're not through here, all right? I hate you."

Jeff: "So, I heard that Natalya's bugging the hell out of Orton. Kudos to her! Anyways, as usual, I want Orton voted off."

Kofi: "HHH knew that I needed a hiding spot and he wouldn't listen!"

Kelly: "Maria's my friend and all, but she always manages to barge in at the wrong time! I'll vote for her, I guess."

Michelle: "I'll vote Natalya off because I don't trust her while she's with Randy."

Natalya: "Ok, I'd vote Randy, but I think that Kofi needs to go just because his perkiness is making me angry."

-Back outside-

"Ok, the votes are in, and when I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Triple H…Shawn….Kelly…Matt…Michelle…Maria…Randy…and Jeff."

Kofi looked a little surprised while Natalya looked terrified.

"Ok, Kofi and Natalya. One of you get the last smore. And that person is…"

Everyone was silent.

"Natalya." finished Jericho.

"YEAH! Whoooo!" she cheered excitedly. "Back another week, baby!"

"SO, what are you gonna take away from this, Kofi?" asked Chris.

"Some great times, mon! I'll be catching you all later!" he called to everyone.

"I'd hate to vote him off, because it could've been you." Shawn told Triple H.

"Really? You're lucky I didn't vote you off, either." HHH replied.

As they just glared at one another, Matt tried to break them up. "Guys? GUYS?" he called. "Shawn? Hunter?"

"Just leave them, dude." said Jeff. "They might stand there staring at each other all night, so why bother?"

"Yeah, they'll be fine." agreed Kelly with a giggle.


	18. Episode 18

Total WWE Island – Hot Rod Heart

Episode 18

"Yo, everyone! This is Y2J, Chris Jericho with yet another unpredictable week on TWI! Last week, Chef Big Show was

back to seek everyone in a wet game of Hide and Seek! Natalya decided to follow Randy, who didn't appreciate the

help that she was trying to offer. The result: Their arguing helped the Big Show to find them first! Meanwhile, Triple

H, Shawn, Matt, and Kofi decided to form an all dudes alliance, just to separate themselves from the girls, mostly

Maria, who barged into everyone's business! While hiding in the boat house, Maria interrupted another romantic

moment between Jeff and Kelly, which led to her getting kicked out. After Kofi and HHH argued about the dangerous

hiding spot they were in, they crashed to the ground, only to be caught by Big Show next. Later, Randy and Natalya

returned to the boat house and Natalya discovered where Shawn and Matt were still hiding, but Randy was the one

who ratted them out and took all the glory! Michelle almost knocked the Big Show unconscious with a kick to the

head, but after she and Maria reconciled their friendship, they were both sprayed by the Big Man next. Jeff and Kelly

had a second shot to share a kiss, but Big Show interrupted again! What a surprise. Later, after Matt tried to beat

the hell out of Randy, the two attempted to vote each other off during the Campfire of Truth, but three votes went

to Kofi, making him the next to be eliminated. This week, how long will Shawn and Triple H hold their little grudge

against one another? Will Natalya be done with Randy? And will Jeff and Kelly take a serious turn for the worst? Find

out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

It was lunchtime, and everyone was in the cafeteria…

"Are you gonna take that last piece of cake, Shawn?" asked Triple H. "Or are you gonna hide it for yourself?"

"Are you still mad about last time? Get over it, man." replied Shawn.

"No, I will NOT get over it! You didn't have to be a traitor to the rest of us!" he exclaimed.

"I'M a traitor? Ok, when we reformed DX a few years ago, WHO suddenly Pedigreed me into the ground?" HBK demanded.

"It was a present! It WAS your birthday, remember?" he asked.

"Of course I'd remember, you think I'd forget my own damn birthday?" Shawn snapped.

"Calm down! No need for hostility." HHH said slyly.

Shawn got angry for a second, but then broke into a smile. "Ok. You know, I just decided that maybe you should take the last piece of cake." he said.

"I knew you'd see it my way." HHH replied.

"Good." he replied, before smashing the cake in HHH's face. "Eat up, big boy." he said, walking off.

Hunter ate some of the frosting off of his face. "So, you want to play it like that, man? Ok, we'll just see about that." he said to himself.

Meanwhile…

"So, you two are BFF's again?" asked Kelly.

"Yep!" replied Michelle. "We decided that that fight was pretty pointless, so we just dropped everything that happened and made up!"

"And Kelly, Jeff, I'm sorry I kept interrupting you guys. I didn't realize how annoying I was." said Maria.

"You weren't annoying!" exclaimed Kelly.

"Yeah, you don't have to apologize to us. You didn't know." agreed Jeff.

"So, how are you feeling, Matt?" asked Michelle. "Everything ok with Mickie?"

"Yeah, everything's cool with us. She actually called me the other day to tell me how things were going where she is." he replied.

"You know, I've always wanted to know where everyone goes after they're eliminated." said Kelly.

"Oh yeah, I mean to tell you." said Michelle. "When John called me, he said that he and everyone else were staying at this really awesome hotel!"

"No kidding?" asked Jeff, surprised.

"Yep. Punky told me that Kane and Undertaker almost destroyed the whole place." replied Maria. "And Santino and the Glamazon were busy annoying everyone else."

"How's Candice doing?" asked Kelly.

"Mickie told me that she's still catfighting with Maryse." answered Matt.

"I swear, that bitch Maryse will never change." Michelle sighed.

At another table, Natalya joined Randy…

"Oh no, it's you again." Randy said dully.

"Well, nice to see you, too." she said sarcastically.

"What do you want?" he muttered.

"I have nobody else to hang out with! Melina ran off to who knows where, and I don't want to be on my own!" she replied.

"So, you have to tag along with me, huh?" he asked.

"Sure do! So, what do you want to do first?" asked Nattie.

"Jump off a cliff." Randy replied, burying his head in his arms.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the auditorium for your next challenge!" _announced Jericho.

A few minutes later, everyone met him there…

"Hey, gang! I bet you're wondering why I have all these tools and parts here with me today. Any thoughts today, Shawn?" Chris asked, taking out a wheelbarrow of materials.

"Yes. By any chance, do we get to harm you in any way with any of those tools?" he asked excitedly.

"Nice dreaming, dude." he replied. "Now, I brought out all this stuff because today's challenge is gonna be a two art bicycle race that I call, Tour de Howsaboutislapya!"

Everyone stared at him.

"Slap us?" Jeff questioned slowly.

"…Why?" asked Maria.

"Cause." he replied. "But the race is only part of the challenge. In order to race, you need a bike, so you'll also be making your own bikes with the materials here in this wheelbarrow. You guys start on that first, and I'll explain the rest of the rules later. Have fun and don't poke your own eye out with a screwdriver! My uncle did that once and my aunt Minnie never spoke to him again." he replied.

They looked at him again.

"Yeah, forget I said that." he muttered, heading off.

Later, everyone was working on their bikes, when Randy came up with another plan…

"Hey, Nattie, that bike you're making looks pretty good. I'm impressed." he told her.

"Aw, thanks. It's something I used to do in my spare time." she replied.

"Hey, we're friends, right?" he asked.

"Sure. You never actually admitted it to me until now." she replied.

"Well, you're a really good friend. I'm sorry I was a bit crabby earlier. I was just tired, I guess." replied Randy.

"It's no biggie." she replied, putting the finishing touches on her bike.

"And good friends would help others in need, right?" he continued.

"Yeah."

"So, I'm in need of a favor." he said.

"Shoot."

"Can I have your bike?" he asked quickly.

"Randy!" she exclaimed.

"Or can you at least build one for me? Please? I have absolutely no idea how to do this." he pleaded.

"All right. You can have this one, and I'll make myself another one." she sighed.

"Thanks, Nattie!" he exclaimed with a smile. "Just wait until this race begins." he muttered evilly.

Meanwhile…

"Jeff, your bike looks awesome!" exclaimed Kelly. "How'd you finish so fast?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know." he replied with a chuckle. "But enough about my bike, look at yours!"

"This thing? Aw, I'm not anywhere near as good as you." she replied.

"Yeah, you are! Your almost looks like a motorcycle, you know, one of those cruisers!" he exclaimed.

"Thanks! I'm really glad you like it." Kelly smiled.

Jeff smiled back. "No problem, Kel." he replied.

Soon after that, some bikes looked nice, while others didn't look so nice…

"Well, I see that some of you knew what you were doing." Jericho said flatly, inspecting the bikes. "Now, here's the twist. You made the bikes, but someone ELSE is going to ride them!"

"WHAT?" everyone demanded.

"That's right. Now part one of the race is going to go down that steep race track. The bike that crosses the finish line first, gets an advantage in the second round. Now that all the bikes are lined up, I'll assign you each a bike. Oh, and one more important thing. The person who crosses the finish line last at the end of round two, automatically gets eliminated from the competition." he explained.

Everyone gasped.

"That's not fair!" cried Michelle. "Shouldn't we vote like we always do?"

"Not today! Now when I call your name, go to the bike I tell you to go to. Natalya, you get Orton's bike." he said.

"Wow, the bike that was originally mine that I had to build for Randy. How nice." she said sarcastically.

"Jeff, you get Kelly's bike." Jericho continued.

"Sweet! I'm gonna dominate this one!" he exclaimed, giving Kelly a hug.

"I know you can do it, Jeff!" she smiled in reply.

"Shawn, you get Triple H's bike."

"Oh?" he asked, inspecting the bike. "Wh—WHY is there a chicken wing in the spokes?"

"Oops, how'd that get there?" HHH asked, tossing it away.

"Michelle, you get Matt's bike."

"Awesome!" she exclaimed. Then, when she got onto the bike, her seat dropped low. "Uh, Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Is the seat supposed to do that?"

"Uh, no." he chuckled nervously. "Just be careful with it and you should be fine…I hope."

"And Maria, you get Shawn's bike." finished Jericho.

"Whoa! You sure I can even ride this thing? Looks a little big." she replied.

"You'll get used to it. Just try your best to reach the pedals." Shawn told her.

Soon after that, everyone was at the starting line.

"Natalya, listen to me. You need to win this so that I can race in the second half. Then when I win, neither of us will get the boot tonight. Ok?" asked Randy.

"Gotcha. I'll make you proud." she smiled confidently.

"Jeff, I know that you can do this. You ride motocross all the time anyway, right?" asked Kelly.

"Sure do. So with that, your awesome bike, and your support, I'll win this race just for you." he smiled at her.

As a reply, she blushed and smiled back.

"If this poorly prepared bike injures me, this is all on your case." Shawn told HHH.

"Po—Poorly prepared? Dude, I copied this model from a magazine that I was reading!" he argued.

"Which one, Junkyard Weekly?" Shawn asked dully.

"Sure, yuk it up now. I just hope that poor Maria over here doesn't get whiplash or anything from that mess you call a bike!" he argued.

"MESS?" Shawn demanded.

"GUYS!" exclaimed Maria. "Please stop fighting! I'm getting a headache!"

"Ok, are you sure this thing won't hurt me, Matt?" asked Michelle.

"I can't make any promises, but I just have to say, watch yourself and I'm sure you'll last for more than 10 seconds." he replied.

"Thanks. I feel a lot better." Michelle said sarcastically.

"Ok, on your marks…get set…GO!" called Jericho.

Everyone sped off like the speed of light. Natalya was clearly in the lead, with Jeff right behind her. The bike Maria had was way too big for her, and she couldn't reach the pedals.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, flying down the road.

"COME ON, NATTIE! DON'T LET HER TAKE THE LEAD!" coached Randy.

Natalya heard him and sped faster down the steep hill.

"YOU'RE ALMOST THERE, JEFF, YOU CAN DO IT!" coached Kelly.

Jeff was happy just hearing her voice and nearly took the lead.

Shawn and Michelle were last, and that was just the beginning…

Michelle's bike was riding itself in circles and there was nothing that she could do about it!

"Whooooooooaaaaa! Matt, stop this thing!" she cried.

Then, he ran up and pushed the bike in the right direction. Not long after that, she got steered into the woods and crashed.

"Michelle!" called Matt. "You all right?"

She staggered out of the woods. "I'm fine, but your bike isn't. Sorry." she replied.

Shawn wasn't doing much better with HHH's bike…

"Wh-WHAT THE?" he exclaimed as chicken bones flew out from the spokes of the bike. "HUNTER, YOURE GONNA GET IT!"

HHH smiled. "Hey, you offered me some cake earlier, and now I'm offering you some chicken! WORKS BOTH WAYS!" he smiled.

While Shawn was distracted, he and the bike crashed into a tree. "…Ow." he said finally.

Natalya, Jeff, and Maria were all neck and neck, until Maria could no longer control her bike.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she cried, riding straight into a lake!

*SPLASH!*

"I'm ok!" she called, poking out her head from the water.

The finish line was up ahead, and nobody knew who'd win.

"ALMOST THERE, NATTIE!" called Randy.

"YOU'VE GOT THIS ONE, JEFF!" called Kelly.

Natalya and Jeff glared at one another as they both reached the finish line. Then, Nattie sped a bit faster and crossed the finish line first!

"Impressive." Jeff told her.

"Thank you." she replied with a smile.

Randy ran to her. "Great job, Nattie! Now all I have to do is win the second part of the race and we're in the clear!" he exclaimed.

"Jeff, you did awesome!" Kelly smiled.

"Thanks, Kel. I really wanted to win for you, though. I'm kinda bummed about that." he replied.

"You don't have to be. Either way, I'm proud of you!" she said, hugging him.

Round 2…

"All right, gang. Part 2 of the race will take place through the forest. But just a warning: The forest can either be your friend or your enemy. Make sure nothing kills you out there." said Jericho. "Ok, Randy, you ride Natalya's bike, Kelly, you ride Jeff's bike, HHH, you ride Maria's bike, and Matt, you ride Michelle's bike. LET THE INJURIES BEGIN!" he cheered.

Everyone was at the starting line.

"Nattie, I need you to do me another favor." said Randy.

"Sure."

"You know how the forest is pretty crappy, right? I mean, there are obstacles everywhere." he continued.

"Yeah."

"Could you please clear a path for me? And when everyone else is coming, mess the path up again so that they'll mess up." he said with a laugh.

"So, I'll camouflage myself in the forest and do the job. You won't be disappointed, Randy." she said, sneaking off into the woods.

"Good girl. Hahahaha!" he laughed.

"Ok, Kel, you supported me, so I'll return the favor. You can win this race with flying colors, I totally believe in you." Jeff said sincerely.

"You rock for this, Jeff." she smiled back.

"Uh, Maria? I don't think that this bike'll fit me." HHH said, squished in between the handlebars and the pedals.

"Sorry! Just try and make it work, ok?" she smiled weakly.

"Let's hope that he doesn't break it. If you know what I mean." Shawn smirked.

"Who asked you?" Hunter demanded. "I'll run over your foot with this thing!"

"Just you try. And don't forget to pick up that trail of chicken bones that was left behind. Litterer." he muttered back.

"Ha! That's not a word!" HHH called back.

"Well, at least your bike looks a hell of a lot better than mine." Matt told Michelle.

"Thanks! Just be careful. I don't want you to get hurt like I did." she replied.

"Don't worry. If I do, I'll just sue Jericho instead." he replied.

"Ok, you guys, remember. Whoever crosses the finish line last, gets the boot tonight. Ready…Set…GO!" shouted Jericho.

Everyone sped through the forest like the speed of light once again.

Natalya hid in a bush, waiting for Randy to come. "Come on, come on! Hurry before I get run over!"

Sure enough, Randy was in the lead and sped her way, and Natalya quickly cleared the path as if it were as good as new.

"Good job, Nattie!" he called to her.

Then, everyone else was headed the same way, and Natalya quickly messed up the path again. "Hahaha." she laughed.

Kelly caught the damage first and jumped the bike over a huge dirt pile. "WOOOOOOOOOO!" she cheered in excitement.

Matt and HHH caught the same obstacle, and jumped over the dirt pile, too. "WHOA!" they both exclaimed.

Kelly landed with no problem and kept riding on, but the same couldn't be said for Matt and HHH.

They handed, but their bikes got stuck together.

"What the—" began Matt.

"Try to pull your bike apart, man!" cried Hunter. They both tried, but it was no use.

"Are you kidding me with this right now?" Matt demanded. "How are either of us gonna win?"

"Work together. Come on." HHH said, leading the way.

Meanwhile, Randy was way in the lead, and had Natalya clear some more space for him along the path.

"You guys just TRY and catch up to me! HAHAHAHAHA!" Randy called back.

Then, Kelly appeared, and sped to catch up to him. "Yeah, I'll just try." she mocked.

Randy growled and Natalya tried to sabotage her by messing up her path, but Kelly caught it and swerved around the mess.

"Damn!" cried Nattie.

Matt and HHH arrived next and ran right through the mess in the middle of the path.

*BOOM!*

"Aw, COME ON!" snapped Matt.

"Now the wheels are getting stuck!" cried Hunter.

"The finish line's up ahead. If we keep trying, we might make it." he replied.

"All right, when I count to three, pedal as fast as you can. 1…2…3!" called HHH.

Both guys furiously tried to pedal, but instead of the bikes moving, they collapsed and fell apart.

"Nice." Matt said dully.

Meanwhile, Randy and Kelly were neck and neck, and the finish line was up ahead. Who would win?

"You're cheating again, aren't you?" demanded Kelly.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Now eat dust, woman!" he said, revving up closer to the finish line.

"NO!" she cried, catching up to him.

Everyone watched anxiously as they approached the finish line.

"It's all you, Kelly!" called Jeff.

Natalya emerged from the bushes. "You can do this, Randy!" she cried.

Randy was ahead one second, and Kelly was ahead the next. But by an inch, Randy crossed the finish line first.

"YES!" he cheered.

Everyone else looked shocked.

"NO!" Kelly cried, shocked. "I lost! I'm—I'm going home tonight." she said on the verge of tears.

Jericho joined them. "I'm afraid you're right, Kel. Randy won, Matt and HHH crashed, so technically, you came in last. I'm sorry." he said.

"NO!" Jeff cried angrily. "You gotta change the rules! You can't send her home, it just isn't fair!"

"I told you, I can't change anything! Now Kelly's going home tonight and you all have to deal with it." he replied.

"Please, Jericho." said Michelle. "Can't you just let us vote? Kelly doesn't deserve to go!"

"Yeah, do you know how much that'll hurt us?" asked Matt. "Especially Jeff?"

"I'm not changing my mind." Jericho said, crossing his arms.

"Come on, Jericho, have a heart for once in your life, will ya?" demanded Shawn.

"Yeah, you can't break those two up! They've been through a lot together." agreed HHH.

"If you really had a considerate bone in your body, you'd let her stay!" added Maria.

"For the last time…NO! Rules are rules and I need to stick with them! Now Kelly, the yacht will be here soon, so make sure you say your goodbyes." Jericho said, heading off.

"We can't let him do this to you." Jeff said seriously. "You can't leave!"

A tear rolled down her face. "You guys are the best. But I don't think there's anything else we can do. Jericho made it clear. I have to go."

Later that night, the yacht was here, and it was time for her to say goodbye…

"Ready to go?" asked Jericho.

"Can I at least say goodbye to my friends again?" she asked, glaring at him.

Jericho sighed. "Make it quick!"

"Kelly, I'm gonna miss you!" Maria said, hugging her. "I SO didn't mean to interrupt you and Jeff, and now you're being separated anyway! I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Maria. You didn't mean it." she replied.

"We've had so much fun together. Just like it was with Mickie, it's not gonna be the same without you, either." Michelle said, hugging her.

"It's not gonna be the same without you guys." Kelly replied.

"I know that we were on different teams for most of the time, but you've brung light into this dull place. I'll miss you, Kelly." said Shawn.

"Aw, thank you! I'll miss you too, Shawn." she replied, smiling.

"Well, what a ride it's been, huh?" asked HHH. "Make sure you call us now and again, ok?"

"Totally!"

"Kelly, you, me, and Jeff had so many adventures together." said Matt. "I wish I could punch out Jericho to make him change his mind about you leaving."

She laughed. "That would've been nice to see. But anyway, Mickie and I will be the first ones to call you guys." she said seriously. "Count on it."

Finally, she caught up with a devastated Jeff, who was looking out at the view. He turned to her.

"...I can't leave you, I just can't!" she began crying.

He wrapped his arms around her. "I know. Kelly, you mean so much to me. It's gonna be tough lasting the rest of this competition without my best friend." he said quietly.

She looked up at him. "Jeff, are you crying? Is my fearless daredevil crying?" she smiled jokingly.

He chuckled. "I'd hate to admit it, but I am." he said, getting misty eyes.

"It's all right. I'll cry with you." she replied, gazing at him.

Then, Jericho broke them up and escorted her towards the yacht. "It's time." he said.

"Jeff!" she cried, looking back at him.

He ran to catch up with her, needing to tell her how he really felt towards her before it was too late. "Kelly!" he called back.

When she was almost to the yacht, she slipped away from Jericho and ran back to him. Jeff caught her and then, they FINALLY shared the most passionate kiss that either of them could imagine!

Everyone back at the campfire cheered for them.

"About time!" called Triple H.

"Finally." Kelly sighed happily.

"Yeah, ironic that it had to happen on the last day we'd be together here." Jeff replied.

"I guess it was meant to be this way." she agreed.

"Kelly, it's really time now!" Jericho said impatiently.

They both sighed. As she climbed into the yacht, she took his hands and said, "I want you to stay in the game for me, ok? Stay strong like you've always been and don't ever give up."

He nodded.

As the yacht sailed away, they slipped out of each other's reach.

Before it was too late, Jeff took off his necklace and tossed it to Kelly.

"I LOVE YOU, KEL!" he called to her.

She looked shocked and happy as tears of joy ran down her face. Kelly put on his necklace, took off her charm bracelet, and tossed it back to him. "I LOVE YOU TOO, JEFF!" she called back as he caught it.

As the yacht sailed away, Jeff sadly headed back towards camp.

"Jeff, you ok man?" asked HHH.

"Yeah, you want to talk or something?" asked Shawn.

"No thanks. If you guys don't mind, I'd just like some time alone for a while." he replied.

"Sure, take all the time you need." said Michelle.

"And if you ever need anyone, we're here for you." Maria smiled.

He mustered up a smile in return. "Thanks, you guys." he said as he headed back to camp.

"Is he gonna be all right?" asked Michelle.

"He will. He just needs a little time." Matt replied.


	19. Episode 19

Total WWE Island – Thrills, Chills, and Killers!

Episode 19

"Hellooo, TV Land! This is the codebreaker, Y2J Chris Jericho with a scary good week of TWI coming up! Last week,

everyone competed in a two part motocross race, where they also had to build their own bikes! Shawn and Triple H

were still feuding, and their handmade bikes weren't any better. Jeff and Kelly shared some encouraging words,

while a conniving Randy made Natalya do all his dirty work for him as a 'friend'. When the race began, Maria joined

Natalya and Jeff in the lead, while Shawn and Michelle had a few bike-nechal difficulties, haha. Round one was close,

but Randy's plan worked as Natalya crossed the finish line first. Round two saw Kelly and Randy neck and neck this

time, with Natalya continuing Randy's dirty work. Fortunately for Kelly, she didn't fall for any tricks. But it was a

different story for Matt and HHH, as they crashed and their bikes collided! It was close, but Randy crossed the finish

line first, automatically sending Kelly out of the competition. It was the most emotional farewell for everyone,

especially Jeff. But after saying 'I love you' to one another, it was quite a happy ending for them after all. This week,

will Shawn and Triple H continue degrading each other to the point of insanity? Will Natalya ever find out Randy's

true colors? And will Jeff change after the elimination of the one he loved most? Find out this week on Total…WWE…

Island!"

* * *

After Kelly's elimination, a depressed Jeff was in the guys' bunk room, thinking about her…

"I love you so much, Kel." he said, gazing at her charm bracelet.

Then, Maria barged into the room and suddenly gave him a hug.

"Jeff, I know you said that you wanted to be alone, but you need a hug!" she exclaimed.

Michelle came in after her. "Maria! He said that he wanted some time to himself! Just wait for a little while." she said, tugging her away.

"No, it's ok." he said. "I could use some friends right now."

They both smiled.

"You and Kelly made such a cute couple." said Michelle. "I'm glad you guys said that you loved each other."

"Yeah, I just had to tell her before it was too late." he sighed. "I'll miss her so much. I'll miss holding her in my arms, telling her how beautiful and awesome she is, and just hanging out with her."

"...Could you use a hug now?" asked Maria.

He smiled. "Sure, Ria."

While the three shared a group hug, Matt came in and said, "Hey, you guys. Jericho's putting on a horror movie for us to watch. You want to join us?"

"Horror movie? It's Halloween tonight, isn't it?" asked Jeff.

"Halloween?" the girls asked, surprised.

"Yeah! I guess that with all the craziness going on lately, we all lost track of time." replied Matt.

"Jeff, you're seeing the movie with us." Maria said, helping him up.

"I don't want to." he said tiredly.

"You are. You need to be with your friends at a time like this!" exclaimed Michelle.

"Nothing that any of you try to do can make me happy again." he replied. "Unless you bring Kelly back."

"We all miss her, Jeff." said Michelle. "So if you're depressed, we're gonna be depressed."

"Don't be like that, guys." he replied as they left.

A few minutes later, everyone came to the auditorium for the movie…

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jericho laughed in a mock scary voice, wearing a cape. "Hey, dudes and ghouls, ready for a Halloween treat?"

"I'd like to treat you by shoving you through that TV glass!" Shawn said with a smile. "That'll be all the Halloween for me."

"Such biting words, Shawn Michaels. But wasn't I the one who shoved YOU through a glass screen once?" he asked.

"It's called revenge, you idiot." Shawn muttered.

"Anyway, we're gonna watch my personal favorite, Friday the 13th." Jericho smiled.

"Awesome! That's my favorite movie of all time!" exclaimed Matt.

"Great! So try not to pee your pants if you get too scared." he replied to the gang.

"Yeah, Randy." agreed Triple H. "You got your Depends on you?"

"Shut up!" he snapped back.

"Hey, Randy." Natalya said, sitting next to him.

"For the last time, stop following me!" he snapped.

"No." she smiled. "I see you're feeling crabby again. But why? Another member of the Goody Goody gang left yesterday, so you should be happy."

"I am happy about that. I just don't know why you keep following me." replied Randy.

"Because you like me and you know it. You just won't admit it." she smiled.

"Gimme a break." he muttered.

As the movie played, Maria looked terrified, Michelle looked a little nervous, Matt looked excited, Jeff looked emotionless, Triple H and Shawn were trying to shove each other out of the way, Natalya kept hovering over Randy, and Randy looked like he wanted to be tortured instead.

Later…

"Man, that movie gets better and better every time I see it!" exclaimed Matt.

"But you've seen it over 500 times!" exclaimed Maria.

"575, thank you very much." he corrected.

All of a sudden, a balloon filled with something fell on top of Maria's head.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" she screamed with some slimy stuff dripping down her.

"Whoa! What the—" began Shawn.

"Hey, somebody finally walked into my trap! Yay!" cheered Natalya.

"TRAP? What just splashed all over me?" Maria demanded.

"Chicken fat." she replied.

"Oh, GOD!" she screamed, running away.

"Wait, where are you going?" asked Matt.

"I need a shower!" she exclaimed.

"No! It's Halloween, it's pitch black out here, and we really shouldn't get separated." he warned.

"We'll be all right on our own, Matt." said Michelle. "What could go wrong?"

"Being an avid horror movie fan, I know that there are three things you should never do on a night like this. 1: Never wander off on your own. 2: Never wander into the WOODS on your own, and 3: If you are caught making out in the woods, you're practically finished." he explained.

"But I NEED a shower!" cried Maria. "I'm sorry, but I gotta go! I'll be back." she said, leaving.

"I think we need more food around here, so I'll look around for that." Michelle said, heading off next.

"I'm hungry. I'm gonna go and look for an ice cream truck." announced Shawn.

"Wait, man!" cried HHH.

"What?"

"I...I need to use the men's room." he announced.

Shawn just looked at him. "Really. You're a grown man. You don't need me to watch you while you're in there." he said dully.

"No! I mean, Matt has a point! If I go off on my own, someone might attack me! I just need you to stand by the door till I'm done." replied Hunter.

"Nothing's gonna happen to you! What we watched was just a movie, so settle down." he replied.

"Shawn, please. I just want to be on the safe side." HHH pleaded.

He sighed. "Fine! Don't cry about it." he replied. "Let's go."

"Fine, you guys! Don't say I didn't warn you!" Matt called after everyone.

"Randy, what do you want to do now?" asked Natalya.

"I want to get away from you. So listen to my words. Do…not…follow…me. Got that?" he asked.

"Yeah, like I ever listen to anyone." she scoffed.

"AGH!" Randy cried out as he wandered out into the woods.

"Wait for me!" she called after him.

"Well, looks like those two just broke rules 1 through 3." Jeff said dryly.

-Hidden Camera-

Jericho: "Ok, here's the deal. Nobody knows this, but this is really a challenge to see who could last the longest in a horror movie. There will be a madman on the loose!"

Big Show (wearing a Jason Voorhees costume): "And that's me!"

Jericho: "Chef Big Show here will scare everyone one by one, and basically the guy or girl who freaks out the most is the one who gets the boot! So, Big Show, go find your victims!"

Big Show: "And I thought that the hide and seek contest was fun!"

Jericho: "This is gonna be the best trick that Halloween could offer them. Hahahahaha!"

-Back outside-

Meanwhile, Maria was in the middle of taking a shower, and neither HHH nor HBK knew that she was in there…

"Make it quick man, I'm starving." said Shawn.

"I'll be out in a sec. And seriously, man, you think there'd be an ice cream truck in the middle of nowhere?" Hunter asked before he went inside.

"…And that's my cue to go find the sweet stuff." Shawn said, going towards the woods.

As HHH went inside, he whipped open the curtain and…

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Maria.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed HHH.

"GET OUT!" she cried, grabbing a towel to cover herself.

"Sorry!" he cried, speeding out and slamming the door. Then, he smiled a little and chuckled. "Heh heh. What a babe. I-I mean, I have a wife at home! Shawn, what do I do? SHAWN!" he cried, running off. "WHY'D YOU ABANDON ME?"

In another part of the woods, Randy tried to escape Natalya…

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed.

"Admit it! You like me!" she called back.

"Shut up!" he snapped.

"Stop trying to cover it up, Rand. It's a known fact that a guy likes you if he acts like he wants nothing to do with the girl." she replied.

"I'm not covering up anything! I'm not ACTING like I want nothing to do with you, because it's TRUE that I want nothing to do with you!" he exclaimed.

"Kiss me." she suddenly said.

Randy looked shocked. "What—NO!" he cried.

He tossed a branch at her.

"Ha! Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me!" she sang.

"You're sick, you know that? SICK!" he demanded, pointing at her.

She chased him all around the forest. "Come on, let's make out! You know you want to!"

"Get away from me!" he cried.

Then, she tackled him down to the ground. "You can't escape me." she smiled, pinning him down by the shoulders.

Randy's eyes pierced into hers. "Stalker." he said darkly.

As he tried to escape, she pinned him down to the ground and kissed him!

"AAH!" he screamed.

Next, a shadow drew over them.

Randy looked up in surprise, while Natalya slowly turned around and looked up at the figure.

Big Show, disguised, stared down at them, aiming his switchblade towards them.

"J-Jason? Jason Voorhees?" Natalya shuddered.

"No way…" Randy said, just as shocked.

He stepped closer to them, and they both got up and slowly backed away.

"Ok, listen! If you're going to take anyone…take her." Randy said, pointing to Natalya.

Then, he swung the blade, slicing open Randy's shirt.

Randy and Nattie looked at one another before speeding as fast as they could out of the woods, screaming the whole way.

Meanwhile, Michelle was still looking for food, until the killer targeted her next…

"It'd be so much nicer if John was here searching with me." she said. "I miss him so much."

She found some berries, but then Big Show caught her next. Michelle whipped around and saw him staring right at her.

"Oh…my…God. O-Ok, please don't hurt me, all right?" she pleaded. "You wouldn't hurt women, would you?"

Then, he flung the blade towards her!

"AAAAHH!" she shrieked, dodging the blade just in time.

The madman retrieved it and then stalked after her.

"NO! Please don't kill me!" she screamed.

After that, he went from walking to running after her.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she screamed.

Then, she stopped and threw a clod of dirt in his face. Not affected by it, he brushed himself off as she sped back to camp. "GUYYYYYSS!" she screamed.

In another part of camp, Shawn continued looking for ice cream, but would he be caught next?

"…Seriously, Hunter can take care of himself." he muttered. "It's just a little dark out, that's all."

Then, he looked around him.

"Darker than usual—but I'm not scared." he finished.

He kept walking until he heard music from a distance.

Shawn smiled. "Mr. Softee?" he asked excitedly. "I'M COMING, MR. SOFTEE!" he cried, speeding ahead.

He almost bumped into some trees, but he didn't care. Then when the music was getting louder, he bumped into a hard structure.

HBK looked up. "Glory be! A real ice cream truck! And Hunter thought that I was crazy!" he exclaimed. "Ok, if anyone's in there, I'd like uh…oh, I'd like a Spongebob ice cream bar, please."

The dark inside of the ice cream truck was silent.

"Anyone in there?" he asked.

Silence.

"…Ok, am I gonna have to go in there myself?"

Then, a hand came out and handed him his ice cream.

"Thanks!" he exclaimed, putting his money on the counter.

As he walked away, he felt that something wasn't right about what just happened and turned around.

There, the madman stood over him, staring down at him.

"You—You were just in that movie we saw earlier." he said nervously.

He slowly nodded and then whipped out his switchblade.

"No…you wouldn't!" he exclaimed.

He nodded again and swung the blade towards him.

"I guess you would. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Shawn screamed, speeding away from the scene.

The madman tossed the blade towards him, but it missed and pinned Shawn's cowboy hat to a tree.

"Come on, not my hat!" he cried, getting it back.

The madman began charging after him again.

"HUNTER!" Shawn cried as he ran.

Meanwhile, Maria was still in the shower when someone approached her again…

"Hmmmm hmmmmm…" she hummed.

Suddenly, the curtain flew open!

"All right, knock it off, Trip—" she began, turning around to find the madman staring at her.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, grabbing her towel again.

He slowly approached her.

"NO! You're from that movie! This can't be happening right now!" she cried.

He continued approaching her.

"Eat soap, JERK!" she cried, shoving a bar of soap in his mouth, before she sped away.

Back at the auditorium, Matt and Jeff were tossing rocks into a bucket to pass the time, but who would be caught next?

"If everyone else had just listened to me, they'd be safe here instead of who knows where!" exclaimed Matt.

"Some Halloween this is turning out to be." Jeff said dully.

Matt saw that his brother was still depressed, so he said, "Hey. Will it cheer you up if we pretend that bucket over there is Randy's head and we can throw rocks at it?"

"Sure, why not?" he replied flatly.

He grabbed a HUGE rock and fired it towards the bucket, flattening it!

"Whoa." Matt said, surprised. "I know it's hard, dude. You know how I felt when Mickie had to leave, but I'm still in this contest for her. And you're still in for Kelly, right?"

"Yeah, I promised that I'd stay for her." agreed Jeff.

"There you go. And don't worry, you'll see her again." he replied. "So are you gonna be ok?"

"Eventually, but not yet." he said, looking down. "But thanks for the chat man, I appreciate it."

He smiled. "No problem, dude."

Then, their campfire suddenly got worse and the flames leapt out towards them!

"Whoa!" cried the boys.

"Damn it! I'll get water!" Jeff cried, rushing away.

"I'm a lone wolf now." Matt said, facing the blaze.

As if that wasn't bad enough, a shadow grew from behind him.

"Jeff, that was quick." he said, turning around to find the madman staring down at him.

"YOU'RE not my brother!" he cried.

The madman nodded and swung his blade towards him.

"Ok, you may have caught everyone else, but you are NOT gonna catch me!" he exclaimed, tossing rock after rock at him.

The madman didn't budge and kept stalking towards him.

Matt then threw the bent up bucket towards him, but no luck. "Why won't you go down, damn it?"

Next, he found a random fish and slapped him across the face with it. "…Sorry." he said casually.

As the madman was about to strike again, Matt sped in another direction saying, "I really oughta listen to my own warnings."

Soon after that, he found Randy, Natalya, Shawn, HHH, Michelle, and Maria all at a deserted part of the camp, hiding in a tent…

"You guys lived?" Matt asked, surprised.

"Barely!" exclaimed Michelle. "That madman almost maimed me when I was trying to find food!"

"And he caught me in the shower! After Hunter here did." Maria exclaimed, glaring at him.

"It was an accident! And Shawn, why the hell did you ditch me back there? Don't you know that you're not supposed to abandon a man while he's taking a piss?" he demanded.

"Dude." Randy cringed.

"I'm sorry, but I was starving." replied Shawn. "And when I did find an ice cream truck, the madman almost shish kabobed me!"

"Guys, rule number 4: The cowboy is the ultimate target for a killer after the blonde girl." Matt said, while Shawn and Michelle looked at one another.

-Hidden Camera-

Shawn: "He could've told me BEFORE my hat got attacked."

-Back outside-

"And he attacked Randy and I while we were making out!" cried Natalya.

"Bleh." Michelle replied, making a face.

"I didn't make out with you! You were all over me!" he argued.

"Too bad that madman DIDN'T attack you." replied Matt. "Then we'd celebrate."

"I could always lead him back to you." Randy replied, glaring at him.

"This is no time for fighting, you guys!" exclaimed Michelle. "Jason Voorhees is after us, and we need to do something about it."

Then, the madman himself poked his head inside of the tent.

"OH NO, THERE HE IS NOW!" screamed Maria.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" they all screamed in horror.

"L-Leave us alone!" she cried.

All of a sudden, the madman began laughing.

Everyone turned pale.

"Wait a damn minute here." Matt said seriously. "That laugh…"

Shawn ripped the hockey mask off, revealing the Big Show laughing hysterically.

"BIG SHOW?" they asked, shocked.

"YOU were the madman?" Natalya demanded.

"Gotcha." she smiled. "Man, you should've seen the looks on your faces!"

"What the HELL'S going on here?" demanded Randy. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"I guess you could say that. Hey, Chris, I got em!" he called.

"Jericho? What's going on?" Michelle asked.

"Ok, you see, I had Big Show here dress up as the madman because you all just completed a challenge to see if anyone could survive a horror movie." he revealed.

Everyone looked shocked.

"And frankly, you all couldn't survive a real horror movie if your lives depended on it. No pun intended." said Big Show.

Nobody said a word.

"Ok, you guys can calm down now." said Jericho.

Silence.

"Gang?" he asked.

"L-Look." Maria whimpered, pointing behind them.

Big Show and Jericho turned around to find the REAL Jason Voorhees staring down at them!

"Oh…my…God." they both uttered.

"So…this is the REAL killer…who we mocked…RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Jericho screamed.

Everyone scrambled out of the tent and hid behind a tree, but the madman was no longer chasing them.

"Where'd he go?" asked Michelle.

"He's going towards the mess hall!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Oh, no. Jeff's still in there!" Matt cried, worried.

"What's he doing in there by himself?" cried Maria.

"He ran in there to get water, and he's still trapped inside. We gotta save him before the madman gets to him!" exclaimed Matt. "Let's go!"

As everyone headed for the mess hall, the madman arrived first, and closed and locked the door.

"NO!" cried Michelle.

They tried to open the door, but it was no use.

"How are we gonna get him out?" asked HHH.

"Let's call him from the window!" replied Matt.

Inside, Jeff was headed for the door, when he caught the madman standing right in front of him.

He looked outside and saw the gang's faces pressed against the glass, calling for him, and saw Big Show in the exact same outfit.

Jeff sighed. "So, you're the real dude, huh?" he asked casually.

He stared down at him.

"I bet you're mad, huh? I mean, Big Show over there mocked you. You're not gonna take that lying down, are you?" he asked.

No reply.

"You're not gonna do anything? Well…you're a coward." he continued.

The madman grew angrier and angrier with him.

Outside…

"What the hell's he doing?" asked Randy. "Why's he having a conversation with him?"

"Jeff, get out of there!" Maria cried, worried.

"This could be so good for ratings, but not so good for a lawsuit pinned against me." Jericho said, worried.

Back inside…

"I just called you a coward and you're still standing there? Come on, I dare you to attack me." he said.

The madman aimed his blade towards him.

"Oh what, are you gonna chop my head off? Cut me in half? Jab me in the heart? Just you try." he continued.

Then, the madman struck, but Jeff ducked and ran behind him. The killer whipped around, only to be met with a dropkick to the face, courtesy of the Rainbow Haired Warrior. Dazed, he stood up and charged towards him, but Jeff beat him to the punch and clotheslined him to the ground.

"Come ON!" Jeff cried. "I'm in a bad mood as it is and I just want to finish you off!"

The madman slowly got up, grabbed his blade, and tried to attack Jeff with it, but missed again. When he wasn't looking, Jeff suddenly delivered a Twist of Fate to him, sending him crashing to the ground. And to finish, he climbed up to the top of a high shelf, leapt off, and delivered a picture perfect Swanton Bomb, knocking the madman out cold! After that, he joined everyone else outside.

"…What?" he asked.

Everyone stared at him, shocked.

"Dude…you OWNED him!" exclaimed Matt.

"How could you not be afraid of him?" asked Michelle.

"I'm bummed out enough as it is, so I'm not gonna let some lunatic bother me." he replied with a shrug.

"That was awesome! So,…that madman's not gonna get up and kill us, is he?" Triple H asked nervously.

Everyone looked at him.

"Ok, maybe I freaked out a little too much tonight." he said.

"A little?" asked Shawn.

"Well, that was quite a show!" exclaimed Jericho. "I'm not going to get sued, and one of you gets to go home tonight!"

"Whoa, really?" asked Jeff.

"Yep. This was a challenge to see who could survive a horror movie, and apparently you were the only one who could." he replied. "Now as for the rest of you….I believe we all know who was the most afraid."

Everyone looked at HHH.

"ME?" he cried, surprised.

"Dude, you didn't even run into the madman and ended up nearly pissing your pants!" exclaimed Randy.

"Oh. Aw, damn it!" he pouted. "Ah, well, what happens, happens."

"No hard feelings, dude. We'll miss you." said Jericho.

"Thanks. Believe it or not, I'll actually miss this place." said HHH. "And some of you guys managed to get my blood pressure up there, but I'll miss everyone except for Randy and Nattie."

"Hmph!" Natalya scoffed.

"Hey, Hunter." said Shawn.

"Yo?"

"I'll miss you, buddy." he said sincerely, giving him a hug.

"Right back at you, HBK. You know, let's forget about that argument we had, all right? It's pointless."

"Ok. Oh, and that reminds me." Shawn said, taking out a chicken wing. "I found this on the ice cream truck. Weird, I know, but I figured that you'd want it, so here you go."

HHH quickly ate it. "Thanks, man! Well, yacht's here. I'll see you guys when I see ya." he said.

"Aw, group hug everyone!" Maria exclaimed, hugging him first.

Everyone else joined in, and Maria dragged Randy and Natalya in the hug, too.

"I...hate...hugging." Randy said through clenched teeth.

"I hugged you before." said Natalya.

"And that's why I got the hives." he said, glaring at her.


	20. Episode 20

Total WWE Island – Hunt or Be Hunted

Episode 20

"Hey, everyone! Y2J, Chris Jericho here with another exciting episode of TWI coming right up! Last week, Jeff was

still depressed over Kelly Kelly's elimination, so maybe a nice Halloween horror movie could cheer him up! After the

movie, Matt informed everyone to stick together during a scary night like that one, or else a madman might attack!

Apparently, no one believed it, and went off on their own anyway. Nobody knew this, though, but there was a REAL

madman on the loose! But it was really Chef Big Show, haha. Meanwhile, Triple H caught Maria in the nude and he

ran outta there, like a bat out of hell. I think he liked what he saw, though. Hope his wife wasn't watching that.

Anyways, in the woods, Randy tried to escape Natalya, who desperately wanted to get her hands on him, and she

sealed the deal with a kiss! But the madman caught them, chasing the two out of the woods like crying little babies.

Next was Michelle, who was just trying to find some food. She got rid of the madman with a dirt clod to the face, but

it didn't stop him from attacking Shawn next! After almost slicing him with the blade, maybe HBK needed Hunter's

help after all. The next victim was Maria, who was caught in the nude again by the madman, and she literally

retaliated by washing his mouth out with soap and headed for the hills. Matt was the next victim after Jeff escaped

to the mess hall to get water. He tried to fight off the madman on his own, but he didn't budge. After it was revealed

that Big Show was the madman, the REAL madman confronted Jeff back at the mess hall! The gang looked on as a

raging mad Jeff kicked the madman's ass and finished him off for good! Our friend Triple H ended up getting the boot

that night, though, only because he freaked out the most. This week, we're down to 7 campers! Who will get the

boot? Find out this week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Everyone was headed for the auditorium for the day's challenge, and Natalya was still getting on Randy's last nerve…

"Saved another week, eh, Randy?" she asked him.

"And you're STILL talking to me." he said, annoyed.

"For goodness sakes, cheer up, will you? We made it this far!" she exclaimed.

"I made it this far! You got chased away by the cops and disappeared for like, 5 weeks!" he replied.

"And now I'm back and better than ever!" she said happily. "And that's the best news of all."

"Best news, my ass." he muttered.

Later…

"Well, welcome to another exciting day at TWI!" exclaimed Jericho. "This is the beginning of the end…of the competition. Congrats for making it to the top 7!"

"WHOOO!" everyone cheered.

"Hey, that means after one of us wins, you get to be tossed in the river in a celebratory fashion, right?" Shawn asked excitedly.

"No. I'm Y2J. Nobody can ever shove me anywhere." he replied.

"That's what YOU think." Shawn smirked.

"Anyways, today's challenge is gonna be interesting. You are all going to be hunters!" he announced.

"But Triple H left already." said Maria.

"No, I mean you're all going to be hunting for animals. Now—" he continued.

"Come on!" interrupted Michelle. "I already told you that I love animals! I can't hunt them!"

"You're not actually going to hunt them. Your job is to catch the animal that I tell you to catch. Whoever successfully brings back their animal safe and alive, wins a specialized dinner especially for them!" he exclaimed.

"Sweet! So at least one of us gets a break from the regular crap they serve here." replied Jeff.

"Well, I'm not sure if Chef Big Show would be too happy to hear that, but yeah! Now I'll assign you all an animal to catch, and then you're on your own. Maria, you get a chipmunk." announced Jericho.

"Aww! I love chipmunks!" she exclaimed.

"Matt, you have to catch a beaver."

"As long as they don't bite off my hand, I'm cool with it." he replied.

"Shawn, you get a raccoon."

"Wait, don't those have rabies?" he demanded.

"Yep."

"So, you're assigning me an animal that could POISON me?" he cried.

"Yep!" Jericho smiled.

"I really hate you." Shawn said darkly.

"I know. Anyway, Michelle, you get a frog."

"Sounds easy!" she exclaimed.

"Orton, you have to catch a bear—" began Chris.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" he demanded. "They get the easy animals and I get a damn BEAR?"

"Nothing's easy around here." Shawn said, crossing his arms.

"Natalya, you must catch a deer." he continued.

"No sweat! I've lived among them, so I know all their moves!" she exclaimed.

"Ooook…anyways, and finally, Jeff, you have to catch a duck." he finished.

"Fun times." he said sarcastically. "But somehow I have the feeling that something will go horribly wrong. Then again, what else is new?"

Jericho frowned. "Well, thanks for downing my day!"

"No problem!" he exclaimed.

Soon after that, everyone was out and the challenge was on!

Jeff and Randy both needed a net, and grabbed the same one.

"Come on man, I need it!" exclaimed Jeff.

"I DO!" Randy cried. "You only have to catch a duck. I need to catch a BEAR! You tell the difference!"

"But you can't even catch a bear with this little thing! You're gonna end up getting your ass eaten!" Jeff argued.

"I said, I need the goddamn net." he said through clenched teeth.

"No, you need a miracle." Jeff replied.

"Let GO!" Randy shouted.

"Hey, is that Edge?" he pointed out.

Randy whipped around. "WHERE? I ought to kick his ass! I don't see him!"

Then, Jeff punched Randy square in the face and snatched the net. "…My bad!" he smiled, running off.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Ok, I'll pretend that didn't just happen. But hell, I made it to the top 7! I know I have a damn good chance of winning. I mean, look who I have to compete against: A cowboy, an airhead, a crazed stalker, the Moody brothers, and Michelle! I'll tell you this. I didn't come here to make friends, and that's what got me this far."

-Back outside-

Meanwhile, Michelle was walking through the forest and found a frog hopping around.

"Awesome! Come here, little guy." she said, picking him up.

But before she did, he hopped away.

"Come on, little guy!" she exclaimed, chasing him. "I won't hurt you!"

-Hidden Camera-

Michelle: "I made it to the final 7! My confidence actually boosted up the scale! And with people like Maryse and Melina gone, there are no more catfights, which gives me more time to focus completely on the finals. I don't know what to say about Natalya, though. She might end up killing herself if she gets trampled by a herd of deer."

-Back outside-

In another part of the campsite, Matt was searching in the river for a beaver…

"Ok, if I find you, please do NOT eat my head!" he said, ducking his head underwater.

Then when he wasn't looking, one beaver bit him on the behind.

"OW!" he cried in pain. "What the—"

The beaver winked at him.

"Why you—" he shouted, leaping after him.

The beaver quickly swam away from him, while Matt was on its' trail. "You can try, but you can't escape from me!" he exclaimed.

Then, the beaver picked up a huge piece of wood and bonked him over the head with it.

He looked dazed. "…Ok, you can escape now." he slurred, falling back into the water.

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "That little guy can really pack a swing. Anyway, I can't believe I made it to the top 7! I made it through all the crap Randy and Edge put us through, I made it through Mickie's elimination, it's surreal! Now here's the next question: How the HELL did Randy make it this far?"

-Back outside-

Meanwhile, Maria had to catch a chipmunk…

"Ok, now if I were a chipmunk, where would I hide?" she asked.

Then, she caught one in a tree. "Bingo!" she exclaimed.

She climbed the tree, and caught the chipmunk in her hands. "Hey, little guy. You're SOOOO cute, yes you are!"

The chipmunk looked at her with its beady little eyes.

"You know what? You're so adorable, I'm gonna keep you and you can live with me! We can go shopping, do our hair, get a manicure, a pedicure, and talk about boys!" she exclaimed.

Then, the chipmunk got aggressive and bit her hand.

"OW! Mr. Chipmunk, how COULD you?" she exclaimed.

Then, a whole army of chipmunks began to attack her!

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, running away.

-Hidden Camera-

Maria: "I'M IN THE TOP 7! WHOOOOOOOO! I can't believe a girl like me actually made it this far! I outlasted guys like Batista, Undertaker, Edge, Triple H, Cena, need I go on? But now, my only other challenge is Randy. He's such a meanie!"

-Back outside-

"I'm so damn pissed off at Jericho." Shawn said angrily.

"At least I'm not the only one." Randy agreed.

"Getting stuck with a raccoon." HBK continued. "I mean, there are more and more of those things lying in the middle of the road just because they don't know how to cross the street."

Randy chuckled. "And I'm stuck with a bear? I'd actually rather date Natalya than try to catch one of those!" he exclaimed.

"Haha, wow. Wait, why are we even talking to one another?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah, why?" agreed Randy.

"Oh, well." Shawn said, heading into the woods.

Then, Randy had another bright idea. "Michaels, hold up!" he called.

"What?"

"You really want to win this competition, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah…"

"So do I. And now that we're in the top 7, there's absolutely no turning back. I say we stick together through all of this." he continued.

"Ok, are you sick in the head?" asked Shawn. "We hate each other! You almost burned me during that cooking challenge, and I locked you in a freezer overnight! How can we possibly work together?"

"It's not permanent. Just until we secure a spot in the top 3. And I'm sure that you want that." replied Randy.

Shawn just looked at him.

"Well, Michaels?" he asked.

"And you're sure this is gonna work for the both of us?" he asked.

Orton held out his hand. "My plans have worked before, haven't they?"

HBK reluctantly shook his hand. "I hope you keep your word on this and you don't sabotage me." he said.

"Trust me, I won't." he said with an evil smile.

-Hidden Camera-

Shawn: "Well, I beat Hunter and made it to the top 7! After what we all had to go through, it's pretty overwhelming to still be here. Now about this association with Randy. I guess it works out either way. He could be the one to screw up and get himself eliminated, or he could get himself eaten by a bear. It doesn't affect me, so I'm happy."

-Back outside-

Meanwhile, while Jeff was searching, he looked from a distance and saw Matt lying unconscious in the water after the beaver attacked him.

"Matt! You all right, man?" he asked, worried.

He sat up. "Yeah, but now I have a killer headache." he replied.

"What happened?"

"I was attacked by a beaver." he said, holding his head. "And speaking of which, there's one right now!" he exclaimed, charging after it.

Then, a duck sped by and followed the beaver.

"Oh, crap!" Jeff cried, chasing after it. While he charged after the duck, it sped down the river.

"Ok, since when in this century can these guys run track? What happened to waddling?" cried Jeff.

When he did catch the duck, though, it bit him on the nose.

"OW!" he cried.

*Beep beep!* it taunted as it sped away.

"Have I entered some weird paranormal world or something?" Jeff asked, confused.

Meanwhile, Matt had some trouble catching the beaver, too. When he almost captured it, the beaver slid down this HUGE waterfall.

"Damn!" Matt snapped.

"You're not going down there, are you?" Jeff asked, still fumbling with the duck.

"I can't get eliminated! Not this far in the game! Pray that I don't get killed!" he exclaimed, leaping down the waterfall.

"Man, this is gonna be a rough day. This duck is getting on my last nerve, my brother just jumped down a waterfall, and…there are PIHRANAS in this damn river!" Jeff exclaimed, leaping out of the water.

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "I honestly think that I might win this whole thing. I don't want to brag, though, I have great competitors. Except for Randy. But winning this $500 grand will be worth it. I had to go through hell. Crappy food, bathrooms that haven't been cleaned in probably 50 years, putting up with Edge and Randy's crap, losing Kelly. But I can't name a top three, though, I mean, Michelle, Maria, and Shawn could easily make it through. But it'd be awesome if it were Matt and I in the final two. We'll just wait and find out."

-Back outside-

Natalya was searching in the woods for a deer. And she had a tranquilizer gun. Uh oh.

"Ok, little deer, come out, come out, wherever you are!" she exclaimed.

Then, a deer quickly leaped over a fence.

"GOTCHA!" she screamed, firing her gun towards it. But instead of hitting the deer, it somehow managed to hit a plane up ahead!

"Wow, how'd I do that? Anyway, come OUT, little deer! There's nothing to be afraid of…except for me." she smiled.

Next, another deer came out and quickly crossed her path.

"COME ON!" she screamed, firing her gun again.

This time, it didn't hit the deer, but it hit Chef Big Show!

"OW! What was that for?" he demanded.

"My bad!" she called, smiling. "Hahaha."

"I didn't even torture you today..." he muttered, then falling unconscious to the ground.

Next, a horse galloped through the woods, but Natalya confused it for a deer.

"Wow, pretty big deer! This one will be a snap to catch!" she exclaimed, firing towards it.

As a result, it neighed loudly and quickly galloped away.

"Oh crap, how could I confuse a deer and a HORSE?" she asked, frustrated.

-Hidden Camera-

Natalya: "I deserve to win this competition for many reasons! One: I've been out of the competition, but technically, I haven't been voted off. Two: Ever since Randy and I teamed up, neither of us has gotten the boot. And three: After I win the $500 grand, it'll just PROVE that the last remaining member of the Divas of Evil is in fact, THE champion!"

-Back outside-

While Natalya was busy shooting random things with her tranquilizer gun, Randy and Shawn were planning something on the other side of the forest…

"So, dressing up in a deer suit is gonna help you attract a bear?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah. You see, bears eat anything, and deer could be at the top of their food chain." explained Randy. "So, if I'm a deer, a bear can come and I can capture it!"

"I gotta see this to believe it." he replied.

Then, Randy stared at him.

"What?"

"Looks like a raccoon found you." he said, pointing to one on Shawn's shoulder.

"Wha—AAH!" he shouted.

But instead of attacking, the raccoon gazed at him.

"Uh…" he began, confused.

Randy chuckled. "Looks like she has a crush on you." he said.

"Uh, ok then." he said unsurely, looking at it. "But if you attack me from behind, you'll be added to that list of road kill!" he told it.

"All right, I'm ready to do this." Randy said, putting on his antlers. "And if the bear somehow ends up attacking me, do something." he said, leaving.

"Yeah, I'll do something…laugh." Shawn replied.

Meanwhile, Michelle was still chasing the same frog, until she'd run into trouble…

She was out of breath. "Come on, Frogger! I'm tired, and I'm sure you are, too. So let's just settle this now and let me catch you, ok?" she asked.

The frog leaped into a bush.

"Oh, thanks." she said flatly.

All of a sudden, the frog came out…

"Oh, good, you decided to cooperate!" she exclaimed.

…and then a ton of other frogs followed and started surrounding her.

"Big family you have, eh, Frogger? Heh heh." she laughed nervously.

Then, they all started attacking her!

"AAH! OK, NOW I HATE FROGS!" she exclaimed.

While she was being chased, she bumped into Maria, who was still being attacked by the chipmunks.

"I HATE chipmunks!" she whined. "OW!"

"And I hate frogs." Michelle replied. "AGH! I'm all slimy!"

"Hey, maybe if we run really fast, we'll escape them!" suggested Maria.

"Great idea! Let's GO!" Michelle exclaimed as they both sped away from the attacks.

"Awesome!" Maria cried, high fiving her.

Then when they weren't looking, the chipmunks and frogs teamed together and attacked them both at the same time!

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" they screamed, running away.

Meanwhile, Matt survived the waterfall drop and managed to find a beaver!

"You're not getting away this time!" he exclaimed.

After that, the beaver whipped its tail out and slapped him in the face.

"OW! That's it! I oughta—that's it!" he exclaimed, getting an idea. "JEFF!" he called, looking up the waterfall.

"YEAH?"

"YOU STILL GOT THAT DUCK YET?"

"I'M TRYING, BUT THIS THING'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CATCH!" he called back.

"WELL, WHEN YOU DO CATCH IT, TOSS IT DOWN HERE!" called Matt.

"WHY?"

"YOU'LL SEE!" Matt called back.

"What is he up to?" Jeff asked as he confronted the duck again. Luckily it was asleep, so he easily caught it. "That worked well."

Soon after that, the duck woke up and started flipping around crazily.

"OH, no you don't!" he exclaimed, trying to keep it under control.

*Beep beep! Beep beep!* the duck called, trying to escape.

"You're a crazy little thing, you know that?" Jeff asked it. "HEY MATT! INCOMING!" he cried, sliding the duck down the waterfall.

Matt caught it, and then placed it in front of the beaver.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" called Jeff.

"COME DOWN HERE AND FIND OUT!" Matt called back.

Soon after that, Jeff joined him down the waterfall and was about to see the action.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Look." he said, pointing to the fight going on between the duck and the beaver.

"They're fighting. So?" asked Jeff.

"After they're done fighting, they'll be exhausted. Too exhausted to run away from us anymore." he explained.

"Oh, I see." he replied.

As the fight winded down, like Matt said, the duck and the beaver were getting exhausted.

"This is our chance. Grab the duck and let's get back to camp!" called Matt.

"Wow. You are a genius, dude!" exclaimed Jeff. "Let's go!"

Back in the woods, Randy leaped out of nowhere, acting silly in his deer suit…

"Come out, bear! It's me, a deer! You can eat me for dinner if you'd like!" he called.

No bears came out, but Natalya did.

"Hahaha." she chuckled. "YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" she screamed, firing the tranquilizer gun at him.

"What the—Natalya, what the hell did you just do?" demanded Randy.

"Hey, you're not a deer!" she exclaimed, disappointed.

"No, DUH! I'm trying to attract a bear! And now I'm…I'm paralyzed! I can't move!" he exclaimed, lying on the ground.

"Damn it! Uh...uh...NO ONE SEES THE WIZARD!" she cried, running away.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" he screamed, defenseless.

"Whoa, what happened to you, Orton?" Shawn laughed, still carrying the raccoon.

"Natalya shot me with a tranquilizer gun and now I'm paralyzed!" he exclaimed angrily.

"Ouch. You sure you don't want to go to the ER for your…butt dart?" Shawn laughed.

"NO! Natalya has crossed the line this time!" Randy said darkly.

Later that day, Jeff and Matt returned to camp first, followed by Maria and Michelle, who were still being attacked, followed by Natalya, paralyzed Randy, and Shawn.

"Well, you made it back, gang! Congratulations!" exclaimed Jericho. "Jeff, Matt, you two got here first with your animals, but there only has to be one winner. Who's it gonna be?"

"Well, what's for dinner?" asked Matt.

"Steak ala King, with ice cream cake for dessert."

"Jeff, you can take this one if you want." he told him.

"Naw, you should. You were the one who helped me catch this duck." he replied.

"Sure, man?" asked Matt.

"TODAY, guys." Jericho said impatiently.

They glared at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure. You deserve it, dude." Jeff said gratefully.

"Thanks, bro!"

"Aw, we lost!" exclaimed Maria.

"Whoa. Got your animals, girls?" asked Chris.

Out of the barrage of frogs and chipmunks, they raised their hands and revealed a frog and a chipmunk. "Here." they said weakly.

"Shawn, Randy, Natalya?"

"Well, I've got my raccoon. Fortunately, I can't say the same about those two." said Shawn.

"What happened?" asked Jericho.

"Nattie here shot me with a tranquilizer gun, so I couldn't find the bear." Randy said, glaring at her.

"Hey! You're dressed in a deer suit! I got confused! And I tried to shoot a real deer, but I ended up shooting a plane, a horse, and Chef Big Show!" she argued.

"…Wow, that's—that's pretty sad." Jericho said, surprised. "All right, gang, let's go to the Campfire of Truth to get rid of someone else."

Later…

"All righty then. Let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave this week." he said.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Natalya paralyzed me, damn it! She's next."

Shawn: "Today's been a fun day. I guess I'll vote off Nattie because I don't have anyone else to vote for yet."

Maria: "Ok, I'm still in pain right now, but I'll vote off Natalya because she's been here long enough!"

Matt: "No matter what happens, I'll vote for Randy. And he got shot by a tranquilizer gun? Sweet!"

Jeff: "So, I'll vote Randy because it's about time for him to go. Then again, it was time about 18 weeks ago."

Michelle: "Bye bye, Nattie! Haha!"

Natalya: "Ok, I'll vote off Maria because HER perkiness is getting on my nerves, too!"

-Back outside-

"Coolio. Now that the votes are in, let's get things started. When I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Shawn…Michelle…Jeff…Maria…and Matt."

"What a surprise." announced Shawn.

"Yeah." agreed Jericho. "Ok, Randy, Natalya, one of you leaves Total WWE Island. And that person is…"

"Aw, just say it already!" Randy said grumpily.

"Fine! No need to be hurtful. Natalya, you're outta here." he said.

"WHAT?" she demanded. "All because I couldn't catch a damn deer?"

"And because mostly everyone voted you off." he added.

"Damn it!" she cried. "Well, this is goodbye, Randy."

"Praise the Lord." he replied.

"What? Aren't you gonna miss me?" she asked.

"Miss you? I'll be celebrating! You see, now that you're finally leaving, I can reveal the truth." he said.

"What truth?"

"You were used, a pawn in my game, played like a harp! I'm not really your friend and I only used you to help me get this far." he smiled.

She looked angry. "Oh, really? Well, then I only have one thing to say to you."

"What?"

Then, she stomped on his stomach.

"OWWW!" he cried out.

"BYE!" she screamed. Then, she whipped out a smoke bomb, set it off, and when the dust cleared, she was gone!

Awkward silence.

"Nice exit." Michelle said, surprised.

"Well, Randy, since you were on the chopping block, you get to clean the bathrooms!" Jericho exclaimed, tossing a bucket and mop at him.

Then, Randy looked towards Shawn. "Oh, Shawn? I'd do something, but I'm paralyzed."

"Oh fine, I'll do it." he muttered, snatching the mop and bucket from him. "And you!" he turned to the raccoon. "Just so you know, I'm happily married, so try your luck somewhere else."

The raccoon looked heartbroken, and then turned to Jericho.

"Uh…nice raccoon?" he said cautiously.

"RAAAAA!" it cried out, chasing him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! RABIES, RABIES!" he screamed.


	21. Episode 21

Total WWE Island – Misery Loves Company

Episode 21

"Hello, TV Land! This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Chris Jericho with another unpredictable week of TWI

coming up next! Last week, it was everyone vs. Mother Nature when the remaining 7 campers had to bag an animal

before it was too late. Maria had to catch a chipmunk, but things turned hostile once a whole bunch of them started

attacking her! Matt had to catch a beaver, but it beat him to the punch when the beaver OWNED him! Jeff had to

catch a duck, but it wasn't easy when he literally sent Jeff on a wild goose chase! Michelle had to find a frog, but she

was in a similar dilemma like Maria's, being attacked by the slimy things. Randy and Shawn had to find a bear and a

raccoon, respectively, but the shocking part of all this: they formed an alliance! How long will this last? Finally,

Natalya had to bag a deer, but with the help of her tranquilizer gun, she managed to bag a plane, a horse, Chef Big

Show, and Randy, who was dressed in a deer suit! After the madness was over, Jeff and Matt returned to the island

first, and Matt ended up winning the prize, which was a fancy dinner! As everyone else returned, including a

paralyzed Randy and Natalya with her empty tranquilizer gun, the votes at the Campfire of Truth ultimately booted

Natalya off…again! This week, we're up to the final 6! Who will continue on and who will get the boot? Find out this

week on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

It was early morning, and Maria was having a weird dream…

"_Ah, what a beautiful day! What the…why am I wearing a penguin costume?" she asked._ _"Oh, well."_

_She was in a bed floating in the sky, where she saw floating nachos and ham copters in the sky._

"_Wow! Nachos, ham…and it's free! Yay!" she cheered._

_She took a bite of ham and then ate a nacho in midair. Next, it started raining grape soda!_

"_YAY!" she cheered, gulping it down._

"_HEY, SHUT UP!" called an outside voice._

"Huh?" Maria asked, waking up from her dream.

"God, these planes up ahead are SO annoying." Michelle said, looking out of the window. "Oh, did I wake you, Maria?"

"Well, I WAS in the middle of an awesome dream." she replied.

"I'm sorry! What was it about?" she asked.

"I was in a bed floating in the sky, and I was in a penguin suit, and in the sky, there was floating ham and nachos, and then the sky rained grape soda!" she exclaimed quickly and excitedly.

"…Oh." Michelle said, confused.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for your next challenge!" _announced Jericho.

A few minutes later…

"What's up, top 6?" asked Jericho. "It's amazing how far we got here. We started off with 24 contestants, and got rid of Kane, Big Daddy V, JBL, Maryse, the Glamazon, Santino, Natalya, Undertaker, Candice, Batista, CM Punk, John Cena, the Glamazon again, Edge, Melina, Mickie, Kofi, Kelly Kelly, Triple H, and Natalya again. And now we're left with you guys! So, you ready for today's challenge?"

"I'm ready to bring back that raccoon that chased you all over camp." Shawn smiled.

"Let's not start THAT again, thank you very much!" he snapped. "Anyway, today's challenge is gonna be called, the Three Armed Marathon!"

"We're gonna run or something?" asked Maria. "With three arms?"

"Ok, let me explain. Since there are six of you left, two of you are gonna be paired up together, handcuffed." Jericho smiled evilly.

"Uh oh." Matt said, worried.

"While you're all stuck together, you all have to compete in three different contests, but the key is to actually work with your partner. Whichever team wins, gets invincibility. Now during each contest, there's something called a Dope Key that'll separate you and your partner, but should you decide to use it, you're eliminated from the challenge. And I had the pleasure of choosing who each of you will be paired up with." Jericho smiled.

-Hidden Camera-

Michelle: "Please, please, PLEASE, Jericho! Don't, I repeat, DON'T pair me up with Randy! I'm cool with everyone else, but I won't last a minute if I'm stuck with him!"

-Back outside-

"Ok, Matt and Maria, you'll be one team." he said.

"Yay! We're partners!" she exclaimed, hugging him.

"And the good thing is that we're not paired up with Rand over there." agreed Matt.

"Shawn and Jeff, you'll be another team." said Jericho.

"Hey, Jeffy boy! Nice to be workin' with ya!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Same here, HBK! Thank God neither of us has to be paired up with Orton." added Jeff.

"Yeah, but I feel bad for poor Michelle, though." replied Shawn.

"And Randy and Michelle, you'll be another team." he finished.

"Damn!" snapped Michelle.

"Well, it won't be that bad." Randy told her. "I mean, we haven't had any arguments or rivalries."

"Yet." she answered.

"True. I hope we don't tear each other apart by the end of the day." he agreed.

"Ok, you guys, let's handcuff you up and then head for the cafeteria for your first contest!" announced Jericho.

Later…

"These handcuffs are kinda tight." said Jeff. "Where'd you get these from, anyway?"

"…At Party City for 99 cents." Chris muttered quickly. "ANYWAYS, your first contest will be an eat off!"

"If Hunter were still here, he'd be in wonderland right about now." said Shawn.

"One partner will have a hand behind their back, including one hand of the other partner's, and with their only free hand, they must feed their partner before time runs out. Whoever finishes their food wins! Now I suggest you guys decide who's gonna be the feeder, and who's gonna be the eater." he finished. "I made a rhyme. I rock."

"Ok, I'll be the feeder." said Jeff.

"What if I want to be the feeder?" asked Shawn.

"Well, I'm not hungry." he replied.

"I'm not, either! But it doesn't even matter if we're hungry or not, we need to find a way to work this out so we can win!" argued Shawn.

"I GOT IT! Rock, paper, scissors!" exclaimed Jeff.

"All right." he agreed.

They both shook their fists and then Shawn finished with paper while Jeff finished with rock.

"WOO, paper covers rock!" cheered Shawn.

"Damn it!" cried Jeff.

"Haha! Get ready to eat!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile…

"I'll feed you if you want." Matt told Maria.

"No, it's ok. I'll feed you." she replied.

"No, I insist. I'll feed you." he replied.

"You don't have to! I'll feed you!" she exclaimed.

"OH, MY GOD!" Jericho cried, annoyed. He shoved a fork in Matt's hand. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he asked.

Meanwhile…

"Ok, here's what's up. You feed me because…I'm starving." said Randy.

"Hey, you can't just make up your own rules! I get a say in this, too!" argued Michelle.

Then, Randy placed a fork in her hand. "Just do it so that we can win." he said.

She sighed heavily. "But my arms can't even reach across the table this way!" she cried.

"Find a way. We made it this far and I'm not about to lose now!" he exclaimed.

"Whatever." she muttered.

Then, Chef Big Show brought out a chicken. "My treat, you guys." he said with an evil smile. "It's to DIE for…"

"What?" Shawn asked quickly.

"Nothing." he replied, heading back into the kitchen.

Randy glanced at the chicken. "Ok, why is this thing GREEN?" he demanded.

Big Show poked his head from out of the door. "Because. Hahahahaha..." he laughed evilly.

"If he poisons us, I say we steal his secret stash of food." announced Jeff.

"All right, you guys. Ready…set…EAT!" called Jericho.

Shawn quickly began, feeding Jeff a little too fast.

"Dude!...Slow down, will ya? *gulp*" Jeff choked out.

"Shut up and chew." HBK replied, still stuffing his partner's face.

Matt had a plan to get Maria to chew in intervals, so maybe they could win…

"Ok, if you eat bits at a time at a certain speed, we just might win." he said, feeding her.

"MMM! This is deelish!" she exclaimed.

"I know, now less talky and more chewy." he replied.

"I mean it, this stuff is awesome! I wonder if I could get a recipe!" Maria ranted on.

"Eat, Maria, eat!" Matt pleaded. "Please?"

"Yummy!" she exclaimed.

Michelle's arms were too short to reach across the table, and she and Randy weren't getting much done…

"Come ON, Michelle! FASTER!" Randy demanded.

She tried to fling the food into his mouth, but she missed.

"I told you, my arms are too short!" she cried.

"Then FIND a way to do this!" he snapped.

"15 more seconds, you guys!" called Jericho.

"NOW!" yelled Randy.

Then, Michelle had an idea. "Ok, Randy. Open wide." she said, holding up the whole plate of chicken.

"Uh wait, what are you gonna do with that?" he asked cautiously.

"OPEN WIDE!" she screamed.

"Ok, ok! Jeez!" he exclaimed, doing just that.

Michelle took the entire thing and slammed it into his mouth. "EAT!" she demanded. "EAT, EAT, EAT!"

Randy signaled thumbs up as he finished.

"TIME'S UP!" called Chris.

Matt and Maria had most of their food still left.

Shawn was still stuffing Jeff's face while Jeff frantically tried to slap the fork out of Shawn's hand. Next, the two began a slap fight resulting in them both falling down on the floor.

"Well, then. Michelle, Randy, you two win the first round!" announced Chris.

"YES!" they both cheered.

"I'm impressed. Good idea, Michelle." said Randy.

"Thanks. I didn't know that you were such a fast eater." she replied.

"Yeah, that stuff goes down fast. Gotta go to the outhouse!" he exclaimed, dragging her along.

"AW, COME ON!" she cried in despair.

Later…

Ok, you guys. Before the next contest begins, I'm offering you all a chance to use the dope key. But remember, if you do, you're both out of the challenge." Jericho said, holding up a key.

"I dare you to take it." said Jeff.

"I dare YOU to take it." replied Shawn.

"I'm not taking it." Jeff replied.

"Well, I'm not either." Shawn replied.

"Good!" snapped Jeff.

"GOOD!" snapped Shawn.

"Hey, I'm sorry I made us lose the first contest." said Maria. "Are you gonna want to use the key?"

"Aw, it's ok. We don't need it. Besides, there are two more contests in store so it's no sweat!" exclaimed Matt.

"Good! I hate sweat, anyway!" she replied.

"Hey, since we're, y'know, not friends, don't get along, and probably never will, I think we should use the key." Michelle told Randy. "What do you think?"

"NO FRIGGIN WAY!" he shouted. "Michelle, if we use that key, we're out of the challenge, and possibly out of the whole damn competition! We're not using any key until this whole thing is over!"

"All right! Take a chill pill, will ya?" she asked, glaring at him.

"Ok, since no one's gonna use it, let's proceed to contest number 2!" exclaimed Jericho.

Soon after that, they all met on the beach…

"Ok, here's your second contest. You'll each take a canoe here and paddle yourselves back to Corny Island, where there'll be a box waiting there for you guys. That's all I'll tell you now, and I'll meet you there! Don't kill yourselves! Remember what happened the last time!" Chris said with a laugh.

Everyone settled in their canoes…

"I want to paddle in front!" announced Shawn.

"No, I do!" argued Jeff.

"ME!" Shawn exclaimed, tugging the paddle away from him.

"No, ME!" Jeff cried, tugging it back.

Then, they both dropped the paddle and played rock, paper, scissors again.

"HA! Scissors cuts paper!" cheered Shawn.

"I hate this game." Jeff pouted, crossing his arms.

"Ah, isn't this relaxing?" asked Maria.

"Yep." agreed Matt.

"This reminds me of a time when I was at summer camp, and my friends and I had to glue macaroni pieces together to make some kind of collage!" she exclaimed.

"Soo…what does this have to do with canoeing?" asked Matt.

"I don't know, but I remember gluing macaroni to my face!" she laughed.

"…Wow." Matt replied, raising an eyebrow.

"And one other time, I made this experiment, and it blew up my entire cabin! It took days and days and days and days and days and days…" she babbled on.

Matt sighed in despair. "This is gonna be the longest boat ride of my life."

-Hidden Camera-

Matt: "Ok, I love Maria as a friend, but I think that Jeff would be a better partner for her in this challenge. He'd love listening to her stories!...You know, he actually glued macaroni to his face once, too. I don't want to talk about it."

-Back outside-

"…It's wrong, it's mean, it's disrespectful! Nobody listens to me!" exclaimed Randy.

"Don't care." Michelle said dully.

"I mean, I made it this far on my own, and I STILL don't get any respect?" he continued.

"You know that you're only talking to yourself, right?" she asked.

"The only three people who respected me, all betrayed me! Edge turned on me, Melina walked out on me, and Natalya kicked me in the gut before she left! Can you believe that?" he demanded.

"Are you STILL talking?" Michelle exclaimed. "Hey, hey. I see Corny Island!"

Soon after that, they reached the island first, finding the box…

"Excellent!" exclaimed Randy. "Let's see what's inside!"

As they opened it, they found pieces of Lil Candi, Candice's tiki doll!

"Isn't that supposed to be Candice's doll?" asked Randy.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Michelle. "How'd it get back here?"

Everyone else joined them.

"Whoa, it's Lil Candi!" Jeff said, surprised.

"What's that doing back here?" asked Matt. "And how'd it get broken?"

"Good questions, gang." Jericho said, arriving down from a helicopter.

"Always one to show off." Shawn muttered.

"You see, when Candice got rid of this thing, she never returned it back here. But it broke into pieces when she tossed it off of a cliff. Somehow, it found its way back here. So here's the rest of the contest: You guys need to take one of the pieces to the Cave of Horrible Horror, and do it as fast as you can. The longer you hold your piece, the more bad luck you'll have." he explained.

"Sounds good enough. Let's go." said Jeff.

"Wait, wait. There's one more thing...You all have to go PIGGYBACK!" Jericho exclaimed, giggling hysterically.

"Just when I thought he couldn't get any stupider." Randy replied.

"Well Maria, get on." Matt said, lifting her onto his back.

"WHEEEEEEE! Piggyback ride!" she cheered.

"Ok, Randy, you've gotten your way, so now it's my turn!" exclaimed Michelle. "Let me on!"

"What? But I have a bad back!" he complained. "You know that I—"

She grabbed him by the collar and held him about two inches from her face. "LET…ME…ON." she said through clenched teeth.

"Fine! Don't have to be so aggressive." he muttered, lifting her onto his back.

"Ok, I've been fine until now. I will NOT lift you!" exclaimed Jeff.

"In a pig's eye! You ARE lifting me because I'm NOT lifting you!" argued Shawn.

"Do we have to go through this every time, damn it?" Jeff asked quietly.

"I guess so." Shawn replied seriously.

Once again, they played rock, paper, scissors.

Shawn had rock while Jeff had paper!

"YAY! Hot damn!" he cried happily.

"You just got lucky. All right, climb on." Shawn said dully.

Later, as everyone walked, Matt and Maria couldn't find the cave, much less anything…

"Ok, all I see are trees, trees, and look! Trees!" Matt said sarcastically.

"Yeah! Aren't they pretty?" asked Maria.

"Maria, we don't have time to stop and stare at the forest!" he exclaimed. "We have a contest to win, and worst of all, I think we're lost!"

"Just a sec." she said, taking out her camera.

"What are you doing?" Matt demanded.

"I want to take some pictures!" she exclaimed. "Come on, pose next to that tree over there!"

"No! Maria, I'm serious, we have to get going!" he exclaimed angrily.

She didn't listen and kept on taking pictures. "No, it's picture time."

Matt just about had it. He stormed up to her, snatched her camera, and then tossed it into the river.

She looked in shock. "Matt!"

"Maria, you've got to be kidding me here! We're in the top 6, damn it! Get with the program and start taking things more seriously!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry." she finally said. "I just wanted us all to be happy and have some fun while we're all still here. It just seems like everyone's so serious, and I just wanted to cheer everyone up." she said, walking ahead.

"Maria, hold up." he said. "I'm sorry I snapped at you like that. I guess I was just so psyched to make it this far, we all forgot to have fun. I feel like such a jerk for getting rid of your camera like that."

Then, she gave him another hug. "It's ok, Matt. I'm just happy to be with my friends." she said with a smile.

"Can't argue with that. Now, hop on and let's keep going!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Randy and Michelle made it to the cave first…

"Sweet! We made it!" exclaimed Michelle.

"All right, let's get rid of this thing once and for all." Randy said, leading them inside.

As they went inside of the cave, a group of rabid beavers leapt out towards them!

"WHAT THE—" Randy began, shocked.

"Let's get outta here before we become dinner!" cried Michelle.

Jeff and Shawn caught the two speeding out like maniacs.

"Whoa, what the hell's with them?" asked Jeff, perched on Shawn's back.

"I have no idea, but they lost." replied Shawn. "C'mon, let's go inside."

As they entered the cave, a huge tarantula suddenly fell on Jeff's face.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" he screamed, terrified. "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!"

"IT'S A SPIIIIIIDERRRRRR! OH DEAR GOD, NO!" Shawn cried, speeding away from the cave. He wasn't watching where he was going, so naturally, he tripped and fell in the river, taking Jeff along with him.

*SPLASH!*

A few minutes later, Matt and Maria finally arrived to the cave…

"Where'd everyone else go?" asked Matt.

"No idea." she replied.

"Damn it! We probably lost this one, too." he said disappointedly.

"Hey! Don't give up like that!" she scolded him. "I think we still have a chance. C'mon, let's get rid of this thing."

Then, she tossed the piece into the cave, despite all of the scary creatures inside reaching out to attack the two.

"Hey, we—we did it!" Matt exclaimed, surprised. "We won!"

Maria smiled. "Told ya."

Then, he hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Maria!"

"No problem! Now…can you loosen your grip for a sec?" she asked, out of breath. "You're crushing my lungs."

He quickly let her go. "Oops, sorry." he replied.

Later, everyone returned to the island…

"Great job out there, you guys!" exclaimed Jericho. "Now, let's check out the scores, shall we? Michelle and Randy get one point for the first contest, Matt and Maria get one point for the last contest, and Jeff and Shawn, you get zippity doo da!"

They just glared at him.

"But don't fret, my friends. You can redeem yourselves in the last contest, which is, THIS!" he exclaimed, unveiling a table with a bunch of wooden heads.

"AAAAAHHH!" Randy screamed in surprise. "What the hell?"

"Here are the heads of the campers that got voted off already. Your last contest is to build a totem pole with their heads, but you have to put them in order from who was eliminated first, to the last person who got the boot. And I DID indeed mention everyone in order earlier this morning, so I hope you listened." he explained.

"Damn! The one day I choose to ignore him." muttered Shawn.

A few minutes later…

Randy picked up Edge's head. "Woman stealer."

Then, he picked up Santino's head. "I hope you're having fun with your_ boyfriend_, the Glamazon." he said with a chuckle.

He picked up Undertaker's head. "Can't chokeslam me anymore, can ya?" he asked.

Then, he picked up Natalya's head. "Stalker."

"Ok, are you gonna say something about everyone?" Michelle asked, annoyed.

"…Probably." he shrugged.

Then, Michelle picked up John's head and kissed it on the lips. "…John." she said dreamily.

"You know you're gonna get splinters doing that, right?" asked Randy.

"I don't care." Michelle replied, still gazing at the wooden head.

Meanwhile…

"Ok, we're halfway there, at least." announced Matt. "Only 9 more to go."

"Yeah, but I can't tell the difference between these two." Maria said, holding up two heads.

"Uh, Maria? That's JBL and CM Punk." he replied.

"Oh, yeah!" she exclaimed. Then, she carelessly tossed JBL's head into the woods and hugged Punk's head. "Punky!" she squealed in delight.

Meanwhile…

"Hey, Jeff, what are you up to?" asked Shawn.

He was carving something on the back of a Kelly Kelly head.

"See?" he said, showing him.

He carved the initials J + K inside of a heart on her head.

Then, Jericho walked by and saw what he wrote. "Dude, on this planet, guys kiss the girls they like, not carve on the back of their heads!" he laughed.

Jeff glared angrily as Shawn threw a Maryse head at Jericho.

*BONK!*

"OW!" Jericho cried from a distance.

"I've always wanted to do that to him." Shawn said, satisfied.

"Thanks, man." Jeff said gratefully.

"No problem. Hey, you're still missing her, aren't you?" he asked.

He gazed at her head. "I always will when she's not around." he said quietly.

"I know how you feel. I'll always miss my Rebecca when I'm away from her." Shawn said, thinking of his wife.

They both sighed. "Women…"

Meanwhile…

"Well, Cena? Guess what. I beat you by a LANDSLIDE! You made it to like, the top 15 and I'm still standing strong in the top 6! You never could beat me." Randy taunted, holding a Cena head.

Michelle was furious. "Shut up! Don't you EVER talk about my boyfriend like that!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, you mean the one who left you weeks ago? Hahahahaha!" he laughed. "WHOA!"

Then, she sped off towards Jericho, dragging Randy along like a rag doll.

"Jericho, I cannot stand another minute with him! Give me that damn key!" she screamed.

"NO!" argued Randy.

"Yeah, I can't." said Jericho, who was holding an ice pack for his head.

"But WHY?" she demanded.

"Cause, it looks like Jeff and Shawn just won the last contest!" he answered, pointing to their completed totem pole.

"YES!" they both cheered, knuckle punching each other.

Later that night, everyone met with Jericho for the Campfire of Truth…

"Ok, you guys. Nobody won invincibility since everyone got a point each, but either way, someone else is going home tonight. Let's show everyone at home who you guys chose to leave." he said.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "Ok, I know that I've been trapped in Michelle's clutches all day, but I'll vote off Maria because she's a little too happy."

Shawn: "I'd really hate to do this, but this competition's getting serious now, and Maria doesn't seem to be taking that…seriously!"

Maria: "I'll vote for Randy because he's been here a little too long."

Matt: "It'll kill me to even do this, but I might still have to vote off Maria. This IS a competition, after all."

Jeff: "I haven't been keeping up with whatever's going on, so I'll just vote for Orton again. He has to get lost sooner or later."

Michelle: "That Randy is the jerkiest jerk I could ever think of! If he badmouths my John, then I'll badmouth you, you (bleep) (bleep) (BLEEP!)…Ok, I'm done."

-Back outside-

"All righty then. When I call your name, grab a smore." said Jericho. "Michelle…Randy…Jeff…and Shawn."

"Not good." Matt said nervously.

"All right, Matt and Maria. One of you stays and one of you goes." he said. "And that person is…"

Maria looked nervous and Matt stood up.

"You don't even have to say it, Jericho. I'm going home, aren't I?" he asked.

"No, you aren't, dude. You can sit down." he replied. "Maria, can't say the same for you, unfortunately." he told her.

"That's ok." she smiled. "I made it this far, and I just wish the rest of you the best of luck!...Except for Randy."

"Yeah, I know." he muttered.

Michelle was the first to hug her. "Maria, you did awesome! I'm gonna miss you SOOO much!" she exclaimed, a tear coming down her face.

"I'll miss you too, Michelle!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry we spent most of our time here fighting."

"I'm sorry, too." she replied.

"Well, it's been awesome, Red!" Jeff smiled, hugging her next and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll miss you."

She smiled and blushed. "Aw! I'll miss you too, Jeff!" she exclaimed.

"You made it this far, Maria, you have every reason to smile." Shawn replied, smiling.

She hugged him next. "I know, but I don't care whether I won or not, as long as I was with my friends!" she exclaimed, heading off. "Later, everyone!"

Before she left for the yacht, Matt caught up with her. "Maria, wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Here, I believe this belongs to you." he said, handing her the camera.

"My camera! Matt, how'd you get it back?" she asked.

"I kinda fished it out from the river. I'm sorry I got rid of it before. Does it still work?" he asked.

"Let's see. Everyone, pose for the camera!" she exclaimed as the friends (minus Randy) posed together while the camera took their picture.

Everyone looked at the picture.

"Well, Rand, you look…excited." Michelle said sarcastically.

"Uh huh." he said dully. "And then, there were 5."


	22. Episode 22

Total WWE Island – At the Family Reunion!

Episode 22

Yo, yo, YO! This is the ayatollah of rock and rolla, Chris Jericho with a SPECIAL episode of TWI coming right up! Last

week, the top 6 campers competed in what I call, the Three Armed Marathon! All 6 players were teamed up and

handcuffed together to compete in three contests just to see how they could handle the torture of being stuck

together. Everything was fine when Matt and Maria, and Jeff and Shawn teamed up, but Michelle wasn't too thrilled

when she was stuck with Randy! The first challenge was an eat off, where Shawn was stuffing Jeff to the limit, Maria

was a little too distracted by the food, with Matt hoping to win, and Michelle had a great plan by literally stuffing the

food right into Rand's face! Luckily for them, they won the first round. The second contest sent our campers back to

Corny Island, where they found pieces of Lil Candi, Candice's tiki doll that she once tossed off of a cliff. Each pair had

to grab a piece of the doll and throw it into the Cave of Horrible Horror, where Randy and Michelle didn't do so well,

and a spider attack sent Shawn and Jeff into a river! But Matt and Maria prevailed once they were the only team to

complete the contest! The third and final contest had everyone create a totem pole with the wooden heads of the

eliminated campers. Matt and Maria got a little confused, Jeff fell in love again after he saw a head that resembled

Kelly Kelly, and Michelle raged after Randy after he badmouthed her boyfriend Cena! But as they were about to

escape each other's wrath, Jeff and Shawn won the final contest, making everyone winners! But later that night at

the Campfire of Truth, most of the votes ultimately went to Maria, who actually went home with a smile! This week,

things are gonna go totally different when we see what the eliminated campers are up to! Also, a huge surprise is in

store for one of our campers. What will happen? Find out next on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

It was a normal day at Total WWE Island.

Michelle was in an outhouse throwing up.

Jeff and Matt were being chased by a bear through the woods.

Randy was swimming in a lake, and he was covered in leeches.

And Shawn was fishing, but he happened to catch Randy's trunks!

"Hey everyone, get over here!" exclaimed Jericho.

"What?" Randy snarled, snatching his trunks back from Shawn.

"Good news! You guys get a break today and you don't have to do any challenges!" he announced.

"WHOOOO!" they cheered.

"So, what's going on today?" asked Michelle.

"Today, you guys'll sit back and relax as I visit the eliminated campers at the fancy hotel they're staying in, called the Holidae Inn!" he replied.

"Hey, isn't that the name of a rap song?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah, by Chingy." answered Jeff.

"Well, Chingy's not gonna be there. But while I'm there, watch out for your friends, lovers, and enemies to be onscreen. Well, see ya on the tube!" Jericho exclaimed, hopping on a plane.

"Ok, I don't know whether to celebrate seeing our friends again or Jericho leaving us!" exclaimed Matt.

"Personally, I'll celebrate a break from Jericho." Shawn said, grabbing a lemonade. "Let the good times roll."

At the Holidae Inn…

Everyone stayed in the fanciest hotel around!

Mickie and Kelly Kelly were relaxing by the pool.

Batista was in a gym weightlifting.

CM Punk and Maria were making out in a Jacuzzi, while Cena miserably looked on.

JBL was in his own corner, typing away on his laptop.

Santino was getting a tan.

The Glamazon (as usual) looked pissed.

Big Daddy V was pigging out on chicken wings, while Triple H fought him for them.

Kofi found his pet bunny again.

Kane and Undertaker were playing with fire (Surprise, surprise).

Candice relaxed in the pool.

Natalya was lurking around UNDER the pool.

Maryse was fighting with a punching bag, pretending that it was Michelle.

And Edge and Melina were off causing trouble wherever they could.

"Well, girls, getting eliminated wasn't SO bad." Candice told Kelly and Mickie.

"Yeah, but it'd be way better if our guys were here with us." said Mickie.

"It would, but it's good that they're still in the competition." replied Kelly. "I'm so proud of Jeff for making it this close in the game."

"I'm proud of everyone there…except for Randy." added Mickie. "I cannot believe that jerkwad kissed me right in front of Matt!"

"It's amazing that Randy's still even there!" exclaimed Candice. "We wanted him off ever since day 1, and now he's in the top 5!"

Then, all of a sudden, Candice was dragged to the bottom of the pool!

"AAAAAHH!" she shrieked.

"CANDICE!" they cried.

She came up. "I'm all right. But what the hell just happened?" she demanded. "OW! Who bit me?"

After that, Natalya came up behind her. "Surprise. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed crazily.

"YOU did this?" demanded Candice.

"No, Crusty the Clown did it, YEAH, it was me!" she replied.

"You're going down, Natalya!" she cried, tacking her down in the pool.

"And the catfights go on." concluded Mickie.

Then, Jericho, with his camera, busted in the place. "Helloooooooooooo, everyone!" he greeted.

"Aw, hell no!" snapped Undertaker. "It's HIM!"

"Why are you here?" Kane asked in a demonic tone of voice.

"Well, I just wanted to show our top 5 how you guys were doing here. So, I'm taping a special episode, just featuring you guys!" he exclaimed.

"Well, I'm-a not-a ready yet, Chris-a de Jericho!" exclaimed Santino, who was turning pink. "I, Santino Marella, need to-a look absolutely perfecto! Isn't that-a right, honey?" he asked the Glamazon.

"That's right! If my Tino isn't ready yet, then I'm not, either!" she snapped.

"Whatever. So, Ms. Phoenix, how's it feel being eliminated not once, but TWICE and on the same day that you returned?" he asked.

"How's it feel? HOW'S IT FEEL?" she demanded. "It is embarrassing, disgraceful, and the others are just jealous of my superior strength! That's the ONLY reason they voted me off!"

"You-a tell-a him, honey!" cheered Santino.

"Now, if you want to ask me any more questions, I'll be happy to oblige." she said, cracking her knuckles.

"…Ok, let's go check on somebody else." Jericho said quickly, running away.

Back at the Jacuzzi, Punk and Maria cuddled as John thought about Michelle…

"I'm so proud of you for making it to the top 6, babe." Punk told Maria. "You know how long I missed you?"

She smiled. "How long?"

"Maybe this'll tell you." he said, giving her a passionate kiss.

John looked on, jealous.

"Mmm, I guess you missed me a lot." Maria smiled.

Then, they looked at John.

"Oops, sorry." said Punk. "Listen, man. Ever since we patched things up, we've both been cheering Michelle on. I know you miss her like we do."

"Thanks." he replied. "Yeah, I do miss her, but before I left, I made her promise not to quit, and she's done such an awesome job already…God, I LOVE that woman!" he exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

Then, Jericho joined them. "Well, lookee here!" he exclaimed. "Maria, nice to see you again, and Punk, Cena, it's been a long time."

"Not long enough." Punk said, glaring at him.

"So, you two still at each other's throats?" he asked.

"Not anymore. We've patched things up at about the same time that the girls made up." answered Cena.

"Aw, how sweet." Jericho said sarcastically. "Is there gonna be a fight anyway?" he asked eagerly.

They all looked at him.

"GET LOST!" Punk cried, splashing some water towards him.

"Jeez! All right! But before I do, you might want to say hello to Michelle. She's watching back at camp." he said.

Cena lit up. "Seriously?"

"Sure! Just say what you want to the camera." he replied.

"Hey, Michelle!" the three exclaimed.

"You've managed to outlast all of us," began Punk. "And we're damn proud of you for staying in the competition!"

"I know I've only been here for a few days, but I still miss you, sweetie! Keep on doing what you do!" Maria exclaimed to the camera. "Love ya!"

"Chelle, you have no idea how much I want to see you right now, but I just want to tell you that I'm proud beyond belief! I always knew that my girl could outlast everyone. See you in the finale, baby. I love you." he finished.

Meanwhile, Batista continued weightlifting, while Kofi and a grumpy Triple H relaxed by the barbeque…

"Dude, what's up with you?" Batista asked HHH.

"That damned Big Daddy V ate the last chicken wing." he muttered.

"Why are you so worried about that? You just ate a whole tub of spare ribs!" he exclaimed.

"I feel empty on the inside again." he replied. "Hey, wait. Kofi, how'd you get your pet rabbit back? I heard he ran away."

"I found him on the yacht trip here, mon!" he exclaimed.

Then, Jericho joined them. "Hey, men! Hunter, you still afraid of that madman who didn't even attack you?" he asked with a laugh.

Batista and Kofi laughed along.

"That was a good episode, man." Batista chuckled.

"IT'S OVER NOW!" HHH snapped.

"Sure it is." Chris said sarcastically. "So since we're live right now, you want to give any shout outs to the top 5?"

"Yeah! You guys are doing great, mon!" exclaimed Kofi.

"I'm impressed." said Batista. "The four of you hang in there. And when I say the four of you, I don't mean Randy. But I'm sure you all already knew that."

"I can't believe you all outlasted the King of Kings." said HHH. "But hey, you all got lucky, haha. Especially you, Shawn. And Randy, you've been on the borderline ever since day 1, so your time to go will come soon."

"All righty then." said Jericho. "So, Batista, how's it been for you? Long time, no see!"

"This place isn't as bad as I heard it'd be. But now that you're here…" he trailed off.

"Gee, thanks." he said dully. "Hey, Kofi! How'd you get your pet bunny back?"

"I found him on the way here, mon! I'll tell ya, he's never going outta my sight again!" he exclaimed.

Then, while the bunny was on the table, an eagle swooped it up, and dropped it right into the barbeque!

"Oh, no!" he cried.

"Easy come, easy go." said Triple H.

"Got that right. Hey, Jericho, you still never paid me for being on the show!" exclaimed Batista.

"Dude. For the last time. You…DO NOT…get paid." he said slowly and clearly. "Ever."

"Ok, then." he replied, casually walking up to Jericho and dropping a heavy weight on his foot.

"OWWWW!" he cried, nearly stumbling over. "All right, let's go check on someone else." he said, glaring at him.

"See ya." Batista smiled.

Meanwhile, Santino's time under the bright lights wouldn't be so good…

"Uh, Tino?" asked the Glamazon.

"Yes-a honey?" he asked.

"Are you wearing sunscreen?" she asked.

"No."

"Any type of lotion?"

"No."

"But Tino, you'll get a horrible sunburn if you just stay like that! See, you're already turning red!" she replied, worried.

"Now honey, I'll-a be-a just fine! I'm-a Santino Marella, right? No tanning-a machine can defeat ME!" he shouted.

"Well, what if I make those lights a little bit hotter?" Kane asked, joining them. "Then, the glass will break from the intense heat, slicing open the very skin that bears your soul. The flames will descend from the lights, burning your body to hell…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed demonically.

They both just stood there, looking frightened.

*crickets*

"…BOO!" Kane cried out.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" the two cried, running away in fear.

While Kane joined Undertaker once again, Jericho dared to join them…

"Hey, the brothers of destruction right here in the flesh! How's it going?" he asked joyfully.

They just glared at him.

"Anything new?" he asked.

Silence.

"Anything?"

*Crickets*

"Guys, you're breaking me here."

"…."

"So…nothing new?" he asked.

"Are you still here?" Undertaker asked, rolling his eyes into the back of his head.

Jericho looked frightened, too. "Oh look, free cinnabuns! Bye bye!" he sped off.

"Idiot." Kane muttered.

Meanwhile, Edge and Melina were creeping around, causing any trouble they could find…

"I missed you so much while I was still at camp." she told him.

"I missed you too, Melina." he replied. "Where'd you go, anyway? You were never even eliminated!"

"I was getting tired of the competition, so I decided to drop out." she replied.

"Well who cares? As long as you're with me." Edge said, kissing her passionately.

"So, what should we do now? Piss off some people? Cause more trouble?" she asked.

"Hmm, sounds tempting. But I have a better idea." said Edge.

"What's that?"

"Let's go have sex." he said quickly.

"I'll get the chocolate!" she cried, rushing to a dark closet.

"Whoo! I got the whipped cream!" he exclaimed, joining her.

Back at the pool area, Candice and Natalya were still fighting…

"Bitch!" Candice cried, trying to drown her.

She splashed up and gasped for air. "Ho!" Nattie snapped back.

"HO?" Candice exclaimed. "That's it!"

Then, they crawled out of the pool where Candice slammed Natalya's head into a table.

Staggering, Nattie got up and shoved Candice roughly against a wall.

"Tramp!" Natalya screamed, running towards her. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Just in time, Candice rolled out of the way, where Natalya forcefully crashed into the wall.

"Haha!" Candice laughed.

As the fight continued, the Glamazon and Santino escaped Kane and saw the action.

"Wow! Cat-a fight!" he exclaimed. "I want-a to be a referee!"

But the girls weren't aware of their presence and continued fighting until Natalya accidentally kicked Santino in the face!

"OW!" he cried. "MY FACE!"

Not seeing what he was doing, he bumped into a wall, and with his sunburned skin, cried out in even more pain. "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! Stop-a the madness!"

"Tino!" cried the Glamazon. "Look what you two did!"

"Oh, BUTT OUT!" Candice and Natalya exclaimed in reply.

Then, they both punched her!

"HEY! Now, you BOTH did it!" the Glamazon yelled as she joined in on the fight.

Jericho walked in and saw the scene. "Whoa, catfight!" he exclaimed.

"OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!" Santino wailed on.

"I'll get you, bitch—tramp!" the girls all shouted.

"Maybe this is a bad time." Chris said, slowly walking away.

Then, he walked into the closet that Edge and Melina were in…

"Hey, guys, I—" he began.

"AAAH!" Melina screamed, covering herself.

"Things are getting good, GET OUT!" Edge cried angrily.

Jericho quickly slammed the door. "Ok, let's check on someone else, shall we?"

Later, he caught up with Mickie and Kelly, who were still chatting by the pool.

"Ladies!" he exclaimed.

They glared at him. "Jericho." they replied.

"How YOU doin?" he asked with a wink.

"We were fine before you got here." replied Mickie.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. So how were your experiences on Total WWE Island?" he asked.

"Oh, there were our ups and downs, and downs…and downs." replied Kelly.

"Yeah. Randy didn't make things any easier, that's for sure." added Mickie.

"True that. So, you two want to make any special shout outs to your guys?" he asked.

"Yeah! Matt, I hope you're watching this, ok? I'm SO proud of you for being in the top 5! It's amazing how much we all went through to even survive this competition. And now that you've made it here, keep on being my number one man! Love you, babe!" Mickie finished.

"Kelly, anything you want to say?" Jericho asked her.

"Yeah. Jeff, I miss you more than you could ever imagine. I wish that I could just see you again, but I will say this: I knew you'd make it to the top 5, I just knew it! I'm so glad you kept your promise to me to stay in the competition." she said, blowing a kiss to the camera. "I love you, Jeff."

Later that evening, everyone met up with Jericho by the pool to discuss the top 5…and Randy.

"Ok, gang. Now that I've caught up with most of you, let's get to the question in our heads: What are your thoughts on the top 5 contestants?"

"Well, on behalf of everyone here, I'd have to say that we cannot stand Randy." announced CM Punk.

"Yeah—yep—of course!" they agreed.

"The man's caused hell ever since he stepped foot on camp!" exclaimed Candice.

"That Randy-de-Orton is a reckless shell of a man!" agreed Santino.

"He's a woman beater! He pushed Tino and I down when we were trying to find camp again!" the Glamazon exclaimed angrily.

"Woman beater?" asked Edge. "How about woman STEALER? The son of a bitch tried to take Melina from me!"

"He's such a no good scumbag!" added Melina. "And that's from the heart."

"I tried to be a friend to him, and what does he do? He USES me? I'm glad that I shot him with that tranquilizer gun!" exclaimed Natalya.

"That jerk tried to tear apart Matt and I!" exclaimed Mickie. "I'll never forgive him for that!"

"And there was the time where he embarrassed me to tears that other day in the cafeteria!" added Kelly. "I didn't even do anything to him!"

"Don't forget the time when we were all canoeing and he got rid of our team's paddles, 'promised' to help us out, and ended up getting us stranded!" exclaimed Punk.

"He got me voted off first." Kane said darkly. "HE MUST PAY."

"So, to answer your question, Jericho, we are all disturbed by the fact that Randy's still in the competition." said John.

"Yeah, I can see that. What about the other four?" he asked.

"Everyone else totally deserves to still be there." replied Candice.

"Except that Michelle." Maryse scoffed. "How in the name of all that is French, is she still there? HOW?" she whacked at her punching bag even harder.

"Hey, you're just jealous that Michelle's way better than you!" cried John.

"Definitely! She's kicked more ass on this show than YOU ever could!" agreed Punk.

"Yeah, when did you get voted off, Maryse, like 4 weeks into the competition?" asked Maria.

"Oh, who asked any of you?" she snapped.

"Anyways, Matt's definitely faced some tough situations." announced Batista.

"Yeah, he had to deal with a 500 lb snake!" exclaimed Triple H.

"He's survived food poisoning!" exclaimed Maria.

"He's a genius at figuring out how to survive a horror movie!" exclaimed Punk.

"He's a tough man, mon!" Kofi exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table where a bandaged Bunny was. Then, poor Bunny went flying in another direction!

"Oh, not again!" he cried.

"Hey, and Shawn's a great leader!" exclaimed Triple H. "I remember that the first day we all came on this show, he led Team Raw in that extreme football game."

"He sent Randy flying in a pot of hot chicken grease during that cooking challenge." laughed Batista. "Orton's eyebrows were burned clean off!"

"Yeah, and that same day, Shawn had enough of him and locked him in the freezer!" added Melina.

"And when he made himself the new head chef of our team, we ended up winning!" exclaimed Maria.

"Yeah, but it seems to me that he and you never got along, Jericho." Punk told him.

"Well, I came out on top, didn't I?" he demanded. "Let's see: I peddled him with turtles while I tied him to a goalpost, I terrorized him with pickles—"

"Which he liked." interrupted Undertaker.

"Anyway, uh…well, there was some other stuff that I did to him in camp, but there's too many to name." he said quickly.

"Yeah, right." replied Cena. "He clocked you the other day with that wooden head of Maryse!"

"Hmph!" she scoffed.

"He chased you all around camp with that rabid raccoon." Punk pointed out. "That was comedy."

"And this isn't even in camp, but he whooped your ass in the ring!" exclaimed Natalya.

"Ok, ok, you've made your damn point!" Jericho cried, annoyed. "Let's talk about someone other than me."

"Now this is the truth, and only the truth." said HHH. "I think that Jeff has the potential to win this whole thing!"

"Totally agreed." replied Candice. "I can't even count the amount of times he's saved Team Smackdown."

"In that contest where we had to stay up all night, he practically made it till the end!" exclaimed Kelly.

"He OWNED Randy in that dodgeball game!" exclaimed Punk. "Even though they, uh, both got creamed at the end."

"Jeff was the only one who could survive that horror movie contest!" smiled Maria. "He kicked that madman's ass!"

"And there was the challenge where he had to face his claustrophobia fear in order to save his team." said Mickie. "He risked his life, and that's what I call commitment!"

"He embarrassed the hell outta Randy when he exposed his darkest secrets during that talent show!" laughed Batista. "That was priceless!"

"And there were just so many times where he was there, and just stood up for me." Kelly smiled, thinking of him. "He totally deserves to be in the top 5."

"If I could just say something." said JBL. "I am the one who deserves to be in the top 5! I am a wrestling GOD! I'm so ANGRY that I was voted off so early!"

"Oh, shut up, will you?" demanded Undertaker. "Your lazy ass didn't even play in that dodgeball game, and that's the reason you're here instead of there."

"Hey, I need to use the restroom." said Edge, who was standing in the pool.

"Well, go ahead, it's two doors down from the right." said Natalya.

He just stood there for a moment and then broke into a smile. "I'm done." he announced.

Candice, Santino, and the Glamazon were all in the pool, too. They each had grossed out looks on their faces and then sped out of the pool.

Suddenly from out of the sky, Bunny came back and landed in Maria's lap.

"YAY, BUNNY!" she cheered.

Kofi snatched it back from her. "No, remember what happened the last time I let you take care of a bunny?" he asked.

"Oh yeah!" she remembered. "Huh?"

"…Ok then." said Jericho. Now that we've all had a fun little discussion, I've got some news."

"You're leaving?" Punk asked, eagerly. "Oh, can it be true?"

He glared at him. "No. Tonight, one camper still leaves Total WWE Island!" he exclaimed. "And the best part is, you all get to vote on who'll leave!"

"I say we vote for Matt so that he can join us." said John.

"No!" exclaimed Candice. "If he's your friend, then you shouldn't vote for Matt."

"I promise, I'll keep Matt there." replied Maria.

"Hey, Maria?" called Punk.

"No, don't vote for me! You have to vote for one of the top 5 like Matt, remember?" she asked.

"Guys! Stop saying Matt!" cried Mickie.

"Matt! *squack* " cried a random parrot that flew by.

"Ok, where'd the bird come from?" asked Edge.

"Listen, that vote didn't count because the parrot said Matt's name!" argued Triple H.

"Matt *squack*!" the parrot said again.

"Got it!" Jericho checked on a piece of paper.

"Got what?" asked Kelly.

"Here's the thing. Nine of you, including the parrot, said Matt's name, so that automatically eliminates him." he explained.

Everyone looked shocked.

"No! But we didn't mean to vote him off!" cried Mickie.

"Yeah, we want Randy off!" agreed Kelly.

"Too late. Chef Big Show, if you're watching, please escort Matt to the yacht of suckers and he'll be here in any moment!" Jericho said to the camera.

Back at camp, everyone stared at the TV in shock, but Randy looked ecstatic.

"That was totally unfair!" cried Michelle. "We had a free day today, and all of a sudden, Matt gets eliminated?"

"I'll kill Jericho when he gets back here, I'll KILL him!" Jeff exclaimed angrily.

"Blame everyone at the hotel!" cried Shawn. "They're the ones who repeated his name!"

Matt still stared at the TV, speechless.

"So, Matty, anything you want to say before you leave?" Randy smiled evilly.

"I—I can't believe this!" he replied angrily.

"Well, time to go, man." Big Show said, escorting him to the yacht.

"Wait!" he stopped him.

"Come on, I have a truckload of Twinkies waiting for me back in the mess hall!" Big Show exclaimed impatiently.

Matt hugged Michelle, shook hands with Shawn, and hugged Jeff. "You guys keep hanging on around here. You'll do great…except for Randy." he said.

"Whatever." Randy replied, still smiling.

"Wait! Aren't you upset?" asked Shawn.

"Yeah, you don't deserve to go like this!" agreed Michelle.

"Are you gonna kick someone's ass?" asked Jeff.

"Yes, I know, and yes." Matt answered for all three of them. "But the fireworks will begin when I join everyone at the hotel. Watch me on TV!" he called, sailing off on the yacht.

They agreed and glued their eyes on the TV, including Big Show with some Twinkies.

"Hey, share those, man!" Jeff exclaimed, snatching one for himself, Shawn, and Michelle.

Back at the hotel…

This was a mistake!" cried Punk. "Jericho, we're serious, we didn't mean to vote off Matt!"

*SLAM!*

Then, the door bursted open and an angry Matt appeared, steaming.

"Too late." Jericho smiled. "I'll be heading back to camp, so nice seeing you all."

Someone tried to throw a shoe at him as he was leaving, but missed.

"Now Hardy, before you say anything, don't attack us. Attack Jericho before he leaves!" exclaimed Undertaker.

*SLAM!*

"Too late." repeated Maria.

Matt just stood there, breathing heavily. "…YOU PEOPLE…." he choked out, pointing an accusing finger.

"So, you're not gonna attack us, are you?" asked Batista.

He shook his head. "NOT YET!" he screamed, charging after them all.

"!*^!*#&^*#&^!*&^!*&^!*&^*!&^*!&!#^#%!" everyone began screaming at once.

All of a sudden, a huge fight broke out!

"Well, what a happy ending this was." Mickie said dully, sipping on her drink.

"Ditto." agreed Kelly.


	23. Episode 23

Total WWE Island – Four Campers and a Coconut

Episode 23

"What's up, my people! This is the codebreaker, Y2J, Chris Jericho with another exciting week of TWI coming right

up! Last week, we took a trip to the Holidae Inn, where we rejoined our eliminated campers and found out what

they were up to after they left the island. We found out that John Cena and CM Punk patched things up after their

past feud with Maria and Michelle, but hey, I really wanted to see a fight! Batista didn't change much, since he kept

asking me for his damn check, and I was the one who ended up getting paid after he crushed my foot! Meanwhile,

Kofi found his long lost bunny, only to have it swooped up by an eagle and dropped into a barbeque, and Triple H

was furious with Big Daddy V after not getting his fill of barbequed treats! Santino and the Glamazon got a scare

from Kane, and when I caught up with him and Undertaker to chat, it seemed like they didn't want me around! How

rude is that? I caught with Mickie and Kelly Kelly, who gave a heartfelt shout out to their guys, Matt and Jeff, while a

sunburned Santino and the Glamazon were caught in the middle of a catfight between Candice and Natalya! Edge

and Melina sneaked off together to do who knows what, Maryse was still after Michelle, and JBL was still the snotty

ass that he was. We discussed the top 5, and found out that pretty much everyone hated Randy, and supported the

other four competitors. But THEN, I revealed the news that someone was still leaving the island, and after

accidentally saying Matt's name several times, everyone made a huge mistake. Back at camp, everyone was

shocked, but Randy was thrilled, and Matt vowed to make his revenge when he arrived at the hotel, which is exactly

what he did! This week, it was a hard thing to pull off, but come on, every day, it's been all bright and sunshiny, and

the campers are getting off way to easy. We're gonna shake things up with a little typhoon! Hahahahahaha!

*lightning strike* WHOA! Ok, you'll find out what I mean next, on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Randy, Jeff, and Michelle were hanging out at Team Raw's campsite that evening…

"Ok, are you two gonna glare at each other all night?" Michelle asked them.

"No, we're having a staring contest, which I'M winning!" exclaimed Randy. "You'll break any second."

"You kidding? Once I kept my eyes wide open for 10 minutes straight!" exclaimed Jeff. "Beat that!"

Randy tried not to, but he ended up blinking.

"HA!" laughed Jeff.

"No, that didn't count! There was something in my eye!" Randy exclaimed.

"Oh, please, what would want to go into those beady little eyes of yours?" Jeff asked.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Randy cried.

"_Attention, campers! Today's forecast will be nothing but rain, rain, and guess what? More rain! Hahahahahaha!...Enjoy the day." _announced Jericho.

And right after he said that, it started pouring rain outside.

"Nice." Jeff said dully. "Now we're all stuck in here for who knows how long."

"I know." Michelle agreed, flopping down on the bed. "Hey, where'd Shawn go, anyway?"

-Hidden Camera-

Shawn: "Unbelievable! I survived another week and I made it to the top four, baby! But I've definitely gotta hand it to Jeff and Michelle. They've been great competitors! But I'm not saying the same for Randy. I'm not even gonna go on about him, but yeah, I believe that Jeff, Michelle, and I have a trust thing going on, you know? I'm glad that they haven't found out about that stash of food that I stole from Big Show. Twinkies, chips, cheese puffs, soda, amazing, huh? *pause* I hope he doesn't find out that I DID take all this stuff. You know what, maybe I've revealed too much. Hmm. I wonder what it is about this outhouse that makes me want to spill everything on my mind. Wonder if it's this rotting cupcake over here."

-Back outside-

Soon after that, everyone headed off to bed, except for Shawn, who was still in the outhouse. The rain continued to pour down, but when the winds picked up and the place began flooding, pieces of the entire campsite started floating away! What would happen to everyone?

The next morning, the rain stopped, and it was a beautiful day outside…

*DING DING!*  
"All right, it's time to eat some crud!" Chef Big Show called out.

*crickets*

"Come on, it's eatable this time!" he called.

*crickets*

Then, Jericho joined him. "Big Show, have you seen anyone, because I can't!" he exclaimed.

"Nope, and that's a damn shame because I just finished picking the rotten pieces out of some tomatoes for them!" he exclaimed.

Jericho searched the entire camp. "Dude! The campers aren't just gone, but so is the entire camp!" he exclaimed. "This is terrible! Those guys could be anywhere by now, hurt, scared, or maybe even worse, I might get sued! C'mon, Big Show, we're going out!"

"Today's gonna be fun." he replied.

Out in the middle of nowhere but water, the campers awoke to find a surprise…

Randy woke up, still yawning, and headed out of the cabin door. And fell right into the water.

Jeff and Michelle groggily woke up.

Jeff climbed down the stairs of the bunk bed, and not knowing it, jumped straight into the water.

Michelle rolled out of bed, right into the ocean.

The three gasped for air.

"What the HELL?" demanded Randy.

Then, two man eating sharks were headed towards Jeff and Michelle!

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed, rushing to join Randy at his cabin.

Just in time, too. The sharks gobbled up their bunk beds quickly!

"Wonderful." Randy said dully.

Meanwhile…

-Hidden Camera-

Shawn: "…Yeah, there was only one cake left, and Triple H and I were literally beating the crap out of each other for it! I superkicked him, of course. So I guess I took the cake! No pun intended. Man, I've been in here all night, haven't I? Better go get something to eat."

-Back outside-

He opened the door and found nothing but water and his competitors a few feet away from him.

HBK looked surprised, backed inside, and slowly closed the door back.

Soon after that, both the cabin and the outhouse floated to a nearby island.

"Ok, where the hell are we?" demanded Michelle.

"Well, this place looks like an island, but not ours." Jeff said, looking out at sea.

"Ok, you know what? This is just another one of Jericho's stupid challenges!" exclaimed Randy.

"No, I think that a rescue team's gonna save us." replied Michelle. "Come on, why would Jericho get rid of us right in the middle of a competition?"

"That's what you think? I think the dumb producers of the show set this up and won't come looking for us." replied Jeff.

"Both of you are wrong!" snapped Randy. "This is one of Jericho's plans! See, this rock is just as fake as everything else here."

Then, he forcefully kicked the rock, but it didn't budge.

"OOOOOOWWWW!" he cried.

-Hidden Camera-

Jerich: "Ok, nobody knows this, but this whole stranded on a deserted island thing is just another setup by me, hahaha. But just a note: the rocks are real. Yes, they are real. Right now, the campers are on their own, and there are no search teams coming to look for them. Big Show and I will be on another secluded part of the island, just seeing how far everyone will go to get back to home base."

-Back outside-

Meanwhile, the outhouse that Shawn was in finally arrived to the island…

He slowly opened the door.

"YEAH!" he cheered, running free until he was face to face with a real dinosaur skull!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, running back inside of the outhouse.

Meanwhile…

"It'd be best if we stayed here until help comes!" argued Michelle.

"But what if nobody gets here? I say we build a raft and paddle our way back to camp." replied Jeff.

"We're already lost as it is! If we go out there, we risk falling in the water to get eaten alive by the sharks, or getting even more lost out there!" she cried.

"We won't know anything until we try, Michelle!" Jeff said seriously. "Who knows? Maybe camp is right around the corner from here and we don't even know it."

Meanwhile, Randy was wandering around when he caught a tree house built in a tall tree.

"Hmm. Wonder what crap's up there." he muttered, climbing up.

When he did get up, a skeleton came out of nowhere and hung right in front of his face!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, then falling out of the tree.

When he hit the ground, he was face to face with the dinosaur skull that Shawn found.

"OH MY GOD!" he screamed in terror as he ran away.

Later, Shawn thought that it safe to come out of hiding, now that he was starving…

"Ok, it was just a T-Rex skull. It's been dead for millions and millions of years, so everything's ok." he told himself.

Then, he caught a bunch of palm trees with coconuts on and around them.

"HBK, you've just hit the jackpot!" he exclaimed happily.

He ran and ate one after another like a crazed maniac!

"SO…GOOD…" he muttered, delirious.

He ate them all until there was one left.

"I don't know where the hell I am, but things are gonna be fine." he told himself with a satisfied smile. "Everything's gonna be fine..."

He looked at the uneaten coconut.

"Hi." he waved.

It rolled towards him.

"I'm Shawn Michaels. And you are?"

No reply.

"Mr. Coconut, you say? Nice to meet you!" he said, dazed, picking up the coconut. "We're gonna be goooooood buddies, you know that?"

Meanwhile…

"Ok, I just saw a friggin' skeleton jump out at me from up there! And then I saw this scary as hell T-Rex head over there!" Randy exclaimed. "I KNOW that Jericho's up to something!"

"NO, a rescue team's gonna come save us!" exclaimed Michelle.

"They aren't, because nobody's gonna even find us here!" argued Jeff. "I don't know about you two, but I'm getting the hell outta here!"

As he walked off, Randy said, "If he's finding a way outta here, then so will I!"

"FINE!" Michelle called after the both of them. "Try not to get your asses bitten off out there! Just TRY to find your way back to camp, while a rescue team'll come and save ME!"

On another part of the island, Randy constructed a bow and arrow made from tree bark.

"Someone oughta find us after I shoot these!" he exclaimed, firing an arrow.

It flew across the island and pierced Mr. Coconut!

"AAAAAHH! I'll save you, Mr. Coconut!" Shawn exclaimed, taking out the arrow and tossing it somewhere else. "Don't worry, papa's here." he continued, cradling the coconut in his arms. "You know what? This place isn't safe anymore! There are probably hunters around here, searching for whatever they can get their grubby little paws on! Well, I'll take care of you, Mr. Coconut. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Meanwhile…

"Where'd that damn arrow go?" asked Randy. "Aw hell, I'll hunt with this." he said, taking out a knife.

Then, he found a ripe bunch of bananas, some apples, berries, and oranges, fixing them up to make a fancy fruit salad. :)

"Excellent." he said, looking at his work. "Ooh!"

He caught a nest with a huge egg inside.

"Wow, dinner and dessert." he said, climbing up the tree. When he reached the top, he caught Michelle up in the tree house, eating some chips.

"Michelle! Where'd you get those?" he demanded.

"From Shawn's secret stash." she replied, munching.

"Well, don't be a pig, give me some!" he exclaimed.

"No! It's every camper for themselves over here! Find your own goodies!" she snapped. "You never know what could happen when we're all alone around here."

Just then…

*ROAR!*

*ROAR!*

"NO! They're coming for us! I'll protect us, Mr. Coconut!" Shawn exclaimed, running back into the outhouse once again.

Meanwhile…

"Do it again, Big Show." said Jericho, who was on a totally different part of the island.

"Ok. *ROAR!*" he growled through a megaphone. "Brunch is ready! Unpeeled potatoes and frozen fries!"

Meanwhile…

"All finished." Jeff said, finishing up his raft.

"Hardy, wait up!" called Randy.

"What?" he demanded.

"Maybe the raft is a good idea. Here. I'll trade you this egg for a place on the raft with you." he said quickly.

He carefully looked at the egg and then agreed. "Fine. But I'm only helping you for the egg. C'mon." he said.

As they both headed out, Michelle saw what was going on and was now alone. "Oh, my God. Why'd they leave without me? I—I can't stay on this island by myself!" she exclaimed in fear. "Oh, if only John were here, or Maria, or Punk. Anyone!"

A few hours later, Shawn and Mr. Coconut left the outhouse, and he didn't look too good. He grew a beard, his clothes were tattered, he looked malnourished, and he was more out of it than before.

"Ok, if they attack, we'll be ready to destroy them." he whispered to Mr. Coconut, also holding a plunger in the other hand.

He walked and walked until he saw the tree house with Michelle still inside.

"I FOUND ONE OF EM!" he announced.

Michelle didn't recognize him and thought that he was a stranger.

"AAAAAAHHH!" she screamed, throwing chocolate bars at him. "Leave me alone, you creep!"

The smell of the chocolate brought Shawn back to reality. "Michelle?" he called.

She took a closer look at him. "Shawn? Is that you?"

"Yeah!" he called back.

She climbed down from the tree and gave him a hug. "I'm so sorry I attacked you like that!"

"Aw, it's no biggie. Hey, where'd you find these chocolate bars, anyway? They look familiar." he said.

"Oh, nowhere." she said quickly.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Randy were paddling out in the sea, but they found their way back to another part of the island…

"Nice steering, Skipper." Randy said sarcastically.

"You know, keep on, and I'll send you right back out there where the sharks can eat you alive!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Whoa, what happened here?" Randy asked, looking at the island.

The island was strewn with leftover coconut skins and was a mess!

"Well, telling by this, it looks like this place isn't deserted after all." replied Jeff.

"Since we didn't get off of the island, THIS is still mine!" Randy said, snatching the egg away from him.

"DUDE!" Jeff cried, playing tug of war with him over the egg.

Then, a huge shadow draped over the two.

They both looked up.

"Holy—" they both began.

A huge pterodactyl swooped Randy and the egg up in the air! "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed.

Jeff grabbed onto Randy's ankles and flew along, too.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried excitedly.

"YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS?" demanded Randy.

"Hey, it's not everyday you're flying 100 ft in the air with a huge bird!" he exclaimed.

A minute later, the pterodactyl dropped them both, and they landed right by the tree house, joining Shawn and Michelle.

"Hey, welcome back!" Shawn exclaimed, giving everyone a group hug.

All of a sudden, a GIANT PYTHON fell from the tree!

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed, speeding up the tree house for safety.

Meanwhile…

"Wow, I wonder how the others are keeping up right about now." said Jericho.

"Well, by now, anything could've happened to them. They could've gotten mauled by bears, fell off of a cliff, or just starved to death." said Big Show. "Either way, they're goners."

"NO!" Jericho exclaimed. "We can't let anything happen to those campers! They're my pride and joy! If anything happens, I'LL lose money, and I'LL have to deal with a damn lawsuit! Check every camera around!"

Big Show saluted to him. "Jericho, your dedication to those campers is just beautiful!" he said, his voice breaking. "You're an inspiration!"

Back on the other side, the four campers were lying down in the treehouse, awaiting their fate…

"You guys think we're gonna die here?" asked Jeff.

"Maybe we will, maybe we won't." replied Shawn. "Since these may be our final hours, I think that we should just clear our heads by confessing all of our sins."

"I'll go first." said Randy. "Those Depends I wear, I buy the double padded ones because you never know when one day's gonna be heavier than another."

Michelle glared at him, thinking about her own feminine 'issues'.

"Sorry." he said quickly.

"No prob. Anyway, I kinda did steal some of your stash, Shawn. I'm sorry." she told him.

"No big deal. Mr. Coconut and the rest of us are finished, anyway." he said. "Do you have any sins, Jeff?"

"Just one. I listened to Santino's ipod, and found out that I actually liked some of the stuff he listened to." he said, traumatized.

"Oh, my God!" the other three exclaimed, sitting up and looking at him in shock.

"I'm sorry." Randy said sincerely.

"I'll live with it." replied Jeff.

Then, Shawn saw some smoke coming from the woods.

"Look over there! Someone might be after us!" he exclaimed.

"Then, we need to be prepared. Guys, find any weapon that you can use! We're headed into battle." Randy ordered.

"But what about him?" Michelle asked, pointing to the python staring up at them.

"Mr. Coconut will handle this. FLY, COCONUT, FLY!" Shawn exclaimed, tossing the coconut at the python, knocking him out cold.

Soon after that, everyone, compete with face paint and their weapons ready, stormed into Jericho and Big Show's camp site.

"Smoke's coming from here. On my call, attack." whispered Shawn.

The other three nodded.

As Big Show walked by, he called, "NOW!"

Everyone leaped out, screaming and whooping war calls. "WOOPWOOPWOOP—OOGABOOGABOOGA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Big Show screamed, falling down with a huge thud.

"Big Show?" everyone demanded in shock.

"Surprise." Jericho said, joining them.

"YOU!" exclaimed Randy.

"Yeah, it's me. And I welcome you all to our top secret production camp!" he smiled.

"How the hell could you two joke around while we could've been out there, possibly dead?" demanded Randy.

Then, it suddenly started pouring rain. Again.

"Uh oh, better get going!" Jericho said, joining Big Show in their trailer.

"HEY!" called Jeff. "We still exist, you know."

"Yeah, this thing has room for 6." replied Chris.

"There are 6 of us altogether, so we can fit in too, right?" asked Michelle.

"No." Jericho said, slamming the door.

The four just stared at the trailer as they were being drenched in rain.

"GEE, what a kind caregiver you are!" Shawn called sarcastically.

Later that night, everyone found their way back to TWI, and it was time for the Campfire of Truth…

"Ok, you guys. What you all just did today out there was really a challenge to test your survival skills." he explained.

"I knew it!" cried Randy. "I knew it was you!"

"Yeah…anyway, you all learned that going your separate ways didn't do a thing for you, but when you all reunited, you worked like a well-oiled machine! Just goes to show that four heads are WAY better than one."

"Uh, you mean FIVE heads?" Shawn said, holding up Mr. Coconut.

"Well, ok then." Jericho said slowly. "Anyway, we'll skip all the voting and get straight to the smores."

"Wait, there are four of those things there. Shouldn't you only have three?" asked Jeff.

"No, I'm right." he said, handing him, Michelle, Randy, and Shawn a smore.

"But…what about Mr. Coconut?" Shawn asked.

"Dude." Jericho said flatly.

"He's MINE! You'll never take him away from me, NEVER!" he shouted crazily.

Then, Jericho managed to wrestle Mr. Coconut out of Shawn's grasp and tossed him in the river.

"YOU—YOU JERK!" Shawn screamed.

"Get a grip, dude." Jericho said, leaving.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shawn cried, dramatically raising his arms in the air and looking towards the sky.

Next, Michelle slapped him across the face.

"Thank you. I needed that." Shawn said calmly.

"No problem!" she smiled.


	24. Episode 24

Total WWE Island – The Fab Four (And A Big Show, Too)

Episode 24

"Hellooooo, TV Land! This is Big Show here, filling in for Chris Jericho. He went to host some awards show, while I'm

stuck here taking care of these brats! Last week, a typhoon storm blew away the camp, sending everyone stranded

in the middle of nowhere. Half of the time there, Shawn spent in the outhouse, while everyone else argued about

how and if they should get off of the island. Shawn had himself a feast of coconuts, and even made a friend of one,

who he named, of course, Mr. Coconut. But HBK was losing it in the process! Michelle spent most of the time alone in

a tree house, while Jeff and Randy decided to sail out on their own. Too bad it didn't work! They landed back on the

same island, but when a huge pterodactyl grabbed Randy's egg, Randy, and Jeff, they eventually met back up with

Shawn and Michelle, who met up after a chocolate bar battle. After a python nearly killed them, they spent the rest

of their time up in the tree house, thinking about whether they'd live or not. But when they saw smoke from a

distance, it was time for action! They found their way to our top secret campsite, and completed the challenge! At

the Campfire of Truth, there were no votes for elimination, and Shawn's beloved Mr. Coconut was the next to go.

This week, I'M the host. How will the Top 4 be able to handle it? I don't know, so shut the hell up and check out

Total WWE Island."

One beautiful morning, the four campers were sound asleep. But they weren't in their cabin…

*WHISTLE!*

Everyone immediately woke up, except for Randy who mumbled in his sleep. "No, no, NO MELINA, I'M NOT A MACHINE!" he screamed, finally waking up.

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" he asked. Then he looked around and found that they were all sleeping on the ground in the middle of the woods. "Hey, wait just a damn minute here!"

"Yeah, where are we NOW?" demanded Michelle. "Why are we sleeping on the ground? I don't even remember us being here before we went to sleep!"

"Hellooooo, my buddies." Big Show said, chopping up a coconut.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute!" exclaimed Shawn. "Is that…Mr. Coconut you're chopping up?"

"Yeah." he said casually.

HBK was about to charge after him when the other three held him back. "HOW COULD YOU?" he demanded.

"It was just a coconut, get over it." Big Show replied. "Now, FALL IN!" he shouted from his megaphone.

"Oh, no. PLEASE don't tell me that we're doing boot camp again." Jeff complained.

"YES, YOU ARE!" he screamed in his face. "NOW, FALL IN, I SAID!"

Everyone quickly scurried in a straight line.

"Ok, here's what's up. Jericho's not here today—" he began.

"WHOOOOOOOO!" they cheered.

"SHUT UP, MAGGOTS!" he shouted.

Silence.

"Now, as I was saying, he's not here today, but I am! You guys are all stranded here, because of your next challenge. Today, I'll split you up into pairs, and with only a few supplies, both teams need to use those supplies to find their way back to base camp, understood?" he asked.

"Sir, yes, sir." they muttered.

"WHAT?"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" they shouted.

"Good. Now, here are your teams. Michelle and Jeff, you'll be one team, and Shawn and Randy, you'll be another."

"Oh, joy." Shawn said dully.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "You know, I was pretty damned glad to be paired with Shawn. At least if a bear attacks, it'll have someone to dip in some honey mustard sauce."

Shawn: "Randy, you jerk!"

-Back outside-

"Jeff, Michelle, you two get a map and some food." Big Show said.

"That sounds good." she replied.

"And Shawn and Randy, you two get some toilet paper and a compass. Any questions?"

"Yeah, what the hell are we supposed to do with some damn toilet paper?" demanded Randy.

"DON'T YOU SPEAK TO ME IN THAT TONE!" he screamed in Orton's face. "Now, the two of you need to find something to do with your supplies. You guys have brains, so USE THEM! Now, FORWARD, MARCH!"

Everyone scurried away as Big Show screamed to Shawn, "Left, left, left, RIGHT, left, MOVE IT, BOY!"

"Ok, can you not rupture my eardrum?" asked Shawn.

"GET MOVING!" he screamed.

"FINE! Coconut killer." he muttered, running off.

"And while they're gone, I'm gonna do some snooping, haha." Big Show chuckled.

Out in the woods, Jeff and Michelle carefully searched the map, but something out there carefully studied them…

"Ok, we're here. And we need to go 2 miles…east." she said, uncertainly.

"No, I think we gotta go that way." Jeff said, pointing west.

"But I remember that tree over there shaped like a boot, somewhere near our camp!" she argued.

"That's not shaped like a boot." he replied.

"Turn your head sideways." she told him.

He did just that, and said, "Oh, yeah. I guess you're right. Let's go."

"Woo!" she cheered, leading the way.

But as soon as they headed off, toilet paper shot out, wrapped around the two, and trapped them together!

"AAAAAHH!" they both screamed.

"Oh, they're not it." Shawn said from a distance.

"What's it?" asked Michelle.

"Didn't you see a flyer saying that Bigfoot was on the loose?" he asked.

Jeff and Michelle just looked at each other and then bursted out laughing.

"Ok, that's a good one, man." Jeff chuckled.

"We're serious! See?" Randy exclaimed, holding up a piece of paper.

"'Warning: Bigfoot is on the loose and ready to destroy anything in its path. So watch out for him…or else.'" read Michelle.

"Yeah, sure we will." Jeff said sarcastically. "What's he gonna do? Monster Mash us?"

Michelle laughed, while Randy grew serious.

"Yeah, laugh it up now. But in the meantime, we'll be safe back at camp while you two end up as road kill! Let's go, Shawn." he said.

"Later, you two. Don't get killed out there." he said, joining Randy.

"Well, let's keep going before 'Bigfoot' eats us." Michelle said sarcastically.

"I'd believe in dust bunnies more than I'd ever believe in Bigfoot." Jeff agreed as they headed off.

Back at camp, Chef Big Show was sitting at the edge of the dock, reading some comic books…

"Hahahaha!" he laughed. "Man, that Garfield cracks me up! Well, that's all of em. Now, let's see what the final four campers have stashed away."

Soon after that, he arrived at their cabin, and broke inside.

"Now to find some goodies." he snickered.

After that, he tore apart everyone's bunks and rummaged around for their things…

Meanwhile, Shawn and Randy walked up to a nearby lake.

"Ok, this obviously isn't our camp." said Shawn. "Unless we were fish. You know what kind of fish I'd like to be?"

"No." Randy said, still searching around.

"Never mind fish, I'd like to be a killer shark!" he continued.

"Dude—" began Randy.

"Yeah, everyone would fear me!" Shawn continued.

"Shawn—"

"I'd be the dominant species of the sea! I'd be on the cover of that Starkist can, instead of that whale." he continued.

"SHAWN!" Randy screamed.

"What?" he demanded.

"Look!" he cried, pointing to a plate of steak that was on the ground.

They looked at each other. "FOOD!" they exclaimed, rushing to the plate.

"Hey, get away, it's mine!" Shawn exclaimed, playing tug of war with the steak.

"WHAT? I was the one who found it! It's mine!" Randy argued.

But as they were arguing, a net was on the ground below their feet, and it suddenly rose up, trapping Randy and Shawn inside!

"WHAT THE HELL!" Randy screamed.

"Awesome, our trap worked!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Trap?" demanded Shawn. "You mean for the Bigfoot?"

"So, you DO believe us!" smiled Randy.

"No ,we just wanted to pay you guys back to TP-ing us." replied Michelle.

"Yeah, and now that we did that, we'll be on our way now." added Jeff. "Later."

"HEY!" screamed Randy. "Get back here and untie us!"

"Mmm! This is some juicy steak!" Shawn exclaimed, munching along.

Randy just glared at him.

Back at camp, Big Show found some of the campers' possessions…

"Oh, this is great!" he exclaimed. "Randy's diary, Michelle's facial cream, Jeff's nail polish, and Shawn's stash of food! Hahahahaha! But this food looks awfully familiar. Oh, well." he said, heading off somewhere with the stuff.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Michelle were still searching around, until they'd hit an unexpected place…

"All right, there's no way we live in a cave." Jeff said dully.

"Yeah! We followed the map, which was supposed to lead us back to camp! I don't know what went wrong." agreed Michelle.

"Hmm. You think this cave might be some kind of shortcut, maybe?" he asked.

"Well, we won't know until we try. Let's go!" she exclaimed.

Soon after they went in, Shawn and Randy found the cave, too.

"Seriously, how'd we end up here?" asked Randy.

"It's a price you pay for when you got a dime store compass like this one." Shawn said, throwing it to the ground.

"Yeah, that piece of crap's useless!" Randy agreed, stomping on it. "All right, let's go inside."

Jeff and Michelle went too far in the cave, when Randy and Shawn bumped into them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" they all screamed.

"How'd YOU get here?" Jeff and Randy asked at the same time.

"Our crappy map led us here!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Really, well, our crappy compass led us here!" replied Randy.

"You guys aren't gonna trap us again, are you?" asked Michelle.

"We didn't even mean to trap you in the first place!" exclaimed Shawn. "It was for Bigfoot, remember?"

"Dude, enough with this Bigfoot mumbo jumbo!" exclaimed Jeff. "He's just a myth, ok? He's only real in stories! He's not gonna just pop outta nowhere and start to attack us!"

"Ok, I know that it's dark in here, but why in the name of all that's good is there someone's tongue in my ear?" demanded Michelle.

Silence.

"Michelle, none of us would ever be so dirty." replied Shawn.

"Yeah, there's no one's tongue in your ear. Except for those bats." Jeff said calmly.

Then, everyone turned dead silent.

"BATS? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed, escaping the cave.

-Hidden Camera-

Michelle: "Ok, NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY ever sticks their tongue in my ear!...Except for John, of course. *giggles* "

-Back outside-

"I'm eatin Twinkies in the morning!" Big Show sang happily, reading Randy's diary, using Michelle's facial cream, eating Shawn's food, and using Jeff's nail polish. "Ding dong, those cakes are gonna be mine! Hey, I just got a great idea! I'm in the mood for some sticky buns! I'm gonna whip some up right now! WHOO!" he cheered, running off.

Back in the woods, everyone, exhausted, was still walking along…

"What the hell are we supposed to do now?" demanded Jeff. "That compass didn't work, this map's useless, and all we have left is T.P.? We're screwed."

"Well, at least we still have something to eat." said Michelle. "You still got that bag of food?"

"Yeah, right here." he said. "We never even got to see what was inside."

He laid everything out on a picnic table, and it didn't look so good.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Randy. "Is that even eatable?"

"I-I don't know! Is ham supposed to be green?" asked Michelle.

"Not unless you add green eggs." Jeff said, shaking his head.

"Good God!" Shawn cried, picking up a bowl of…something.

"Whoa, is that some kind of lab experiment gone wrong?" demanded Randy.

He lifted off the lid. "HOOFA!" he exclaimed, wincing.

"Dump that crap, man!" cried Jeff. "Or else, WE'RE gonna die!"

Randy walked ahead. "Well?"

"Well, what?" asked Michelle.

"Are you coming with me or not?" he asked.

"Just to toss a bowl of crap off of a cliff?" asked Shawn. "Rand, you're a big boy now."

"No, I don't want to go on my own because Bigfoot might attack me on the spot!" he exclaimed.

Jeff got angry. "For the last time, there is NO Bigfoot, damn it! He is a myth, I told you! People tell these fake stories about him all the time! So can you get a clue and knock it off with this nonsense?" he demanded.

Everyone was silent.

"What?"

They didn't stare at him, but the shadow that grew over him.

Then, Jeff looked nervous and slowly looked up.

An actual Bigfoot was there, looking more angry than ever!"

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "That thing's gonna murder me, isn't he? …Crap. "

-Back outside-

He slowly looked back down. "Oh, you're real. And I guess you heard me talking all that crap about you, huh?" he asked it.

It breathed down on him.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry. No hard feelings?" he asked nervously.

Then, the Bigfoot slowly walked towards them all.

"We believe you now!" Michelle cried. "Please, PLEASE don't kill us!"

After that, the Bigfoot went from walking, to charging after them.

"RUN, DAMN IT!" Randy cried, leading the gang away.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" it screamed as it was charging on all threes.

"Where do we go now?" cried Shawn.

"I don't know! Keep running, all right?" Randy called back.

As the Bigfoot was getting closer and closer to them, Jeff found a hollow log up ahead.

"Quick, you guys! He won't get us if we hide in there!" he announced.

They all followed his plan and scurried into the log.

"Great idea, Jeff!" exclaimed Michelle.

"Yeah, ol Bigfoot'll never fit in here!" agreed Shawn.

"Well, at least we got ourselves a decent hiding spot. Other than that, we're still gonna be road kill, we're still probably miles away from camp, and Big Show's probably celebrating his ass off!" exclaimed Randy.

Then, the log started rocking.

"O-Ok, what's going on now?" asked Michelle.

Outside, Bigfoot was rocking the log around, trying to shake things up.

Then, it managed to roll down, sending everyone speeding down a hill!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Michelle, Shawn, and Randy all screamed in terror.

"YEAH! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jeff cheered happily.

"Dude, you're enjoying this, too?" demanded Randy.

"Don't I always?" he smiled.

A few minutes later, the log stopped rolling once it bumped into a tree, and Bigfoot finally left…

They all peeked their heads out of the log.

"Is he finished?" asked Michelle.

"I-I think so." replied Shawn. "Everyone all right?"

"Yeah—I think so." they replied.

"Ok, now that we've had this fun little experience, let me ask you this question: Do you believe in Bigfoot NOW?" demanded Randy.

"I do!" Michelle cried, scared.

"Good. What about you, Jeff?" he asked.

"All right, I admit it. He's real, and you guys told the truth." he replied. "Can we just keep on looking for camp now?"

"Yeah, let's go!" exclaimed Shawn.

Everyone sped as fast as they could, and finally, a part of the island became visible!

"Oh, my God!" exclaimed Michelle. "We're almost there!"

"Yeah! C'mon, Michelle, let's win this!" Jeff exclaimed, taking her along.

"Let's go, Shawn, we gotta win this before THEY do!" Randy said, dragging him along.

Big Show was cooking up some sticky buns and saw everyone headed back to camp. "Aw, they're here already? Damn!" he muttered.

Jeff and Michelle were close to the finish line, but Randy and Shawn sped past them and won instead!

"YEAH!" Randy cheered.

Then, instead of celebrating, Shawn rushed to the sticky buns and munched them all up. "Aw wow, this is superb!" he exclaimed.

"HEY! Those were mine!" Big Show shouted. "You know what, since you just did that, you and Randy lose invincibility for today!"

Randy stopped cheering. "WHAT? Shawn, what the hell was that? We won the race, but you had to ruin it all!" he cried.

He kept chewing. "Whatever."

"Hey, is that my DIARY?" Randy cried to Big Show.

"Yeah." he replied.

"AGH! How the hell do people keep finding this thing?" he demanded.

"Well, just find another hiding place. Just not under your bed." said Jeff.

"Or in your sock drawer." added Michelle.

"Or in that putrid boot of yours." added Shawn.

"Aw, you ALL looked?" he cried. "AGH!"

"Is that my cream, Big Show?" demanded Michelle.

"Yeah, and it's very exfoliating, too!" he exclaimed. "Leaves you silky smooth."

She snatched it away from him.

"And isn't that my black nail polish?" demanded Jeff.

"Yeah, I used them to paint my toenails." Show replied. "You can have it back now."

He made a face. "Keep it." he insisted.

"Ok then. You all know that someone's getting eliminated tonight, so let's head over to the Campfire, shall we?"

Later that night, they all met at the Campfire of Truth…

"Ok, instead of all that voting stuff, I'LL choose who's going home tonight." Big Show said with a smile.

"Oh, that's sweet." Randy said dully.

"ATTEN-HUT! Ok, eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers, let him go. My mother says to pick the very best one and you are not…not, not it!" he exclaimed, pointing towards Shawn.

"WHAT?" he demanded.

"NO!" cried Michelle and Jeff.

"Well, whaddya know! It's Shawn!" Big Show exclaimed.

"Why couldn't you vote Randy off?" demanded Jeff. "Come on, man!"

"Hey, I'm in charge today, I make the rules!...AND he ate my sticky buns, so that's why!" he exclaimed. "Well, time to say your goodbyes, Shawn. The yacht's waiting for you."

Michelle ran up and hugged him first. "Shawn, you don't deserve to go, either!" she exclaimed.

"Aw, I won't get upset. I made it to the final four! That's reward enough as it is." he replied.

Jeff shook his hand. "You've been awesome here, man. We'll miss you around here." he said sincerely.

"Thanks, man. But don't get disappointed. I'll be back sooner than you think!" he exclaimed, heading for the yacht.

Jeff and Michelle waved goodbye to him while Randy smiled.

"And then there were three." he said with a laugh, heading off.

But when he turned around, there was an 'I'm a sissy' sign taped to his back.

They tried to stifle their laughter.

"Well, that's sweet." Jeff said, laughing.

"Oh, Shawn, you are too much." Michelle smiled.


	25. Episode 25

Total WWE Island – It's the Final Countdown!

Episode 25

"What's up, world? This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, Y2J, Chris Jericho! And I'm back and better than

ever! You know why? We're down to our top 3! But first, let's recap. Last week, Big Show took over as he awakened

our campers in another unfamiliar place! It turned out to be the starting place for yet another challenge, in which

everyone was broken up into pairs and had to find their way back to camp, with not so useful supplies. Jeff and

Michelle were one team, while Shawn and Randy were another. HBK wasn't too thrilled about that! Michelle and Jeff

ended up in a forest, but were trapped together once Randy and Shawn attacked them with toilet paper! Turns out

that they weren't the target, but a Bigfoot was! Hardy and McCool didn't believe a word of it, and walked off.

Meanwhile, Orton and Michaels approached a river, but it turned into a tug of war when they found a nice, juicy

steak in the middle of nowhere! But the war ended once the two were caught in a trap set by Jeff and Michelle for

revenge! Later, both teams met up in a cave where they were eventually chased out by bats! And when Randy

brought up the topic of Bigfoot yet again, Jeff wasn't hearing it. While he told everyone off once and for all that there

was no Bigfoot, the REAL one caught them! As they hid for cover in a log, Bigfoot caught them, rolled them away,

and they were soon closer to home base. As both teams ran towards the finish line, Randy and Shawn made the

win, but lost invincibility when Shawn munched up Big Show's sticky buns. After that, it was Campfire of Truth time,

and instead of voting anyone off, Big Show cast the deciding vote. The result: HBK was eliminated next. But that

didn't stop him from calling Randy a sissy, haha. This week is the semifinals! What do our final three have to endure

to secure a spot for themselves in the finals next week? Find out next on Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

Everyone, who was in their rightful cabin this time, were sound asleep when…

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me in the cafeteria for a deelish breakfast!"_ announced Jericho.

"Oh, great." Randy said dully. "What's it gonna be this time? Plastic?"

"Nope. We had that for breakfast last week." replied Jeff.

A few minutes later, they returned back to the cafeteria…

"Hellooo, top 3! You excited to make it this close to $500 grand?" asked Jericho.

"I'd be more excited if you weren't here." replied Randy.

"Hmm. It's not the same when you try to put me down. I got so used to Shawn dissing me every day. I'm actually gonna miss that." he replied. "Anyways, for making it to the semifinals, you all get rewarded with an all you can eat pancake breakfast!"

"WHOOOOO!" Michelle and Jeff cheered while Randy smiled.

"Great! They'll be right out." he said, heading back into the kitchen.

In there, Big Show was preparing them, with almost expired byproducts! He flipped one, but it ended up sticking to the ceiling.

"Aw, damn." he muttered, using a dirty shovel to scrape it off.

Jericho looked along. "Eh, good enough." he said, looking at the filthy pancake.

"Yeah, they'll never know." Big Show agreed. "Besides, I think I used that thing to scrape away that dead rat that's been behind the fridge for the last 2 years."

"Dude, you're sick!...I like that." Jericho said with a smile.

Later…

"Yay, food!" cheered Michelle.

"Yep. Eat up, you guys!" exclaimed Chris.

Everyone ate theirs, but Jeff noticed that his had dirt on one side of them.

"Oh, and it has to be me." he said dully, tossing the soiled pancakes on the floor.

"ALL YOU CAN EAT, BABY!" Michelle exclaimed, munching wildly.

The guys looked at her.

"Michelle, calm down before you give yourself a hernia or something." said Jeff.

"But I'm excited! I need more of these!" called to Big Show.

He gave her some more, and then approached Randy.

"What do you want from my life?" he demanded.

Then, Big Show dumped a whole pile of pancakes on him, sending Randy to the ground!

"What—WHAT THE HELL?" he demanded.

"That was revenge for Shawn stealing my sticky buns." Show replied.

"What does that have to do with me?" he cried.

"I just don't like you." he replied with a smile.

Randy looked on evilly as he silently munched his breakfast.

-Hidden Camera-

Jeff: "Man, that Orton is SO unappreciative! He gets more grub than he can handle, and he's complaining? And I get stuck with dirt covered crap?"

Randy: "Well, now there's only three of us left. And I'm planning to get rid of Hardy next. Besides, he always seems so moody and temperamental, so maybe that'll distract him from the competition and he might not last this week. Anyway, he's always been the good guy, everyone's hero. But never me! I've done things that nobody ever even attempted to do! So you decide who really deserves to be in the finals."

Jeff: "I swear, I'm THIS close to attacking Orton with a hot glue gun! We have one of those here, you know."

Randy: "This contest is all mine. HAHAHAHAHA!"

Michelle: "Pancakes are SO delicious! And after all the crap that we had to stomach all this time, these things are like gold! I could eat them all day! But there is one thing that I take seriously. Pancakes are worthless without your friends to share them with. Just saying! :D "

-Back outside-

After breakfast was over, they met Jericho and Big Show at the auditorium….

The three were in a game-show like contestants' row, and Big Show wore a blonde wig and was dressed in a sparkly pink dress.

"Ok, is Big Show becoming a tranny or something?" Jeff asked, chuckling. "Just a tip. He doesn't look that hot in drag."

Michelle and Randy laughed along.

Big Show just glared at him.

"Ok, he's not doing drag. He's my lovely assistant for our next challenge!" Jericho exclaimed, revealing a giant wheel with all the eliminated campers' pictures on them, with a bottle in the middle of it.

"Ok, the producers of the show ran out of ideas for another challenge, so they asked the voted off campers for suggestions, and they had so many, that we just had to do it this way. So today, you're gonna be playing Truth or Dare, except that there's no Truth in this game. You'll each spin the bottle and whoever's face you land on, determines what dare you have to do. Now here's the thing. You can choose to either do the dare yourself, and win a 'get out of a dare' freebie, which is a soda cap, or you can pass the dare to someone else. Whoever refuses to do their dare, automatically gets eliminated. Got it?" he explained.

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"GREAT!" he exclaimed.

-Hidden Camera-

Jericho: "Ok, Big Show and I have a side bet going on. The first one who pukes today has to pay the other $100. I'm gonna be rolling in dough, hahaha."

-Back outside-

"So, Jeff, you're lucky number 1. Come up and spin the bottle!" exclaimed Jericho.

"Oh, won't this be fun." he said dully, spinning the bottle.

The bottle slowed to a stop and landed on a picture of CM Punk.

"All right, Punk's dare for you is to...wow. Lick Big Show's armpit." Jericho read from a card.

Jeff turned to one of the cameras. "Punk, you're a sicko, you know that?" he asked.

"Are you gonna take the challenge, or pass it to someone else?" he asked.

He glanced at Randy and smiled evilly. "I believe that Randy would like a try at it." he said.

Randy turned red as he stepped up. "Hardy, I am going to get you for this!" he screamed.

"You better just focus on not dying from what you're about to do." Jeff replied, still smiling.

Then, Randy nervously moved towards Big Show's armpit.

"Don't be scared, Randy. Just imagine licking an ice cream cone." said Big Show. "Minus the B.O."

After that, Randy did the worst and started licking.

"…And the pit hairs, too." he finished.

Then, Randy stopped mid lick and began going into convulsions!

Later, after he recovered, it was his turn to spin the wheel.

"All right, Rands. You ready?" asked Chris.

He just glared at him and spun the bottle. The bottle slowed to a stop, and landed on a picture of Kane.

"Ok, Kane's dare for you, Randy, is to chew your own toenail, slowly." said Jericho. "Do you want to take this one, or—"

"This is Jeff's dare!" Randy said quickly.

Jeff shot him a look. "Should've saw that coming." he replied.

"Ok, you know what you have to do now." said Jericho.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it." he said, taking off his shoe.

Then, Big Show clipped off a part of his nail. "You paint your toes, too?" he said, looking at the purple nail polish.

"Yeah, it's a habit." he replied.

Then, he ate it.

"Up, bup, bup!" interrupted Randy. "You have to chew it SLOWLY, remember?"

Jeff glared at him and did what he was told.

After that, it was Michelle's turn to spin the bottle. She spun, and the bottle stopped on a picture of Candice.

"Candy!" she exclaimed.

"All righty, Michelle. Candice is daring you to …*blinks*…re chew a piece of Santino's old gum." Jericho said, shocked.

"UGH!" Jeff and Randy cried, grossed out.

"You want to take this one or give it away?" he asked.

"I'll take it." she accepted.

Everyone stared at her like she was crazy.

"Wow. Well, here you go." Jericho said, hesitantly giving her the gum.

"This thing must be pretty special if Santino was saving it." she said.

And then, she actually chewed it!

"Mmm! It's citrus, juicy, chewy, with…a crunchy center." she announced.

Both Big Show and Jericho were about to barf, while Michelle started blowing a huge bubble.

It got bigger and bigger until…

*POP!*

She was totally covered in the mess.

"Well…great job, Michelle. You get a freebie." Jericho said, giving her one. "You want a tetanus shot to go with that?"

Next, Jeff was up again to spin the bottle. It slowed down and landed on a picture of Batista.

"Ok, Batista's dare for you is to stuff a tray of ice cubes down your underwear, and let them melt. You want this one?" asked Chris.

"Eh, it doesn't seem too bad. I can handle this one." he replied.

Then, Big Show took a tray full of ice cubes, and stuffed them down Jeff's underwear.

It didn't take long for them to kick in.

"AAAH! OH! EEE! OOH! AGH!" he cried out, jumping around in circles.

Randy smiled evilly as Michelle was still peeling the leftover gum off of her.

Then, melted ice slid down Jeff's leg.

"Boy, that's brisk." he said finally.

Later…

"Ok, I'll take this next dare, whatever it is, I don't give a damn. I am NOT gonna let Jeff get ahead of me!" Randy exclaimed, spinning the bottle.

The bottle slowed to a stop and landed on a picture of Triple H.

"All right, Randy. Since you really wanted this one, here's your dare. Triple H dares you to eat grape jelly from out of Big Show's bellybutton." said Jericho.

Randy's eyes grew big. "What?"

"Come on, Randy. You don't want me to win dominance over you…unless you're chicken." Jeff taunted.

He glared at him and said, "Bring it on!"

Big Show poured nine spoonfuls of grape jelly into his bellybutton and said, "It must suck getting two dares like this, huh?"

"Oh, shut up." Randy muttered, grossed out.

He gathered all the strength he could, and dug in. The camera didn't air this part, but after a few minutes, it returned to show Randy looking sick, with jelly all over his mouth. Then, he collapsed. Afterwards, Jericho put him on life support, while Big Show handed everyone some peanut butter and JELLY sandwiches. Seeing this, Orton, with an oxygen mask on, threw up.

Michelle was up again, and she spun the bottle…

It slowed to a stop, landing on a picture of John Cena.

"John!" Michelle exclaimed happily.

"All right, Michelle. John's dare for you is to give a purple nurple to a sleeping bear." said Jericho. "Sounds dangerous. Want to take it?"

"If it's from my boyfriend, sure!" she exclaimed. "Wait, what's a purple nurple?"

Jeff whispered what it was to her.

"…Oh." she said unsurely.

Soon, she went into the woods, found a bear, and performed a purple nurple on it.

A few minutes later…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I don't like purple nurples!" she exclaimed, escaping from the bear that was chasing after her.

After that, Jeff was up again to spin the bottle. It slowed to a stop and landed on a picture of Santino.

"Ok, Jeff, Santino's dare for you is to lick Big Show's toe jam." said Jericho. "You up for it?"

His eyes bugged out. "HELL no! I may have done some crazy things in my life, but I have my limits. It's all you, Randy." he said, looking at him.

"I almost died dealing with Big Show twice, I'm not doing it again!" Randy exclaimed, tossing his freebie to Jericho.

"If that's what you guys want." he replied. "Ok, Randy, you're next."

He spun the bottle, which landed on a picture of Maria.

"Randy, Maria's dare for you is to drink powdered fruit punch from out of the toilet! You want this one?" he asked.

"I think this one is way more suited for Jeff." Randy smirked.

Jeff was about to give away his freebie, but decided not to. "Ok, let's just get this over with." he sighed.

After that, everyone was in one of the bathrooms, while Jeff tied his hair back.

Jericho poured in the fruit punch and mixed it in the water with a dirty plunger. "Good grief!" he cried, looking grossed out. "That's lethal. Ok, Jeff, whenever you're ready."

He took a straw, stuck it inside, and took a large slurp. A second later, he started to turn green and threw up!

Back outside, Michelle was about to spin the bottle, as Jeff miserably buried his head in his arms. Randy said, "Well, looks like Kelly Kelly won't want to do any liplocking with you for a loooong time! She just might need a fumigation squad with her!"

Then without saying a word, he let out a huge…

"BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Randy's temperature rose and then his face blew up. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was his eyes and a charred stick for a head (cartoon style).

Meanwhile, Michelle spun the bottle, and it landed on a picture of Matt.

"Yay, I got Matt!" she exclaimed.

"Yep, and his dare to you is to eat a can of cat food! Do you want this one?" he asked.

"Sure!" she exclaimed.

"Heh?" Randy and Jeff exclaimed, looking shocked.

"Michelle, you sure? You know, you still have two freebies that you could use, or better yet, challenge an opponent!" exclaimed Chris.

"I know, but I've seen all those Fancy Feast commercials on TV, and they're made with steak and chicken and things like that. So it shouldn't even taste too bad." she replied.

He just made a face and said, "A beautiful woman with serious issues."

Then, Big Show gave her a plate of the stuff, and before anyone said go, she dug in.

"Wow! She's beast!" Jeff exclaimed.

Michelle was already finished and politely patted her mouth with a napkin. "Finished." she replied.

Jericho couldn't take any more, and threw up!

"HA! Give me my money, Jericho!" Big Show demanded.

He handed him the $100 and soon after that, Big Show barfed, too.

"Aw, hell no." Randy and Jeff said at the same time, running away to do the same.

All day long, the dares continued. People had to do dares such as dressing up like a baby, kissing a dead fish, and wrestling an alligator! But after 20 grueling rounds, Michelle had 20 freebies, Jeff still had one, and Randy had none…

"Hey, Michelle, don't you think that this contest is dragging on a little too long?" asked Jeff.

"Now that you mention it, it is." she agreed.

"Yeah! So I'll make you a deal that you couldn't refuse. Help me take Randy down, and I guarantee you, I'll give you half my prize money if I win. If I don't win the money, I'll buy you anything you want." he explained. "What do you say?"

"So, I could either get $250 grand or…a waterbed, right?" she asked.

"Sure, if that's what you want. But you need to help me finish Randy first, ok?" he asked.

She shook his hand. "You have yourself a deal, my friend." she replied. "Take some of my freebies. It'll help you out."

"Thanks, Michelle." Jeff said gratefully.

"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!" exclaimed Randy. "They shouldn't be allowed to do that!"

"Sorry, Orton. But there are no rules against that." replied Jericho.

After that, Jeff spun the bottle again, and it landed on a picture of the Glamazon.

"Uh oh." he said.

"Ok, Jeff, the Glamazon's challenge to you is to drink a blended puree of Chef Big Show's mystery meat!" exclaimed Jericho. "You up for it, or do you want to pass the torch to someone else?"

He smiled evilly and looked back at Randy. "Oh, Randy?" he called.

"Aw, HELL!" he snapped. As Randy hesitantly drunk the mess, he suddenly remembered some of the other times where he had to deal with mental nightmares on the island, such as swimming with leeches, pretending to be a chicken, slapping himself, eating a cockroach, having his diary stolen, kissing one of Big Show's socks in a sock puppet play of the Princess and the Frog (guess who was the princess?), and getting a bucket of mud dumped on his head before being fired out of a cannon and into a mud pile.

After some MORE dares, Jeff was up again, spun the bottle, and it landed on a picture of Edge.

"Wow, Edge couldn't possibly come up with a good dare even if he tried." Randy muttered.

"Ok, Jeff, Edge's dare is to have your head shaved by Chef Big Show." said Jericho. "Are you gonna do this one?"

"Are you kidding? Number 1: My nickname is the Rainbow HAIRED warrior, and number 2: I'm not letting Big Show anywhere near my head with a razor! This is all yours, Orton." he replied.

"WHAT?" he demanded. "I can't get my hair shaved!"

Then, Chris forced him in a barber's chair, while Big Show approached him with the razor.

"Who's ready for a little snip snip?" he taunted.

"L-Leave me alone!" Randy said, truly scared.

"Randy, here's what's at stake. You have your head shaved to stay in the game, or you keep your hair and get the hell outta here. Your choice." said Jericho.

Then as Big Show was about to shave his head, Randy freaked out and kicked the razor out of his hands.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Orton screamed.

The razor flew in the air, and then landed on his head!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed in terror. The chair he was in fell backwards as hair flew here and there. A few minutes later, the chair was upright again, revealing Randy, who was left with only a few hairs on his head. He was completely in shock.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jeff and Michelle laughed hysterically.

"Guess what, Randy? You've just been eliminated because you didn't accept the dare in the first place." Jericho smiled.

"YES!" Jeff and Michelle high fived one another.

"WHAT?" Randy demanded angrily. "But…but…I got my head shaved, damn it! I CAN'T LEAVE! I JUST CAN'T!"

His screams could be heard all the way to the Holidae Inn!

"I told you Orton was a sissy." Shawn told Triple H.

"Amen to that." he agreed.

Back at camp, Jericho and Big Show escorted Randy to the yacht of suckers.

As the yacht sailed away, Randy yelled, "I'LL SUE YOU ALL FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!"

"Na na na na, na na na na, hey, hey, hey, GOODBYE!" Michelle sang.

"Well, Jeff, Michelle, I see that you're happy that he's gone." said Jericho. "And you'll be even happier when I say, welcome to the finals, you guys!"

"YES!" they both cheered, hugging each other.


	26. Episode 26

Total WWE Island: Winner Takes All!

Episode 26

"Hey, everyone! This is the Madonna of Sports Entertainment, the ayatollah of rock and rolla, the codebreaker, Y2J,

Chris Jericho! It's a beautiful morning here at the island for the final, most dramatic episode of TWI yet! Last week,

the semifinals brought out the true rivalry between Jeff and Randy, while the contest was a Dare match, where

everyone had to do a dare based on the eliminated campers' ideas. Jeff had to do dares such as eating a part of his

own toenail, having his underoos filled with ice cubes, and drinking fruit punch out of a toilet! Michelle had to chew

Santino's pre-chewed gum, which she LIKED, give a bear a purple nurple, and ate cat food! And did I mention that

she LIKED it all? And if you thought that those dares were gross as hell, just wait until you hear what Randy had to

do! He had to lick Big Show's armpit, giving himself a seizure, eat grape jelly out of Show's bellybutton, causing him

to be connected to life support, drink a blended puree of Chef Big Show's mystery meat, and then came the worst

dare of all, by none other than his nemesis, Edge: shave his head. Randy refused, but ended up getting his head

shaved anyway. And after that, he was FINALLY eliminated from the competition, sending Jeff and Michelle to the

finals! So this week, who will win the $500,000? Michelle McCool, the girl who's had her heart broken, found a new

love in John Cena, and also spent most of the time catfighting with her enemies? Or will it be Jeff Hardy, the guy who

defended his crush, Kelly Kelly from the likes of Rated RKO, saved his team from defeat, and isn't afraid of anything

or anyone? After a grueling 26 weeks of competition, one of these two will be the winner of Total…WWE…Island!"

* * *

At their campsite, Jeff and Michelle hung around outside, waiting for their last challenge…

"I just can't believe that we made it to the finals!" exclaimed Michelle. "We were able to outlast 22 other campers!"

"I know, right? I'm actually nervous right now. It's just so overwhelming that one of us is gonna win half a million dollars after all this time." Jeff agreed with a smile.

"Totally overwhelming! I wonder how Randy's doing now that he's bald." she said.

He laughed. "Hell if I know, but just seeing him so defenseless takes the cake! It took us 25 weeks to get rid of him, and by some miracle, it finally worked!" exclaimed Jeff.

"_Attention, campers! Please meet me at the auditorium for some surprises!" _announced Jericho.

"Surprises, huh?" asked Michelle.

"Ok, the words 'surprise' and 'Jericho' usually mean that someone's gonna die or something. Let's go." replied Jeff.

Soon, they met him there…

"Jeff, Michelle, congratulations, my friends!" he exclaimed. "I know you've both gone through hell to even make it here, so I really gotta admit, you two truly deserve to be here."

"Really, Chris?" asked Michelle. "You really mean that?"

"No, I'm just reading what the producers told me to." he replied. "Anyways, both of you have mentioned a lot about your experiences here, so let's reveal the good stuff, shall we?" he asked.

-Hidden Camera-

Michelle: "Ok, where do I begin? The camp may have been underclass, but at least none of us have been killed while we were here! The food wasn't as bad as everyone else thought it was, and kudos to you, Big Show for even putting up with us. Now as for the other campers. Mickie, Kelly, Candice, and Maria, you girls rock! And Maria, I want to apologize again for spending most of our time here fighting. You're my BFF! Same goes for you, Punk. We've had a rocky road, but I'm glad we've patched things up again. And John, without you, I wouldn't even be here right now. I love you so much. So thank you all for supporting me all this time! Jeff, I'm honored to compete in the finals with you, and after you've saved our team so many times, you totally deserve to be here, too. I think I'll be remembered for my never-give-up personality."

Jeff: "Where do I begin? The camp was crappy as hell, I'm shocked that none of us has been killed in any way here, and I shouldn't even start with the food. Let's say this: I would've had a better time eating my own arms first. But I do have to commend you, Big Show for even dealing with us. Now, as for everyone else. Matt, bro, we've had a blast together, and I won't forget any second of it! Love you, man. Triple H, Shawn, it's been a wacky road, but there was never a dull moment with you two. Mickie, I'm still angry with Orton for even getting you kicked off in the first place, because you definitely would've lasted longer. Maria, Candice, you two made things better when all hell was breaking loose, and Kelly, I wouldn't even be in the top 2 without you. It seems like forever since you left, and you have no idea how much I miss you. So, thanks for supporting me, you guys. Michelle, you went through so many growing pains during this whole ride, and I couldn't think of a better person to compete in the finals with. I'll probably be remembered for my 'I-Can't-Believe-I-Put-Up-With-This' personality."

Big Show: "Well, I have to admit, I've had better jobs in prison, but Jeff and Michelle were both appreciative of my efforts, so thanks, you guys. *pause* I think it's time for a Twinkie now."

-Back outside-

"So, as for one of your surprises, " said Jericho. "I brought back the eliminated campers."

Michelle and Jeff looked surprised.

"Jeff!" called a voice.

He whipped around and caught Kelly waving to him.

He lit up. "Kelly!" he exclaimed, wrapping her in a hug.

After that, they shared a passionate kiss.

"I am SO proud of you!" she smiled, hugging him tight.

He smiled. "Thanks. I-I just can't believe that you're back!" he exclaimed.

"And I can't believe that I'm finally with you again!" she replied. "And…you still kept my charm bracelet?"

"I'd never let it go. I'm surprised that you still have on my necklace." he replied.

"Of course! You gave it to me, and that's what makes it even more special." she replied, still smiling.

"I love you, Kel." Jeff said sincerely.

"I love you too, Jeff." she replied, giving him a kiss.

"Kelly!" exclaimed Michelle.

"Michelle!" she exclaimed, giving her a hug. "I'm so glad to see you again!"

"I'm glad to see you again, Kel! I'm so happy that you're here!" she replied.

"Thanks, but I'm not the ONLY one here." Kelly said with a wink.

"Michelle!" called a voice.

She whipped around. "John!" she exclaimed, leaping into his arms.

They shared a passionate kiss.

"I KNEW you'd make it to the finals! You're the champ, not me!" he exclaimed with a smile.

"Oh, John!" she smiled, sharing another kiss with him. "I love you."

"I love you, too." he replied.

"Cena, nice to see you again, man." Jeff said, shaking his hand.

"Nice to see you too, Jeff! Congrats on making it to the finals!" he replied.

"Thanks!"

"Hey, a reunion? You're not gonna invite your bro?" Matt asked, joining them.

"Matt!" Jeff exclaimed, giving him a hug. "I'm glad you could make it, dude!"

"My little bro's in the finals. I wouldn't miss that for anything, even a shot at any Championship." he replied.

Soon after, Candice, Mickie, Maria, CM Punk, Batista, Santino, the Glamazon, Shawn, Triple H, Melina, Edge, Kane, Kofi, Maryse, Natalya, and the Undertaker all came, too.

And then there was Randy.

Ignoring all the giggles, he arrived, wearing an Elvis wig.

"Forget your Blue Suede Shoes, man?" Jeff asked with a smirk.

Michelle and everyone else laughed.

Randy looked angry. "Don't be cruel." he muttered.

Later…

"Welcome back, everyone! I'm sure you all missed this place." said Jericho. "Including little ol' me."

"We wouldn't miss you even if you got attacked by wild animals, swept into a tornado, and then spit out into the Gulf of Mexico!" Shawn exclaimed happily.

"Ouch! Although I admit, I've missed that from you, HBK. Thanks." he smiled. "Now, there are two sets of bleachers here, as you can see. You guys can sit here if you want Michelle to win," he said, pointing to the right. "Or you can sit here if you want Jeff to win." he said, pointing to the left.

Most of them were undecided, so here were the results: Kelly, Matt, Undertaker, Kane, Maryse, Natalya, Melina, Triple H, Shawn, and Mickie were on Jeff's side, and Batista, John, Randy, Punk, Maria, Candice, Santino, the Glamazon, Edge, and Kofi were on Michelle's side.

"Nice rug, Rand." Edge said with a smirk.

"Oh, bite me." he snarled at the guy who was responsible for getting his head shaved in the first place.

"Uh huh huh!" Edge imitated Elvis.

Randy punched him in the face. "Shut up!" he snapped.

-Hidden Camera-

Randy: "I'm screwed enough as it is, but since this is the finals, I have one final plan in store. I left a poison ivy filled cupcake by Jeff's bunk bed 'from Kelly.' This is bound to work, haha."

-Back outside-

Randy smiled up a storm, while Jeff grew concerned. "Ok, why the hell is he smiling like that?" he asked suspiciously.

"Well, it's either that he's happy for us, I doubt that, or he really likes his new wig." replied Michelle.

"A negative thought never pops in your head, does it?" he asked her.

"Ok, you guys. Jeff, Michelle, tell everyone here what you would do with the money and why you deserve it." said Jericho. "Michelle, you go first."

"All right, you guys. I guess I'd use it to travel and go on a shopping spree." she said.

"I deserve to be in the finals! Not you!" cried Maryse.

"And I'd buy some brass knuckles to punch out that French Nightmare over there!" Michelle exclaimed.

"WHOOOO!" John, Maria, and Punk cheered.

"Well, that sounds sweet, but boring." Jericho said dully.

"Hmph!" Michelle scoffed.

"What will you do if you win, Jeff?" he asked.

"I'll be true to my word and give half to Michelle, and use the rest of it to throw a HUGE party! I'll invite all of you guys!" he exclaimed.

Then, Batista, Candice, Santino, the Glamazon, and Edge all ran from Michelle's side to Jeff's side.

"Did I mention that it was gonna be a yacht party?" Jeff asked.

Maria sped over to his side, too. "HEE HEE!" she squealed happily.

"Maria!" snapped Michelle.

"I'm sorry, Michelle, but Jeff's my friend, too, and I like yachts! Sorry!" she replied.

"All right, now that that's done, it's time to introduce the Final Challenge!" exclaimed Jericho. "And it's called, the Rejected Olympic relay! First, you two need to wear these." he said, putting a hat on each of them.

"Why do I have a picture of a duck on my hat?" asked Michelle.

"Mine has a dead lizard on it." Jeff said flatly.

"Just for fun!" replied Jericho. "Now first, you must climb a flagpole and grab a flag at the top. After you survive that, you have to cross a 500 meter balance beam over a gorge, carrying an eagle's egg."

"That doesn't sound too bad." said Michelle.

"The man eating sharks will be waiting for you if you fall." he finished.

"We're screwed." replied Jeff.

"And if by some miracle you both survive that, you then have a long distance run towards the finish line, and a winner will be born!" Jericho exclaimed.

Undertaker threw a rock at him. "Calm down, will you?" he demanded.

He glared at him. "…Ow. Now, let's get this party started!" he cheered.

Soon after that, the race was about to begin!

"Good luck, Michelle." Jeff told her.

She smiled. "Right back at ya." she replied.

"Ok, this is for the win, and the $500,000." said Jericho. "Ready, set, GO!"

Both of them sped to the flagpoles, while Kelly, Mickie, and Matt accompanied Jeff, and John, Maria, and Randy accompanied Michelle.

"Move faster, Michelle!" screamed Randy.

"Hey, why are you on my side?" she demanded.

"Yeah, Orton, get lost!" agreed John.

"No, you can't let Jeff win!" replied Randy.

"He's my friend! I'll be happy for him if he wins!" she replied. "But in the midst of everything going on now, I will."

Cena, Maria, and Orton smiled.

Then, they reached the poles.

Jeff tried to climb up, but he kept slipping down. "What the hell's WITH this thing?" he demanded.

Matt touched it. "Looks like it's been greased."

"Orton." Jeff growled, angry.

"I'll help you out, Jeff." Kelly said, taking off her shirt. "Use this to mop off the grease."

After seeing her in just a bra and mini shorts, he got distracted and began fantasizing about her.

"Wow, you're beautiful…" he trailed off, smiling.

"JEFF!" Mickie's voice broke in. "Hurry! Michelle's ahead of you!"

"Oh!" he cried, coming back to reality. He mopped up the grease and climbed ahead.

Michelle was almost at the top, but she almost lost her balance.

"AAH!" she cried.

"Michelle!" cried Maria.

"You all right?" asked John.

She caught herself. "I'm fine!" she called back.

"Hurry! Jeff's beating you by a mile!" exclaimed Randy.

She glared at Orton, grabbed the flag, and then went on her way.

Meanwhile, Jericho was thinking about the balance beam part of the race, and how and if the campers would survive it…

_Flashback…_

"Can you try this out for me?" Jericho asked a new intern. "All of my other interns already died somehow. Don't blame me for it."

The intern slowly tried to cross the balance beam, but then Jericho saw Big Show carrying a tray of fresh sticky buns and cried, "STICKY BUNS!"

Then, the intern immediately fell off and got eaten by the sharks.

_Back to today…_

"Aw, it'll be safe enough." he said with a smile.

Back in the race, everyone was headed for the gorge…

"Wait, if I have to cross the gorge, what about you guys?" asked Jeff. "There's no way we can cross at the same time!"

"We'll take the shortcut." replied Matt. "But don't worry about us."

"Yeah, just focus on getting to the other side!" agreed Mickie.

"And whatever you do, just make sure you be careful!" added Kelly.

"Maria, you might as well cheer for Jeff since you ditched my side." Michelle told her.

"I never ditched you, Chelle! I just really want to go to the party, and I'm sure that you do, too. He's inviting all of us, anyway! So there's nothing to worry about." she smiled.

Soon after that, they reached the gorge, and everyone headed to the other side.

"You can do this, Jeff!" called his team.

"You can do it, Michelle!" called John and Maria.

"Randy, tell me again why you're even siding with me." Michelle told him.

"I just want you to win, Michelle. I'm trying to help you win, but you need to work a lot harder!" he exclaimed. "See you on the other side."

Jeff and Michelle both grabbed an eagle's egg.

"Hey Jericho, why do we even have to carry these, anyway?" asked Jeff.

"Some things must stay untold." he replied.

They both raced off, and this time, Michelle was slightly in the lead.

Jeff had some trouble balancing, though. "Aw, I'm gonna die." he said, worried.

"Jeff, just don't look down and look over here towards us!" called Kelly. "It's all you right now!"

He looked dreamily towards her and then started running over the balance beam.

"Hurry, Michelle, he's in the lead!" called Randy. "I wonder when that poison ivy's gonna kick in." he muttered.

"WHAT?" demanded John and Maria.

"Nothing." he said quickly.

As both competitors were halfway across the gorge, a bunch of eagles swooped towards them!

"What the—" began Jeff.

"Ok, I'll tell you what the eggs are for!" exclaimed Jericho. "Licensed eagle parents are gonna try and attack you guys and try to get their eggs back!"

"NOW he tells us!" Michelle exclaimed, annoyed.

"Impressive." Edge said, hanging out at the finish line, along with everyone else. "Very impressive."

"But that idea's kinda sick!" exclaimed Melina. "They could both die!"

"This is life at its rawest. You gotta live it to the fullest." he replied.

"Danger is hot." Natalya said, taking his arm.

"Very." Melina said, taking his other arm and gazing at him.

Back in the race…

As the eagles swooped towards them, they were almost across the gorge…

"Hey, Jeff—" began Matt.

"Hold on, dude! I can't be distracted!" he called back.

Seeing this as an opportunity to screw up his enemy, Randy snatched Maria and lifted up her shirt as a distraction!

Both Jeff and Michelle froze in their tracks, and so did the sharks and the eagles.

"I feel violated and exposed! John, help me!" Maria cried.

John snatched her back and shoved Randy away. "Randy, knock it off, you snake!" he called.

After that, Jeff reached the end first, followed by Michelle.

"You'll be all right, eggy." she told the egg.

"Uh, Michelle? MOVE IT!" shouted Randy.

"SHUT UP!" Maria and John shouted at him. "You can do it, Michelle!"

After that, Jeff and Michelle, along with both of their teams, all ran the long distance run…

"Hey Kel, thanks for the cupcake!" Jeff told her.

She looked confused. "Huh? I never even had a cupcake with me. Was it good?" she asked.

"I don't know. I gave it to Michelle." he replied.

Meanwhile, the poison ivy was kicking in, and Michelle started breaking out!

"AAAAAAAHHH! Wha—What's happening?" she cried.

"Uh oh." Randy said quietly.

"You sure you guys can keep up with me?" Jeff asked his team.

"We'll try our best, but if we all collapse, just keep going!" replied Mickie.

"Oh, why'd I choose to wear heels today?" demanded Maria. "My feet are killing me!"

"AAH!" she cried as she was slung over Randy's shoulder.

"Happy now?" he asked, carrying her.

Back at the finish line, Jeff's team hoped that he was winning…

"Jeff better be in the lead!" exclaimed Maryse. "If that Michelle wins, I'll take her money and run!"

"Yeah, and the yacht party won't happen, either." agreed Kane.

Shocked, everyone looked at him.

"If you didn't know, I like to have fun, too." he said demonically. "Hahahahahahaha!"

"…Ok." Triple H said, still looking at him. "Anyways, maybe there is a way to help him win."

"Oh! If I know what you're thinking, does this involve a huge electric fan?" asked Shawn.

"Exactly!" he agreed. "I have this all planned out."

"Ok, be right back!" Shawn said, running off.

"Bring some brownies while you're there! The fan and probably some brownies would be in Jericho's office!" Hunter called after him. "Jericho needs the fan to get that stupid windswept look in his hair, you know?"

"Why do we need those?" asked Candice.

"Yeah, are we gonna pig out or something?" asked Batista.

"You'll see." HHH replied.

"I-a just wish-a I was-a in the race!" exclaimed Santino. "I'd-a be there and-a here like *snaps fingers* that!"

"That's my Tino! You'd dominate everyone!" agreed the Glamazon.

"All will-a fear me! I am-a Santino Marella!" he announced.

Then, Batista dumped his drink over his head. "…Sorry." he said with a smile.

Back in the race, Michelle was in the lead, but Jeff was getting exhausted…

John, Randy, and Maria all fell behind.

"Hey, you guys!" called Jeff. "Orton."

"Hardy." he replied, glaring at him.

"I know you tried to sabotage me. You greased the pole, and you tried to distract me with Maria!" he exclaimed.

"Don't forget the poison ivy filled cupcake!" exclaimed Randy.

"That was from YOU?" Jeff and Kelly demanded.

"Yeah, but Michelle got it instead." he replied. "My plans never work."

"No, duh!" Matt replied, exhausted.

Soon after that, Michelle and Jeff's teams took a shortcut and were already at the finish line, awaiting the two.

Michelle was breezing by, while Jeff was forced to crawl.

"You got it, Michelle!" called Punk. "It's all you!"

Then, Shawn returned with the huge fan and brownies!

"I got the stuff. What are you gonna do?" he asked HHH.

"Ok, face the fan towards the finish line." he instructed.

HBK did what he was told, but he accidentally faced the fan towards Randy, blowing off his wig!

"AAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed, hiding under Maria's skirt.

"Why are you violating me so much today?" she demanded to him.

Punk got angry. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER, YOU PERV!" he cried, tacking him down.

As the two fought, Matt had a great idea. "Hey Punk, let's lock him in the outhouse!" he called.

"Great idea!" he agreed, dragging Randy away.

"LET ME GO, DAMN IT!" he screamed as the two locked him in a nearby outhouse.

Then, they knuckle punched each other.

As Michelle was nearing the finish line, HHH said, "Shawn, turn the fan towards the brownies!"

"Can do." he replied, doing just that.

When Jeff was crawling to catch up, he whiffed the brownies and got hypnotized.

"Food? *sniff sniff* FOOD!" he exclaimed, flying past Michelle, crossing the finish line, and crashing into his team!

His team cheered as they joined him.

Kelly leaped into his arms. "YOU DID IT!" she exclaimed.

"I-I did!" he exclaimed happily. "I WON!"

Matt hugged him. "You did AWESOME, man!" he cheered.

As everyone cheered for both him and Michelle, Michelle ran and hugged Jeff. "Great job! Looks like the better guy won!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, you played fair, too, Michelle. You're still getting half of the money." he replied, smiling.

She smiled back. "Thanks!"

"Well, Michelle, you did awesome, too!" exclaimed Cena. "Yeah, you didn't cross the finish line first, but you're still a winner to me, and we're all going to have a blast at the party!"

"Yeah, it'll be SOOO much fun!" agreed Maria.

"I'm glad you're all going to the party together." Jeff said sincerely.

"I wonder what we could do during the party." Undertaker told Kane.

"We could stare at the walls." Kane replied.

"YEAH." they both said with sick smiles.

"Great job, man!" cheered Triple H. "Here, have a brownie."

Jeff took one. "Thanks! I knew these were around somewhere."

"Yeah, we wanted to motivate you to win with the fan and the brownies, and all that stuff." replied Shawn. "And Orton's wig blew off, too!"

Jeff laughed. "Really? I wish I could've seen that!"

"Congratulations, Jeff-a de Hardy!" exclaimed Santino. "And since-a you are-a going to throw-a the big-a party, I'd-a like to do the-a interpretive dance!"

"He's really good, you should see him dance." agreed the Glamazon.

"Want me to be your bodyguard and kick him out if he does something stupid?" asked Batista.

"Hmm. Sure, why not." Jeff replied.

Then Randy, wigless, found his way out of the outhouse.

"Hardy WON?" he demanded angrily.

"I did. Just accept it, Randy. Whatever you do, I can do it WAY better." Jeff said with a smile. "Plus with all the crap you've done to all of us here since Day 1, what goes around, comes around."

Randy just glared angrily at him.

"One more thing. You lost your wig." he said, laughing along with everyone else.

Later that night, everyone was at the Campfire of Truth for the final ceremony…

"Well, it's been quite a trip, everyone. And after 26 weeks of hell and competition, Jeff Hardy is the true survivor of Total WWE Island!" announced Jericho.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered.

"Thanks, you guys. All your support, it means the world to me." he replied. "Especially yours, Kel."

She smiled in return.

"So, I'd like to present you with a check for $500,000, and one final smore for you." said Jericho.

"I'll cherish this thing forever…Aw, screw it." Jeff said, munching the smore. "With $500 grand, I could buy 10 truckloads of these!"

Meanwhile, Randy looked in shock as Edge walked along with Melina, Maryse, AND Natalya!

"Ladies, this party's going to be a blast." Edge said contently.

"Girls, let's change our names from the Divas of Evil, to the Rated R Divas of Evil!" announced Melina.

"YEAH!" agreed Natalya and Maryse.

"I like it. I like it a lot." Edge replied, kissing them all. "Oh, hey, Randy. Nice hair."

The girls laughed.

"Well, I may have failed miserably here, but I could always sneak onto the yacht and shake things up there, too." Randy said to himself. "Hahaha."

"Hey, Mickie." said Matt. "Maybe on the yacht, we'll find a secluded spot so we can, you know, make out."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mmm! Sounds good to me, Matty!" she replied, giving him a kiss. "Sexy."

He kissed her back. "Beautiful."

"And I'll make sure to reserve a place on the yacht just for my girlfriend and I." Jeff said, holding Kelly in his arms.

She lit up. "Girlfriend?" she asked happily.

"Of course! What do you think all those 'I love you's' meant?" he asked, smiling.

She kissed him passionately. "Aw, I love you, too!" she exclaimed. "You know, I always wanted you to be my boyfriend."

"And I've wanted you to be my girlfriend." he replied, kissing her forehead. "Looks like this is a happy ending after all!"

"Well, it won't be 100% happy until we do something that needs to be done." announced Triple H.

"What's that?" asked Michelle.

The other guys smiled.

HHH, Shawn, John, Matt, Punk, and Batista all walked towards Jericho.

"W-Wait, you guys. Take it easy." he said, backing away.

Then, they all lifted him up.

"GUYS! PLEASE! Can't we talk about this?" he demanded.

Finally, they all threw him in the water!

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" everyone cheered.

"That felt good. Very good." Punk said, satisfied.

"Ditto." agreed Batista.

Jericho stuck his head out of the water and glared at all of them. "PRUDES!" he called.

"And if you're not down with that, we only got two words for ya!" began Shawn.

Then, he and Triple H both did the famous DX crotch chop!

"SUCK IT!" they both exclaimed.

"Do you know how LONG I wanted to do that to him?" Shawn exclaimed happily.

"You got owned, Chris!" Big Show laughed.

Then, he turned around to find the boys after him.

"You guys think he deserves it next?" asked John.

"Well, he almost killed us with his cooking, so yeah." agreed Matt.

"I GET FIRST DIBS ON FATSO!" Punk exclaimed, cracking his knuckles.

"Guys, what I cooked for you was out of love! Don't attack me!" Show exclaimed, running away.

"Get back here so I can shove your fat ass into the water!" Punk cried, leading the pack. "You'll probably absorb it all!"

"YOU deserve to be castrated, Punk, CASTRATED!" Show angrily called back.

As the guys managed to shove him in the pool, Jeff announced, "Ok, who's ready for the greatest party EVER?"

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they all cheered.

"Let's get the hell outta here once and for all." agreed Randy.

As everyone left, Jericho and Big Show were still in the water.

"Well, TV Land, that's about it for Total WWE Island. FOR NOW, haha. Big Show and I'd like to say, thanks for putting up with us! Later!" announced Jericho.

"Bye." Big Show said dully.

"Now, c'mon, let's hurry and get outta here so we can join the party!" Jericho told him, swimming away. "Over and out!"


	27. Episode 27

Total WWE Island – Here Comes the Money!

Episode 27

After everyone left TWI, they all went back to the Holidae Inn to relax and celebrate…

"So, isn't this place awesome, you guys?" Mickie asked Jeff and Michelle.

"Hell yeah!" exclaimed Jeff.

"Totally!" agreed Michelle. "This palace beats that old crusty camp by a mile!"

"And the best part is, since Jeff won and this whole competition is finished, we never have to worry about going back to that place, eating Big Show's 'delicacies', and NO MORE JERICHO!" exclaimed Triple H.

Everyone cheered.

But right then and there, Jericho and Big Show bursted inside.

"We're baaaaack!" Jericho cheered happily.

Everyone fell silent.

Shawn punched HHH's arm. "If you hadn't just opened your big mouth, this wouldn't be happening!" he cried angrily.

"Don't punch me!" HHH snapped back, slugging him in return.

"OW! You want to take this outside?" demanded Shawn.

"After you!" replied HHH.

"GUYS!" cried Maria. "Let's take it down a notch, ok?"

The two just glared at each other.

"ANYWAY, we're back!" Jericho announced again.

"It was bad hearing it the first time!" snapped CM Punk. "Why the hell do you two think that you have the nerve to barge in our paradise?"

Jericho looked at him. "You know, you really need to watch your mouth sometimes. Anyways, Big Show, tell him why we're here." he said.

"We're here to make a deal that Jeff couldn't possibly refuse." replied Show.

Jeff whipped around. "Heh?"

"Ok, you didn't spend any of your $500 grand yet, did you?" asked Chris.

"$250 grand. I gave half to Michelle." he replied.

"Ok, then the both of you need to hear this." he said. "How would it feel trading in that $500 grand for ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS?"

Everyone was dead silent.

Michelle laughed. "That's a good one, Jericho. One million dollars. Now really, what did you want to tell us?" she asked.

"I'm not kidding, Michelle. Back at camp, there's a suitcase filled with one million dollars waiting for all of you." he replied.

Michelle's laughter faded and she passed out.

"Michelle!" John exclaimed, catching her.

Jeff stared in shock. "$1-1 million?" he asked, dazed.

"That's what he said." replied Big Show.

"Yep. So I'm offering a deal. Both of you trade in your $250 grand for a chance to win a million dollars."

Then, Randy grabbed Jeff by the collar and said, "You better make the right choice, Hardy. Or else you're gonna regret it."

What Randy didn't see was Matt drawing something on the back of his bald head.

Jeff broke away from him and smiled slyly. "I will." he replied.

As Randy walked back, everyone snickered when they saw a smiley face drawn on the back of his head.

Matt and Jeff knuckle punched one another.

"Nice, dude." Jeff laughed.

"Aw, it was the least that I could do. Now his head isn't completely bald." Matt replied with a smile.

Michelle finally came to. "One million dollars…" she slurred.

"Is she gonna be all right?" asked Candice.

"I'll help her." said John.

Then, he gave her a passionate kiss.

"WHOO! I'm ok!" she exclaimed, leaping up.

"So, are you two gonna trade in for the big mil?" asked Jericho.

"Yeah, make it quick, I'm expecting a Twinkie delivery any minute now!" Big Show said impatiently.

Jeff and Michelle looked at one another, then looked back at everyone encouraging them to do so. Randy threateningly glared towards Jeff.

"HELL YEAH!" they both exclaimed.

The rest of the gang cheered.

"Sweet! Now let's all board the yacht and visit our favorite island once again!" exclaimed Jericho.

A few minutes later, everyone boarded back onto the island once again…

"Well, doesn't this place bring back memories?" asked Batista. "Painful ones."

"Yeah…" Jericho smiled. "So, now that you're all here, I'll explain the rules. Each of you will break up into teams, and you can have up to four people in your group. You'll all search around the island, and search anywhere you can because the suitcase could virtually be anywhere. All around the camp, there will be clues to help you. Some of them may help you, and some of them won't."

"So, why would you give us clues that night mean nothing to us?" asked Melina.

"Cause! I just LOVE messing with all your tiny little pea brains! Hahahahaha!" he laughed.

Everyone just stared at him.

"Haha…ha…ha." he stopped. "So, that's about it. Break up into your teams and let's get this party started!"

"Hey, Hunter. Ready to find the big mil?" asked Shawn.

He had a random bucket of chicken wings and was munching on one. "Sure thing, man." he replied.

Shawn just looked at him.

He stopped chewing. "What?"

"Do I need to ask?"

"Ask what?"

"Any particular reason why you brought the chicken wings?" asked HBK.

"Well, they were up for grabs ever since Big Daddy V disappeared. So, why not take them." he replied.

"Hey, you guys!" called Candice.

"Hey, Candy!" exclaimed Shawn.

"What's up?" asked HHH.

"Can I search for the cash with you guys?" she asked.

"Sure, why not?" he replied. "Let's get moving, team."

"Uh, what's with the chicken—" she began.

"Yeah, I don't know, either." interrupted Shawn. "Let's go."

"Well, babe, I think we can find the money on our own, don't you think?" Jeff asked Kelly.

"Hells yeah!" she agreed. "Race ya there!" she exclaimed, speeding off and laughing.

He smiled. "HEY! No running away from your boyfriend!" Jeff exclaimed, chasing her.

"Well, I think that the Champ and his number one girl's gonna take the money and run." John said, holding Michelle in his arms.

"Totally. We'll see you guys later…one million dollars richer!" she exclaimed, high fiving her boyfriend.

"Ladies, shall the Rated R Divas of Evil claim the grand prize before anyone else even finds the first clue?" asked Edge.

"Of course! We're better than everyone!" exclaimed Maryse. "Including that Michelle."

"Let's go NOW! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA!" Natalya laughed crazily, happily running into the woods. "I'M HOME!"

Edge, Maryse, and Melina just stared in her direction.

"Well, better go catch her before she hurts herself." announced Melina.

"I swear, she needs to be locked up in a cage somewhere." Edge replied as they headed off.

"Well, well, well. Kofi-de Kingston!" exclaimed Santino. "Mind-a if my Glamazon and I join-a you?"

"Sure, why not, mon!" he exclaimed.

"Excellent." replied the Glamazon. "Now, MOVE IT!" she exclaimed, dragging them both.

"Hey, want to go rip the wings off of insects instead?" Kane asked Undertaker.

He smiled creepily. "Yes. Yes, I do." he replied.

As they walked off, JBL followed them.

They glared back at him.

"For your information, I'd never search for anything with the likes of you…creatures!" he snapped.

Then, Kane shoved him towards Undertaker, and then, Taker chokeslammed him into the ground!

While JBL laid there unconscious, Undertaker said, "Idiot."

"Come on, Matty, let's get going." said Mickie.

"Matt, Mickie, wait up!" called Maria.

"Mind if we search with you two?" asked Punk.

"Not at all!" exclaimed Mickie.

"Yeah, it'll be like a double date!" agreed Matt.

"I LOVE double dates! It's like, two for the price of one or something like that!" Maria exclaimed.

"…Right. Whatever you say, babe." replied Punk.

Then, Batista and Randy were left.

"Just what I was afraid of." Batista sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get going so that I—" began Randy.

Then, looked back to find Batista glaring at him.

"…WE can win the million dollars." he finished. "Now, LET'S GO!"

Dave shook his head in defeat.

-Hidden Camera-

Batista: "I had to be stuck with Orton? It's weird, I always felt bad for everyone who was paired up with him in the past, but it's even worse when you're next. As long as he doesn't try anything, no one'll get hurt. And I can't believe he still didn't notice the smiley face on the back of his head. I won't say a word about it."

-Back outside-

Meanwhile, Shawn, Triple H, and Candice were searching by the mess hall…

"No clues, no suitcase, no cash, no NOTHING!" exclaimed Shawn.

"Dude, calm down, will you?" asked HHH. "We just started searching."

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? Dude, we're facing a MILLION dollars here! Being on this run-down dump of an island for 26 weeks finally comes down to this, and I'm NOT blowing it now!" he exclaimed, searching through trees and bushes.

"Listen, man!" exclaimed HHH. "We still got plenty of time! Don't get yourself all worked up!"

"He's right, Shawn." agreed Candice. "The contest just started, don't worry about a thing."

"All right. Well, we won't get anywhere if I have to search all by myself." replied Shawn.

"Sorry, let me help you." she said, searching through some more bushes.

Triple H was still munching on his chicken wings.

"Thanks, Candy. Now will you please tell TRIPS over there to ditch the wing nibbling and give us a hand…or else we'll split the million dollars for ourselves." Shawn said, glaring at him.

After that, HHH snapped to attention and helped them search. "Sorry, you guys! Please don't shun me out!" he exclaimed.

...

Meanwhile, Jeff and Kelly were searching, while they went by the dock…

"Hey, Kel, I'm sorry that I couldn't take you and the others on that cruise." he told his girlfriend.

"It's no biggie. Besides, do you know what you could do with a million dollars?" she exclaimed.

"Hmm. I guess I could buy a golden yacht and throw a party there…or maybe a chrome one. Silver? Oh, I know! Rainbow!" Jeff exclaimed.

Kelly laughed. "That works!" she replied, smiling. "Wow, this place brings back so many memories."

"Yeah. This is the place where I fell in love with you as soon as you stepped foot on the island." he said sincerely.

She blushed. "Oh, Jeff…"

"It's true. As a matter of fact, a lot happened here." he continued.

"I had to let you go when I was eliminated." said Kelly.

"And we shared our first kiss here, too." added Jeff.

"I'll never forget it, either." she agreed.

"I love you Kel." he said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

"I love you too, Jeff." she replied, smiling.

As they shared a passionate kiss, out of nowhere, a coconut bonked Jeff on the head.

"OW!" he cried.

"Are you ok?" asked Kelly.

"Yeah I'm fine. But what's the deal with this thing?" he asked.

Then, Kelly spotted a piece of paper coming from underneath it. "What's this?" she asked, picking it up.

"I dunno. Let's find out." he replied.

"Oh, it's a clue! 'It really likes eggs'. "she read.

Jeff blankly looked at the paper. "I don't get it." he replied.

"Ok, let's just think for a sec. 'It' probably stands for the suitcase. But how could a suitcase like eggs?" she asked.

"I got it! The cafeteria! Big Show fed us some raw ones a few weeks ago. Wanna try there?" he asked.

"Great idea! Let's go! I can't believe he fed you guys raw eggs." said Kelly.

"You're lucky you weren't there for that." Jeff replied as they walked off.

...

In another part of camp, John and Michelle would run into trouble…

"Ok, if I were a million dollars, where would I hide?" asked Michelle. "If only we could find a clue."

Then, up ahead, a hawk carried the suitcase in its beak!

"Michelle! Look up there!" exclaimed Cena.

"Oh my GOD! A million dollars just few over our heads!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah! Let's get moving before it gets away!" he agreed, running alongside with her.

The hawk was a few feet away from them, while the two tried to catch up.

"Oh, this is hopeless! If only we could just fly!" Michelle exclaimed.

"Oh, babe? I just found the answer to our problem." Cena said, smiling.

He pointed to a hot air balloon.

Michelle kissed him passionately. "Baby, you're a genius!"

He blushed. "Aw, well, I try." he replied.

"Let's go!" she exclaimed, dragging him towards the balloon.

Meanwhile, Edge, Maryse, Melina, and Natalya also caught trouble ahead…

Natalya led the group, sniffing the ground for clues.

"Nattie, why can't you just walk like the rest of us?" asked Melina.

"Well, since I lived in the woods for a good amount of time, I learned some hunting skills. You can find things way better if you sniff the ground. Wanna try?" she asked.

"Uh, no thanks." replied Maryse.

"Wow, all she's missing is a leash and then she'd be good to go." Edge said sarcastically.

Melina nudged him in the ribs. "Stop it. You find anything, Nattie?" she asked.

"Nope. Nothing but dirt and…bear crap." she replied.

"Ew." everyone else cringed.

While Natalya was still searching the ground, she didn't see Mr. Bear approaching her.

Everyone else stood there, terrified.

"N-Nattie?" Edge asked nervously.

"What?"

"Looks like your old friend came back for a visit." Maryse replied.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded, standing up.

"Look behind you." said Melina.

She slowly turned around and saw Mr. Bear smiling happily at her.

*Growl!*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, barreling through her friends.

As the other three were left behind, Mr. Bear targeted them.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed, running the other way.

...

Kofi, Santino, and the Glamazon were searching until they approached a cave…

"Well, a suitcase really could be in here." said the Glamazon.

"It's worth a try, mon." agreed Kofi.

"I'll-a lead-a the way!" exclaimed Santino.

As they walked into the dark, scary cave, something fell in front of them, but they couldn't tell what it was.

"It that the suitcase, mon?" asked Kofi.

"Hmm. It feels like a suitcase. And it's kinda heavy." said the Glamazon. "If only we had a flashlight."

"I got-a one!" announced Santino.

He shined it towards the source, but it wasn't a suitcase.

"What is that, mon?" asked Kofi.

"It's—It's an…egg!" exclaimed the Glamazon.

"Egg? What-a kind of an egg?" asked Santino.

Then, a herd of ostriches charged from the cave and headed towards them!

"We know now, mon!" he cried, speeding out.

"Aw, I can-a take them on!" exclaimed Santino. "Bring it on-a, you stupid-a birds!"

They kept charging towards him.

The Glamazon pulled him out of the way just in time. "You can't be a tough guy all the time." she told him.

"I-a know." he said quickly.

Then, the ostriches continued chasing them.

"Run, mon!" he exclaimed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" they all screamed as they tried to escape the herd.

Meanwhile, Kane and Undertaker totally forgot about the million dollars and kept looking for insects to destroy…

"Hey, Kane, check this out." Taker said, ripping a centipede in half.

"Hahahahaha!" they laughed evilly.

"Look at its guts all over the ground." pointed out Kane. "Look at this."

He grabbed a dragonfly and tore its wings off.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" they laughed.

Next, JBL bumped into them. "Here we go again." he muttered.

He tried to get past them, but the brothers of Destruction purposely blocked his path.

"Move out of my way, damn it!" he exclaimed. Then, he bonked both of their heads together!

The Brothers looked furious.

"Get…him…" Taker said darkly.

As JBL ran away, Kane and Undertaker were quick on his tail.

"I hate this place." JBL said dully.

...

In another part of camp, Matt, Mickie, Maria, and Punk would find the answer to their prayers…maybe.

"Oh, I just hope that we find the suitcase first!" exclaimed Maria. "You know everything we could do with a million bucks?"

"Yeah, we definitely gotta split it four ways if we find it." agreed Punk. "One million divided by four is…" he trailed off.

"$250,000!" exclaimed Maria. "Wow! I didn't know I knew that!"

Matt laughed. "Good for you, Maria, good for you." he replied. "Oh look, a clue."

"Awesome! Read it, Matty." said Mickie.

"Ok, 'It's just hanging'." he read.

"That's it?" asked Punk.

"Yeah. Like this'll ever help us." Matt said, tossing it on the ground.

"You guys give up way too easily!" replied Maria. "Let's just think for a while. 'It', meaning the suitcase, is hanging somewhere. That's what it means."

"Ok, so all we need to do is look anywhere where things hang." agreed Mickie. "Doesn't sound too hard."

"I guess not. C'mon, let's go." said Punk.

Then, before anyone could say anything else, a crazy moose appeared from out of nowhere and dragged Matt away on its back!

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA….!" he exclaimed.

"MATT!" they cried.

"We gotta save him! Let's go!" cried Mickie.

"GUYS!" Matt cried as he was being taken in a totally different direction.

"Just hang on, dude!" called Punk. "We're never gonna reach him on foot!"

Maria gasped. "We can use that!" she exclaimed, pointing to a wagon.

"Good idea!" agreed Mickie.

The three leaped into the raggedy wagon, and rode themselves down this steep hill, keeping sight on Matt.

"YOU ALL RIGHT, MATTY?" called Mickie.

"YEAH!" he called back, but when he turned around, he saw that he was headed straight into the woods. "Aw, crap. This is the end." he said nervously.

...

Meanwhile, Batista and Randy weren't getting along, and it would only get worse from there…

"So Rand. You got any more plans to sabotage anyone today?" asked Batista.

"Yeah. You." he replied with an evil smile.

"Well, you just keep wasting your time, Orton. While you're goofing off, I'll be a million bucks richer." he said, walking ahead. "It's sad for you, really. You make it to the top 3, but got eliminated right before the finals, got your head shaved in the same day, you lost your girlfriend—er EX girlfriend Melina because you screwed up another relationship…" he began.

Randy looked angry. "Man, shut up!" he snapped.

"I see a pattern forming here. Everytime you set up a plan to hurt someone, it always backfires on you. Always, you know?" he continued.

"I said, shut up!" Randy said through clenched teeth.

"You see, that's the reason why you don't have any more friends. That attitude of yours. You lost your 'buddy' Edge, Natalya, one of the last people who respected you, hates your guts now, and did I mention Melina?" he smiled.

Randy had just about enough. He tackled Batista and started beating the crap out of him!

Then, Batista threw him off and kicked him in the gut a few times before Randy rolled away. Batista was about to finish him when Randy kicked him clean in the face. He was stunned for a moment, but dodged just in time, missing Randy's RKO. They kept battling, but who would win?

Meanwhile, Shawn, Triple H, and Candice approached an ocean, but would they find any treasure?

"I wonder if there's anything here." HHH said, still munching on the chicken.

"Uh, how many of those did you put away?" asked Shawn.

"I lost count. Probably around 25-30." he replied.

"You know you're gonna get sick from eating too many of those, right?" asked Candice.

"This is nothing compared to this other time." replied Triple H.

"What do you mean?" asked HBK.

"One time, I put away 50 of these suckers." he replied.

"Oh, my God!" they both exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah, I know! It's amazing, isn't it?" he agreed.

"No, man, turn around!" cried Shawn.

"Why?"

"TURN AROUND!" they both screamed.

HHH whipped around and was face to face with a HUGE alligator!

"Oh, hello." he said meekly.

Then, the alligator charged towards him, sending both of them into the ocean.

Shawn caught the bucket of chicken as the two watched.

"I'll get help!" cried Candice.

"No, don't!" HHH called, fighting of the alligator. "I think I can handle him on my own!"

"You THINK?" Shawn demanded, eating some wings.

"I'll Pedigree his ass into the ground! And dude, get your hands off my chicken!" he called back.

Then, the alligator was about to bite his hand off, but HHH moved just in time. He slammed the alligator to the sea floor with a huge splash!

...

Meanwhile, Jeff and Kelly headed to the cafeteria to find the suitcase when they'd find an unwanted surprise…

"Ok, if this clue is right, we're gonna be one million dollars richer!" exclaimed Jeff.

They searched and searched, but found nothing.

"Come on! The suitcase has to be here! Where else can we possibly look?" demanded Kelly.

"This clue's bogus!" Jeff exclaimed, tearing it in half.

Then, when he stood up, a huge figure blocked his path.

"YOU!" he cried, looking up to see the evil madman from Episode 19!

Kelly ran in the room and found the scene. "AAH!" she screamed.

"Kelly, stay over there. I'll take care of him!" Jeff exclaimed.

As the madman swung his switchblade towards Jeff, he ducked and ran to the nearest exit. "Kel, come on!"

She headed for the front door, but the madman caught her and positioned his blade towards her neck.

Jeff turned around and found his girlfriend in the arms of danger.

"Let her go, damn it!" he demanded.

"Jeff, save yourself! Don't worry about me!" Kelly cried, struggling.

"No, Kel, I'm not leaving without you! And I'm not leaving without a fight, either!" he cried. "Now I said, let her go."

The madman didn't budge, but Kelly kicked him in his area, sending him down on his knees.

"Jeff, let's go!" Kelly cried, dragging him out of the building.

"Ok, I think we lost him." Jeff replied a few minutes later. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." she replied.

"And nice kick, by the way." he smiled.

She gave him a kiss. "Aw, thanks. I think that we should fight side by side. You know, like Bonnie and Clyde."

"We should, shouldn't we?" he agreed.

While they gazed into each other's eyes, they didn't see the madman sneak up behind them.

He swung out his blade, separating the two.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Kelly screamed.

Jeff grabbed her hand. "Let's go." he said, leading her away.

They kept running until they reached two trees on opposite sides of the path.

Kelly nodded at Jeff, and he caught the message and nodded back.

Jeff spun the madman around, confusing him, while they both climbed up the trees.

When the madman came to, he ran ahead, only to be kicked square in the face by the boyfriend/girlfriend team.

"You think we got him for good?" asked Kelly.

"He's out like a light, but I have a feeling that he'll come to eventually." he replied. "We better get outta here while we can."

As the two walked away from the scene, a sword suddenly flew past them.

"AAH!" she cried.

"This guy just won't stay down, will he? Run, Kel!" Jeff said, leading her away once again.

...

Now in their hot air balloon, John and Michelle were still trying to catch the hawk with the suitcase…

"Come on, just a little closer!" Michelle exclaimed, reaching over the edge of the basket.

The hawk was almost in her reach, but right when she tried to grab it, it flew away again.

"Damn it!" she cried.

"Ok, Michelle, just get back inside. We're too high in the air for you to fall out!" exclaimed John, trying to pull her back in.

She tried to climb back in, but suddenly fell over the side.

"JOHN!" she cried, hanging onto the edge for dear life. "I'm gonna fall!"

He grabbed onto her wrists. "No, you won't, Michelle! I'll get you back in!" he called.

"You're about to fall over, too! There's no way you'll be able to pull me back up!" she exclaimed.

He saw himself hanging over the basket. "You're right. But if you do fall, I'll catch you. I promise." he replied.

She smiled. "Thanks."

Meanwhile, Edge and the girls were still running from Mr. Bear, who was angry over losing Natalya again.

The bear growled wildly and the three screamed for their lives.

"What do we do now?" demanded Maryse.

Before anyone could reply, a few more bears joined Mr. Bear.

"Oh, that's wonderful. He formed himself a gang." Edge said sarcastically. "Now we're gonna die."

"And where'd Natalya go?" demanded Melina.

Right after she said that, Natalya sped towards the gang, but froze when she caught Mr. Bear and his friends. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed in terror.

*Growl*

"GET AWAY!" she cried, not watching where she was running and crashing into Edge and the girls, sending them all flying down a cliff!

...

Meanwhile, Kofi, Santino, and the Glamazon were still being chased by the herd of ostriches, which got bigger by the minute.

"Don't these guys ever get tired, mon?" he asked.

An ostrich snagged onto Santino's shirt.

"EEP!" he squealed. "I-a guess not!"

Then, the Glamazon stopped running.

"Honey, what-a are you-a doing?" he demanded.

"I'm tired of running." she said seriously.

"What?" asked the guys.

Then, she leaped over the ostrich's head, and rode on its back instead. After that, she grabbed Santino and Kofi, putting them on their ostriches, too.

"All right, mon!" he cheered.

"That's my-a Glamazon! Onward to victory!" he cheered along.

Meanwhile, Kane and Undertaker were still chasing JBL until they reached a waterfall…

JBL stopped at the edge. "Now, think about what you're doing." he said, reasoning with them.

The Brothers of Destruction just stared at him.

"Why should we spare you?" asked Kane.

"Uh, uh, if I find the money, I'll split it with you. How's that?" he asked.

Taker looked and Kane and Kane looked at Taker.

"Well?" asked JBL.

"We don't like you." Taker said, shoving him down the waterfall.

"You're gonna regret this…!" he shouted as he fell.

Meanwhile, Matt was still on a wild Moose ride, heading into the woods, while Punk, Maria, and Mickie were on his tail…

"If that moose hurts my Matty in any way, I'll take him down myself!" Mickie said, pouting.

"WHOA!" the three shouted, bumping over a huge dirt mountain.

"Don't worry, Mickie, we'll save him!" exclaimed Maria. "EEK!" she cried, dodging a low branch.

"That moose isn't too far from us." replied Punk. "I could jump onto the moose's back and help Matt control him."

"Punky, that's too dangerous!" she cried.

"I live on danger." he smirked. "I'm gonna do this. You girls keep control of the wagon, ok?"

"All right. Be careful!" called Mickie.

Maria gave him a kiss. "Good luck, CM." she said.

He smiled back at her, before he got into position, focused on the moose, leaped off of the wagon, and managed to get himself onto the moose's back with Matt!

"Dude!" Matt cried, surprised. "How'd you get here?"

"Special maneuver! Now let's stop this guy before he kills both of us!" Punk replied.

"All right. I say we grab onto his antlers. Then, maybe he'll stop!" suggested Matt.

"Great idea!" he agreed.

They did that, but instead of stopping, the moose got even crazier!

"AAAAAHHH!" the girls screamed, not too far behind them.

The guys whipped around.

"What the hell did you girls do?" demanded Punk.

"We tied a rope from the wagon to the moose's tail!" exclaimed Maria.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?" demanded Matt.

"We're not getting separated from you guys!" Mickie replied sternly.

"Oh no." announced Punk.

"What?" asked Matt.

"CLIFF!" he screamed, seeing that they were headed towards danger.

...

Meanwhile, Randy and Batista were still beating the living hell out of one another…

Batista punched Randy in the face, and Randy retaliated by tripping Batista down a nearby hill. The two guys fought each other down the hill, when they splashed into an ocean.

"You're finished, Orton!" Batista exclaimed, ready to powerbomb him.

"AM I?" he demanded, kicking Batista in the gut.

"OOF!" he cried.

Then, while Randy wasn't looking, a family of beavers came by and smacked his head around with their tails.

"WHAT THE—GET OFFA ME!" Randy cried, furiously trying to get away.

Right by that ocean, Triple H was still wrestling the alligator, and they both looked terrible…

"Come on, Hunter!" cheered Shawn, still munching on the chicken.

"You ok in there?" called Candice.

"I'm—WHOA!" he began, being dragged underwater.

"DUDE!" cried Shawn.

He emerged from underwater. "I'm good!" he called back. "And didn't I tell you to get your hands away from my chicken?"

"This chicken should be the LAST thing on your mind!" HBK called. "Besides, I finished the rest!"

Then, HHH was furious. He tossed the alligator aside like a rag doll, and then slowly approached Shawn.

"Uh, Hunter?" he asked nervously.

"Nobody…eats my food." HHH said darkly. "COME HERE!" he exclaimed, dragging Shawn in the ocean.

"So, you want to take it that way, HUH?" demanded Shawn.

Next, the guys beat the living hell out of each other, too!

"YOU GUYS!" called Candice. "Oh, what a mess this is."

Meanwhile, Jeff and Kelly were still escaping the madman…

"Why won't he stop chasing us?" cried Kelly. "What does he want from us?"

"Me." replied Jeff. "After I kicked his ass the last time, he wants revenge. But he's not getting any. You know why?"

"Why?" she asked.

Then, Jeff turned around and kicked the madman in the gut. After that, he climbed up a tree and performed a picture perfect Swanton Bomb, finishing the madman off once again!

"That's why." Jeff finished.

She hugged him. "That was AWESOME!" she exclaimed. "So now what? We're kinda lost and now we're facing a 300ft cliff!"

"There's a random plane right there. It's probably crappy, but it's better than falling to our deaths. Let's go." he said, leading them both to the plane.

After they climbed in, Kelly said, "You know how to control this thing?"

"Uh…uh…no." Jeff said with a nervous chuckle.

"Let me in the driver's seat. I'll do it." she replied.

"You know how to fly a plane, Kel?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, I played a flight simulator game once, so hopefully that'll count." she replied. "Let's see how much I remember. Gears in place…ok, there's just two bottle caps and a soda can in here. Jericho build this?"

"Yeah, probably." he agreed.

"Ok, let's hope that this thing doesn't kill us. Brace yourself!" she exclaimed.

"Ready to rock, babe!" he called back.

She pushed one of the buttons, and then the plane flew off in a rush of 300 mph!

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed.

Back in the air, John was hanging on for himself as well as keeping Michelle from falling…

"John, it's no use. It isn't gonna work." she said.

"I agree on you with that." he replied. "Just remember. If you fall, I'll be there to catch you."

"John, you're slipping!" cried Michelle.

"Aw, damn! Brace yourself, Michelle!" cried Cena.

Then, he slipped off of the edge of the basket, sending them both flying down towards the ocean.

"HEEEEEEEELLLPPPP!" they screamed in terror.

Jeff and Kelly weren't doing too good, either.

"HEEEEEEEEEELLLLPPPPP!" they cried as their plane headed over the ocean.

Then, it fell apart.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Jeff cried in shock. Right after that, the two went flying down.

...

Matt, Punk, Mickie, and Maria were headed right for the cliff, when the moose bucked wildly, sending the four flying off of the cliff and into the ocean as they screamed for their lives.

Kofi, Santino, and the Glamazon were still riding the wild ostriches until the three were bucked into the same ocean.

After tumbling down the cliff, Edge and the girls ran into Mr. Bear and his friends once again.

"This game's getting a little old, don't you think?" Edge demanded.

The bears growled at them.

"AAH!" they screamed, being chased into the ocean.

JBL finally fell into the ocean with a splash, but the minute he opened his eyes, he found Kane and Undertaker staring down at him.

"Rest…In…Peace." Taker said, getting ready to finish him off.

"Get away from me!" JBL exclaimed running away, only to bump into Randy, Batista, and the beavers, who were all fighting.

Shawn and Triple H were still beating the crap out of each other, when they joined everyone else in the ocean.

"Eat MY food? You're gonna pay the hard way!" HHH shouted.

"You should know better than to mess with me!" Shawn cried back.

"Guys!" Candice called, still trying to stop them. "Please stop!"

After that, all 23 campers were all over the place!

Next, the hawk carrying the suitcase dropped it into the ocean!

"THE MONEY!" exclaimed Michelle.

She caught it first, then Candice, then Jeff, then Mickie, then Kelly, then Matt, then Edge, then Natalya, then HHH, then Shawn, then Melina, then Punk, then Maria, then John, and finally Randy!

"YES!" he cheered loudly. "It's MINE, ALL MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

But the celebration was short lived once a shark leapt up over him and ate the suitcase.

Everyone was dead silent.

"…That did not just happen." Shawn replied in shock.

After that, Jericho and Big Show came out, clapping.

"What a show that was. No, what a season finale it was!" Jericho exclaimed.

Randy was still frozen in place with his arms raised in the air, trying to pretend that he was still holding the suitcase.

"OUR MONEY'S GONE!" cried Melina.

"I know. Man, I'm still so damn excited about everything that's happened today!" he replied happily.

"Excited?" demanded Triple H. "I almost got my ass bitten off by that damned alligator!"

"And then he MAULED me over some chicken!" cried Shawn.

"And that madman almost killed us and chased Kelly and I through the whole camp!" cried Jeff.

"We almost had the money, but we nearly got killed after falling out of that hot air balloon!" exclaimed Cena.

"Undertaker and Kane harassed me!" exclaimed JBL.

"What else is new?" Big Show asked him.

"Mr. Bear and his friends almost ate us!" exclaimed Natalya. "He tried to manhandle me!"

"That's the only lover you'll ever have. Stalker." Randy muttered.

She kicked him in the gut again.

"I got to beat the crud outta Orton here." Batista smiled. "It was fun."

"You didn't win!" Orton replied.

"And we were sent on a roller coaster ride through the woods by that psycho moose back there!" exclaimed Matt.

"So, to wrap things up, Jericho, you have no idea what we've all been through today." concluded Punk.

"I'm-a outraged!" exclaimed Santino.

Batista splashed him with water. "That never gets old."

"And now, the million bucks is sitting happily inside of a shark's stomach." said Mickie. "What do we do now?"

"Well, I've actually got a surprise for some of you." replied Chris.

"Oh, no. Head for the hills, everyone." announced Jeff.

"It's not a bad surprise! Well, for most of you. Now I did see on video who caught the suitcase and who didn't before it was eaten. And those 15 people were…John, Randy, Punk, Shawn, Mickie, Maria, Melina, Triple H, Matt, Jeff, Edge, Kelly, Michelle, Natalya, and Candice." he revealed.

"What does that mean?" asked Maria.

"That means, I'll see you all next year for **Season 2** of the show!" he announced.

They all looked stunned.

"Season 2?" asked Matt. "There's gonna be another season?"

"You mean, we have to go through all this AGAIN?" demanded Mickie.

"You will, but not on the island anymore. The 15 of you will be taken to a completely new set, with completely new rules. So you guys, get ready for some major changes." he explained.

"Well, at least we're still gonna be together for season 2." Kelly told Jeff.

"Thank God for that." he replied, kissing her. "I don't think I can last another season with Jericho on my own."

"You won't be alone, dude." replied Matt. "I'll be there, Mickie, Michelle, John, Maria, Punk, HHH, Shawn, and Candy. This next season might not be as bad as I thought."

"What about US?" Melina cried, pointing to herself, Natalya, and Edge.

"And ME!" added Randy. "You forgot about me!"

"I know." said Matt.

"Well, if they're sticking together, then we'll just have to stick together, too." replied Edge. He stuck his hand out. "Well?"

"UGH!" Natalya and Melina scoffed as they headed in different directions.

"Rand?" he asked, with his hand still out.

He looked at him for a moment, and then broke into an evil grin.

As the two shook hands, Randy said, "Rated RKO?"

Edge smiled back. "You know it." he replied.

"Hey, what about the rest of us?" demanded the Glamazon. "Aren't we gonna be in the next season?"

"No. You people go back to your day jobs." Jericho said, walking off.

"It's ok-a my wonderful Glamazon. We will-a return!" exclaimed Santino.

"Sorry you can't join us, Maryse." said Melina.

She angrily splashed the water. "Can't believe this!" she snapped. "Oh, I'll be all right. Just make sure that Michelle doesn't win."

Michelle heard and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Hey, Shawn?" called HHH.

"Yo?" he replied.

"Uh, sorry about the chicken incident. I didn't mean to attack you like that, man." he said.

"No prob. So you learned your lesson about eating too much and attacking your friends?" asked Shawn.

"Sure did. And since we're both going into the next season, I've got a plan." said HHH.

"What?"

He whispered something in his ear.

"GENIOUS!" exclaimed Shawn. "Season 2 is gonna be exciting."

"Well, let's get the hell outta here, people." Randy said, leaving first.

"Hey Randy? You know you got a smiley face on the back of your head, right?" asked Maria.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

She held up a mirror while he saw.

"Wha—Wh—WHO DID THIS?" he demanded.

Everyone busted out laughing as they headed for the yacht.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" he cried.

"Man, I'll never forget this place." said Jeff.


End file.
